


The Long Way Home

by Juli



Series: The Long Way [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Behavioral Analysis Unit (Criminal Minds), Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-01-22 16:21:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 100,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21304988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juli/pseuds/Juli
Summary: A natural disaster like a tsunami often brings out the best in people. Unfortunately, for Evan Buckley, it also brings out the worst.The very worst.
Series: The Long Way [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768159
Comments: 621
Kudos: 784
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is going to go very dark, very quickly. Please mind the tags.
> 
> My plan is to post on Sundays. I'm also clawing my way out of a years-long case of writer's block. If Sunday comes and goes without a chapter, feel free to poke at me.

“Buck!! B-b-b-b-”

The sound of Christopher’s scream became garbled as Buck was pulled away and under the water. He wasn’t the only thing that the receding wave had claimed. To reach the surface, Buck not only had to fight the water, but all the debris that it had caught up in its savage movement. Buck clawed through the odd pieces of wood, a bicycle and other flotsam until he popped to the surface.

The ladder truck was already far more distant than Buck would have thought possible. Thank God that Christopher was wearing a bright yellow shirt. Despite the distance, Buck could see that the little boy was safe. 

For now, anyway. 

Determined to get back to his charge, Buck tried swimming, but the current of the wave worked against him. He didn’t get very far.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” Buck chanted under his breath. 

He’d been so caught up in saving Christopher and then anyone else he saw in trouble that Buck never thought about what would happen to all the water that had rushed in. It had to go somewhere, and Buck had been unprepared. He’d been helping a woman onto the ladder truck refuge when the water started rushing out and he’d been ripped from his perch before he knew what was happening. 

Bobby was always chastising Buck for acting without thinking. Every instinct Buck had was demanding that he swim directly back to Christopher, but clearly that wasn’t working. Hearing Bobby’s voice in his head telling him to be smart, Buck changed tactics. He stopped fighting the wave, mentally acknowledging that there was no way he was going to win against the ocean. Instead, Buck focused on staying afloat and dodging the worst of the debris. 

“We’re gonna die! We’re gonna die!”

Buck turned towards the screaming and saw a pair of young women. They were trying to hold on to one another in order to keep their heads above water but were mostly only accomplishing dunking each other. Buck looked around wildly and found what looked like a piece of telephone pole. He wrapped an arm around it and swam to the women.

“Hold on to this,” Buck told them as he thrust the pole fragment at them. “Let it take your weight. Save your strength.” He kept one of his hands on the pole but didn’t completely grab it. Buck wasn’t sure that it could support all three of them. His legs were getting tired, but he still could tread water. He wasn’t sure the same could be said for the women.

“We’re going to die, aren’t we?” One of the women asked shrilly. She looked to be a couple of years younger than Buck. Soaked, he couldn’t tell if her hair was blonde or brown, but there was no mistaking the terrified look on her face.

“Nah,” Buck assured her with a confidence that wasn’t faked. He believed in his team and, through them all of the LAFD. “I’m a firefighter, so I know they’re looking for us already.”

“Firefighter, what good is that going to do us?” The other woman had regained enough breath to talk. He could see from the scar on her face that she’d had a surgically corrected cleft lip. “There’s no fire!”

Buck looked around. The wave had pulled them from the pier area and out into open water. The shore was still frustratingly close, but there was no way any of them were getting there on their own.

“Look, my name’s Buck, what’s yours?” Buck asked. He had a lot of practice in calming people down.

“Melanie.”

He looked at the first woman and she provided her name too. “Jackie.”

“Jackie, Melanie, fighting fires is the least thing firefighters do.” Buck told them. “Believe me, they’re going to come. All you gotta do is hang on. Can you do that for me?”

They both nodded, if hesitantly. Buck was about to say more, but a movement in his periphery caught his eye. He could see a pair of arms waving in the air as someone else struggled to stay afloat.

“Shit.” Buck let go of the piece of wood and immediately swam towards the next person in need. He was getting tired, so it took longer than it had with the women. As he reached the person, he could see it was a man and just as Buck got to him, the man went under – and didn’t come up.

Buck didn’t hesitate. He took a deep breath and dove under. Thankfully the man hadn’t gone down too far and within moments, Buck had an arm around his chest and pulled him towards the surface. As their heads broke water, the man started to struggle with Buck even as he gulped for air.

“Calm down,” Buck barked. The man was significantly smaller than Buck, but his struggles threatened to send them under again. “I got you.”

It took a few moments, but either his words got through to him or the man became too tired to fight. Buck looked around desperately. He was growing increasingly tired and cold; he needed to find something for them to hold on to or they were both going to drown.

As much as the ocean had taken away from them, it also provided. Buck spotted a flat piece of wood floating not too far away. He wasn’t sure if it was part of a building or a billboard, but ultimately it didn’t matter. It floated, that’s all he cared about. 

“Hang on, here we go,” Buck told the man he was trying to save. 

The man didn’t answer and remained blessedly limp as Buck swam and towed him towards the flotsam. His eyes were closed, but Buck couldn’t tell if the man was unconscious or just too scared to keep them open.

It took more effort than it should have, but Buck got them to the floating board. It was smaller than he originally thought, but the man was small too so hopefully it would be enough.

“Here, hang on to this,” Buck instructed, going so far as to lift the man’s arm towards it. There was no reaction.

“Come on, come on. Do you want to die?” Buck tried again to get the man to hold on to wood and this time, he weakly reached out. 

Given the thinness of the wood, it wasn’t something that could be grabbed on to like with the two women that Buck had helped. Instead, Buck boosted the man onto the board. It was just big enough that he could curl up on it. Buck held on to the edge, but he was bigger and his weight caused it to dip dangerously. The man yelled wordlessly in fear and Buck let go, afraid that the man would get toppled back into the water. Buck was sure of one thing; he couldn’t lift the guy up again.

Realizing that sharing the board with the man he’d just rescued wasn’t going to happen, Buck looked around for something that he could use to stay afloat. What he saw was an awful lot of water, but he did catch site of something bobbing in the waves not too far from him. He made his leaden arms move so he could swim slowly towards the object. When he got closer, however, Buck discovered that what he’d seen was another person. This one was floating face down. Buck knew what that meant, but he could leave it like that. He swam to the corpse and put his shoulder underneath, flipping it. 

It was another man and from his fixed, open eyes, Buck knew that checking for a pulse was a moot point. He did it anyway, head dropping for a moment when he didn’t find one.

“Sorry, buddy.” Buck’s voice was a croak as he released the body. For all he knew, this guy had been dead since the first wave. Buck still didn’t like the idea of losing someone. While on the ladder truck with Christopher, he’d distracted the little boy when some bodies had floated past. He only hoped someone else was doing that for Christopher now. The kid had been through so much, he didn’t deserve to be traumatized like that.

While he was thinking, a sharp pain in Buck’s leg took him by surprise. His bad leg cramped and hurt like a son of a bitch. Buck’s cry of pain became a gargle as his head slipped under the water. Buck forced his leg to straighten and fought his way to the surface again. He coughed, making his chest hurt worse than when he was coughing up blood at Bobby and Athena’s house.

Finding something of his own that he could use as a float was becoming an increasing priority for Buck.

For the first time of the day, Buck had some good fortune for himself. He spotted something red practically bouncing in the water. When it bounced closer, Buck realized it was a cooler; the super large kind that you’d find at a tailgate party. Buck groaned softly as he made his body move again, snagging the plastic container before it could float by.

The cooler was big, but Buck was a tall man. Using a 100-quart cooler to support a six foot, two inch man was not easy. Eventually Buck found a position that kept his head out of the water, while allowing a grip that kept him from falling off. For the first time since he saw the wall of water headed for the pier, Buck was glad his team wasn’t there. Chim would never let Buck forget how he looked riding a cooler.

Everyone, including himself, was as safe as Buck could make them and that’s when the hard part started. Waiting.

The ocean wasn’t some tame swimming pool; it had plenty of movement. At first Buck could still see Melanie and Jackie clinging to the telephone pole and the little guy curled up on his board. The waves eventually carried them out of sight. Occasionally Buck though he could hear feminine screams in the distance, but even those faded after a while.

Buck never knew it was possible to be so tired. He thought it was bad when he was training to get re-qualified for the LAFD but that was child’s play compared to surviving a tsunami. His good leg was numb and his bad leg felt like a giant piece of lead hanging off of his hip. At least his bad leg wasn’t cramping anymore. Buck’s lungs felt like he was breathing shards of glass, but the worst was the way that Christopher’s voice echoed through his head.

The whole day was like a jagged puzzle that Buck’s shell-shocked mind was too tired to put together. One piece was spending time with Christopher at the pier before everything went to hell. Eddie had been right; Christopher oozed a kind of joy that had lifted Buck’s spirits. The next puzzle piece was seeing the wall of water coming in. Pure joy and sheer terror – how could those pieces ever fit together?

As the sun began slipping away, Buck’s world narrowed down to his grip on the cooler and the emptiness of the dark water surrounded him. When he saw lights in the distance, he at first thought it was a trick of his imagination. Then he heard the whiny buzzing sound of an engine and Buck’s hopes lifted.

“Hey!” Buck shouted, ignoring how it made his throat feel like it was going to rip apart. With a supreme effort, he pried one hand off his grip of the cooler and lifted it so he could wave. “Hey! Over here!”

If he’d still had the ability to produce tears, Buck would have cried with relief when the lights turned his way. The sound of an engine got louder and then Buck could see it. A rescue boat was headed his way. Whoever was piloting it wasn’t very adept and the boat’s wake threatened to swamp him. Buck cried out as he lost his grip on the cooler, but strong arms grabbed him. Whoever had hold of him was hanging on very tightly and it felt like agony to Buck’s exhausted body as he was pulled over the side and into the boat. He didn’t fight it, though. Pain meant he was still alive and so Buck welcomed it. He was going to live and, more importantly, be able to find out what happened to Christopher.

For several moments all Buck could do was huddle on the deck and breathe. Even after fighting dozens of fires where smoke seemed to steal all of the available air, Buck had never appreciated the simple act of breathing so much before. Vaguely, Buck was aware of people around him, mostly because they weren’t wearing any gear that would indicate they were first responders. He supposed given the breadth of the disaster that even civilians were helping with rescues. Bobby would have a fit; things got messy when civilians tried to help.

“Water?” Buck asked. It was hard to believe that, surrounded by the ocean as he was, his throat had never felt so dry.

“Not yet,” a voice responded. “Gotta see if you’re worth it.”

A bright light was shone into Buck’s face and he flinched back. A hand immediately not-so-gently gripped his chin and turned him back. Buck was so cold from his time in the ocean that the warmth from the other person’s hold felt like it burned his skin.

Buck couldn’t see past the bright light to see who was wielding it. He did, however, hear the long, low whistle the man gave.

“Boss, get over here,” the man yelled over his shoulder. “I think we hit the jackpot.”

The boat rocked as someone else approached. “What do we have here, Mr. Cory?”

A different hand took over the hold of Buck’s face. It turned him left and then right, ending with a thumb brushing over his chapped lips. “Oh, my, Mr. Cory, I think you’re right. They need to heal, of course, but I do believe that these lips were made to suck cock.”

Buck blinked, not sure he’d heard that correctly. Before he could protest, hands were running over his body. Given his tendency to get hurt, Buck was used to Hen or Chim checking him over. Those touches, however, had been professional and impersonal. This touch started out the same, but soon became something else. Neither Hen nor Chim had ever ended the process by copping a feel.

“Hey,” Buck tried to squirm away, but the someone behind him was holding him firmly.

“Mr. Cory, get this young man some water.” The voice said, now full of a greedy smugness. “I think he’s going to be a real money maker.”

A bottle was held up to his lips and, despite his confusion and growing disquiet, Buck drank willingly. All too soon, it was pulled it away.

“Gotta take it slow, beautiful.” A finger ran between Buck’s ass cheeks, but he was too tired to protest. “Don’t want you barfing all over the boat. Can’t damage the merchandise and all that.”

The grip remained, but the light was turned elsewhere. Buck blinked rapidly as he tried to get accustomed to the change in brightness. As his eyes adjusted, he could see that the women from earlier were also in the boat. Jackie was huddled in the corner, a water bottle clutched in her hand. Two men hovered over Melanie. Buck knew that clothing could be stripped off with the force of the tsunami, but he couldn’t figure out why Melanie’s shirt was pulled up, revealing her breasts.

“The face is a mess with that lip, but the body is okay,” one of the men said to the other. There was an almost clinical detachment in his voice. “And her tits are nice.”

The other man took Melanie’s left breast in his hand and gave a squeeze. “Yeah, they sure are.”

From the look on her face, Melanie wasn’t truly aware of what was going on. She moaned and reached for the bottle of water the first man held. He looked towards the bow of the boat and, apparently receiving permission, gave it to her. 

Before Buck could protest, the boat lurched to a stop. The flashlights were concentrated off to the side and Buck realized that they’d found the small man he’d rescued earlier. As the boat floated closer, the man was pulled off the board and dragged over the side.

After the newcomer was aboard, another person approached him. A light was shone into the small man’s face just it had been done to Buck earlier. The results were different, however.

“No, this one won’t do.” The voice was familiar, it was the man who’d told Mr. Cory to give Buck water. “Throw him back.”

Buck watched with horror as the two men who’d been with Jackie and Melanie approached the small man and, with no ceremony, pitched him over the side of the boat. Buck heard a shriek as the man’s form slipped under the water.

The shock energized Buck enough that he struggled with whomever was still holding him. “What are you doing? You’re supposed to be saving people!”

The apparent boss approached Buck. “Is that what I’m supposed to be doing?”

“Y-yes, of c-courssse,” Buck’s tongue didn’t seem to want to work correctly. He’d been exhausted when he’d been pulled into the boat, but despite being given water, his condition seemed to be deteriorating by the moment.

The water. Buck looked down at the bottle with dismay and then tossed it away. “Y’pu s’mthing in t’water.”

His defiance, as meager as it was, seemed to please the man in charge. He crouched by Buck and smiled at him indulgently. “Beautiful and smart. My clients are going to have so much fun with you.”

The edges of Buck’s vision began to darken as his body became limp. He heard a chuckle behind him and then he was being lowered to the floor of the boat with surprising gentleness. “Don’t want to damage the merchandise.” 

As unconsciousness approached, Buck finally realized that he might have been pulled from the water, but he hadn’t been rescued.

He hadn’t been rescued at all.


	2. Chapter 2

A tsunami didn’t leave much time for phone calls and even helping at the temporary triage center at the VA didn’t allow for many breaks. Still, Eddie tried. He knew that Christopher was safe since Buck was taking him to the movies. Amidst the death and destruction that the massive wave left behind, however, what Eddie really needed was to hear his little boy’s voice. 

The first few times Eddie was unsuccessful when he tried calling Buck, he didn’t worry very much. The tsunami was a major natural disaster and had taken out several cell towers. What little service that was available was taxed by the number of people trying to check on their loved ones. Eddie knew all the reasons he shouldn’t be alarmed, but even so, when the sun started to go down and still no word from Buck or Christopher, he couldn’t help but be concerned. 

Eddie was on a quick break, trying yet again to get through, when Bobby and the rest of the team showed up. Eddie was sure there was a good reason why they arrived in postal trucks, but he didn’t have time to hear it. He had something more important on his mind.

“Chim, have you talked to Maddie?” Eddie asked as soon as his teammates grew near. “Has she heard from Buck?”

“Yes and I don’t know,” Chim answered each question in turn, his expression showing that he was a little baffled but willing to go with it. “The subject of Buck didn’t come up.”

“Is there something wrong?” Bobby asked, his eyes flicking briefly to the phone in Eddie’s hand. 

Normally Bobby disapproved of the crew using phones while on call, but their day had been a marathon rather than a call. Besides, Bobby was good about cutting Eddie some slack where Christopher was concerned. And where Buck was concerned? Bobby would never admit it, but he’d always had a soft spot for Buck. That soft spot became downright mushy after Buck had been badly injured by an attempt to get revenge on Bobby. 

“I can’t reach Buck and Christopher’s with him,” Eddie explained. “When I can get a signal, there’s no answer.”

Bobby put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “We’re in the middle of a disaster, Eddie. It’s to be expected that there are communication issues. It’s textbook.”

“All day?” Eddie said pointedly.

“Eddie’s right,” Chim chimed in. “Buck hates being sidelined and during an event like this? He should be demanding updates, not dodging phone calls.”

“Maybe he’s got issues with his phone,” Hen suggested. “Does Christopher play any games on Buck’s phone?”

Eddie rubbed his forehead. “Yeah.”

“There you go,” Hen reassured him. “It could be that Christopher ran the battery down. Or maybe Buck has the phone off to protect Christopher from seeing any of the media coverage.”

Groaning, Eddie closed his eyes. He hadn’t thought about Christopher seeing anything traumatizing on television or online. He knew he couldn’t protect his little boy from the world’s ugliness forever, but he was determined to keep Christopher innocent for as long as possible.

“Let’s not borrow trouble,” Bobby’s confident voice broke through the team’s speculation. “I’m sure - …”

The blare of Bobby’s radio interrupted whatever advice the captain was about to offer.

“I’m looking for Captain Nash of the 118. Repeat, Captain Nash of the 118.”

Bobby broke off whatever he was going to say and grabbed his radio. “Go for Nash.”

“Captain Nash, this is Captain Willis of the 128. We’ve got your youngest recruit here and he’s eager to get reunited with his daddy.”

The team looked at each other, baffled. Eddie was glad he wasn’t the only one confused and was relieved when Bobby immediately responded.

“Come again?” Bobby asked.

“We have recovered one Christopher Diaz,” Willis said. “He said his daddy works at the 118 and he wants to see him real bad.”

Eddie was so surprised that he swayed where he stood. Hen was quick to put a steadying hand under his elbow, but Eddie hardly noticed. What the hell was another firehouse doing with his son? His son that was supposed to be at the movies? With Buck?

Bobby, thankfully, had been a father himself and seemed to know the feelings hitting Eddie.

“Is Christopher all right?” Bobby asked all while keeping his eyes on Eddie.

“Got a couple of scratches and bruises, but we’ve checked him over. He’s fine.” Willis reassured. “Just to be on the safe side, we’re taking him to the temporary set-up at the VA. We’re almost there.”

“That’s where we are,” Bobby told him. “South side.”

“10-4, we’ll be there in five,” the other captain told him. “Willis out.”

There was a stunned silence as the members of the 118 stood in shock.

“They were supposed to be at the movies,” Eddie whispered. “Safe.”

Chimney voiced another question. “What about Buck? Captain Willis didn’t mention him.”

For a moment, even Bobby seemed shaken, but then he visibly rallied. “Buck is a fully trained firefighter. Obviously, he kept Christopher safe, so we have to trust him to keep himself safe too.”  
“This is Buck we’re talking about,” Hen pointed out. “That boy could get hurt anywhere.”

“I gotta call Maddie.” Chim started digging his phone out.

“Not yet,” Bobby held up a hand as if to stop him. “Let’s wait until we have a chance to talk to Christopher.”

Chim nodded slowly and put the phone back with an expression that almost looked like relief. Somewhere beyond his shock, Eddie could understand that. He wouldn’t want to have to tell Maddie that her little brother was missing either.

Captain Willis hadn’t been exaggerating when he said their rig was only five minutes out. Before the news that his son had been in the tsunami had really settled, Willis’ crew was there. Eddie jogged to the truck and was vaguely aware of the others following behind him.

“Christopher?” Eddie called out even before the truck came to a full stop. “Chris?”

“Daddy!”

The back of the truck opened and there Christopher was. There weren’t child safety seats on a firetruck, so Christopher was perched on the lap of a female firefighter. Christopher’s curls were a tangled mess, there were tears smeared all over his son’s face, and his yellow shirt was so dirty that Eddie almost didn’t recognize it.

Eddie thought Christopher was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

Christopher reached out to Eddie with grabby hands. “Daddy!”

He didn’t remember moving, but Eddie suddenly had his sobbing son in his arms and was holding him tight. “I’ve got you, buddy. You’re okay now.”

“The water took Buck!” Christopher’s voice was hoarse, and his breathing was fast and labored. “He saved me and then the water took him away.”

Although Christopher’s words about Buck caused Eddie’s stomach to roil with stress, he kept his voice soft as he murmured to his son. Eddie felt a touch to the small of his back and glanced to the side. Hen gestured with her head and Eddie followed the movement with his eyes. Somehow Chim had found a chair and was motioning him to sit. Eddie gratefully moved to it.

As he continued to comfort his son, Eddie was aware of Hen and Chim moving around them. The two paramedics were checking on Christopher’s physical state without moving the boy from Eddie’s lap. For his part, Christopher was content to let them shine lights in his eyes and carefully feel of his limbs. As long as they didn’t try to take him out of his father’s embrace, Christopher didn’t protest.

“Eddie,” Bobby’s voice was gentle, and Eddie wasn’t sure who the captain was trying not to spook; Eddie or his son.

“Yeah, Cap,” Eddie had tucked Christopher’s head under his chin and pressed his lips to his son’s hair. It tasted of salt.

“Willis said that they rescued Christopher off a ladder truck that was flipped, along with about a dozen others.” Bobby had obviously been talking to the other captain while Eddie was preoccupied with Christopher. “There was no sign of Buck, although Christopher told them that Buck had saved him.”

“He did,” Christopher had heard his hero’s name and lifted his head to look at Bobby with red-rimmed eyes. For the first time Eddie realized that Christopher’s eyeglasses were gone. “Buck was like Superman. He saved me and all those other people too.”

Eddie didn’t doubt it for a minute. Buck had been vomiting blood mere days before, but it would take more than that to keep him from saving people.

“Mijo, can you tell us what happened to Buck?” Eddie asked carefully. Christopher had calmed down considerably and he knew the question would upset the little boy, but it had to be asked. “Why wasn’t he on the truck with you?”

Sure enough, the questions caused Christopher to tear up again. “The water took him away.” His voice was a whisper that was so quiet that Eddie had to strain to hear him.

Bobby crouched in front of them. “Do you remember which way the water pulled Buck?” The captain asked. “Did it pull him towards the land or away from it?”

There was a tense few minutes as the group waited for Christopher to answer.

“Away.” 

“Thank you, Christopher, you’re a very brave boy.” Bobby patted Christopher’s knee as he turned his gaze on Eddie. “You should be very proud of him.”

“Always am,” Eddie pulled Christopher closer, but the boy didn’t protest. Instead, he snuggled closer.

Bobby stood and turned from them. As wrapped up as he was in his son’s safety, Eddie listed to his captain. Christopher might be safe, but it didn’t sound like Buck was.  
“Hen, track down the woman doing the intake and has the list of patients. See if Buck or anyone meeting his description has come through. If not, I want every cot checked. I see Bosko over there. She’s still looking for word on her captain; take her with you.” Bobby started with his orders. “Eddie, let us know if Christopher remembers any more details. Chim, time to talk to Maddie. Might be best if you go in person.”

Chim looked at Bobby in concern. They all know that their leader would keep the most unpleasant task for himself. “What are you going to do, Cap?”

Bobby’s expression was a stark mask. “I’m going to check out the black tent.”

Where the recovered bodies were stored.

“Let’s get going, people. We’ve still got a man out there,” Bobby ordered. “We need to bring Buck home.”

As the others moved off to their various tasks, Eddie kept Christopher close and murmured a soft prayer. He would be eternally grateful that his son was safe …

But at what price?

911 – 911 - 911 – 911 - 911 – 911 - 911 – 911 

“So what’s the deal with this Buck guy anyway?”

Hen glanced overs at her companion. She and Bosko had confirmed neither Buck nor Bosko’s Captain Cooper was on the list of known survivors at the VA and now they were going through ward by ward, checking each cot and corner for a sign of them. Something about Bosko’s tone rubbed Hen the wrong way and she had to remind herself that Bosko had just met the members of the 118 and didn’t know Buck at all.

“He’s one of us,” Hen said shortly. 

“Why wasn’t he on duty with the rest of you?” Bosko asked. 

“Buck is still out on medical,” Hen saw a tall figure trying to fit on a cot. For a moment she was hopeful, then she realized that it couldn’t be Buck; the skin color was wrong. “Got his leg crushed by a ladder truck.”

Bosko’s eyes got wide. “He’s that guy?”

“Yeah,” Hen responded wearily. The whole city, especially the firefighters, knew about the incident. “He’s that guy.”

“The explosion and now a tsunami.” Bosko shook her head. “That is one seriously impressive streak of bad luck.”

Hen closed her eyes for a moment, thinking of all they’d been through with Buck in the last year – and how quiet the station had been without him. She didn’t want to believe there might be a chance they’d never get him back.

“You don’t know the half of it,” Hen finally responded to Bosko’s statement. “Now come on, we’ve got another floor to check.”

Bosko nodded. “I’m sure we’ll find Coop and your Buck around here somewhere. Coop’s as tough as they come and from what you said of your guy, he’s the same.”

Hen knew that Buck was strong, he’d proven that over and over again. Looking at the damage the tsunami had wrought, though, Hen just wasn’t sure that being strong was going to be enough.

911 – 911 - 911 – 911 - 911 – 911 - 911 – 911 

Chimney walked into the 9-1-1 center as carefully as if he were entering a minefield. In terms of the emotional consequences of what he was about to tell Maddie, maybe it was a minefield of sorts. As worried as Chim was about Buck, he was just as concerned about Maddie. She’d been through so much; Chim didn’t know how much more she could take.

“Chim!” 

Maddie had spotted him and was smiling widely, even as the circles under her eyes showed how exhausted she was. Chim didn’t say anything as Maddie came to him and wrapped her arms around him in a big hug. 

“I’m so glad you came,” Maddie said, words slightly muffled because her face was pressed into his chest. “I heard the governor called up the National Guard; you guys should have some relief soon.” She snuggled in closer. “I can’t imagine what the 118’s gone through today. It’s been so swamped here that all that’s gotten me through is knowing that at least my little brother is safe.”

“Maddie. . .”

She lifted her face from his chest, not breaking the embrace, but moving back enough so she could get a good look at his face. “I know that’s selfish of me, but you know as well as I do that if Buck had been on duty that he’d be doing all sorts of risky things. Today is one day that I’m glad he’s been couch potato lately.”

“Maddie. . .” Chim used a little more force in his tone and it finally got through to his lover. He watched as her face paled.

“What is it?” Maddie asked. Her voice had dropped to a hoarse whisper. “What’s wrong? I’ve been monitoring the calls; I’d know if the 118 is in trouble.”

“It’s Buck,” Chim forced himself to say. “He wasn’t safe on his couch today, Maddie. He took Christopher Diaz to the pier.”

“Oh god.” 

He could feel the moment that Maddie started to shake even as he continued his explanation. “We didn’t know they were out there until another squad brought Christopher to Eddie. We know that Buck survived the initial wave, but according to Christopher, the receding surge caught Buck and separated them.”

“Christopher is safe?” Maddie asked. When Chim nodded, she sagged in his arms. “That’s good. Buck would want that.”

“We’ll find your brother,” Chim recklessly promised. “Like you said, the National Guard is coming in, so the 118 will shift our focus on locating Buck.”

“He’s on blood thinners,” Maddie whispered, tears starting to fall. “If the water doesn’t get him, the debris will.”

Maddie was a trained nurse, so she knew better than Chim did what could happen to a body on blood thinners when it was hit by a variety of flotsam. Buck didn’t just have drowning to worry about, but a serious enough impact could cause internal bleeding. If something like that went untreated, death would soon follow.

“Hey,” Chim gave Maddie a gentle shake. “This is Evan Buckley we’re talking about here. As good as he is at getting into trouble, he’s even better at getting out of it. No doubt we’ll find Buck in a few hours and he’ll immediately jump on Bobby about getting reinstated.”

Maddie smiled and, even if it were a bit watery, Chim would take it as a victory. “You think so?”

“Yeah,” Chim reassured her. “I really do.”

As Maddie clung to him for comfort, Chimney hoped he hadn’t just lied to her. Buck was a great fireman, but a tsunami was something else. He just hoped that the infamous Evan Buckley hadn’t met his match.

911 – 911 - 911 – 911 - 911 – 911 - 911 – 911 

Bobby hoped he was wrong. He’d told the chief that Buck wasn’t ready to come back. That would strain his relationship with Buck if the younger man ever found out about it, but Bobby wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he let Buck back too early and the kid got hurt because of it. Athena had suggested that maybe it was Bobby who wasn’t ready, but he’d brushed that concern aside. He hadn’t been the one crushed by a ladder truck.

Someone who wasn’t ready to be a firefighter again probably had no hope of surviving a tsunami. So Bobby hoped he was wrong about the one in the hopes that the other wasn’t true either.

After he’d given his orders to the others, Bobby had stood for a moment, building up the nerve to go into the black tent. He felt eyes on him and glanced over to where Eddie still sat with his son. The sight made Bobby smile. If he did find Buck in that tent, at least he’d have the comfort of knowing that Buck had died doing the work that he loved, with the bonus of having saved a kid he adored.

Resolutely, Bobby turned away and towards the hastily constructed morgue. He was again delayed, this time by a familiar voice calling his name.

“Bobby!”

Bobby turned towards the sound and pulled up short when he got a good look at his wife. Athena was covered in blood and the fact that she was on her feet was little comfort.

“What happened to you?” He didn’t dare hug her, not just because of a possible injury, but also because they were both on the job.

Athena looked down at herself. “It’s not mine.”

“Thank God.” Bobby felt like he could suddenly breathe again. “What happened?”

He saw a shudder go through his wife before she answered. “I don’t – can’t – talk about it yet. Maybe later.”

Bobby could see that her eyes were haunted, but he let the issue drop. Athena would talk to him when she was ready. Until then, he had a firefighter to find, even if that meant finding Buck in the morgue.

“What’s wrong?” Athena could always read him, even when Bobby was at his most stoic. “You were headed towards the black tent, isn’t that the temporary morgue?”

“Buck’s missing,” Bobby explained. “He was down at the pier when the wave came in.”

Athena rubbed at her forehead, either unaware or uncaring of the bloody smear the action left behind. “Of course it’s Buck and of course he was at the pier.” Despite the tone of her words, her expression when she looked at her husband was full of concern. “What can I do to help?”

“For now, nothing,” Bobby told her. “I think we’ve got all the bases covered.”

“And you’re checking the morgue?” Athena asked.

“Yeah,” Bobby had no reason to deny it.

“Then I’m coming with you.”

Well, maybe he did have a reason after all.

“Athena, it’s my team and my responsibility,” Bobby said.

“Bobby Nash, that boy has sat at my table and eaten my food and thrown up on my floor,” Athena protested hotly. “He’s family.” Her expression gentled. “And you’re my husband. If you think I’m letting you go into that tent alone, you got another thing coming.”

Bobby smiled at her weakly. “And that’s why I love you.”

“Damn straight,” she grabbed Bobby’s hand, for once not caring about anyone seeing. “Let’s get this over with.”

There was a police officer sitting at the entrance to the tent, but she waved them through at the sight of their uniforms. Or it could have been Athena’s presence. Bobby didn’t give it much thought as he entered the temporary structure.

It was the same day that the tsunami had hit, if a lot later, so not much decomposition should have set in. There was still the scent of death in the air, though, combined with the brine of the sea. Bobby could see that FEMA had been at work, each body was zippered into its own bag. 

“I’ll start at this end, you start at that,” Bobby instructed. He should have known better with his wife.

“No.” When he looked at her, Athena’s expression was firm. “We do this together.”

There were dozens of bodies housed in the black tent and Bobby knew those numbers would only increase as the rescue and recovery efforts continued. They soon found, however, that they didn’t need to open every bag. Buck was a tall man; they could eliminate the bags that held smaller forms. Bobby was grateful that he didn’t have to open any that contained children.

Time seemed to still as Bobby forced himself to look at face after face of the dead. He was aware of Athena as a strong presence by his side and, eventually, they were done. Evan Buckley or, rather, his corpse, was not in the temporary morgue.

Bobby shoved his way out of the tent and the fresh air immediately made him nauseous, so great was the contrast with the flavor of air inside the morgue. He stumbled to the side and lost all the contents of his stomach. Vaguely he was aware of Athena stroking his back as he retched. When it was over, he wiped his mouth and rose from his knees.

“Sorry about that,” Bobby said. He was in awe of his wife; she didn’t seem to have been affected at all.

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Athena assured him. She kissed Bobby on the forehead. “I care about Buck, but he’s not my kid the way he is yours. It didn’t hit me as hard.”

Bobby was skeptical but didn’t call her on it. Athena’s heart was as big as they came, she just liked to hide it more. Without another word, he started trudging back to where they’d started out. 

Eddie was still in the chair, with Christopher sleeping in his lap. Bobby hoped he could muster up the strength to talk to the younger man later. Eddie had been on a hell of an emotional rollercoaster ride. Now that the elation and relief that Christopher was safe had time to wear off, Bobby guessed that Eddie would be full of concern about Buck. 

As Bobby and Athena approached, so did Hen. Bosko, on the other hand, was nowhere in sight. As soon as she saw her captain was looking at her, Hen shook her head.

“No joy, boss,” Hen told them. “We saw neither hide nor hair of Buck.”

Bobby nodded. “He wasn’t in the black tent either.”

“Thank God!”

Turning, Bobby saw Chim and Maddie approaching. He must have been in that tent longer than he thought if Chim had enough time to not only talk to Maddie, but also bring her to the VA.

“What do we do now?” Chim asked the question they were all thinking.

Bobby saw them all look to him for direction and pulled deep to find the strength to answer. 

“We look for Buck,” he said simply.

Eddie cleared his throat and looked down at Christopher. The boy was still sleeping, so wouldn’t be impacted by the conversation. “And if we don’t find him?”

Bobby responded a lot more confidently than he felt.

“Then we keep looking for him until we do.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a dark chapter; read at your own risk.

Buck had a lot of experience waking up in hospitals, so he knew what it was like to come to with a muzzy head and a body that hurt. Usually, though, when he regained consciousness, it was to a bright room that smelled like antiseptic and had the beeping noise of medical equipment. If he was lucky, Maddie or one of the members of the 118 would be there when he opened his eyes.

This time when Buck clawed his way to awareness, the room he awoke to was bright, but that was the only similarity to what he’d experienced before. There was no beeping of equipment, the smell was musty rather than sterile, and there were certainly no friendly faces. Almost as soon as Buck managed to open his eyes, he closed them, not able to make sense of his surroundings.

The angles were all wrong and Buck had a feeling he should know why, but he was only marginally awake, and it was beyond him. Even with his eyes closed, the strangeness continued. It sounded like there were more people than should be in a hospital room and the tones they were speaking with were harsher than what Buck was used to hearing in the hospital. 

Since the world around him was confusing, Buck turned his muddled attention inside. He hurt all over, especially his arms. His head pounded like a drum and Buck felt cold as the air hit his bare skin. Buck moaned softly, utterly miserable.

“Mr. Carlyle, the pretty boy’s waking up.”

The voice was familiar, and not in a good way, but Buck couldn’t place it. His face scrunched up as he strove to work it out. As he was trying, a hand cupped his ass and squeezed.

Buck’s eyes flew open.

The groping reminded him of the boat and that caused a domino effect. The boat reminded him of the tsunami and the tsunami reminded him of. . . 

“Christopher!”

Buck jerked forward, determined to start looking for Christopher, and the pain in his arms increased with the movement. That’s when he realized that the reason the angles had all looked wrong was that he wasn’t laying in a bed; he was vertical. Buck lifted his head and looked up; he was hanging by his arms.

“Calm down, beautiful,” the voice behind him was full of amusement. “You don’t need Christopher, whoever that is; we’re going to take good care of you.”

“Who the hell are you?” Buck demanded. Despite the stranger’s attempt at comforting him, Buck ignored the pain in his arms and started to struggle.

Instead of stopping him, the stranger let Buck go and stepped away. Buck tried his best to get his arms down, but they weren’t budging. He looked up again and saw that his wrists were buckled into bulky restraints. A closer look showed him that they were of leather cuffs lined with fabric. Unfortunately, the shackles were as sturdy as they looked. Buck soon went through what meager strength he currently had trying to get out, but it was futile.

After only a few minutes of fighting the restraints, Buck had exhausted himself and sagged. His feet barely touched the ground, which put even more strain on his body. While he recovered his breath, Buck looked around. He appeared to be in a warehouse, but one where the racking had been moved to the sides, leaving a large open space in the middle. Near Buck was a series of beds, but they weren’t hospital beds. Not when the people on them, mostly women, were restrained like Buck was.

“He’s even prettier awake,” another familiar voice said. 

Buck’s head snapped around. It was the boss from the boat, the one who’d had the small man Buck had rescued tossed overboard. Now with better lighting, Buck could see that the man was around Bobby’s age but was a lot shorter. He had a head of thinning brown hair that was starting to gray and wore a pair of metal-framed glasses. The man looked like an accountant until Buck got a good look at his eyes. Despite the man’s mild-mannered appearance, he had the cold eyes of a predator.

“Who are you people?” Buck demanded.

“He’s really a remarkable specimen,” the man started circling Buck, using an assessing tone of voice that made Buck vaguely nauseous.  
Buck tried to turn to keep the man in sight, but with the way he was tied, there was no way. Buck was not exactly body shy, but he was painfully aware that he was naked in front of two fully clothed men. He would have given anything to be able to lower his arms and cover his junk, but that just wasn’t going to be possible.

“I see the bruising is healing up nicely,” the man’s voice was behind Buck, so he had some warning before a caressing touch brushed across his back. “And you’ve kept him clean and untouched. Very well done, Mr. Cory.”

“Thanks, Mr. Carlyle.”

Since Buck couldn’t see the man behind him, he turned his attention to Mr. Cory. In contrast to the boss, Cory was tall. Taller than Buck, in fact, and that didn’t happen often. Whereas Buck was somewhat slender given his height, Cory was a solid mass who wouldn’t have looked out of place on a professional football field. Cory’s hands, in particular, were huge and that, coupled with the mean look in Cory’s dark eyes, made Buck gulp.

“Who are you people?” Buck asked again, his voice dropping to a hoarse whisper. He had a bad feeling that he didn’t really want to know the answer.

Carlyle finished his circle on Buck’s left side. His hand reached up towards Buck’s face and Buck instinctively moved his head away. Carlyle sighed. “Mr. Cory.”

Cory stepped closer to Buck and those big hands were soon on the side and back of his head, holding Buck immobile for Carlyle. Buck couldn’t move, not even when Carlyle’s impersonal touch traced the edges of his birthmark. 

“This isn’t a bruise, I don’t think.” Carlyle sighed, but didn’t seem too disappointed. “Too much perfection and he would seem untouchable. We certainly don’t want that.”

Carlyle stepped back and at his nod, Cory let go of Buck’s head and stepped back too. 

“Yes, I do believe this one acquisition alone will pay for the entire fishing trip,” Carlyle told Cory.

Buck couldn’t believe his ears. “I’m not an acquisition, I’m a person!”

For the first time, Carlyle addressed him directly. “One does not negate the other.” Buck must have looked as confused as he felt, because the man went on to explain. “You’re both acquisition and person.”

A scream interrupted them. Buck looked at the source of the noise and discovered there was activity at the beds he’d noticed before. A nude man climbed on top of the woman closest to Buck and positioned himself between her legs. While Buck watched with unbelieving eyes, the man thrust into her and began pumping. The screams diminished into whimpers.

“Hey!” Buck yelled. He struggled against his restraints, despite knowing it was hopeless. “Get offa her!” 

He looked at Carlyle and Cory, hoping they’d intervene. Instead, they watched dispassionately.

“You’ve got to help her,” Buck begged. 

“Oh, don’t worry about her,” Carlyle said. “She’ll get used to it.”

All of a sudden, a lot of things made sense to Buck. A horrific kind of sense. 

“You’re human traffickers,” he said in a hoarse whisper.

For the first time, an emotion other than smugness crossed over Carlyle’s face. “Human traffickers are rank amateurs. They are to me like a street performer is a Cirque de Soleil artist.” The irritated man turned towards his companion. “Can you imagine, Mr. Cory? He thinks we’re human traffickers.”

“That’s ridiculous, Mr. Carlyle.” 

“What I am is a businessman,” Carlyle addressed Buck again. “Any idiot can use drugs and manipulation, but that results in an inferior product with a short shelf life. I offer my clients an exceptional experience with far superior merchandise.” The smile he aimed Buck’s way was not at all reassuring. “And you are now part of my offerings.”

“No, I’m not,” Buck said defiantly. “I am a firefighter with the LAFD. Station 118. My name is - . . .”

His voice came to an abrupt stop when one of Cory’s hands covered Buck’s mouth. He hadn’t even seen the man move.

“I don’t care what your name is,” Carlyle told him. “I only care how you perform for me.” He glanced at Cory. “I think I’ve heard enough. The voice doesn’t live up to the rest of the package. That accent is atrocious. Silence it.” 

“Yes, sir.”

Cory pulled something out of his back pocket and Buck realized that the big man had been prepared for this all along. As he stepped closer, Buck saw that the item was a ball gag. Buck instinctively pressed his lips closed and clenched his jaw.

Buck’s defiance did not go unnoticed. Cory grinned even as he put the gag over Buck’s head. He rubbed the ball portion against Buck’s lips and when Buck only shook his head, Cory chuckled. The hand not holding the ball of the gag dipped down below Buck’s sight. He didn’t have long to wonder what Cory was up to, though; a sudden yank on Buck’s cock made it made it abruptly clear. He yelped and Cory slipped the ball into his mouth and before Buck really knew what was happening, the strap was in place.

Gagging, Buck tried to spit the ball out, but it was no use. The hard plastic filled his mouth and wouldn’t budge. He next worked at it with his tongue, but all that did was made it slippery. Like it or not, the gag wasn’t going anywhere. Frustrated, he glared at his captors.

Not that it did any good.

“Look at the fire in those blue eyes.” If anything, Carlyle seemed amused by Buck’s reaction. While Buck had been fighting the gag, Carlyle had found a pair of plastic gloves and a tube, the kind that held ointment. “All right, Mr. Cory, let’s see what else he has.”

Cory stepped forward again. Buck retreated as much as the restraints would let him, but unfortunately that wasn’t far. While Carlyle again moved around this Buck’s back, Cory put a knee between Buck’s knees and wrapped his hands around Buck’s hips in an iron grip. 

“We could have done this while you were asleep,” Carlyle explained as he rubbed one hand against Buck’s ass and then parted his cheeks. Buck tried to struggle, but Cory held him too firmly. “But I find it’s best to set some parameters while the subject is awake. Gives me an opportunity to establish the ground rules.”

Buck jerked as he felt something cold and slimy slip between his cheeks. He was only partially relieved to realize that it was too small to be a cock and that it must be Carlyle’s finger. A sharp slap to Buck’s ass momentarily disrupted his efforts to dispel it.

“Calm down,” Carlyle ordered. “You’re not doing yourself any good.”

Maybe not, but Buck wasn’t about to stop. He tried ramming his head into Cory’s, but the big man just laughed and pulled him closer. The action caused Buck’s ass to be canted a little higher in the air and Carlyle used the extra leverage to insert his finger an inch or so into Buck’s ass.

It didn’t hurt, but even that slight penetration wasn’t welcome. Buck clenched, trying to prevent Carlyle from being able to get any further in. For several moments there was a silent war between the two.

“He’s a feisty one, boss,” Cory was enjoying holding Buck, if the smile on his face was any indication.

“That he is,” Carlyle’s voice was a little breathless. 

To Buck’s relief, the fingertip was removed. He stilled, trying to recover his breath. He knew that there was more to come. His eyes wandered to the area where the beds were. The nude man had finished with the first woman and had moved to the second. Buck felt bile rise in the back of his throat.

“Hmmm. . . have a little bit of a hero complex, do we?” Carlyle had tracked to where Buck was looking. “You did say you were a firefighter. Perhaps this will go better with a little bit of encouragement. Mr. Cory, if you will? I think you know what I have in mind.”

“Sure thing, boss.” Cory chuckled and after a quick pat to Buck’s hip, let him go. Buck’s relief was short-lived, however, as he watched Cory walk towards the beds.

“No one is looking for you, you know.” Carlyle had moved to stand beside Buck. “You died in the tsunami, after all.”

Buck shook his head in denial. The 118, aided by Athena, wouldn’t give up until they found him. It was only a matter of time until they burst through the door. Then it would be Carlyle and Cory’s turn to be restrained.

“The fishing trip was a stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. All those souls that no one would miss. Not all of them are as attractive as you, but enough to make it more than profitable.”

Buck wanted to punch in Carlyle’s smug face.

“It’s been a week since we plucked you out of the water,” Carlyle went on. “It seemed best to keep you sedated until you were healed enough to do a true assessment. We’re not even in California anymore. No doubt your family and friends have had your funeral by now.”

It took everything Buck had not to start crying. A week? 

His dismay must have been obvious, because Carlyle smiled in satisfaction. “You might try being nicer to Mr. Cory. Who do you think kept you clean and nourished during those days?” The smile turned into a chuckle. “Not that he minded having his hands on you.”

The idea that Cory had been touching him while Buck was unconscious left Buck feeling even more vulnerable. 

“Here you go, Mr. Carlyle.”

Cory had returned and wasn’t alone. He was dragging a woman by her arm. She stumbled as though dazed and a quick glance verified that it was the woman from the first bed, the one that Buck couldn’t stop from being raped. That wasn’t all she was, either. A second look at her face made Buck realize that it was one of the women he’d rescued. Jackie.

Jackie stumbled to her knees when Cory let her go. There was absolutely no fight in her. Cory had no apparent concern as he left her there to go over to a nearby table. Buck didn’t track what the big man was doing. Instead, he tried to get through to Jackie.

“-ackie!” He tried to say through the gag. She didn’t react.

A crackling noise drew Buck’s attention away from her. Cory had come back and was holding a taser.

“Well done, Mr. Cory.” Carlyle turned to Buck. “We’re going to try this again and if you continue to be uncooperative, this young lady will pay the price.” He leaned forward as though sharing a confidence with Buck. “She’s not as valuable as you are, so we needn’t concern ourselves with any damage.”

Buck only glared at Carlyle.

His reaction caused Carlyle to sigh. “Mr. Cory, I think a demonstration is in order.”

“Sure thing, boss.”

Cory pulled back Jackie’s hair with one hand and used the other hand to bring up the taser. With a grin towards Buck, he pressed the crackling taser against Jackie’s left breast. She cried out weakly as her body shook and seized from the taser charge. When Cory let her go, Jackie fell to the floor, where she continued to twitch.

It had happened so quickly that Buck hadn’t had a chance to react. After Jackie fell, however, he twisted and jerked in his restraints, ever more desperate to get free. He tried to yell through the gag, but it just came out as a garbled mass of noise. His breathing became distressed as he continued to fight, and Buck was coming close to hyperventilating.

“Calm down,” Carlyle ordered, but Buck was beyond hearing him, even if he had any intention of obeying. “Mr. Cory, remove the gag.”

His vision was starting to darken at the edges, so Buck barely noticed as Cory removed the gag. He was aware, however, that it was easier to breathe, and Buck took deep gulps of air as he hung limply in his restraints.

Carlyle moved in front of Buck so that he could look him in the eye. “All right, we’re going to make another attempt,” he told Buck. “If you fight me this time, we’re going to hurt the young woman again. If that happens, it will be your fault. Do you understand?”

Still gasping, Buck nodded his head.

“Very good.” Carlyle smiled at Cory. “See, he can learn.”

The two men resumed the positions they’d had earlier, with Carlyle behind Buck and Cory holding him from the front. This time when a slippery digit started exploring in between Buck’s ass cheeks, he shuddered but didn’t fight. He felt the tip of Carlyle’s finger circle the rim of his rectum and then slide in. Buck tensed instinctively.

“Relax,” Carlyle demanded. 

Looking at Jackie still on the floor, Buck bit his lip and did his best to comply. As the rest of Carlyle’s finger slid into him, Buck couldn’t stop the tears from coming.

“There, isn’t that better?” Carlyle stroked the small of Buck’s back. He also started rolling the finger in Buck’s ass around. It was a weird feeling.

Buck didn’t answer, which made Carlyle laugh. “Mr. Cory, is our new acquisition enjoying this at all?”

Cory looked down to where his knee was between Buck’s legs. “Nope, not a twitch.”

Enjoying it? Sure, Buck sometimes thought about being with a guy, more often since Eddie joined the team, but not this. Never this.

“That’s too bad,” Carlyle finally removed his finger. When he walked around to Buck’s front, he was taking the gloves off. He stopped right in front of Buck and looked him deeply in the eyes. Buck did his best to glare back.

“I think we can use his reluctance to our advantage,” Carlyle turned and started talking to Cory again as though Buck wasn’t there. Or like Buck was present but didn’t matter. “Mr. Cory, I know you usually handle the training of our new assets and you do a superb job, but I have something different in mind for this one.”

“Mr. Carlyle?”

Cory didn’t sound happy and Buck wasn’t going to lose any tears over that.

“He’s as tight as I’ve ever felt and I know that we have a number of clients who would be the one to break him in, so to speak,” Carlyle explained. Buck wished he hadn’t. 

“Yes, sir.” Cory almost sounded like he was pouting.

As Carlyle began to walk away, he patted Cory on the shoulder. “Don’t look so glum, Mr. Cory. His ass needs to stay virgin, but his mouth is all yours. Can’t have him biting the customers, after all.”

“Thanks, Mr. Carlyle.”

Buck was alarmed at the enthusiasm in Cory’s voice. Apparently so was Carlyle, although probably for different reasons.

“Not a mark on him, Mr. Cory,” Carlyle admonished before he left Buck’s line of sight. “Use the leverage if you have to.”

When Carlyle was gone, Cory moved back from Buck. The first thing that Buck noticed was the wide grin on the man’s face. The second thing that Buck noticed was the tent in the man’s pants. Buck hadn’t enjoyed the session with the finger in his ass, but Cory clearly had. Buck had a sinking feeling that the combination did not bode well for him.

“Okay, pretty boy, time for some fun.” 

Cory moved to Buck’s side and started working with some pully’s and levers. Whatever he was doing caused Buck to be lowered to the floor. For one glorious moment Buck had some slack in his binding, but then Cory did something else that caused restraints to tighten. Buck was as immobile as before, except now he was on his knees.

“Rule #1, no biting,” Cory instructed. To Buck’s horror, the big man started unzipping his pants. “Rule #2, no biting. And rule #3, no biting.”

Buck tried turning away, as though if he couldn’t see what was happening meant that Cory couldn’t follow through. It was no use. Cory grabbed Buck by the jaw and forced him to look.

“Gonna have to ask the boss to let your hair grow,” Cory said. “A man likes to have something to grab onto, you know?”

“No, I don’t,” Buck ground out. Cory didn’t have his cock out yet, but Buck was afraid to open his mouth very wide. “I’m not a rapist.”

Cory ignored him. “You heard the boss; you give me any grief and I take it out on the girl. She’s a dime a dozen; no one is gonna make a fuss if she fries.”

Jackie whimpered. “Please.”

Buck looked at her. He wasn’t sure that Jackie recognized him as the one who’d saved her in the tsunami, but that didn’t matter. She was another human being and Buck wasn’t going to let her be tortured on his watch. Ever since Buck had hurt his leg, Bobby had been trying to tell him that there was more than one way to save people. Time to take Bobby’s advice. Buck couldn’t save himself, but maybe he could save Jackie some pain.

“No,” Buck looked steadily at his captor. “No fuss.”


	4. Chapter 4

“I don’t think I can do this.”

Maddie kept her eyes forward, staring aimlessly out the windshield of Chim’s car. She didn’t want look at her boyfriend. Maddie didn’t want to be reminded that Buck had been missing for four months, didn’t want Chim to point out that renewing the lease on Buck’s apartment was a waste of money.

She didn’t want to admit that her brother might be dead.

“Maddie, honey, look at me.” Chim’s voice was gentle. “Please.”

It was the ‘please’ that was her undoing. Doug never said please. Maddie turned to Chim and instead of judgement in his eyes, she saw understanding.

“If you’re not ready, then we don’t do this.” Chim stated. 

“That simple?” Maddie asked.

Chim nodded, no humor in his expression. “That simple.”

As much as Maddie wanted to believe him, she knew that the situation was anything but simple. Everything had become more difficult since the tsunami. Since Buck die-

Disappeared. Everything was more difficult since her brother had disappeared.

“I’ve got some money saved up, I can take over the rental payments,” Chim offered. They both knew that Maddie was still working on getting her finances stable since the whole situation with Doug. “Or I could pick up a side job.”

It was a generous offer, but then Chim was a generous man. Maddie felt herself tearing up. Sometimes it seemed like all she’d done for four months was cry. At some point, she thought her tears would run out, but she seemed to have an endless supply.

“You’d do that for me?” Maggie asked. 

Chim smiled then, but it wasn’t a happy one. “Not just for you, but for Buck too. He was my little brother even before I met you.” He flinched. “Is. I mean, Buck is my little brother.”

Maddie realized something. Chim had been her rock since Buck was lost. He’d been a solid shoulder for her to cry on and his arms were her safe haven. Chim had been everything a supportive boyfriend should be, but now Maddie wondered who had supported Chim? The other members of the 118 were as wrecked by the situation as Maddie was. 

“What did I do to deserve you?” Maddie cupped Chim’s cheek with one hand.

Chim turned into the touch and kissed her palm lightly. “You must have been a bad person in a past life, to be stuck with someone like me.”

“Or maybe I did something really good and you’re my reward.” Maddie leaned forward and kissed Chim gently.

For a moment they sat quietly, but then Maddie broke the silence with a sigh. “We have an apartment to clear out.”

“You sure?” Chim asked even as he got out of the vehicle. 

“It’s just an apartment,” Maddie answered indirectly. “Buck didn’t even like it there.”

In fact, Buck had hated that apartment. Maddie should know, he’d complained about it enough to her. It was the place Buck’d rented with Ali in mind and then she’d broken up with him. Not only that, but Buck had been stuck there after his leg was crushed. With all the bad memories related to the space, Maddie would have been surprised if Buck had renewed the lease. It was the idea that he wasn’t around to make the decision himself that made it so difficult for Maddie.

“C’mon, let’s go,” Maddie got out of the car with the appearance of more energy than she really felt. When Chim joined her, however, she held on to his hand tightly.

Together, they walked up to the building and went inside. The couple didn’t talk as they approached Buck’s door. Maddie fumbled for the right key, but Chimney just reached around her and pushed the door open.

A group of people was waiting for them. Bobby and Athena. Hen and Karen. Eddie. The entire 118 family, minus Buck. Around them was a virtual sea of empty cardboard boxes, tape and other necessities for packing. Maddie turned to Chim with a surprised expression, but it was Athena who answered her. 

“Did you really think we would let you do this alone?”

Maddie’s mouth worked, but she couldn’t make anything come out. Chim took pity on her and explained.

“We couldn’t find a storage unit,” he said. “With so much damage in the city, they’re in high demand.”

“None of us can take everything,” Bobby took up the narrative. “But all of us can take something.”

“Just tell us what you want us to do,” Hen added.

Athena was right, Maddie really should have known that Buck’s fire family would want to be a part of this. The smile she gave them was slightly watery but it was genuine all the same.

“Hen,” Maddie cleared her throat. “Can you and Karen take the bathroom? I think Buck has still has some pain medication and you’ll know what to do with it.”

“Will do.” Hen and Karen grabbed a couple of boxes and headed towards the bathroom. 

“Bobby, can you and Athena handle the kitchen?” Maddie cleared her throat. “I think you gave him most of the equipment in there anyway.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” Bobby smiled at Maddie, but she could see the same sadness in it that was likely in hers. 

As they walked towards the kitchen, Maddie couldn’t help but notice that Bobby’s clothes fit a little loosely on him. She knew from what Chim told her that Bobby continued to cook for the team, but the way his clothes fit was evidence that he wasn’t eating. Maddie knew she should be worried for him, but a small, selfish part of her was comforted to know that she wasn’t the only one so deeply affected by her brother’s disappearance.

“What about me?” 

Maddie turned to the voice and realized that it was Eddie who’d spoken. He looked uncomfortable to the point of jumping out of his skin, but he stood his ground. Maddie sighed. Eddie’s attitude was her fault. When she’d heard about the street fighting, Maddie had unleashed all the fear and rage she’d been holding in since the tsunami on Eddie. She’d said all sorts of ugly things about Eddie risking his life in such a foolish activity when Buck had risked his to save Christopher. It wasn’t her finest moment.

“You’re coming with Chim and me,” Maddie said. “You know how many clothes Buck has; it’ll take all three of us to pack them.”

Eddie grabbed some boxes willingly enough and followed Maddie up the stairs to Buck’s loft. Maddie could feel the tension coming off him in waves, however. The three of them worked for several minutes in silence, until Maddie caught Chim’s eye and jerked her head towards the door.

“I’m gonna take a load out to the car,” Chim announced. In the short time they’d been working, they’d already filled up two boxes.

Chim had barely made it down the stairs before Eddie spoke up.

“Maddie. . .” Eddie started. “About what you said the other night –“

“Was unnecessarily cruel,” Maddie interrupted. “I’d been trying to hold everything in and I took it all out on you. That wasn’t fair. I’m sorry.”

Eddie began shaking his head when Maddie was halfway through with her apology. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I was an idiot. You’re right, Buck was a hero; I was being a dumbass.”

“Yeah,” Maddie agreed in a soft voice. “But you were a dumbass who was hurting.”

Her calling him a dumbass made Eddie snort with barely repressed laughter. It soon faded, however, and Eddie gave her a hangdog look. “It feels wrong to laugh, you know?”

“I know,” Maddie admitted. “It’s like Buck took all the laughter with him.”

“Even Christopher doesn’t laugh that much anymore,” Eddie said. “He still asks when Buck is coming back.”

The topic of Christopher reminded Maddie of something. “I have some things I’m sure you’ll want to have. Come with me.”

Eddie obediently followed Maddie down the stairs and into the kitchen. A couple of boxes were almost full, but Bobby and Athena had stopped their packing activities. They were standing in the middle of the kitchen in a tight embrace, but Maddie could immediately tell that it wasn’t a romantic one. Bobby’s back was to her and she could see Athena’s face over his shoulder. Athena was rubbing a hand down Bobby’s back; a gesture of comfort. The two broke apart when Maddie and Eddie entered the room.

“Sorry,” Maddie bit her lip, sorry to have interrupted an obviously emotional moment.

“No worries, just taking a quick break,” Athena’s voice was brisk. 

Bobby turned around and Maddie couldn’t help but notice how red rimmed his eyes were. There was no other sign of tears, but clearly the captain was struggling.

“Some of these actually appear as though they’ve been used,” Bobby said, gesturing to a box that had a skillet sticking out of it. “I guess those cooking lessons didn’t go to waste after all.”

“Buck made dinner for Chim and me one night,” Maddie told him. “It was edible. Buck was so proud.”

“He was a good student,” Bobby said. He looked at her guiltily before amending his statement. “Buck is a good student.”

“Bobby, let’s take a load downstairs before these boxes get too heavy,” Athena suggested, using that tone of voice that meant it wasn’t a suggestion at all. 

“We’ll be back,” Bobby promised. The two of them grabbed the boxes and left the apartment.

Maddie walked over to the refrigerator. She looked at the happy pictures held there with magnets and the bright colors made her smile. 

“I thought you might want to have these,” Maddie said to Eddie as she gathered up the drawings. “Christopher is quite the artist.”

When she went to hand them to Eddie, though, he held up his hands in refusal.

“I can’t, Maddie. Chris drew those for Buck,” Eddie said. “If I bring them home now, he’s going to wonder.”

“All right, I’ll keep them safe.” In truth, Maddie was happy to keep the pictures. They were tangible proof that Buck’s love for the little boy had been returned. It helped, sometimes, in the middle of the night when she couldn’t sleep for wondering how frightened her brother must have been to face that wall of water, to know that Buck had been lost doing what he loved, saving people. If only one of them could be rescued, Maddie knew that Buck would want it to be Christopher.

“I’m going to go back upstairs and keep packing,” Eddie told her. 

He left the kitchen, but Maddie didn’t follow. Instead, she went to the living room. Chim and Eddie could handle the clothing, so Maddie was going to pack up Buck’s personal items, like photos and other decorative items. There wasn’t much; Buck was always one to collect experiences rather than things. 

As she worked, Maddie listened to the voices around her. Sometimes they were tinged with sadness and sometimes with laughter. Buck’s apartment was small, so with all seven of them working, it was teeming with life. That felt good. Maddie, with Chim’s help, had been keeping the apartment clean, but it had felt so empty. With everyone there, she halfway expected Buck to stroll through the door, demanding to know why he hadn’t been invited to the party.

But of course he didn’t.

The rest of the day went the same way, with tears and laughter, and the distinct absence of Buck. A truck had been rented for the furniture and the pieces were divvied up without any disagreements. Before Maddie was ready, her brother’s life had been packed up and moved out. One by one the others left, until Chim and Maddie were alone.

Maddie stood in the middle of the living room. The apartment felt achingly empty. Maddie thought back to what she’d told Chim before they started, that it was just an apartment. Now that it was empty, she knew she’d been wrong, and in more ways than one.

“Chim?” Even Maddie could hear the tremble in her voice.

Warm hands came to rest gently on her shoulders as Chim stepped closely behind her. “Yeah, babe?”

“My brother’s dead, isn’t he?” Maddie said. 

Chim carefully turned Maddie around so that she was facing him. He reached out with both hands and, using his thumbs, gently brushed aside the tears that had started falling again.

“Yeah, honey, he is,” Chim responded. “We’ll never find his body, but Buck didn’t survive. If he had, we would have found him by now.”

“And you all knew it but me,” Maddie sobbed.

Chim pulled her into his arms. “We had an advantage over you on that. You weren’t out on those boats when rescue became recovery. We saw up close and personal the kind of damage a tsunami was able to do. You needed to come to that conclusion yourself.”

Seeing all of those bodies wasn’t what Maddie would call an advantage, but she understood what Chim was saying. Having seen all the death that the tsunami had caused, the members of the 118 had been forced to admit before Maddie that there was no way Buck could survive.

“What are we gonna do?” Maddie asked.

“We go on,” Chim said. “Buck would want us to be happy, you especially.”

“I don’t know if I can do that,” Maddie rested her head on Chim’s chest. “Be happy, that is. I don’t know if I’m strong enough.”

“You’re plenty strong,” Chim assured her. “Besides, nothing has to happen right away.”

Maddie rested against Chim for another moment. “Do you think everyone will be mad? That they’re storing stuff for Buck and he’s not coming back?”

She felt rather than saw Chim shake his head. “No. I think they’re happy to have a piece of Buck to hold on to right now, even if it’s just his things.” He squeezed her tightly before moving so that his arm was around her. ‘Come on, let’s go home.”

Maddie nodded her head but didn’t say anything until they got to the door. As Chim reached out to turn out the light, she put her hand on his wrist and stopped him.

“Don’t,” Maddie asked. “I can’t stand the thought of Buck’s apartment being dark.”

“Okay,” Chim obligingly left the light on and, arm still around her, guided Maddie away from the last place where her brother had lived.

Arm or light, Maddie wasn’t sure which one comforted her the most.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more dark chapter, hang in there! And, as always, please mind the tags.

The rhythmic up and down movement was soothing to Buck; the motion was familiar and something he was good at. Of course, it didn’t sit well that he was doing it for Carlyle and his goons, but since there wasn’t any choice anyway, Buck figured he should make the best of it. He tried not to think of how much better it would be if Eddie were there, but Buck had learned not to think of his fire family unless he was alone; he didn’t want to taint their memory with the hell he’d found himself in. Unfortunately, Buck wasn’t alone often.

“C’mon, Spot, pick up the pace,” a voice intruded on Buck’s reverie. “Move on to the next set.”

Buck dropped the dumbbell he’d been working with and moved to the next heavier one. He hated the nickname but didn’t say anything. It felt good to use his body for something other than sex and he didn’t want to give them a reason to cut the session short. Carlyle wanted Buck physically fit for the clients, but wouldn’t tolerate any acting up.

With an inner grimace of distaste, Buck flipped his hair out of his eyes. It was still short on the sides, but longer on the top. Not too long, but enough to curl and definitely long enough to pull. Buck hated it. The good thing about his hair, though, was that its growth was one of the few ways that Buck could measure time. He only got to go outside was when they were moving from one facility to another and that didn’t happen often. When it did, Buck was moved quickly and while heavily guarded; he didn’t get much of a chance to look around or to use the weather to tell what season it was. From the cycle of his hair growing and being trimmed, however, Buck knew that months had gone by. It felt like forever.

“Why do you call him Spot?” The second guard asked. He was a new one and Buck hadn’t seen him before.

“Show him your pretty face, Spot,” the first guard ordered. Buck recognized the man; the guard had been around for a while. Buck knew his name was Benson, but Buck liked to refer to him as NoseHair. Not out loud, of course. Defiance like that would be cause for punishment and it wouldn’t be Buck that got hurt. 

Buck slowly turned his head so that the other men could see his birthmark. 

The new guard was just like all of Carlyle’s other goons. Tall, broad and mean. At the moment, he had a grin on his face. It didn’t improve the guard’s looks any.

“I get it, you call him Spot ‘cause he’s got a spot on his face.”

And stupid, Buck added in his thoughts. Tall, broad, mean and stupid. That described most of Carlyle’s thugs, with the exception of Cory. That man was way too smart, particularly when it came to finding ways to punish people who made him unhappy. Buck shuddered at the thought of him.

“That’s not the only reason,” the first guard drawled. “Look at those puppy dog eyes.”

Buck felt his face getting warm but didn’t protest. It just wasn’t worth it.

“C’mon, Spot, flash him your baby blues.” A slight hint of threat entered the first guard’s voice.

It wasn’t a suggestion, so Buck lifted his eyes to the other men. He continued the arm curls, however, using the action as an excuse not to interact with them. 

“Dogs don’t got blue eyes,” the new guard protested. He really was stupid and Buck decided he’d think of this one as Einstein.

“It’s not the color, it’s the how big and sad they get,” NoseHair explained. “You should see him when Mr. Cory gets done. He looks just like a kicked puppy then. But even that’s not the real reason we call him Spot, like a dog.”

“What?”

Buck knew what was coming and just kept lifting weights. 

“Because Spot here is a real champ at doggie style,” NoseHair chortled. “Best ass west of the Mississippi.”

Einstein laughed out loud and the next thing Buck knew, the man’s hands were cupping his ass. Buck put the dumbbell down with a thump but kept his expression stoic. He did his best not to shake. If Carlyle or Cory came in while one of the guards had hands on him, then there would be hell to pay.

“Cory ever let us sample the merchandise?” Einstein asked.

“It’s Mister Cory and don’t you ever forget it.” NoseHair slapped Einstein on the back of the head. “And keep your hands off this one. He’s not for the likes of you and me.”

Buck tried not to be too obvious in his sigh of relief. The guards could be a touchy bunch. He did risk a glance towards the side of the room, looking to share that relief with Jackie, when he realized that she wasn’t there. That was odd, especially on a workout day.

They’d continued using Jackie to keep Buck in line, hurting her whenever Buck didn’t perform the way he was supposed to or if there was even a hint of him acting up. She wasn’t with Buck constantly, but often enough that not seeing her for a couple of days was unusual and more so for a workout day. Carlyle wanted Buck to stay in shape because that’s what the customers paid for, so whatever facility they moved to always had weights and other equipment. Although Buck was always guarded when he worked out, they usually had Jackie there too in case Buck was disobedient. It just didn’t make sense that Buck was in the workout room and that Jackie was not.

“Where’s Jackie?” Buck’s voice was rough enough that he almost didn’t recognize the sound of it. It was the result of not speaking, unless screams counted.

“Wait, he talks?” Einstein exclaimed. His surprise was so obvious that it was almost as if Buck was actually the dog that his nickname made him out to be.

NoseHair frowned. “He’s not supposed to.”

Buck remembered the lessons about not talking and shuddered but didn’t let the subject drop. “Where’s Jackie?”

“That’s not your problem,” NoseHair motioned to the dumbbells. “Get back to work.”

For a moment, Buck hesitated. Did he push it or not? If he did, Jackie might get hurt as a way to punish him. They might even be baiting him to make that happen. But what if she was already hurt? Or worse?

“Where. Is. Jackie?” Buck drew out the question, doing his best to sound intimidating.

NoseHair stepped forward. He had a baton in one hand and slowly slapped it into the palm of his other. Even though the baton was wrapped in fabric and duct tape, Buck was well acquainted with how badly it could hurt, even if the wrapping meant that he didn’t bruise that badly.

“That’s none of your business,” NoseHair told him. “Your business is getting back to the weights so that you can look good when you get fucked. Now get back to it.”

Buck shook his head even while he held his ground. “Not until I see Jackie.”

“Shit,” NoseHair didn’t strike out with the baton, despite the implied threat with it.

“Who’s Jackie?” Einstein asked.

NoseHair didn’t answer him. Instead, he grabbed his radio. “Mr. Cory, we have a problem in the weight room.”

“On my way,” was Cory’s terse answer.

“You should have kept your big mouth shut,” NoseHair told him. “Cory’s gonna make you pay the price.”

Einstein was tired of being ignored. “Who the hell is Jackie?”

Nosehair leered at Buck. “Spot here thinks his name is Lassie. Wants to be the hero. To keep him in line, the boss uses one of the girls as a whipping boy.”

“He don’t look like a hero,” Einstein chuckled.

Even an idiot like Einstein was right once in a while. Buck knew he wasn’t hero, not anymore. He was standing in the middle of a makeshift weight room, exercising for the benefit of the men who would rape him – Buck couldn’t be any further from a hero. But he was all that Jackie had.

The door opened with a bang and Cory strode in. The smirk on the big man’s face should have warned him, but Buck was still surprised to see Carlyle right behind him. 

“What seems to be the problem, gentlemen?” Carlyle asked.

“Spot won’t finish working out until he sees the girl,” NoseHair explained.

Cory walked forward until he was mere inches from Buck and it took everything Buck had not to step back. “That so.” 

Buck pretended to ignore Cory and instead addressed Carlyle. “I’ve done everything you said. I’ve been good. I just want to see Jackie, to make sure she’s okay.”

“You have been good,” Carlyle responded calmly, but that cool demeanor wasn’t comforting. Buck had seen the man order terrible things to be done without breaking a sweat. “You’ve been more than good, you’ve been brilliant. The clients are very pleased with you.”

There was no good answer to that, so Buck remained silent. The last thing he wanted to be praised for was being a whore, but without knowing what was happening to Jackie, he didn’t dare complain.

“It’s like I thought, you’re a natural,” Carlyle went on. “So much so that your young friend wasn’t needed anymore.”

“What-?” Buck stuttered. “What do you mean?” 

Cory crowded close as he answered for Carlyle and this time Buck gave ground. “He means that you like it. You’re a slut.”

“That’s not true!” Buck protested. Yeah, he’d slept around a lot before, but that was before Abby. Before Bobby’s influence had really sunk in. Carlyle couldn’t know about that phase of his life, could he?

Carlyle looked even more smug than usual. “Look at that, Mr. Cory. He’s protesting too much.” 

Buck’s mouth snapped shut. He knew he couldn’t win a war of words with Carlyle. 

“As for your little friend, it was obvious she wasn’t needed anymore,” Carlyle continued. “She’s dead.”

“What?” Buck couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“She wasn’t anything special,” Carlyle told him. “And since we didn’t need her to control you, when a client learned of the tolerance for pain she developed, he asked us to let him test it. She didn’t survive, but I did make a tidy sum.”

Buck felt like his mind was moving a mile a minute. Would Carlyle really let Jackie be murdered to turn a profit? 

Yeah, he would.

“You’re evil,” Buck whispered hoarsely. 

“I’m a businessman,” Carlyle retorted. “And what - …”

Buck lunged forward. With Jackie gone, there was no incentive for him to behave and what he wanted most in the world was to shut Carlyle’s bastard mouth. Unfortunately, he’d momentarily forgot about Cory. The big man grabbed Buck around the torso as Buck tried to get by him, swinging Buck completely off his feet. The air left his body with a whoosh as Cory slammed him to the floor.

NoseHair and Einstein joined in the fray and Buck’s ears were soon ringing from blows to the head from the baton. It might have been cushioned, but it still hurt like a son of a bitch. Before he could react, there were hands everywhere and Buck was being leveraged to his feet. The room seemed to be full of guards and it occurred to Buck that they’d gotten there awfully quickly. Just as quickly as Carlyle and Cory had shown up after NoseHair had radioed them.

It looked like Buck had been baited after all.

Carlyle walked over to where Buck was being held by the others and grabbed Buck by the hair. “As I was saying, I am a businessman and you are my property. I cannot and will not suffer your disobedience. I thought you’d learned your lessons, but apparently not.” His next comment was directed towards Cory and the guards. “You know where to bring him.”

Buck struggled as he was forced to walk out of the room, following Carlyle. If Jackie really was dead, then Buck was through being obedient. 

They didn’t go far. The facility they were currently using looked like a decommissioned manufacturing plant of some sort. Carlyle tended to look for places without windows, so they were usually in some sort of industrial facility or warehouse. The room being used for the weights looked like some sort of office and the guards were moving Buck to what appeared the manufacturing floor. Buck didn’t know what had been made there, but whatever it was, it had involved large chains hanging from the ceiling. Attached to one of those chains was a contraption that Buck knew all too well.

It was a sling.

Upon seeing it, memories flashed through Buck’s mind of his first time, of rough hands and catcalls and feeling like he was being split in two. Buck’s struggles redoubled. Even as motivated as he was, though, there were too many guards to fight, not to mention Cory. Buck felt a brief flicker of victory when he felt his elbow connect to Cory’s jaw, but the big man didn’t so much as grunt. Knowing Cory, his jaw was probably made of iron.

Whether Buck wanted to or not, he was manhandled to the sling and then maneuvered into it. In far short time than his pride liked, Buck was strapped up and dangling helplessly, his feet at least a foot off the floor.

“As I was saying,” Carlyle continued as though nothing had changed. “I cannot afford disobedience. I don’t need your little friend in order to reinforce your place here. Benson, bring them in.”

NoseHair, with the assistance of Einstein and other guards, led over a small group of people. Buck hadn’t had much interaction with the other unfortunates that Carlyle had in his power, but he’d seen enough that he recognized some faces. Carlyle hadn’t just responded to Buck’s defiance over Jackie by using some other captive to use as a whipping boy; he had brought them all.

Some of the other prisoners had the blank, dazed expressions of drug addicts, but not all. Those that were more aware had expressions that ran the gamut from helplessness to anger, the last being directed towards Buck.

“You don’t have to do this,” Buck’s voice dropped to a whisper.

Carlyle shook his head. “Yes, I do and while you watch them being beaten, remember that it’s all your fault.” 

The last was said loud enough that the others could hear. Carlyle had just sabotaged any possibility Buck had of finding allies in the future.

“Mr. Cory, I’ll leave you to it.” Carlyle began to walk away. “I trust you to use your imagination and don’t worry about bruising our primary asset; his client this evening will find it arousing.”

Cory chuckled and patted Buck almost fondly on the ass. “Benson, pick one and let’s get this party started.”

Buck closed his eyes in despair. He’d failed. Again. He’d failed as a firefighter, he’d failed to keep Christopher safe and he’d failed Jackie too. Not only that, what if Cory and Carlyle were right? He’d been a slut before, what if he was a slut now? What if he really wanted what they were doing to him?

Buck was only glad that Maddie and his 118 family couldn’t see him now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still a little on the dark side.

David Rossi wasn’t sure how he’d gotten himself into this situation.

He was a founding member of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit and a bestselling author. He’d hunted and caught serial killers, mostly by dissecting their minds with clinical precision. Dave had years of experience, a finely-honed sense of justice and appreciation for the finer things in life. Despite his profiling skills, why did Dave feel like that last attribute was why he’d been tapped for this assignment?

“Come to New Orleans for the Super Bowl, they said,” Dave muttered under his breath as he straightened his tie. “It’ll be fun they said.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Prentiss told him. She had leaned against the far wall as she watched Rossi get fit with a wire and camera. 

“Yes, you do,” Agent Whittaker contradicted her. “We’ve got some agents that specialize in undercover operations, but none of them look comfortable in a $5,000 suit. You do.”

“Lucky me,” Dave’s voice was dry.

The Super Bowl was a national event of nearly biblical proportions. It drew football fans and celebrities alike, all looking to have a good time. With the party atmosphere that prevailed in a host city, sometimes that good time was less legal than it would otherwise be. Sex workers flocked to the Super Bowl’s host city every year and some of those workers were unwilling. Sex trafficking was almost as big as the television ratings for the game.

The FBI’s Civil Rights Unit was one of the entities tasked with investigating sex trafficking. Normally, the BAU wouldn’t be pulled into their work, but the FBI was putting a full court press on trafficking; many available teams were brought in to try and make an example of the traffickers that had come in for the Super Bowl. They’d been assigned to Whittaker because her team had a lead on a notorious trafficking ring. It was called the Menagerie and even amongst traffickers it was known to be brutal. Rumor had it that its workers were even less willing than normal.

Prentiss didn’t look happy at Whittaker’s reasoning for putting Dave undercover and the younger agent saw it.

“Look, we have the blueprints of the warehouse that the Menagerie has been using this week, but we also know they like to modify any facility they use,” Whittaker’s voice was logical, but there was a passion under her words that showed how invested she was in her work. “We only need Rossi on the inside long enough for the camera to capture the current layout and maybe to find out where the victims are being held. FBI SWAT will be waiting just out of sight, ready to start the raid as soon as we have the information.”

“And what if Rossi gets recognized?” Prentiss still wasn’t buying it. 

“Come on, Emily, Rossi hasn’t been on the best-selling list for years now,” JJ said. She’d entered the room just in time to hear Prentiss’ comment.

“Ouch,” Dave’s voice was mild and the meekness of his protest made JJ smile.

“Actually, if our information is correct, it may not be an issue even if Agent Rossi is recognized,” Whittaker claimed. “The Menagerie is rumored to have clients who are very rich, very powerful or both.”

“’May not’ isn’t good enough,” Prentiss pressed. Dave didn’t need to be a profiler to know she was worried; it was written on her face. “How certain are you of Rossi’s introduction?”

Whittaker’s lips thinned with frustration, but she didn’t protest. “Reverend Kenny Todd is looking at federal prison for fraud, tax evasion and money laundering. Getting us entry to the Menagerie is the only deal he has available to him. He’s solid.”

“Emily, I appreciate your concern, but it’ll be okay. I’ll be okay.” Dave did his best to reassure Prentiss. She took her job as head of the BAU very seriously. “Whittaker has covered all of the bases.”

Prentiss locked gazes with him, but she relented. “All right but be careful. Give the word and we’ll send SWAT in early.”

Dave nodded at her solemnly. “Will do.” He rose and shrugged on his suit coat. “Come on, let’s get this show on the road.”

With everything going on in the city, the local NOPD was already stretched thin, so the FBI hadn’t commandeered the local police headquarters. The New Orleans FBI office also couldn’t accommodate the number of agents temporarily swelling their numbers. Hotels were booked, so they were using a closed elementary school. The incongruousness of armed agents using spaces filled with child-sized desks and other furniture was unsettling.

Dave and the others entered what used to be the teacher’s lounge. It was full of FBI SWAT agents wearing their tactical gear. Despite his expensive suit, Dave felt underdressed. They were the last to arrive, so once the commander recognized them, he gave a sharp whistle to get everyone’s attention. 

“All right, eyes front,” the commander snapped. “This is Agent Rossi; he’s the one going undercover. Make sure you know his face, he’s one of the good guys. Try to avoid shooting him.”

Having worked with the SWAT leader before, Dave didn’t take offence. Jerry Clark might have a skewed sense of humor, but he was the best at what he did.

“That over there is the Reverend Kenny Todd,” Clark pointed at a well-dressed man seated to the side. Dave was not amused to see that Todd’s suit probably cost more than his did. Dave doubted the man’s parishioners had known what their tithes to his church were really being used for. “He’s not one of the good guys, but he’s a civilian.”

“Rossi’s going to go in and get us the lay of the land. We’ll be waiting a block over. You know your teams; you know your assignments. Priority one is freeing the victims and getting them to safety. Priority two is arresting the sacks of shit responsible. Any questions?”

“Can we shoot Todd?” A voice called out from the back.

“Unfortunately, no,” Clark asked. “We need him to get Rossi inside. Any other questions?”

Dave wasn’t surprised when there weren’t any. Clark would have already briefed his people. Like Clark, they knew their stuff and were the best of the best. Whittaker walked Rossi over to Kenny Todd.

“Mr. Todd, this is the agent you’ll be vouching for,” Whittaker told him.

“Actually, it’s Reverend Todd,” the man stood as he corrected her. He was a short man with white hair that contrasted sharply with his tanned skin. He carried himself with the assurance of a career conman.

“Mr. Todd,” Whittaker emphasized the man’s name, bringing attention to the fact that she was ignoring his request. “This is Agent Rossi. You’ll be introducing him to Leland Carlyle.”

“Leland Carlyle?” Dave repeated. 

“The mastermind behind the Menagerie,” Whittaker explained. “Apparently he and Todd here are bosom buddies.”

“I wouldn’t go that far, Agent,” Todd protested. “I have merely visited his establishment a time or two.”

“And didn’t think to report that he was a human trafficker until you needed something to bargain with,” Rossi countered. “You’re just an upstanding citizen, aren’t you?”

“I am a sinner,” Todd said, but there wasn’t any contrition in his voice. “The Lord knows and forgives me.”

Whittaker interrupted before Dave could reply. “You’re confident that you can get Rossi in?”

Todd looked Rossi up and down before smiling. “You picked well. Agent Rossi looks like a man who appreciates the finer things in life. He’ll fit right in.”

It wasn’t meant as a compliment and Dave didn’t take it as one. Still, he didn’t let it rattle him. Todd was a lowlife; his opinion meant less than nothing.

Clark walked up to them. “Rossi, you know your part?”

“Get in and wander around as much as I can so the camera can pick up the layout.” Dave parroted back the instructions he’d been given. “Keep an eye on the clock and get myself to an out of the way corner after twenty minutes because that’s when your guys come in. If I ever feel in danger, say the safe word.”

“Which is?” Clark prompted.

“Puzzle,” Dave provided.

“Good,” Clark praised him. “And try to remember that you were a Marine before you became a paper pusher.”

There was a noise of protest from JJ and Prentiss, but Dave didn’t let the dig get to him. The members of the BAU were far more than paper pushers, but to adrenaline junkies like SWAT officers, anyone who didn’t wear tactical gear as often as they did street clothes was a paper pusher.

Clark turned back to his people. “C’mon boys and girls, let’s earn our paychecks.”

Dave walked with the rest of them outside. Unlike the SWAT members who got into a van, his ride was a luxury SUV, complete with driver. Dave stopped just short of getting in to give Prentiss one last reassurance.

“I’ll see you when it’s over,” Dave told her. “Clark knows his business.”

“I know and Garcia is handling the camera feed,” Prentiss said, nodding at Dave’s large tie clip which disguised the camera. “If there’s anything I don’t like, I’m sending in the cavalry.”

Dave smiled at her. “I would expect no less.”

It didn’t take long for both Dave and Todd to get into the SUV and soon they were on their way. 

“You have the burn phone?” Dave asked Todd. 

The plan was for Todd to make the introduction and then get a phone call that would cause him to leave. No one wanted Todd there when the raid went down. It wasn’t that there was concern about a civilian possibly being caught in a firefight; it was more that no one truly trusted the fallen reverend. 

“Yes, I do,” Todd took it out of his pocket and brandished it at Dave. “It’s somewhat lacking in style, but it’ll do.”

“Good,” Dave glared at the other man. “What can you tell me about Carlyle.”

Todd shrugged. “He’s got an eye for beauty in all its various forms. He’s a gentleman.”

“I doubt that,” Dave retorted. “A gentleman doesn’t sell people.”

Even Todd couldn’t refute that statement and to Dave’s relief didn’t even try. There was no more chatter as the SUV first navigated the streets of New Orleans and then started heading towards the outskirts. Intellectually Dave knew that an operation like the Menagerie would draw unwanted attention in the French Quarter or other downtown hotspots. Even so, he wasn’t expecting the SUV to head into an industrial district.

Finally, the SUV stopped outside a warehouse. Dave must have looked as uncertain as he felt, because Agent Peters, posing as the driver, looked at him in the rearview mirror and shrugged. “This is the right place.”

“Carlyle is smart,” Todd was the only one in the SUV without any doubts. “He always hides his establishments in the unlikeliest of venues. A true diamond in the rough.”

“You’ve been to other locations that Carlyle has run?” Dave asked.

“The Menagerie isn’t always based in New Orleans,” Todd said. 

“I know that,” Dave retorted. “I just hadn’t realized you followed it around.”

Todd looked offended. “I wasn’t following the Menagerie, I was tending my flock, wherever they happened to be.”

“And if you happened to be near a sex shop, that was just a bonus,” Dave said sarcastically.

“Can we get this started?” Todd asked. “The sooner this is over, the sooner I can commence with my redemption story.”

Dave stopped getting out of the SUV to start at the reverend in disbelief. “Redemption story?”

“Yes,” Todd’s voice was almost prim. “My parishioners are a forgiving sort.”

Given that Todd was his ticket into the Menagerie, Dave decided not to antagonize the man any further. He made a mental note, however, to talk to Whittaker later. He knew that Todd was getting a deal because he could get them in, but if Dave had anything to say about it, Todd’s ‘redemption story’ would be less than flattering.

“Remember the plan,” Dave said under his breath as they exited the SUV and approached the warehouse. “Keep it simple.”

As if Dave had to give pointers on lying to a conman.

To his credit, Todd strode to the door without a hint of doubt. Before he could knock, however, the door opened, and a large figure filled it.

“Good evening, Mr. Cory,” Todd greeted the newcomer. “It’s a fine night.”

“Boss wasn’t expecting you, Reverend Todd.” Cory stated, not much welcome in his voice. The closer Dave got to him, the bigger the other man seemed.

“My apologies; I wasn’t sure that I was going to be in New Orleans,” Todd lied glibly. “But if there is any city in this country that could use the good word, it’s this one.” He spread his arms wide, almost as though he were preaching from the pulpit. “And so here I am.”

“Mr. Cory, who’s at our door?” A smoother voice asked from behind the man at the door.

Cory answered without turning around. “It’s Reverend Todd, Boss. And he brought a friend.”

“Well, don’t keep him standing there, let him in,” the second man said. Dave assumed it was Carlyle, since the goon at the door had referred to him as ‘boss.’ 

He didn’t seem happy about it, but Cory let them enter. Dave blinked in surprise as he stepped inside. From the outside the building was a standard warehouse. Industrial. The interior, however, was a different story. The cement floors had been covered with sumptuous rugs and the harsh fluorescent lights had been draped with sheer material, giving the large space a cozier feel. There were a variety of pieces of furniture placed around the large space and many of them had men seated upon them. Men and women moved between the seating areas. Some of them were offering food and drinks, while others didn’t appear to be offering anything at all. Given what he knew about the Menagerie, though, Dave had a feeling that they were offering themselves.

“Kenny, it’s been too long,” Carlyle shook Todd’s hand. “What a pleasant surprise. And you’ve brought us a friend.”

“Yes, this is David Rinaldi,” Todd smoothly introduced Dave. “He runs an international shipping operation. Dave, this is Leland Carlyle. I think you’ll find that the two of you have a lot in common.”

Leland Carlyle was a small man, almost fine-boned. He didn’t look like a cold-hearted bastard who could force people into sexual slavery, but if Dave had learned one thing since working with the FBI it was that evil could wear all kinds of faces. He wasn’t going to make the mistake of underestimating Leland Carlyle just because he looked harmless.

“Really?” Carlyle sounded genuinely interested. “International shipping?”

Dave nodded genially. “It’s a Family business,” he made sure to emphasize ‘family,’ hoping that Carlyle would assume that Dave was talking about the Mafia. “It allows me to indulge in my more hedonistic hobbies.”

Carlyle chuckled. “I’ve found that hedonism is far too underrated. I’m glad to meet a man who isn’t afraid to indulge.” He nodded at Todd. “Our business here comes from word of mouth, so if Kenny thinks you would find pleasure in the services we provide, we’d be happy to have you.”

Apparently Reverend Todd was an even better Menagerie customer than the FBI had been told.

Just then the phone in Todd’s pocket began to ring. “Excuse me.”

Todd walked off a few steps, leaving Dave alone with Carlyle and his thug, Cory. 

“I suppose you must be a connoisseur of warehouses,” Carlyle said. “With your shipping business.”

“Yes,” Dave said simply. He nodded at the surroundings. “I like what you’ve done with the place.”

Now that Dave was looking closer, he could detect the temporary nature of the furnishings. Rugs instead of carpet. Moveable partitions. No doubt the Menagerie could pick up and move with relatively short notice.

“Tell me,” Carlyle’s voice took on a probing tone. Dave was worried for a moment that he’d been made until Carlyle went on. “Your shipping business. . . . do you ever handle live cargo? I’ve been considering an international expansion.”

Dave just bet the little bastard was.

“We’re always looking for new markets,” Dave said, trying to sound vague and yet interested.

“I’m sure once you’ve sampled our wares, you’ll see that coming to an arrangement might be mutually beneficial.” Carlyle suggested.

Dave was careful not to be too enthusiastic. “We’ll see. I have yet to see what kind of merchandise you have to offer.”

Todd chose that moment to come back. “Gentlemen, I’m sorry, I have to leave.”

“Is everything all right?” Carlyle asked.

“One of my flock is having a moral meltdown,” Todd explained. “And since this parishioner is tithes a significant amount, I need to go tend to her conscience personally.” He gave Dave a sad look that Dave half-believed even though he knew it was pretend. “I’m sorry that we have to cut your visit to the Menagerie short.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Carlyle interjected before Dave could say anything. Dave almost smiled. No doubt Carlyle had visions of dollar signs dancing in his head. “Mr. Rinaldi is welcome to stay. In fact, I insist.”

“Go,” Dave told Todd. “I’m a big boy, I don’t need you to hold my hand.”

Todd didn’t have to be told twice. “All right, but I’ll send my driver back for you.”

If Todd headed out a little too quickly, Carlyle didn’t pick up on it. In fact, Todd had only just exited the building before Leland was ushering Dave deeper inside. Dave made a casual look at his watch. From the moment Todd left the warehouse, the clock was ticking. All Dave had to do was stomach Carlyle’s company for another 20 minutes.

“Come, sit down. Let me show you our operation,” 

Carlyle lead them to a seating area. Cory didn’t go back to door duty but instead trailed behind. Maybe that was SOP whenever there was a new customer. Within moments of sitting, Dave had been offered his choice of aged Irish whisky or cognac, as well as a variety of cigars.

“What makes your Menagerie different?” Dave asked. He’d accepted a glass of cognac and took the smallest of sips when he pretended to drink. The taste was smooth; Carlyle was not skimping on the expensive stuff.

“Most of those that deal in the merchandise that I do water down their product with drugs,” Carlyle sounded inordinately proud of his work. “My merchandise is clean; attractive; and, above all else, unique.”

Dave made a show of looking around him. “Unique? I can go into any strip club in the city and find attractive people.”

Carlyle motioned to Cory and when the big man stopped close, whispered in his ear. Cory nodded and walked off. Carlyle turned back to Dave with a smug expression.

“Leaving aside the issue STDs that could be picked up at any strip club in the city, I think you’ll find that my merchandise offers an experience that no one else can touch. Ah, Mr. Cory. Thank you for being so quick.”

Cory was indeed back and he was escorting a woman who looked to be in her mid-40s. She was dressed, as all things, a nun.

“You strike me as a good Catholic boy,” Carlyle made a grand gesture towards the woman. “Meet Sister Mary Margaret, a NILF.” Dave translated that in his head – Nun I’d Like to Fuck. “Just let that bitch try to slap your palm with a ruler and you’ll show her who’s boss.”

Dave swallowed hard. He hoped that Carlyle would take the motion as arousal, but Dave was really swallowing down disgust. 

“Or, if you prefer, Sister Mary Margaret can be your ex-wife and you can make her regret that child support she won,” Carlyle continued. 

“I get the picture,” Dave held up his hand to get Carlyle to stop. “You fulfill kinks.”

Carlyle looked offended. “’Kinks’? You would denigrate my work to mere kinks? What I provide is wish fulfillment.”

Like with Todd earlier, Dave decided not to antagonize the man. In fact, he figured it was good to pretend interest. Maybe Carlyle would actually to admit to something while being recorded. 

“Tell me more.”

Carlyle got up from his seat. “I can do better than that, I’ll show you.”

The next few minutes were excruciating. Dave was shown several young men and women, none of whom would meet his eyes. The tour met Dave’s goal of seeing the lay of the land, but seeing these people being kept as slaves turned Dave’s stomach. 

As they made the rounds, Dave noticed one tall young man standing off to the side. An obvious guard stood next to him and that caught Dave’s attention. The young man was wearing a tight white muscle shirt and equally tight white pants. Neither garment left much to the imagination and Dave noticed a number of tattoos on the man’s arms. For a moment, the young man’s eyes flicked up to meet Dave’s and Dave almost gasped. Not only were the young man’s eyes a clear blue, but they were filled with the most despair that Dave had ever seen. He also saw a distinctive birthmark on the young man’s face.

“Ah, I see you do have an eye for quality,” Carlyle said when he noticed who had caught Dave’s attention. “This one is the piece de la resistance, the pinnacle of the whole collection.”

“What’s his name?” Dave couldn’t think of anything else to ask that wouldn’t give him away.

Carlyle shrugged. “Whatever you want. I’m rather fond of Apollo or Michaelangelo myself. But then I have a fondness for the classics.” He gave Dave an assessing look. “Would you like to try him? Nothing will convince you of the uniqueness and superiority of my product like trying it for yourself. This one is on the house.”

“I, um,” Dave faltered for a moment before saying the first thing that came to his mind. “I’m not even into guys.”

His reply made Carlyle chuckle. “Well, then punish him for it. He could be the jock that tormented you in school or every twink that shook his ass at you or even the roommate who stole your girlfriend in college. It doesn’t matter. The thing is, he won’t give you anything, you’ll have to take it.”

“What do you mean?” Dave asked, although the sick feeling in his stomach told him that he probably had figured it out.

“This one needs to be raped,” Carlyle circled the young man. “Every. Single. Time.”

While Dave was watching, the young man shuddered, and Dave knew then and there that he couldn’t let the situation continue. He glanced down at his watch. Five minutes. Later, he figured he’d tell Prentiss that he was just trying to get the SWAT guys as much footage of the warehouse as possible.

“Do you see something you like?” Carlyle asked.

“Every single time?” Dave asked.

“Yes, but don’t let me tell you,” Carlyle said. “Let him show you.”

Dave didn’t trust himself to speak, so he just nodded. He felt every second tick by as Carlyle gestured for the guard to bring the young man and follow them down a corridor. Dave turned his whole body so much as they walked, trying to get everything caught on camera, that he felt like a tourist rubbernecking while visiting New York for the first time.

They didn’t go far before Carlyle turned off into a side room. This one was not built with partitions; it had solid walls. It had a huge bed that must have been custom built, not just because of the size but because of the restraints built into it. Dave also noticed a large eye-ring embedded in the floor, with restraints attached to it. The last item he saw was a sex sling of a size to fit the young man with the sad blue eyes.

“How restrained to you want him?” Carlyle asked.

“Excuse me?” Dave couldn’t help the way his voice rose with confusion.

His reaction caused Carlyle to smile. “Remember, he doesn’t want to be here and will fight you.” He eyed Dave. “You look like you can handle yourself, so you probably won’t need the sling, but I’d recommend restraining him to the bed. He can be quite a handful.”

“I don’t need him restrained,” Dave stated.

Carlyle shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I insist on at least one restraint. It’s not that I doubt your abilities; I’m just more familiar than you are on how desperate he can be.”

Dave swallowed bile again. “Fine. The minimal restraints.”

He was forced to watch as the young man was prodded to the middle of the room and restraints were attached from each wrist to the eye-ring in the floor. Once that was accomplished, Cory and the other guard backed out of the room.

“If he gives you any trouble,” Carlyle instructed. “Well, any trouble you can’t handle, say abracadabra and staff will come in.”

Dave lifted one eyebrow archly. “You’re taping.”

“We’re monitoring,” Carlyle corrected him. “And just with this one. Not all of our customers are as capable as you are. The room has smart technology, you say the safe word and an alarm will be triggered.”

“But you’re not taping?” Dave asked again. If he was really who he was pretending to be, then blackmail would be a real concern.

“No, not at all,” Carlyle assured him. “Trust me, Mr. Rinaldi, the Menagerie would not be as successful as it is if we were indiscreet.”

Dave didn’t believe him for a minute. Maybe Carlyle wasn’t actively blackmailing anyone, but someone as clever as Carlyle would have a backup plan. Internally, Dave crowed at the idea. If Carlyle was taping, then they would have the kind of proof that was irrefutable.

“I’ll trust you,” Dave pretended to be reluctant when he answered. “For now.”

Carlyle smiled. “It’ll be worth your while, I assure you. Now have fun. I will ask that you not damage his face and you’ll find a variety of condoms in the basket next to the bed. We’re meticulous about that.”

“Good,” Dave strained not to check the time on his watch again. He didn’t know why, but he wanted this particular young man as safe as possible when the SWAT team came in. “Now leave.”

Chuckling again, Carlyle obeyed and closed the door behind him. After he did, Dave dared a glance at his watch again. He had about a minute. He turned to the young man and found himself being watched with a wary gaze. Dave put his finger over his lips in the universal sign for silence. 

Dave cast his eyes around the room again and this time spotted a chair off to the side. It was facing the bed and Dave could only imagine why it was there. Well, it didn’t matter. He’d put it to good use this time.

Moving quickly, Dave grabbed the chair and took it to the door, shoving it under the doorknob. It was a crude, but affective way to prevent anyone from coming in.

“Are there any other doors?” Dave asked.

The young man just started at him blankly and then flinched when a loud banging came on the door.

“Mr. Rinaldi, is everything all right?” The voice wasn’t Carlyle’s. It didn’t matter, Dave ignored it.

“Don’t worry,” Dave assured the young man. “They’re going to have more to worry about than us in about,” he looked at his watch, “30 seconds.”

The young man shivered, and Dave moved towards him. As he did, the young man flinched back, and Dave felt awful for having to have played along with Carlyle as long as he had. 

“Hey, you cold?” Dave asked. The young man didn’t answer, but Dave shrugged off his suit coat anyway. “Here, you can have this.”

His offering was also ignored, but moving slowly, Dave approached and draped it across the young man’s shoulders. As he got closer, Dave could see bruising going from the top of the trafficked man’s arms to his shoulders. What hell had this kid been through? Dave felt awful for not undoing the restraints, but they’d have to stay on a few minutes more. There was too big a possibility that the kid would panic and run, ending up in the middle of the action.

There was a large series of bangs and the noise right outside the door to their room ceased. Dave could hear strident shouts of “FBI!” and “Lay down your weapons!” in the distance. Clark and his crew had arrived.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Dave said gently as he noticed the young man’s shivering increased. “My name is David Rossi, I’m with the FBI. You’re safe now. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”

His reassurances didn’t seem to help much. The young man stared at the door as though dreading who might come through it. Dave kept up his words, though, hoping his tone, if nothing else, was getting through.

“Rossi, you in there?” Clark’s voice came from outside their room.

“Yeah and I have a victim with me,” Dave said. The last thing he wanted was for the SWAT commander to assume that Dave was being threatened.

“Understood,” Clark responded. “Now you want to let us in before Prentiss breaks it down?”

“It’s going to be okay,” Dave assured the young man, “He’s one of the good guys. We’re going to get you out of here now. You’re safe.”

Dave used careful movements as he approached the door and removed the chair. He opened it to reveal Prentiss and JJ, along with Clark, on the other side.

“Is anyone resisting arrest?” Dave asked. For all the buildup, the raid itself had gone very quickly.

“No, more’s the pity,” Clark was clearly disappointed. “If anybody needed to be shot, it’s the bastards who came up with this place.”

“Rein it in, Clark,” Prentiss snapped. Dave assumed that she’d gotten a good look at the young man in the room with Dave.

“We need to get these restraints off,’ Dave turned to the young man again. Those blue eyes were cast down to the look at the floor and the shaking of his body became more pronounced as Dave approached. Dave sighed. There was a better way to do this.

“JJ?” Dave suggested. A woman might not be as threatening to someone who’d been through as much as this young man had been. 

He didn’t need to explain. JJ stepped forward and smiled gently at the young man. “I’ve got this. Dave, Clark’ll need you to help sort out who’s who out there.”

Dave was reluctant to leave the room, but he knew the nameless young man was in good hands. Dave went out to the main room and found that Clark’s team had been joined by Whittaker’s and they had the people divided. All of the men were on their bellies on the floor. The women, while being guarded, were seated on some of the furniture. Dave, based on his few minutes in the warehouse, started helping Clark and his team determine which of the men were traffickers, which were customers, and which were likely victims.

There was one trafficker that Dave was particularly satisfied to identify.

“That’s Leland Carlyle,” Dave told Clark when the SWAT commander brought the Menagerie’s mastermind to Dave’s attention. “At least that’s what he’s calling himself.”

Carlyle glared at him. “All of the people here are consenting adults.”

“Yeah, right,” Dave retorted. “Tell that to the kid you shackled up for me. What was it you said, that it was rape every time?”

Whittaker grinned. “We got that on tape.”

“Have you ever heard of a sexual fantasy?” Carlyle’s glared turned to the female FBI agent. “No, I suppose a cold bitch like you wouldn’t.”

“From you, I’ll take that as a compliment,” Whittaker’s grin got bigger. “Now come on, we’ve got some shackles of your own waiting.”

After Whittaker hauled off Carlyle, Dave was kept busy working with both FBI teams. Before he knew it, an hour had gone by. Dave hadn’t even noticed when those who were rescued were taken away.

“Good work, Rossi,” Prentiss complimented him. They stood outside the warehouse and both looked on in satisfaction as several vans drove off filled with prisoners.

Dave acknowledged her compliment with an absent nod and then sighed. “This one is going to stick with me for a while.”

She patted him on the arm. “If it helps, we rescued 21 people tonight.”

“That is good news,” Dave gave her a tired smile. “What happens to them now?”

“Whittaker made arrangements with a local hospital,” Prentiss told him. “Grace Mercy has a birthing center that’s not due to open for another week. It has private rooms that are bigger than the average hospital room and that look less like a hospital room. I saw some of the victims, they’re pretty traumatized.”

Dave thought of the young man with the sad eyes. “Are we taking their statements yet?”

Prentiss shrugged. “The med team is looking them over first. I’m guessing it might be a few days before any of them are recovered enough to talk.” 

“I have someone I want to talk to,” Dave informed Prentiss. 

She nodded. “I thought you might. Go. I’ll stay on scene.”

“JJ?” Dave asked.

“She’s already at the hospital.”

Dave got one of Whittaker’s team to drive him to the hospital. He was pleased to see guards in front of the birthing center that they’d taken over. Hopefully they’d nabbed all of the Menagerie’s people, but these victims had endured enough. It was good that the FBI wasn’t taking any chances.

JJ approached Dave as soon as he got into the birthing center and he lost no time in asking about his young friend.

“Did he tell you his name?” Dave asked.

“No,” JJ sighed. “He hasn’t said a single thing. The doctor is with him now.”

Dave wandered around the ward, always keeping an eye on the room the blue-eyed young man was reportedly in. Most of the doors were closed, but Dave could hear the faint sounds of weeping. The few rooms that he could look into as he passed had young people in them that all had shellshocked expressions on their faces. 

Finally the doctor Dave was waiting for came out of the young man’s room and Dave strode over to talk to her.

“How is he?” Dave nodded at the room the doctor had just left. 

“Physically he’s in pretty good shape,” the doctor told him, having been briefed that the FBI needed to be informed of the patients’ conditions. “He’s underweight and there are a number of contusions, but nothing too severe. Emotionally, on the other hand. . . . he appears to be deeply traumatized.”

“Has he said anything?”

The doctor shook her head. “No, not a sound. His throat tissue is red and irritated and I’m guessing that is due to repeated oral penetration. It’s not significant enough, however, to keep him from speaking. There’s also some odd scars in his mouth, but I didn’t push examining those too closely. Not until he’s feeling a lot more secure.” 

She gave Dave a wan smile and Dave figured he wouldn’t be the only one having nightmares that night.

“Can I see him?” Dave asked. He had no intention of trying to get a statement, but he wanted to see with his own eyes that the young man was okay.

“You can go in, but I gave him a mild sedative,” the doctor said. “If he’s able to get any rest, I ask that you not disturb it.”

“Of course,” Dave promised. “Trust me, I saw up close and personal what these people went through. I’m not about to add to the burden they already have.”

“Good,” the doctor looked down at her clipboard. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve another patient to see to.”

Dave watched her walk away and then went to the door of the young man’s room. He carefully let himself in and saw that the young man’s eyes were closed. Dave walked further in and the patient didn’t stir; the sedative must be working. There was an IV hooked up to his arm, but otherwise no other medical equipment appeared to be used. Feeling intrusive, Dave fished out his phone and took a few pictures. Some were of the young man’s face and others were of the tattoos that Dave could see. Just as quietly, Dave left.

As soon as Dave was back in the corridor, he called Garcia. Her cheerful voice, when she answered, was a welcome contrast to the dark thoughts Dave had been having.

“Yes, Oh Mighty Italian One?”

“Garcia, I need your help identifying someone,” Dave told her. “I just sent you some photos. It’s one of our vics. Poor kid is too traumatized to even tell us his name. Some family out there is missing him, and I’d sure like to get him home.”

“On it,” Garcia assured him. “I’ll call you back in five.”

While he waited, Dave compared notes with JJ. None of the victims rescued were emotionally stable enough to give statements. Dave didn’t blame them, but he knew they eventually would need the vics to talk in order to nail Carlyle with as many charges as possible. Prentiss arrived while they were chatting.

“How goes it?” Prentiss asked.

“The victims are getting the treatment they need,” Dave said. “But I foresee a lot of therapy in their future.”

“Understandable,” Prentiss’ face was full of compassion. “I can’t imagine what they went through.”

Having been in that room with the sex swing and restraints, Dave could imagine it all to well. He shook himself mentally, reminding himself that whatever had happened in that room, it would never happen again.

Dave’s phone rang and he had it up to his ear before the second ring. “What took you so long, Garcia? He has a birthmark and tattoos, that should have made it easy.”

“He’s dead.” Gone was Garcia’s cheerful tone. 

“No, he’s not,” Dave protested. “I just came out of his hospital room.”

“His name is Evan Buckley,” Garcia’s voice was very small. “He was a LA fire fighter and he went missing during the tsunami they had nine months back. There was a memorial service and everything. His family thinks he’s dead.”

Dave felt sick to his stomach. This kid didn’t just have a family that was missing him; he had a family that was mourning him. “Garcia, can you send me the information? Photos? Articles? Whatever you have.”

“Already done,” Garcia told him. “Now I’m gonna go look at kitty pictures for a while. And unicorns. Maybe kitty unicorns.”

“Thanks, Garcia.” Dave was almost absentminded when he signed off with her. Instead, he was looking through the photos that she’d sent. He stopped on what looked like an identification photo. The young man was obviously the same one that Dave had met, but in the photo, he had a huge grin on his face and almost seemed to radiate his own source of light. It was a difference more profound than night and day.

“Oh, god,” JJ murmured as she saw the photo. She’s also spent time with the young man – Evan, Dave reminded himself – and knew how big of a difference there was.

“That explains some things,” Prentiss added. “Like how they had so many victims; no one was looking for them.”

“Just because one was kidnapped during the tsunami, doesn’t mean they all were.” Dave pointed out.

“We should notify his family,” JJ suggested. “They’ll want to know.”

“Let’s hold on that for now,” Dave instructed.

“Why?” JJ protested. “They’ve thought he was dead for nine months; his family deserves to know that Evan Buckley is alive.”

“Evan Buckley deserves to make that decision,” Dave countered. “Poor kid hasn’t been able to make decisions about anything, including his own body, for months. He gets to choose about this.”

“Agreed,” Prentiss said. “JJ, let the med team know we have a name but are going to hold off notifying the family. I’ll let Whittaker know about this new development. If they grabbed Buckley during the tsunami, they’re far more organized than any trafficking operation we’ve come across before.”

The three FBI agents split up, JJ to find a nurse and Prentiss to make a phone call. After glancing over the materials that Garcia had sent, Dave headed back to Evan’s room. About an hour had gone by since Dave had last checked on him and this time, Evan was awake.

“Hey there, remember me?” Dave said softly as he came into the room.

Evan nodded his head, ever so slightly.

“Good.” Dave sat down on the chair next to the bed. He was aware that the closer he got, the stiffer Evan’s body got with tension. Dave was sure to keep his movements slow and careful. “Can you tell me your name?”

This time Evan shook his head, although the movement was again slight.

“How about I tell you?” Dave said and went on before Evan could react. “Your name is Evan Buckley. You were grabbed nine months ago in Los Angeles. You survived a tsunami.”

Evan’s blue eyes filled up with tears and he started shaking his head.

“Your family thinks you’re dead, Evan,” Dave continued to be as gentle as he was capable of. “They are going to be very happy to learn that you’re alive.”

The head shaking became almost frantic as tears rand own Evan’s face.

“Nothing that happened to you is your fault, Evan,” Dave assured him. “I’m sure your family will feel the same way. Wouldn’t you like to see them?” 

Evan pulled his legs up to his chest and hid his face in his arms.

Dave sighed. This was going about as well as he was afraid it would. He got his phone out and thumbed through the materials that Garcia had sent. When he found the picture he wanted, he turned the phone so that Evan could see it.

“This is from a memorial service they had for you,” Dave told him. “That’s your sister, isn’t it? That’s the face of a woman in a lot of pain.”

First there was the barest peek of blue as Evan lifted his head from his knees just enough to glance at Dave. Then as Even caught sight of his sister in the photo, he lifted his head completely and hesitantly reached for the phone. Dave gladly gave it over.

Evan touched the phone’s screen with a shaking finger. Dave didn’t have a word to describe the expression on the young man’s face, but part of it was despair and part was longing.

“We can call her if you want.” Dave encouraged Evan. “We can call her right now.”

His suggestion had the opposite effect than what Dave was going for. Evan shook his head frantically again and shoved the phone back at Dave. His breathing was labored, and Dave was glad that there wasn’t any monitoring equipment attached to Evan. If there had been, then no doubt the room would be flooded with nurses asking what the hell he was doing to their patient.

As much as Dave thought that Evan would benefit from having his sister with him, he couldn’t continue with what was clearly torture for the younger man.

“All right, all right,” Dave soothed. “We won’t contact your sister. Not until you say it’s okay.”

It took a few moments for Evan’s breathing to slow. When he did, Dave tried another tactic.

“If we’re not calling your sister, is there anyone else we can contact?” Dave asked. He showed Evan the phone again, this time queued up to a different photo. This one was of Evan’s LAFD’s House. Dave knew that all first responders had a special bond. If family wasn’t an option, then maybe someone from his team would be.

Slowly, finger still shaking, Evan pointed to one person in the photo. Dave took the phone back and looked at, as well as the caption. “Captain Nash? It would be okay if we contacted Captain Nash?”

Evan gave another one of those small, almost imperceptible nods and Dave sighed with relief. 

“Okay, I’ll take care of it. It’s still the middle of the night in California, we’ll reach out to them in the morning.” Dave noticed that Evan’s eyes were starting to droop. Dave knew the feeling; it had been a hell of a day. “Try to get some rest.”

Dave figured that Evan was probably asleep before Dave left the room. JJ and Prentiss were waiting for him.

“How’d it go?” JJ asked.

“He became extremely agitated when I suggested contacting his sister,” Dave told them. “I’m guessing there are issues of shame there or maybe he wants to protect her.”

“Sadly, that’s not unusual,” Prentiss commented. “Even when the survivor has nothing to be ashamed of.”

They all knew it was true, so Dave didn’t add to her statement. Instead, he moved on to the more positive part of his conversation. “He did agree that we could contact his LAFD captain, Robert Nash.”

JJ reached for her phone. “I’ll get his phone number from Garcia.”

Dave shook his head. “I don’t think a phone call will do it.” He looked at Prentiss. “Who do we have out in California that we could send to tell Nash in person?”

“Good thought,” Prentiss said. “I’ll make arrangements first thing in the morning.” She covered her mouth with a hand as she yawned widely. “We’ve done all we can here tonight. Let’s go back to the hotel and start fresh tomorrow.”

The three headed for the exit. Dave knew that Captain Robert Nash was in for the surprise of his life the next morning. It was just too bad that not all of the news they’d be giving him would be good.


	7. Chapter 7

Bobby hummed as he cleaned up the kitchen. It had been a good day. The kids had a long weekend and had just left to spend it with their father. Bobby and Athena both had the day off, so they’d made an early family dinner before Harry and May left. The kids would be gone for five days and the house seemed oddly quiet without them.

“That’s nice,” Athena moved up behind Bobby and wrapped her arms around him.

“What?” Bobby asked, stilling his movement in order to savor the moment.

“The humming.” She explained, leaning up to kiss his shoulder blade. Bobby felt the heat of her lips through the thin woven fabric of his shirt. “I missed it. Seems like forever since you felt good enough to do that.”

It hadn’t been forever; it had been nine months. Bobby was glad he was facing away from Athena and that she didn’t see him grimace at the reminder. It had been nine months since Buck died and now that his wife had pointed out that Bobby had been humming while he worked, he realized that the song had been Springsteen’s “Glory Days.”

“What?” His all-too-perceptive wife had felt Bobby stiffen. Athena knew something was off even if she couldn’t see his face. “Bobby?”

Bobby turned around reluctantly. “It’s just that the song was Springsteen and I- . . .” He shrugged. “It reminded me of Buck.”

Athena moved her hands up to cup Bobby’s face. “You do know that you did everything for that boy that could be done.”

It wasn’t exactly a question, not at this point. Bobby and Athena had done variations of this conversation before.

“I know.”

It wasn’t a lie; intellectually, Bobby knew that was true. He’d kept the 118 team out searching for Buck until they were all ready to drop – and then they’d searched some more. Those first days were the worst because they’d had hope. Even Bobby had halfway expected to come across Buck perched on some ridiculous piece of debris, that wide grin on his face and demanding to know what took them so long. Of course, that hadn’t happened.

When Maddie was ready to have a memorial service, Bobby had gone to bat for Buck again, convincing the LAFD to allow the full display that was conducted when a firefighter fell in the line of duty. It hadn’t taken much convincing. Technically Buck had been on disability leave when the tsunami happened, but when over a dozen people came forward and recounted how Buck had helped save them, it had leant strength to Bobby’s entreaty and the LAFD had agreed to it, There had been dozens of ladder trucks in the procession and hundreds of members of the public had lined the streets to watch. Buck would have been so proud.

“I miss him too,” Athena said softly. “Most of the time I didn’t know whether to hug Buck or slap him upside the head. . .”

“Or both,” Bobby interjected.

“Or both,” Athena added, with a smile. “But I do miss him.” She sighed and pillowed her head on Bobby’s chest. “That reminds me, I haven’t seen Maddie for a couple of days. I need to visit.”

“I think she’d like that,” Bobby said. “Maybe I’ll go with you. Chim says she’s doing well, all things considered.”

“Maddie’s a strong woman.” That was high praise, coming from the strongest woman that Bobby had ever met. He was still amazed that Athena found him worthy enough to love.

When Bobby’s first wife and children had died, he’d closed himself off for a long time. Buck, though, had wormed his way past the emotional defenses Bobby had put up. Chim and Hen had too, but Buck had been the most effective. Nothing could hurt as much as the deaths of Marcy and the kids. Losing Buck didn’t match that level of pain, but it came closer than Bobby ever imagined that anything could. He didn’t wish for his walls to be back up, though. If Buck and the others hadn’t breached them so successfully, then Bobby wouldn’t have had the courage to love Athena and not having her was something that Bobby didn’t want to contemplate.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Athena asked.

Before their conversation could progress, the sound of the doorbell interrupted them.

Athena lifted her head and stepped back from Bobby’s loose embrace. “You expecting anybody?”

“No,” Bobby answered, already on his way to the door. “I’m not.”

Bobby wracked his brain thinking of who their unexpected visitor might be. After the tsunami, it hadn’t been uncommon for members of the team to drop by, either to reach out for help with their grief or to make sure that Bobby was dealing with his own. Hen, in particularly, knew how difficult it was for Bobby to ask for help. Those visits had dwindled as the months went by. As impossible as it had seemed in the beginning, the Buck-shaped hole in their hearts was on the way to healing.

When he opened the door, Bobby didn’t recognize the two people standing there. One was a man and the other a woman. They were both dressed in nondescript business suits and had matching blank expressions on their faces. Bobby figured they were either religious solicitors or FBI.

“Are you Robert Nash?” The woman asked. She looked to be Athena’s age and had shoulder-length hair that was a dark brown that was nearly black.

“I am,” Bobby answered. He could sense Athena’s presence by his side, although he knew that the visitors wouldn’t know she was there yet. “Who is asking, please?”

“I’m Special Agent Yu and with me is my partner, Special Agent Callahan,” the woman introduced herself and briefly flashed a badge. “We’re with the FBI and we’d like to come in and speak with you. Its rather urgent.”

“Speak about what?” Athena spoke up, stepping in front of Bobby as she did.

“And you’re Mrs. Nash?” The man asked. He was younger than Yu and had carrot-red hair. 

Athena straightened to her full height. She was the shortest one in the group, but as always, didn’t let that intimidate her. “I am Sergeant Athena Grant of the LAPD and, yes, I’m Captain Nash’s wife. I’m not in the habit of repeating myself, but since you’re with the FBI, I’ll make an exception. It’s been my experience that sometimes the Feds need to hear things twice. What do you want to speak to my husband about?”

Luckily for Callahan, his partner stepped in.

“Like I said, it’s urgent,” Yu stated, her expression gentling into something a little more compassionate. “And it’s probably not something you want to talk about out here. Please, can we come in and talk?”

Athena shot Bobby a quick look over her shoulder and at his slight nod, stepped aside so the FBI agents could come in. Bobby led the way to the living room and gestured for the agents to sit. After they did, he took a seat on the couch and Athena positioned herself right next to him. Bobby wasn’t sure what the FBI wanted with him but was reassured by the warmth of Athena’s thigh as it pressed into his own.

“What’s this all about?” Bobby asked.

Callahan answered. “We’re here about Evan Buckley.”

“Buck?” Bobby sat up straighter in his seat and was glad of Athena’s supportive hand on his arm. “You must know that he died nine months ago.”

“Has someone tried to use his identity?” Athena asked. “You’d be surprised at the number of lowlifes that try to take advantage of tragedy.”

“No, it’s not that at all.” Yu carried a very large purse and Bobby soon realized why when she reached in and pulled out a manila folder. “I think in this case a picture really is worth a thousand words.”

Bobby took the folder when she handed it to him and, after shooting another glance at Athena, opened it.

The face of Evan Buckley stared back at him.

Next to him, Bobby heard Athena’s audible gasp but for once didn’t pay attention to his wife’s distress. Bobby’s attention was entirely taken by the photo. Buck’s face was thinner than Bobby had ever seen, and his hair was longer. Most disturbing, though, was the expression of utter despair in Buck’s eyes. Bobby had never seen that depth of emotion in the younger man, not even when Bobby had told him that the embolism had delayed Buck’s return to the LAFD.

“When was this picture taken?” Bobby managed to say. Each word was a struggle.

“Last night,” Yu replied. “Or, rather, early this morning.”

“Where?” Athena stuttered. “How?”

The two FBI agents exchanged glances and Callahan took the lead. “Maybe we should start at the beginning. . .”

“No,” Bobby disagreed. “First you confirm that Evan Buckley is alive.” He desperately needed to hear it out loud.

“He’s alive,” Yu said gently. “I can’t imagine what kind of shock that is for you, but Evan Buckley is most definitely alive.”

Bobby felt bile rise in his throat. “Excuse me.”

After launching himself from the sofa, Bobby bolted to the bathroom. He barely made it to the toilet before vomiting. The dinner that he and Athena had prepared for their family didn’t taste nearly as good the second time. That barely registered with Bobby, however.

Evan Buckley was alive – and Bobby had just been reminiscing about how nice his funeral had been. From his expression in the photo, Buck had needed Bobby, perhaps desperately, and Bobby had given up on him. Everyone had given up on him.

“Bobby?” Athena crouched next to him. “Baby?”

She didn’t ask if Bobby was okay and for that small mercy, Bobby was grateful.

“I left him,” Bobby gasped when the retching stopped. “Buck was alive all along and I gave up on him and left him out there.”

“Not alone you didn’t, we all thought - . . . “

“But I’m his captain,” Bobby ruthlessly cut her off. “Of all people, I should have been the last one . . . – “

“You stop that line of thinking right now,” Athena used a tone of voice that her children and a number of criminals were all too familiar with, but that had rarely been turned on Bobby. “We don’t even have the whole story yet.”

She had a point. Not about Bobby’s thinking, but about needing the whole story. Bobby told his stomach to settle down and got up. “Let’s go hear what they have to say.”

Bobby took a quick minute to rinse his mouth out and then, holding hands, the two returned to the living room. Callahan looked uncomfortable, but Yu’s face was full of compassion.

“Explain,” Bobby said. “I want to know everything.”

“Evan Buckley was rescued last night in New Orleans,” Callahan started off the story again. “He was discovered during an FBI raid on a sex trafficking operation.”

Bobby felt his stomach roil again. “Sex trafficking?”

Yu took up the narrative. “I’m sorry, but you heard correctly. We don’t have all the details from the agents in the field, but they did stress that Mr. Buckley was not there of his free will.”

Athena had her arm around Bobby’s shoulders. “How did Buck get there?”

“The assumption is that the traffickers took advantage of the mass confusion caused by the tsunami,” Callahan said. “The details are still unknown at this point.”

“Buck didn’t say?” Bobby asked.

“From what the field agents have reported, Mr. Buckley is completely nonverbal at this point,” Yu replied. “His physical condition is fairly good, so the assumption is that it’s a reaction to the trauma. The others that were rescued from the same trafficking operation have also been traumatized; it will likely be some time before all the details are known.”

“I can’t imagine Buck not talking,” Athena’s bark of laughter was choked with tears. “What the hell am I saying? This whole situation is unimaginable.”

“When can we see him?” Bobby asked. He picked the photo up again and stared at it, looking for any hint of the cheerful young man that he knew.

“As soon as possible,” Yu told them. “The hope is that having someone with him that he trusts will help Mr. Buckley realize he’s safe.”

“And he can provide answers to the questions that we have about this operation,” Callahan added. 

Yu glared at her partner. “But mostly so that Mr. Buckley feels safe.” She turned back to Bobby. “There’s a 5:20 flight out. If you’re willing to go, we can make sure you’re on it.”

Bobby glanced at his watch. That didn’t give him much time, but then again, Buck was alive. What was a little inconvenience compared to that miracle?

“Wait a minute,” Athena held up her hand. “What about Buck’s sister, Maddie? Have you told her yet?”

The agents exchanged glances before Callahan answered. “No. We were told that Mr. Buckley grew very agitated when the offer was made to contact his sister.”

“He did identify you, Captain Nash, as someone he wanted to see,” Yu added. 

“So Maddie doesn’t know,” Athena said slowly.

“Mr. Buckley is over 18 and we can’t notify the family if it’s against his wishes,” Yu explained. “We came to you because Mr. Buckley approved it, however unconventionally he conveyed his preference.”

“But we can’t control who you tell,” Callahan stated. When Yu glared at him again, he shrugged. “What? We can’t.”

“I’m sorry to rush you, but if you want on that flight, we really need to get started,” Yu told them. “I think you’ll want to pack for at least a couple of days.”

That was all Bobby needed to hear. “Come on,” he carefully put the photo down, got up and held his hand out for Athena. “Help me pack.”

After excusing themselves from the FBI agents, the two hurried to their bedroom. As soon as they were through the door, Bobby pulled Athena in for a desperate embrace. Athena let out a little huff of air as Bobby hugged her tightly, but then squeezed him back just as firmly.

“He’s alive,” Bobby repeated. He let Athena go, although he kept a grip on her hands. “Tell me I’m not dreaming.”

“I heard it too,” Athena assured him. An expression of resolve came over her face as though she’d made a quick decision. “I’m going with you – and we need to call Maddie.”

Bobby grimaced. “You can’t.”

Athena arched an eyebrow at him. “Can’t? Which one are you talking about?”

“Both,” Bobby took a deep breath, girding himself for a debate. He pulled his duffle bag out of the closet as he started to talk. “You can’t come with me because I need someone I can relay information to and you can’t tell Maddie.”

“Don’t tell me that you’re believing that hogwash about Buck not wanting to see Maddie?” Athena protested. While Bobby grabbed clothes out of the closet, she was getting undergarments and pajamas out for him from the dresser. “You know the kind of pain she’s been in, even one more minute of it is one minute too long. Buck’ll take one look at her and change his mind.”

“From what they said, Buck is a rape victim,” Bobby pointed out. “As a cop, you know better than I do that rape is all about control. Specifically, the lack of control the victim has. It’s not fair to Buck to second guess his choice.”

Athena opened her mouth but closed it just as quickly. When she did speak, it was grudgingly. “I see your point, but Buck not wanting to see her and us not telling her are two entirely different things.”

“Yet,” Bobby pointed out. “I’m not suggesting we don’t tell her at all, I’m just saying I don’t think we should tell her yet. What do you think is better for Maddie, getting a vague report on Buck’s condition from people who don’t know him or details from someone who does?”

“I still think I should come with you.” When Athena didn’t reproach his reasoning, Bobby knew he’d won the point about telling Maddie. “I know Buck didn’t ask for me, but I wouldn’t be going for him. I’d be going to support you.”

Bobby stopped stuffing his duffle long enough to kiss her. He then went to the attached bathroom and started gathering toiletries. “I know that and appreciate it, but Maddie’s going to need your support more.”

“Maddie has Chim and Josh and lots of other people,” Athena pointed out.

Bobby gave her a knowing look. “And how many of them can stop her from hopping on a plane the minute she gets the news? You know that would be a bad idea and not just because of what Buck wants.”

Athena crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. “The woman is pregnant, not incapacitated.”

“She’s pregnant with twins,” Bobby countered. “And Chim told me that her doctor is considering putting her on bedrest. We can’t stop the emotional rollercoaster this news is going to bring, but we can break it as gently as possible.”

“All right, I’ll stay here,” Athena relented. “But I want constant communication, you hear me?”

Keeping his sobriety in the wake of Buck’s death had been hard and Bobby’s success had as much to do with Athena as it did Bobby’s own determination. Maddie wasn’t the only one who would be riding the emotional rollercoaster. They all would, to a greater or less extent, and Bobby couldn’t blame his wife for wanting to be there for him.

“I hear you,” Bobby answered softly. “Come here.”

“And I’m telling Maddie tomorrow, so you better have more information for me,” Athena told him as she settled into his arms. “The team too.”

Bobby nodded. “Understood.”

The two embraced again, a much gentler hug than it had been when they came into the room. This time, it was Athena who pulled away first.

“Wait a minute, I almost forgot.” Athena went back to the closet, wiping her eyes as she did. 

The walk-in closet was relatively neat, but it did have some items stacked up. Athena went to one pile and dug down to the bottom. When she came back, she was holding a gray hoodie in her hands. From the size of it, it could only have been meant for one person.

“I ordered this for him before,” Athena explained, her skin darkening with a blush. She didn’t have to explain who she was referring to or when ‘before’ was. “Was going to give it to him for Christmas. Afterwards, I just couldn’t stand the thought of giving it away.”

Athena handed Bobby the hoodie and he took a closer look at it. On the front the hoodie were the words “Property of the LAFD” and on the back it had “Buckley.”

“Buck will love it,” Bobby told her. He almost reverently added the garment to his duffle. “I think I’m ready.”

Shaking her head, Athena took Bobby’s hand. “I’m not sure you are, Bobby. Traffickers, they really do a number on people. Our FBI friends skimmed over it, but the truth is that Buck’s likely been addicted to something. It’s the most common way for traffickers to control their victims.”

Bobby nodded. That possibility had occurred to him too. “I know something about addiction.”

“I know you do, Bobby, but this is going to be so much worse than anything you’ve come across before.” Athena looked torn. “Maybe I should come with you.”

“I’ll be fine,” Bobby assured her. “I need you here to keep the lines of communication open and to spearhead any practical matters that need to happen before Buck can come home.” At her confused look, Bobby explained. “Buck doesn’t have anywhere to live, all of his clothes are boxed up, he doesn’t have any official papers.” Bobby firmed his resolve. “Come hell or high water, I’m bringing Buck home with me, but there will need to be a home for him to come to.”

Athena took a deep breath and nodded. “Just remember I’m only a phone call away, all right?”

Bobby hugged her again. “I promise.”

They broke apart, but Bobby kept hold of Athena’s hand as they made their way back to the living room. The FBI agents stood as soon as they saw the couple.

“We need to get moving, Captain Nash,” Yu sounded apologetic. “As it is, the flight won’t get you to New Orleans before midnight. If you miss it, you may not get there until morning.”

“Let’s go,” Bobby gestured for the FBI agents to proceed him. He turned back to Athena. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“You better.”

They’d already said their goodbyes in the bedroom, so without any additional fanfare, Bobby followed the FBI agents. Athena stayed in the doorway and watched as he got in their SUV. Bobby hated leaving her like that. As much as Athena fussed about Buck, he knew she loved the young man too. He didn’t like her having to deal with the momentous news on her own, but she was strong, she no doubt would handle it better than he would.

Bobby tried to ask Yu and Callahan for details on the way to the airport, but it was no use. They didn’t know anything in addition to what they’d already told him. That was frustrating, although Bobby had to admit that he was glad that the FBI had sent someone to deliver the news in person. He wasn’t sure he would have believed it otherwise.

Callahan drove and he used the flashing lights to get them there fast. Once at the airport, they’d waited while Bobby checked in and paid for his ticket, then worked with the TSA to get Bobby through the security line as fast as possible. Sooner than he thought possible, Bobby was seated on an airplane headed towards New Orleans. He looked down at his watch; he’d found out that Buck was alive less than two hours ago.

He hoped Athena never figured it out, but Bobby missed her keenly on the flight. Even though he was surrounded by people, Bobby was still alone with his thoughts. The more Bobby thought about sex trafficking and what Buck might have endured, the more unpleasant those thoughts became. It took all Bobby had not to order booze when the flight attendants came around. He stuck with a club soda, but it was a close call.

By the time the flight landed it was midnight and Bobby’s nerves were shot. He texted Athena after he got off the plane and got a reminder from her to call if he needed her. He smiled fondly at the phone as though his wife were right there. He had a feeling that neither of them would be getting a wink of sleep that night.

Bobby didn’t have a checked bag to wait for, so he immediately headed for the exit. As he did, he noticed a man about his age lingering by the door. The man had silver hair and goatee, was wearing a suit that probably cost more than Bobby made in two months, and he was looking right at Bobby.

“Captain Nash?” 

Somehow not surprised, Bobby approached the other man. “Yes?”

“I’m Special Agent Rossi of the FBI,” the man introduced himself. “And I owe you an apology.”

“Excuse me?”

“You were supposed to be notified about Evan Buckley this morning,” Rossi glanced at his watch. “I guess I should say yesterday morning. Telling you that your firefighter is alive and then throwing you immediately on an airplane wasn’t how I wanted this scenario to work out. Unfortunately, the LA office had a big operation going down and couldn’t get anyone out to you earlier.”

The most that Bobby could do to acknowledge the apology was nod his head; there was something a lot more important on his mind. “How’s Buck?”

“Buck?”

Bobby could almost visibly see Rossi connecting the nickname of Buck to Evan Buckley. Bobby didn’t need to explain before Rossi answered the question.

“He’s about the same,” Rossi started walking and Bobby followed. “Emotionally shut down. For the most part he cooperates with anything we ask of him, but he won’t talk or eat.”

“I want to see him.” It wasn’t a question and Rossi didn’t treat it as one.

“Of course, but he’s sleeping now,” Rossi glanced at Bobby. “I don’t suppose I could talk you in to going to a hotel and getting some rest first?”

Bobby let his glare answer for him.

Rossi shook his head, chuckling softly. “I didn’t think so.”

They’d reached a black SUV parked at the curb. It was a ridiculously close spot to the exit and Bobby supposed that Rossi had exercised some sort of FBI privilege. Bobby tossed his duffle into the back and climbed into the front passenger’s seat. Rossi started the vehicle and began driving but before Bobby could start grilling him, the FBI agent spoke first.

“Tell me what Evan is like,” Rossi requested. 

The question nonplussed Bobby a little; he wasn’t sure why it was relevant. Still, all he’d been thinking about on the flight was Buck and Bobby found himself eager to talk about the young firefighter.

“Buck is hardheaded, impulsive and too brave for his own good,” Bobby said. “He’s also compassionate, loyal to a fault, and loves helping people.” Bobby struggled with the next description; he remembered all too well the look of despair from the photo. “Buck is . . . exuberant. His smile lights up a room.”

Bobby sighed, wondering if they’d ever see that Buck again. Then it occurred to him why the FBI agent had asked.

“Now that you’ve had me remind myself of what Buck’s usually like,” Bobby said. “Why don’t you tell me more about what he’s like now – and what those bastards did to Buck to make him that way.”

The next half an hour was painful, to say the least. To hear that the young man he’d grieved so hard for had been abused in such a demeaning way was heartbreaking. Oddly enough, Bobby also found himself almost bursting with pride. Buck had survived and that was a testament to the young man’s strength. Recovery was going to be difficult, but Bobby knew he wasn’t the only member of the 118 that would give whatever it took to help Buck heal.

“Like I said, Evan is still nonverbal. When he’s ready, we’re hoping he can tell us more about how he was taken.” Rossi concluded. 

They’d reached Grace Mercy hospital and pulled into the visitor’s parking lot. Given how late it was, there weren’t many cars there.

Bobby pushed down his anger; he was feeling a wide range of emotions but underlying it all was a growing sense of rage. Bobby knew, however, that it wasn’t Agent Rossi he was angry at and biting the man’s head off wouldn’t get him anywhere. “What did they addict him to?

His question took Rossi off guard. “Addicted? What do you mean?”

“Don’t traffickers addict their victims to drugs, to make them more obedient?” Bobby asked. It wasn’t like Athena to steer him wrong.

Rossi turned the SUV off but stayed in his seat and looked off into the distance for a few moments before he answered. “It many cases, yes, but they used a different tactic with Evan.”

Bobby had a sinking feeling. “I don’t want to know, do I?”

“Probably not,” Rossi admitted. “But it makes sense with how you described Evan.”

“Tell me,” Bobby stated. “I may not want to know, but I think I need to know.”

Rossi sighed. “From what we understand they did use some physical intimidation with Evan, but they didn’t want to damage him too badly.” His smile had no humor in it. “Didn’t want to lower his sale value. Some of the others who were rescued said that Evan was controlled mostly by threatening them. If Evan disobeyed, someone else would take the beating – or worse – for it. Apparently, there was one young woman in the beginning who was used as a whipping boy of sorts, but when she disappeared, they were all used at one time or another.”

The FBI agent got out of the SUV, but Bobby sat for a moment. He felt pain in his hands and realized that they were clenched in tight fists. Bobby forced them to relax before getting out of the vehicle and grabbing his duffle. When he next saw Eddie, Bobby would have to apologize to the younger firefighter. He now understood Eddie’s need to release his emotions in illegal street fighting. Bobby felt a growing need to hit something.

“Who were these people anyway?” Bobby asked as they walked into the hospital.

“The mastermind is a man who calls himself Leland Carlyle,” Rossi told him. He walked to a bank of elevators and pushed the up button. “We ran his prints and it turns out his real name is Leonard Chippy. He bragged to some of his customers that he’d graduated from Harvard Business school summa cum laude, but it turns out he flunked out of one of those online for-profit colleges.”

“How does someone go from a bad business student to selling people?” Bobby asked. The elevator had arrived and both men got on.

Rossi shrugged. “We’re still looking into him, but I can tell you one thing for sure, he has Small Man Syndrome. Trafficking might be an extreme way for Chippy to assert control.”

The elevator stopped at a floor and they got out. Bobby noticed the signing and turned to Dave with one eyebrow raised. “Really? A birthing center?”

“It’s not officially open yet. The agent in charge of the raid made the arrangements. It gives the people that were rescued some extra privacy while the hospital gets to have a soft opening to let their staff get used to the ward. It’s a win-win.”

Bobby shook his head. “Unless you’re one of the victims. I’m not sure there’s any win there for them.”

To Bobby’s alarm, there was a guard posted at the door. The man obviously recognized Rossi, because he simply nodded at him. Rossi stopped, though, to introduce Bobby.

“This is Captain Robert Nash,” Rossi explained. “He has full access to the ward, especially Evan Buckley. I’d appreciate it if you’d pass the word.”

The guard looked down at his clipboard. “Yes, sir. Captain Nash is already on the approved list.”

“Excellent,” Rossi nodded as he ushered Bobby inside.

“Please tell me that’s just an overabundance of caution,” Bobby stated. “You caught them all, right?”

For the first time, Rossi looked unsure. “We got Chippy and all of his thugs and customers, but we missed Chippy’s right-hand man.”

Bobby came to a stop. “What? How did that happen?”

“Damned if I know,” Rossi admitted. “He must be a slippery bastard. Don’t worry, we have law enforcement notified and the local media too, although we didn’t exactly tell the media why we’re looking for him. The longer we can keep this under wraps, the better off the victims will be.”

The media. Bobby hadn’t even thought of that angle yet. The media would have a field day with Buck’s story when they found out. A heroic firefighter resurrected from the dead? Bobby shuddered and resolved to think about that later.

Rossi had continued down the corridor and his steps slowed as he reached the end. “Evan’s probably asleep; he was given a mild sedative before I left to pick you up.”

“Why?” Bobby asked. His heart was beating faster; he was close to getting confirmation with his own eyes that Evan was alive.

“Nightmares,” Rossi explained. “He had a therapy session today but refused to say anything. We also tried for a statement, but no joy there either. We’re hoping having you here will bring him out of his shell a little, but you’ll have to be careful.”

“I think I figured that out, thanks,” Bobby couldn’t help but snap. He may not have much experience with trafficking victims, but Bobby knew how to handle himself around trauma survivors.

“You’re going to be angry,” Rossi wasn’t intimidated by Bobby’s change in attitude. “And you’re going to be disgusted – . . .”

“Not with Buck,” Bobby protested.

“I know that.” Rossi met Bobby’s gaze with a steady look of his own. “And you know that, but someone who’s been through what Evan’s been through is going to have a tendency to internalize that anger and disgust. There’s a very real possibility that he’ll assume it’s directed at him. So take some time while Evan’s asleep. Let yourself react when that reaction can’t hurt him.” 

Bobby sighed. “in other words, I could hurt him as much as the traffickers did.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Rossi temporized. “Just be careful of what you say and, more importantly, how you say it.”

“Any other advice?” Now that the moment had arrived, Bobby was almost afraid to go in. “Have you seen people come back from something like this?”

“What Evan’s been through? I haven’t seen too many things that compare,” Rossi said. “Thank God for that. I will say that the people I’ve seen come out of the worst traumas are those that have a strong will to survive and that have a solid support system behind them.”

Bobby felt better. “Buck’s got both.”

“Good,” Rossi nodded at the door of the last room on the corridor. “I’m going to head to the hotel and get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

The FBI agent walked away, giving Bobby some much-needed privacy. Bobby closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he was ready, he opened the door quietly and stepped in.

The room was big and there were several soft lights on, a contrast to a normal hospital room’s stark lighting. Similarly, it wasn’t set up like the usual hospital room. It looked more like a studio apartment or hotel suite, with a couch and large recliner. Even the bed was bigger than normal.

The bed, which contained a sleeping figure.

The bag on Bobby’s shoulder started to drop to the floor and he caught it at the very last minute. He didn’t want to think how Buck would react to a loud noise. Once the duffle was safely on the floor, Bobby was drawn to the other side of the room.

It was really Buck. Frowning even in his sleep, with a thinner face and longer hair, but unmistakably Buck.

Bobby reached out as though to touch Buck’s face but pulled back before he made contact. Given what he’d been told about what Buck had been through, Bobby didn’t want to imagine how Buck would react if he woke up with someone looming over him. There were no machines hooked up to Buck, not even an IV. Bobby took that as a good sign.

Looking around, Bobby found a chair and carefully moved it so that it was next to the bed. He then pulled out his phone to take a photo. That’s when he realized that his hands were shaking. Bobby took a couple of deep breaths and tried again. After his hands were steadier, Bobby snapped a picture, which he texted to Athena. He got an almost immediate response. She must have been waiting for word.

As he typed a reply, the letters were blurry. Bobby reached up and wiped his eyes, not having been aware that he’d started crying. After sending the message to his wife that he was okay and would call if he needed anything, Bobby settled back into the chair and just looked at Buck. He desperately wanted to talk to the younger man but knew that he needed to wait until Buck had awakened on his own.

There was something that Bobby could do in the meantime, though. Something that he’d been neglecting, especially since the tsunami and Buck’s loss. Bobby leaned forward in his chair, elbows propped up on his knees and hands clasped in front of him. He bowed his head and began to pray, offering thanks for Buck’s return and begging for the strength that would be needed in order to help him. When he was finished, Bobby felt calmer, even if he still didn’t feel fully prepared to handle the healing process to come. Bobby leaned back in the chair, determined to never let Evan Buckley out of his sight again.

At some point, Bobby must have drifted off to sleep. He hadn’t meant to, but it had been a long day, with the last part of it full of emotional upheaval. He woke up with a start, not sure at first at what had awoken him. A low moan came from the bed and Bobby looked at Buck in concern. 

Buck’s sleep looked like it had become anything but peaceful. While Bobby had been napping, Buck’s frown had deepened and he was shaking his head from side to side. Bobby remembered what Rossi had said about Buck having been given a sedative; the drug might make it difficult for Buck to break out of the nightmare on his own. While Bobby watched, tears leaked out from underneath Buck’s tightly closed eyelids and trailed down the side of his face.

The tears were Bobby’s undoing. He started to reach towards Buck, intending to gently bring him out of the nightmare. Before he could, Buck sat straight up with a strangled cry and looked wildly around the room. From the glazed look in his eyes, Bobby wasn’t sure Buck was seeing what was really there.

“Buck?” Bobby called out softly as he touched the younger man’s arm. “Buck, you’re okay.”

The response was extreme and even worse than Bobby expected. Buck made another choked noise and scrambled off the bed. He was moving even as he hit the floor, scrabbling back until he hit a wall. When he did, Buck curled in on himself and hid his face in his knees. Bobby could hear the harsh sound of Buck’s breathing even from the other side of the bed.

Bobby sat stunned for a moment. Buck had always been fearless, that characteristic had actually been a problem when Bobby had been his captain. The FBI had tried to warn Bobby about the condition Buck was in, but seeing for himself brought home to Bobby how much damage had been done. He put his shock aside, though, and got out of the chair to approach Buck.

Being careful to keep his movements slow and calm, Bobby used every ounce of his training and spoke constantly and quietly while he stepped closer.

“It’s just me, Buck. It’s Bobby.” Bobby knelt a couple feet from Buck. “You’re safe now. No one’s going to hurt you anymore.”

Over the next few minutes, Bobby kept up his soft patter of words, being sure to use both of their names and to reassure Buck that he was safe. As he continued talking and made no additional effort to touch Buck, Bobby noticed visible shuddering shaking Buck’s body 

“Hey, Buck, it’s me. It’s Bobby,” Bobby repeated. “Can you look at me, kid? You’re safe now. All safe. No one’s going to hurt you here. They’d have to come through me and that’s not about to happen.”

As if in slow motion, Buck’s head lifted a tiny bit.

“That’s good, Buck. It’s just me. It’s Bobby.”

Buck’s head lifted another inch. Bobby thought he saw a flash of blue eyes.

“You’re safe, Buck, it’s me. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Finally, Buck’s head lifted all the way. He stared at Bobby and Bobby wasn’t entirely sure that the younger man recognized him.

“There you are,” Bobby smiled in encouragement. “You’re safe in the hospital, Buck. I’m here; no one’s going to hurt you.”

Silently, Buck’s lips form a word and Bobby could easily tell what it was, even though the young man didn’t actually speak it.

“Bobby,” Buck mouthed.

Bobby felt his mouth stretch in a relieved grin. “Yeah, kid, it’s me – oof.”

Buck had lurched forward and threw himself at Bobby. For a brief moment Bobby thought Buck was attacking, but he was mistaken. It was actually the opposite. Buck threw himself into Bobby’s arms and clutched at him as though his life depended on it. Bobby was knocked off balance and fell back. He ended up sitting on the floor with his back to the wall and his lap full of Evan Buckley.

“I’ve got you, kid,” Bobby whispered hoarsely. Buck’s face was hidden in the crook of Bobby’s neck and Bobby could feel the wet warmth of tears. He wasn’t sure if they were from Buck or from the ones he was shedding. They were both shaking.

Bobby started rocking back and forth, although he wasn’t sure if it was for his benefit or Buck’s. He wasn’t sure how long they sat there, but Bobby was determined not to move until Buck was calmer. Eventually, Buck’s quivering changed from rough shudders to more simple trembling.

“You cold?” Bobby asked. He could feel a chill from the floor seeping up through his jeans. Buck was dressed in thin cotton sleep pants and had to be feeling it more.

Buck’s head moved slightly, so slightly that Bobby wasn’t sure if it was a nod yes or not. Bobby decided to take it for an affirmative and carefully moved. He didn’t try to dislodge Buck’s hands, which were gripping Bobby’s shirt tightly, but he did manage to get them both to their feet. Buck wouldn’t look at him, but Bobby tried not to worry about that. Buck was letting Bobby hold him; Bobby counted that as a significant victory.

Bobby felt less victorious as he tried to approach the bed.

As soon as Buck realized where Bobby was headed, he pulled away and started shaking his head furiously from side to side. He didn’t, however, make a sound, despite how his body language was screaming.

“Whoa, whoa,” Bobby didn’t let Buck completely retreat, but he stopped trying to move towards the bed. Bobby tried to tell what Buck was looking at, but the only thing that seemed to be in Buck’s line of sight was the bed.

God only knew what had been done to Buck while he was on a bed.

“Okay, no bed,” Bobby reassured Buck. He took a step away from the bed and Buck relaxed minutely.

Bobby knew the floor wasn’t a good option, so he cast his gaze around the room to look for alternatives. There were two; a couch and the large recliner that he’d spotted before. Bobby started leading Buck the recliner and apparently that was a good choice because Buck didn’t protest.

With encouragement from Bobby, Buck got on the recliner. It was made a little more difficult because Buck refused to relinquish his hold on Bobby’s shirt.

“Let me get you some blankets,” Bobby asked, putting his hand over Buck’s. 

Buck just shook his head and his grip tightened.

“Okay, no blankets,” Bobby said.

“Excuse me, is everything all right?”

The voice was a woman’s and Bobby turned, surprised. He’d been so caught up with Buck that he hadn’t noticed that a nurse had come in. Her expression was concerned, but not overly so.

Bobby made sure to put his body between Buck and the nurse. He was sure she was harmless but wasn’t about to take any chances.

“Could he have some blankets?” Bobby asked. “Maybe a wet washcloth.” He gestured to where Buck was holding on to him. 

The nurse followed Bobby’s movement and Bobby could tell that she saw his problem. “Sure, just a minute.”

She was as good as her word. In a few minutes, she had gotten a warm washcloth and gave it to Bobby. He smiled at her in gratitude and started to carefully wipe Buck’s face. The warmth and the motion helped Buck calm down a little. Before leaving the room, the nurse brought the chair over so that Bobby could sit.

“I’ll be back in just a minute,” the nurse said. She left the room but was back just as quickly. She had an armful of white, cotton blankets. “Here, these are fresh out of the autoclave.”

Wisely, the nurse didn’t try to put the blankets on Buck herself. Instead, she handed them to Bobby. They were warm to the touch and Bobby smiled at her. “Thank you.”

“Sure,” the nurse responded. “My name’s Connie. Just buzz me if you need anything else.”

Bobby waited until she’d left the room before he spread the blankets on Buck, somewhat awkwardly until he managed to shift Buck’s grip from his shirt to one of Bobby’s arms. Buck’s trembling almost immediately stopped. Buck blinked at him owlishly. Whether the sedative was still working or Buck was just wiped out, Bobby didn’t know.

“I’ll be here when you wake up,” Bobby promised. He reached out and did what he’d wanted to do since laying eyes on Buck earlier. He reached out and very gently brushed the hair out of Buck’s eyes. “You can sleep now, you’re safe. I won’t leave you, I promise.”

Buck seemed to fight sleep, but eventually sleep won. His eyes drifted shut and his grip on Bobby’s arm slackened. Bobby kept stroking Buck’s hair until the younger man was really and truly out.

The deep breath Bobby took was shaky. Athena was right; this was so much worse than anything that Bobby had dealt with before. And that meant there was only one thing that Bobby could do.

Bobby cautiously rose from the chair, careful not to wake Buck. He took the few steps to the bed and sat down, pulling his phone out as he did. He picked the contact that was at the top of the favorites loaded into his phone. She answered on the second ring.

“Athena?” Bobby greeted her. He kept his voice quiet so as not to wake Buck. It probably would have been better had he left the room, but short of an act of God could get Bobby to leave Buck, even that much.

“What’s the matter, Bobby?” Athena’s concern came clearly over the phone.

“He woke up.”

There was loaded silence for a moment. “How was he?”

Everything seemed to crash down on him at once. Bobby opened his mouth to say something, but only a sob came out.

Athena could hear it. “Bobby?”

“They hurt my kid, Athena,” Bobby managed to say. 

“Those bastards hurt my kid.”


	8. Chapter 8

Athena leaned against the doorframe and watched the bustle of activity in the fire house with a practiced eye. It was early into the shift and they were busy with their morning routine. Despite the action, though, Athena knew that it was the calm before the storm.

She was about to give her friends some of the most joyful news they’d ever received . . . and then she’d turn around and rip their hearts out with the details.

This task was not something that Athena was looking forward to, but it was something that Bobby had asked of her. She’d do anything to support her husband, especially now. Athena was in pain over Buck, but it was nothing compared what Bobby was feeling. If breaking the news to the 118 eased his burden in any way, then Athena would do it. Maybe not gladly, but with the knowledge that taking it on had spared her husband.

“Athena,” Hen spotted her and called out to her from the loft. “What’s the word on Bobby? Is everything okay?”

The 118 may have just had a shift start, but Athena had been busy for hours. Her first call had been to the LAFD chief. Arrangements had been made for another house to cover for the 118. Athena would talk to those that were the closest to Buck and the chief agreed to handle the others. The firefighters had been told that Bobby was out because of a family emergency, but that was all the information they’d been given so far.

The steps up to the loft seemed longer than usual, and Athena climbed them with a heavy heart. She saw the chief chivvying the other firefighters to the bunkhouse below. Hen, Eddie and Chim went to follow, but she stopped them by holding her arm out. “Not you three. We need to talk.”

“You’re starting to scare me,” Hen said. “Is Bobby okay? The chief wouldn’t go into any detail.”

“And then people from the 136 started to show up,” Eddie added. “They didn’t know what was going on either.”

Chim was more succinct. “Who died?”

“Bobby is okay,” Athena assured them. She shot a glance at Chim. “And nobody died.” She gestured to all of them. “Come on, you’re going to want to be sitting for this.”

Without another peep, the three firefighters took seats at the kitchen table. That obedience, more than anything, told her just how worried they were. Athena took the chair at the head of the table. On her way to the firehouse, Athena had stopped by a drugstore and had some photos printed out from her phone. They were in the manila envelope in her hand and Athena held it carefully, like it was a bomb that was ready to explode. In a way, it was.

“The FBI came by our house late yesterday afternoon,” Athena started. She didn’t miss the glances exchanged by the other three. “Don’t worry, Bobby’s not in any trouble.”

“Are you sure?” Chim questioned. “There’s not a whole lot of reasons why the FBI would show up at your place.”

Athena sighed. She hated to admit that the FBI was right about anything, but now that she found herself in the position of explaining, she realized that Agent Yu had been right about a picture being worth a thousand words.

“They came by to bring us a picture and to tell us the story behind it,” Athena took the pictures out of the envelope and spread them out on the table. She’d had each blown up to a 5x7, the largest that could be managed given the quality of the original image. One was the original the FBI had given them of an awake Buck and the other two were photos Bobby had sent of Buck sleeping.

“Is this a joke?” Eddie was the first to react. “Did they find these on the internet or something?”

“All three were taken in the last 24 hours,” Athena said gently. “Buck is alive.”

Her statement was met with complete silence, which lasted for a full 30 seconds.

“That’s not possible,” Eddie finally said. “Buck died in the tsunami. He would not have waited nine minutes, let alone nine months, to tell us he’d survived.”

“He’s right,” Hen added. She glanced at Chim who had his lips pressed so tightly together that the edges were turning white. “Buck was reckless, but not cruel. I know he was unhappy with his return to work being delayed, but there is no way that he’d just walk away and let Maddie and Christopher think he was dead, let alone the rest of us.”

Athena understood their denial all too well. “Except that he didn’t walk away; Buck was taken.”

“Taken?” Eddie asked. Hen and Chimney looked just as confused.

“We don’t have all the details yet,” Athena explained gently. “But Buck was rescued yesterday by the FBI. He’d been held by a group identified as sex traffickers. The FBI has confirmed that Buck was not there voluntarily, but they don’t have the details yet on how he got there.”

“Sex traffickers?” Eddie’s voice cracked. “As in forced prostitution?”

“Yes,” Athena confirmed, regret in both her expression and tone. “From what I understand, he’s deeply traumatized. He won’t speak.”

“Oh, Buckaroo,” Hen whispered.

Eddie slapped the table with an open palm and then got up to pace. 

“And Bobby was notified because?” Chim asked.

“The hope was that having someone he trusted with him would help Buck feel safe,” Athena responded. She had a feeling that wasn’t what Chim was getting at but chose to deliberately misunderstand.

Chim didn’t let it drop. “Why Bobby and not Maddie? She’s Buck’s sister.”

“For the only reason that matters,” Athena responded, keeping calm by the barest of margins. She didn’t like the implied criticism of her husband, even if she’d also questioned why Maddie hadn’t been told. “Because it’s what Buck wanted.”

“I thought you said Buck wasn’t speaking?” Hen asked.

Athena took a deep breath to center herself; it hadn’t been that long ago she’d received this news herself and knew what kind of turmoil it brought. They were right to have questions, even if Athena didn’t have all of the answers.

“The FBI agents told us that when they asked Buck if he wanted his sister notified that he got very upset,” Athena explained. “And when they asked him if there was anyone else he wanted them to contact, he pointed to a picture of Bobby.”

Support, when it came, was from an unexpected source.

“That makes sense,” Eddie commented as he flopped back down in his chair. He looked at Chim. “You know how protective Buck is of Maddie. If what he went through was bad, his first instinct would be to shield her from it.”

“Or he’s ashamed,” Hen said softly.

“Buck has nothing to be ashamed of,” Eddie retorted sharply. “You heard what Athena said, he was forced.”

Athena quelled Eddie with a look. “You weren’t here when Buck first joined the 118,” Athena said. “He was a horndog plain and simple.”

Eddie started to protest, but Athena shut him down again, this time with one lifted eyebrow. “I’m not saying that means he deserved what happened or that he in any way wanted or enjoyed what they made him do.” She shook her head. “But because his sex life used to be, to put it mildly, quite robust, Buck might think he deserved what happened. Right now, we just don’t know what’s going through his mind.”

“I have to admit, Chim,” Hen said to her partner. “As much as I know Maddie loves Buck and is protective of her little brother, if I were Buck and wanted someone to help me feel safe, I’d probably choose Bobby too.”

Chim thought about it a moment and then all the tension went out of him. “I’d probably pick her,” he pointed at Athena. “But I see your point.”

Eddie shifted in his chair. “Athena, have you heard from Bobby since he left for – where was Buck found, anyway?”

“New Orleans,” Athena supplied. “And, yes, I’ve heard from him. He sent a couple of the pictures.” She chose her next words very carefully. “Bobby said that they had a bad night.”

“What does that mean?” Eddie asked.

“Bobby told me that Buck was asleep when he got there but woke up with a nightmare at about three in the morning. He recognized Bobby but wouldn’t speak.” Athena took a shaky breath. “Bobby was pretty shook up.”

“And Bobby couldn’t get him to talk?” Hen asked. “Buck will usually do anything for Bobby.”

Athena rubbed her forehead. “Honestly, I don’t know that Bobby even tried. I haven’t heard from Bobby since about five o’clock this morning, so I suppose anything could have happened by now.”

“What happens next?” Chim asked.

“I tell Maddie,” Athena told him. “You’ll come with me?”

“Of course,” Chimney frowned. “Maybe I better call her doctor first; she’s supposed to be careful about stress. Hang on.”

“I’m not going anywhere without you,” Athena assured him.

While Chim moved a few feet away to make his phone call, Athena eyed the other two. “How are you guys doing?”

“I honestly couldn’t tell you,” Hen admitted. “Buckaroo is alive and that’s a miracle, but it hurts too.”

“What am I gonna tell Christopher?” Eddie was pale. “How do you explain sex trafficking to a nine-year-old?”

Athena had been wrestling with that herself, since Harry was in the same age bracket as Eddie’s son. “You figure that out, you let me know.” She sighed. “Honestly, it might be best if you hold off telling him for now.”

“I’m not lying to him,” Eddie protested.

“I’m not telling you to lie to your son, I’m suggesting you be selective in what you tell him.” She looked at both of them. “The FBI pointed out to Bobby that the media are eventually going to find out about Buck. What do you think will happen when they do?”

Hen looked dismayed. “They’ll eat him alive.”

Athena pointed at her. “Exactly. We can’t stop it from happening, but maybe we can delay it a little. Be careful about who you tell – the chief is giving the same instructions to the others.” Athena looked at Eddie. “Christopher is a good boy, but it’s not fair to ask a child to keep that kind of secret.”

“Might not be a bad idea to get more information before you tell Chris anyway,” Hen added. “I’ll talk to Karen about it, but we’ll probably wait to tell Denny too.”

“The chief’s given all three of you the next two days off,” Athena told them. “We don’t know when Bobby will be able to bring Buck home, but you’ll need some time to process that he’s alive and it would be best if you did that before you see him.”

“I might need more time than that,” Chim rejoined the group and had heard the last part of what Athena had said. “It all depends on how it goes with Maddie.”

“What did the doctor say?” Hen asked. 

“To be as gentle as possible and to go to the ER if anything feels off,” Chim’s expression didn’t look impressed and Athena didn’t blame him. As advice went, it was pretty vague. At least Chim was a paramedic and Maddie a former nurse. Between the two of them, they should be able to figure out if Maddie needed medical intervention, but Athena well knew how expertise could go out the window when it was your own family involved.

“I suppose Chim and I should get going, but I’d like for all of you to come over for dinner tomorrow night.” Athena looked at Hen. “Bring Karen and, Chim, Maddie should be there too. We’ve got some logistics to work out, like where Buck’s going to live when he comes home.”

“I’m sure Maddie will want him with us,” Chimney said.

Eddie shook his head. “You’ve got twins on the way. He can stay with me and Christopher; Chris would love that.”

Hen held up her hands. “Don’t look at me, Karen and I have all we can handle with Denny and Elijah.” Elijah was the name of their latest foster child.

“Like I said, we have logistics to work out and an unknown amount of time to do it in,” Athena reminded them. She was pretty sure that Bobby would want Buck with them, but they had yet to talk about it. “Does 6 pm work for everybody?”

“Why wait that long?” Eddie asked. “We should get this settled ASAP.”

“All of you have appointments with Frank tomorrow,” Athena told them, referring to the counselor that both the LAPD and the LAFD used. “As do I,” she added before any of them objected.

“Taking care of us while Bobby’s gone?” Hen asked, but fondly. “Going all Mama Bear?”

“You better believe it,” Athena stated. If she couldn’t take care of Bobby right now, she’d do the next best thing; she’d look after his people. “Chim, we should get this over with. I’ll see the rest of you tomorrow at 6 pm.”

There were general murmurs of agreement, so Athena considered that part settled. As she and Chim headed out, Athena noticed Eddie walking quickly towards the workout area. Thankfully Hen was following him. Hen noticed Athena watching and gravely nodded at her. Athena breathed a sigh of relief. She’d expected a lot more anger out of Eddie than he’d shown so far and figured he was bottling up his emotions again. Eddie could do real damage to himself in the gym if he wasn’t careful. It was good of Hen to keep an eye on him.

Athena got into her car. Just like she wasn’t in uniform, she was driving her own car instead of a patrol vehicle. Chim chose to drive separately. That bothered Athena a little, since the last time Chim was behind the wheel when he was emotionally compromised, he ended up with a piece of rebar through the middle of his head. She had to trust he’d learned his lesson.

The ride to the townhouse that Maddie shared with Chim was a long one. Not so much because of the distance or even the traffic, but because Athena kept looking at her phone, hoping for an update from Bobby. When he’d called in the middle of the night, they’d talked for a couple of hours before she’d felt comfortable that Bobby was okay. Honestly, if she wasn’t already wanting to shoot the traffickers once just on general principle and a second time for hurting Buck, she’d want to shoot them a third time for what they’d indirectly done to her husband. 

When they arrived, Chim parked in the driveway and Athena on the street. Chim waited for her to join him before heading towards the door.

“I didn’t let her know I was coming home,” Chim said. “Telling Maddie that without letting her know why would have just worried her.”

“Good call,” Athena agreed. “She’s going to be upset enough in a few minutes; no sense in starting it any earlier than you had to.”

Chim used his key and opened the door. Athena wasn’t offended when he went right in instead of having her walk in first. Under the circumstances, Maddie seeing her boyfriend first was more important than chivalry.

“Maddie, you here?” Chim called out. Athena knew it was mostly a rhetorical question since they’d seen her car in the garage on the way in.

“Chim?” Maddie’s voice came from the bedroom and as she continued to speak, her voice got louder as she came nearer. “What are you doing home?”

Buck’s sister was a petite woman that was five months pregnant with twins. She waddled already and Athena hoped that Chim, a notorious jokester, knew enough not to tease her about it. 

Maddie caught sight of Athena behind Chim and her welcoming smile faltered. “What’s wrong?”

“We’ve got some really good news followed by some really bad news,” Chim told her. He met Maddie at the entrance to the living room and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, leading her to the couch.

“Ooo-kay,” Maddie’s eyes darted between Chim and Athena as she sat. “Bad enough that you needed Athena’s support?”

Chim nodded. “Yeah.”

Maddie expression deepened into concern. Obviously, she hadn’t expected Chim to agree so readily. “All right, what is it?”

Athena exchanged a quick look with Chim before he began to explain. She nodded, giving him permission to take the lead.

“Maddie, honey,” Chim said, taking one of her hands. “Do you remember after the tsunami when you insisted for months that Buck might have survived?”

“Yes. . . .” Maddie’s other hand started rubbing her belly. Athena knew that it was the instinctive movement of a mother wanting to protect her baby. Maddie may not have known yet what she was going to hear, but she’d sensed enough to be afraid.

“You were right,” Chim told her gently. “Buck is alive. Bobby got word last night.”

“What?” Maddie stared at Chim in shock and then shot a quick look at Athena.

Athena was quick to confirm. “It’s true. Bobby has seen him.” She had the envelope with her and handed over one of the photos of Buck sleeping to his sister.

“Oh,” Maddie put one hand over her mouth while the other took the photo. Both hands were trembling. “I – I don’t believe this.”

“I don’t think Bobby or Athena would lie to us,” Chim said. “Believe it - Buck’s alive.”

“It’s true,” Athena confirmed. “Bobby flew out to join him last night. He confirmed it with his own eyes.”

Athena could see tears flooding Maddie’s eyes. “How is this possible? Where has he been?” She lifted her gaze from the photo and looked at Chim and then Athena in entreaty. “And why did you say there would be really bad news? I don’t see how anything about Buck being alive could be bad.”

“It’s where he was found that’s bad,” Athena said gently.

“Did he have amnesia or something?” Maddie asked through her tears. “That would be a totally Buck thing to happen. I swear, if it weren’t for bad luck my brother would have no luck at all.”

Athena saw the lame joke for the coping mechanism that it was. “As far as we know, Buck remembers just fine. Bobby said he had no problems with Buck recognizing him.”

Maddie’s confusion visibly deepened. “Well, what did Buck say?”

“Honey, Buck’s had a hard time of it while he’s been gone,” Chim told her. “Bobby said he’s not verbal right now.”

Neither he nor Athena wanted to tell her what had happened to her brother. Still, it had to be done and since it was the whole reason that Athena was there, she figured that she better get to it.

“Buck was rescued from a sex trafficking ring in New Orleans,” Athena bit the bullet and told Maddie the unvarnished truth. “For the last nine months he’s been forced into prostitution. We don’t know how he ended up in their hands but have to assume that he was grabbed during the tsunami.”

Maddie’s eyes opened wide. “This is Buck we’re talking about, right? My brother – Evan – has been a prostitute?”

“Not by his choice,” Athena assured her. “He was rescued by the FBI during a raid, they said he was clearly not there of his own volition.”

“Oh,” Maddie’s face crumpled. “Oh, my God. Poor Buck.”

Chimney pulled the distressed woman to him and wrapped her in his arms. Maddie completely broke down then, sobbing uncontrollably. Athena excused herself and got up to go to the kitchen in order to give the couple a little privacy. She checked her phone again, but still no word from Bobby. It was pretty early yet in California time, but New Orleans was two hours ahead of them. She hoped that it wasn’t a bad sign that she hadn’t heard from Bobby again.

Athena sent a quick text to Bobby, asking if everything was okay. When an answer didn’t immediately come, she put her phone back in her pocket and started to look in the cabinets for a glass. When she found one, she ran some water from the tap and brought the filled glass back into the living room. Maddie was still crying, but it had slowed down somewhat.

Athena put the glass on the coffee table so it was close enough for Maddie to reach. To her relief, Maddie pulled away from Chimney so that she could take a drink. A few sips and a couple of hiccups later and Maddie had the crying under control. Tears still fell from her eyes, but the wrenching sobbing was over. For the moment, anyway. Athena knew that Maddie was still processing the news about Buck and there was probably more sobbing in Maddie’s future.

“You doing okay, babe?” Chim asked. His eyes were full of worry.

“Not really,” Maddie admitted, but gave Chim a watery smile as she rubbed her belly. “But the boys are okay.” Her expression became determined. “I want to see Buck. Chim, we’ll need to get the next flight out.”

Athena knew that Maddie’s request put Chim in a hard spot. He clearly wanted to support her, but was equally obvious about his concern.

“That’s not a good idea,” Athena spoke gently. Behind Maddie, Chim gave her a grateful look.

“Why not, I’m Buck’s sister. I need to be with him.” Maddie narrowed her eyes at Athena. “Don’t tell me it’s about the babies; you know as well as I do that pregnant women can fly up until the last month.”

Athena didn’t bother correcting Maddie. Women with normal pregnancies could fly as long as their doctor thought it was safe. Maddie’s, however, was considered riskier since she was expecting twins. Still, that wasn’t any of Athena’s business and was not the reason she’d raised an objection.

“Maddie, Buck doesn’t want to see you,” Athena explained. “He got very upset when the FBI offered to contact you; that’s the whole reason why Bobby went.”

Both Chimney and Athena braced themselves for an emotional reaction to Maddie learning that her brother hadn’t wanted her. Instead, however, Maddie looked contemplative.

“I should have realized that would happen,” Maddie said, much to the other two’s surprise. “It’s only to be expected.”

“Expected?” Chim asked. “In what way?”

Maddie’s smile was sad. “When I ran here from Doug, I didn’t tell Buck why for a long time. Never would have told him if I could have avoided it. I don’t like it, but I understand it.”

Athena nodded, respecting the other woman’s attitude. “Bobby said that Buck had a nightmare that was pretty bad last night. He didn’t know what it was about.”

“Unfortunately, my baby brother has too many things that could cause bad dreams,” Maddie commented. “When can he come home?”

“I have no idea,” Athena answered. “Normally the preference is to get the victim back to family as soon as possible, but the FBI will also want a statement from Buck. It might be a few days, but probably no longer than that.”

Maddie wiped at her eyes, a determined expression coming over her face. “Then we don’t have much time to get ready.” She pinned Athena with her gaze. “Tell me everything that Bobby said.”

There was no way that Athena was doing that; some things that were said during the call were for her ears alone. Athena instead gave Maddie an edited version, one that only had information that related directly to Buck and not Bobby’s reaction. When she was done, Maddie had started crying again, but silently.

“When are you supposed to hear from Bobby again?” Maddie asked.

Athena was about to answer when she felt the phone in her pocket vibrate. She took it out and was relieved to see that the call was from Bobby.

“How about now?” Athena replied to Maddie. She accepted the call and immediately put it on speaker before placing it on the coffee table.

“Bobby, I’m with Maddie and Chim,” Athena spoke before Bobby could. “How’s Buck doing?”

All three of them leaned in as they waited for the captain to answer.


	9. Chapter 9

Talking to Athena had calmed Bobby enough that he could sleep. Bobby’s chair was wasn’t as comfortable as the recliner Buck was using, but it was still much better than was typical for a hospital room. Later, when Bobby woke up suddenly, it wasn’t because of a crick in his neck; it was because of the sensation of being watched. Sure enough, when Bobby opened his eyes and glanced over, Buck was staring at him.

“Good morning,” Bobby greeted the other man, sitting up straighter in his chair.

Buck just looked at him, eyes barely blinking.

“I’m glad you were able to get more sleep,” Bobby tried again. “It looked like you needed it.”

Still no response.

“Do you remember waking up last night?” Bobby asked.

That got a reaction and Buck didn’t need words to answer. The way he turned his head away from Bobby and the telltale reddening of his ears told Bobby that Buck remembered – and was embarrassed by it.

“Hey, look at me kid,” Bobby hastily softened his words into a request instead of an order. “Please.”

Slowly, Buck turned back in Bobby’s direction.

“If you’re embarrassed, you don’t need to be,” Bobby assured him. He smiled ruefully. “In case you didn’t notice, I was a mess last night.”

That admission didn’t get much reaction, but Bobby was undaunted. He used the opportunity to say something to Buck he’d wanted to ever since hearing that the younger man was alive.

“Buck, I am so sorry,” Bobby stated, voice cracking. He had to clear his throat before continuing. “We looked for you nonstop for days, long after all other rescue operations had turned to recovery of bodies. We thought you were dead and we hadn’t even known you were in danger until another fire house notified us that they’d rescued Christopher.”

Something Bobby said got through to Buck. The younger man did open his mouth as though to speak. When no words immediately came, Bobby simply waited. He wasn’t going to push; everything was on Buck’s schedule for the time being.

“Chris-christopher?” Buck finally asked. His voice was raspy, either with disuse or emotion.

“He’s fine,” Bobby kicked himself for not reassuring Buck about the boy’s safety right away. “He was rescued by the 128. You did it, Buck, you saved him.”

A couple of tears ran down Buck’s cheek at the news. The subdued response broke Bobby’s heart all over again.

“Here, you can see for yourself.”

Bobby dug out his phone. The chair he was using was already next to the recliner Buck was on, but Bobby managed to scoot a couple of inches closer. Bobby quickly navigated to his photo section and flipped through pictures until he found one of Christopher with Eddie.

“Look, see how tall he’s getting,” Bobby pointed out. “Eddie said that Christopher had some issues with nightmares after the tsunami, but physically nothing more than some bruises. You took good care of him.”

He handed the phone to Buck and Buck took it with shaking hands. For the first time since they’d been reunited, Bobby saw Buck smile. It was barely a twitch of the lips, but a smile nonetheless.

Seeing Buck’s reaction gave Bobby an idea. “Would you like to see more pictures?”

Buck’s eyes didn’t leave the phone, but he did make a miniscule nod with his head.

“Why don’t you scroll to the most recent photo and we can work our way back,” Bobby was tempted to do it himself, but he reminded himself that Buck was traumatized, not completely incapacitated. It was clear that Buck was going to need his self-confidence bolstered at each opportunity, no matter how small.

Without a word, Buck did as Bobby suggested. While the younger man’s eyes were trained on the pictures, Bobby watched Buck. He could see Buck relaxing bit by bit as he saw images of familiar people, most of whom were people that Buck loved.

Most.

Buck stopped at a photo with Hen and Karen and two boys. Seeing Buck’s hesitation, Bobby filled in some detail, keeping in mind how long Buck had been out of the loop.

“The IVF didn’t work for them, so Hen and Karen became foster parents,” Bobby explained. “That’s their current foster son, Elijah. He’s been with them a couple of months now while his mother goes through rehab.”

Bobby could see Buck mouth the word ‘Elijah’ as he brushed his finger over the image of the boy’s face. After he seemed to have it set in his memory, Buck continued to scroll.

“That’s May’s graduation,” Bobby said. “It’s hard to believe she’s in college now.”

And so it went, with Bobby telling Buck where and when each picture was taken, as well as filling in any details that he thought Buck enjoy hearing. Everything went smoothly until they got to a photo that showed a long line of ladder trucks. The question was clear in Buck’s eyes as he turned to Bobby.

“That’s from your memorial service,” Bobby said gently. “I told you we thought you were dead.”

Buck’s fingers stroked the picture almost reverently. He tapped it and then pointed at his own chest, clearly wanting confirmation.

“Yes, you.” Bobby smiled at him. “You weren’t in uniform the day of the tsunami, but you saved more people than some first responders who were. Your actions were heroic, Buck, and the city chose to honor you as though you’d been on duty that day.” 

The answer seemed to make Buck more upset. He gestured wildly at himself and back at the phone as though to dispute the claim.

“No way,” Bobby said firmly. “What happened to you after the tsunami doesn’t change anything. You saved lives. Even after we questioned – I questioned – your fitness for duty, you proved us wrong. You were a fire fighter that day and nothing that happened afterwards alters that fact. I am so damn proud of you.”

Buck flushed and looked away.

“It’s all right if you don’t believe me right now,” Bobby told him. “I’ll just keeping telling you until you do.”

“Food service.”

Bobby turned towards the new voice, while Buck flinched upon hearing it. The newcomer was dressed in scrubs and she didn’t hesitate before coming into the room.

“Breakfast,” the woman said as she entered. She had a tray in each hand.

There was a wheeled table off to the side, the type meant to be used by someone in bed, and the woman went straight to it. She placed the trays on it and then deftly wheeled it to where Bobby and Buck sat. Once she got close enough, Bobby could see that there were two complete breakfasts.

“You don’t understand, I’m not a patient here,” Bobby tried to explain.

The woman shrugged. “Order was changed last night. Two breakfasts. Enjoy.”

She abruptly left the room.

Bobby looked down at the food, bemused at her attitude. “I guess we’re having breakfast.” He glanced up at Buck, who was just staring at the food. “Are you hungry?”

Buck shrugged, but his eyes didn’t leave his plate. 

One of the FBI agents, Bobby couldn’t remember if it was Yu or Rossi, had said that Buck hadn’t been eating. Looking at him, Bobby could believe it. As he observed Buck, however, Bobby had a feeling that it wasn’t that Buck wasn’t hungry as much as it was something else that was holding Buck back.

“It’s okay if you eat,” Bobby told him quietly. “You won’t get in trouble.”

Buck reached out for the tray, but instead of taking any of the food, he grabbed the glass of milk. Buck drank it in one long gulp. Next Buck drank the orange juice. Once it was gone, Buck put his hands in his lap and just looked at the tray.

Bobby decided it might be best to set a good example. He picked up his fork and used it to scoop up some eggs. To his surprise, they were actually edible.

“Hey, this isn’t too bad for hospital food,” Bobby said. “You should try it.”

Buck just continued to look at the food.

“Please, just give it a try, Buck,” Bobby cajoled. “I promise that nothing bad will happen to you.”

With obvious reluctance, Buck picked up a piece of toast and nibbled on it. Bobby sighed. It was a start.

“When we get home, I’ll cook for you,” Bobby promised. “Or Athena might beat me to it. She’s going to take one look at you and vow to get some meat back on your bones.”

Buck flashed a startled look at Bobby.

“Yes, Athena knows I’m here,” Bobby told him. “She wanted to come with me, but I convinced her to stay behind so she can rally the home troops.” When Buck dropped the toast and looked away, Bobby sighed. “What are you afraid of, Buck?”

His face resolutely turned away; Buck didn’t answer.

“You don’t have to tell me what you went through, not if you don’t want to,” Bobby assured him. “I know enough from what Agent Rossi said that it was horrible. But I also know that nothing was your fault. Your family isn’t going to think anything less of you, Buck. If anything, we admire you for what you’ve survived. That’s something else that I’ll repeat until you believe it.”

Buck turned back, although he wouldn’t look Bobby in the eyes – nor did he try any more of his breakfast.

“If you’re not going to talk, maybe you could eat?” Bobby suggested. “The food’s not doing anybody any good staying on the plate.”

Reluctance in every move, Buck picked up a piece of toast again and used his fingers to put some eggs on it. As Buck took a bite and chewed, Bobby noticed something odd about it. Buck kept his lips pulled away, as though he didn’t want them to come into contact with what he was eating. Buck swallowed, but it almost looked like gagging. After everything the young man had gone through, Bobby couldn’t stand watching him forcing himself to eat.

“I’m sorry, Buck, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Bobby touched Buck’s wrist, reinforcing what he said. To Bobby’s pleasure, Buck didn’t flinch from his touch, even if he did drop the toast with an expression of relief.

“Would you like to see more photos?”

Buck nodded and Bobby pulled the phone out again. He felt a momentary flash of guilt; Athena must be worried by this point, but Bobby didn’t want to take his attention off Buck long enough to contact her. He could only hope that the battery on his phone held on long enough for him to contact her when he had a chance.

When the nurse came in some time later, that’s how she found them, heads close together as they leaned over the phone. Buck was essentially drinking in the images while Bobby offered running commentary.

“Excuse me, Mr. Buckley,” the nurse said as she walked into the room. “There was so much going on yesterday, I’m not sure you remember me. My name is Myra.”

Buck blushed and ducked his head. Bobby exchanged a look with the nurse and shrugged. He had no idea if that meant that Buck remembered her or not.

“I’m Bobby,” Bobby introduced himself. “It’s nice to meet you and, please. I’m sure he would rather you call him Buck or even Evan.”

“Of course,” the nurse went to the wipe off board and wrote ‘Evan/Buck’ underneath Buck’s name. “And are you his father?”

Buck’s head shot up and he gave Bobby a panicked look. Bobby patted him on the knee and smiled at him reassuringly.

“No, I’m afraid I don’t have that pleasure,” Bobby replied to the nurse – but his eyes never left Buck’s. “Buck’s a firefighter and I’m him captain, but we’re definitely family, just by choice and not blood.”

“It’s so good that Evan has someone here with him,” Myra didn’t seem at all nonplussed by mistaking Bobby for Buck’s father. “Some of the others are starting to have family members arrive and it seems to help.”

“Evan, I was wondering if you’d like to take a shower,” Myra went on to offer. 

Bobby belatedly realized that she was carrying a stack of fabric items. Looking closer, he realized that it was a new set of sleep pants and a shirt. 

Instead of answering the nurse, Buck looked at Bobby as though seeking permission. Bobby didn’t argue with him about the necessity of it.

“Do you want to take a shower?” Bobby asked.

Buck nodded shyly.

Myra smiled “Great! The showers in this wing are better than the rest of the hospital and, best yet, we have unlimited hot water. The ambiance might not be the best, but you can shower for as long as you want and not worry about the water going cold. I’ll just leave these in the bathroom and you can get started whenever you want.”

“Thank you,” Bobby told her after she’d done what she said.

“No problem,” Myra’s smile faltered a little and Bobby realized she’d probably been given at least a few details of what her patients had been through. “Whatever I can do to help.”

Buck waited until she left the room before he got out of the recliner. He walked towards the bathroom, but hesitated before going in. It was when Buck looked back at Bobby over his shoulder that Bobby realized what the problem was.

“I’ll be waiting right out here,” Bobby promised him. “I will not leave this room until you’re done, you have my word on it.”

Buck’s eyes darted between Bobby and the bathroom. Then, seeming to come to a decision, he walked into the bathroom and shut the door. Bobby pretended he didn’t hear the lock engaging.

Bobby waited until he heard the water start before he let himself react. He slumped into his chair and rubbed his face, praying for strength and guidance. Buck seemed so broken, yet Bobby had to hope that the young man he’d come to love like a son was still in there somewhere. It was going to be up to Bobby and the other people who loved Buck to help him find himself again.

Thinking of love led Bobby’s mind to one person – Athena. Bobby picked up his phone where Buck had left it on the table. Sure enough, there was a text from Athena. Bobby wasn’t even tempted to text her back. Bobby needed to hear his wife’s voice. He pulled up her contact and touched the phone to connect. Thankfully it didn’t have to ring long.

“Bobby, I’m with Maddie and Chim,” Athena spoke before Bobby could. The welcome sound of her voice caused goosebumps to break out on his arms. “How’s Buck doing?”

Keenly aware that Buck’s sister – his heavily pregnant sister – was on the other end of the line, Bobby chose his words very carefully.

“Tentative,” Bobby finally said. “He’s much calmer today than last night, but he’s not opening up either. He’s taking a shower right now. Earlier we were looking at photos and Buck seemed to like that.”

“Is he still Buck?” Maddie asked. Bobby could hear the tears in her voice even through the phone. “There are so many horror stories about trafficking.”

“I think it’s going to be a while before we see the exuberant Buck we’re used to,” Bobby finally responded. “But I think he’s in there; we just have to convince him it’s safe to come out.”

“Which we will,” Athena’s voice was iron. 

“Which we will,” Bobby agreed, feeling better for the certainty in her voice. “Maddie, how are you holding up?”

“The news didn’t send me into early labor, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Maddie said. “I just don’t know how to feel – but I do know that I can’t wait to see him. It won’t feel real until I can hold him.”

“Did Athena tell you why I’m here instead of you?” Bobby asked.

“Yes,” Maddie replied readily. “And I understand. I don’t like it, but I understand. Maybe seeing me is too much, but do you think he’d be willing to talk to me on the phone?”

“Buck’s not talking to anyone right now,” Bobby replied, but quickly corrected himself. “I take that back; he has said one word. Someone should tell Eddie that the only thing Buck’s said so far is ‘Christopher.’”

Bobby heard a small sob on the other end and knew it was Maddie even before he heard the murmur that was Chim comforting her.

“I haven’t told him about the babies yet,” Bobbie told her. “I thought that news should come from you.”

“You can tell him if you think it will help him at all, maybe give him something good to hold on to,” Maddie sniffed. “I can’t believe that he’s going to be able to meet his nephews. Buck’s going to be an awesome uncle.”

“He’s gonna spoil them rotten,” Chim’s voice could be heard rumbling, but he didn’t really seem unhappy at the prospect.

“Buck ate a couple of bites of breakfast,” Bobby reported. “I think there’s something going on there, but I haven’t had a chance to talk to his doctor yet.”

“Do you know when you can bring him home?” Maddie asked.

“Not yet,” Bobby admitted. “I should have asked Agent Rossi last night. . . .”

“But you had other things on your mind,” Athena defended him, even before anyone could criticize Bobby, even Bobby. “That’s understandable.”

Bobby smiled. He could always count on Athena’s support.

“Do we know yet where I’ll be bringing him home to?” Bobby asked. He’d been able to do a lot of thinking the night before and had realized that he had no idea where Buck would be living when he returned to Los Angeles.

“We’re working on that,” Athena told him. “Don’t worry, we’ll be ready when Buck is.”

“Athena, you know more about police matters than we do,” Chim said. “Do you have any idea of when the FBI might release Buck?”

There was a moment of silence and Bobby could imagine his wife taking time to gather her thoughts. 

“Strictly speaking, Buck isn’t in FBI custody,” Athena told them. “At least I don’t think he is. They probably want a statement from him, but usually the rule is to reunite kidnap victims with their family as soon as possible.”

“So whatever we’re going to do, we need to do it quickly,” Chim stated.

“I’ll let you know as soon as I get an idea from the FBI.”

There was the sound of a throat clearing and Bobby looked up to see Agent Rossi and two women standing in the doorway.

“Speak of the devil, I have to go,” Bobby told them. “Agent Rossi is here.”

“Tell Buck I love him,” Maddie said.

“Hang in there, Cap,” Chim chimed in.

Athena was the last speak. “Love you.”

Those two words steadied Bobby. “Love you too. I’ll call when I can.”

Bobby put the phone down and Rossi and his companions took that as permission to come in.

“You look a little more settled,” Rossi greeted him. “Last night you were a little wild around the eyes.”

“With good reason,” Bobby pointed out. “If you’re here to speak to Buck, he’s in the shower.”

“Actually, we’d like to talk to you at the moment,” Rossi replied. “This is Agent Jareau of the BAU and Loretta Johnson, Evan’s counselor. Loretta’s specialty is working with kidnap victims.” Rossi nodded at the food tray. “I see you’ve had a little better luck at getting Evan to eat.”

Bobby rubbed at the back of his neck. “Not much.”

He couldn’t help but notice Rossi and Jareau exchanged a look.

“Can you tell me, Captain Nash,” Agent Jareau asked. “Did Evan use any of the utensils?”

“No, come to think of it, he didn’t,” Bobby replied. “Is that significant?”

Rossi and Jareau looked at each other again before the female agent stepped forward to take Buck’s tray. “I’m just going to see if they have a microwave.”

“Rossi,” Bobby repeated after she left. “Is that significant?”

“We’ve found out a few things since we talked last night,” Rossi admitted. “We discovered a modified shock device on site and we believe it was used to punish Evan.”

Bobby felt his stomach roil and he was glad that he hadn’t eaten much of his own breakfast. “Modified how? Punished how?” His mind could, unfortunately, provide the reasons why Buck might be punished.

Rossi sighed. “It was connected to a metal fork. We believe it was used to shock Evan into not speaking and probably to control his eating too.”

“Oh God,” Bobby breathed, remembering how oddly Evan had chewed the little that he had eaten.

“Have you had a chance to speak to Evan’s doctor yet?” Rossi asked. He continued after Bobby numbly shook his head. “There are some scars on the inside of Evan’s mouth and we think this device is probably what caused them.”

“Has Evan told you anything?” The counselor asked. “I had a session with him yesterday, but he wouldn’t speak.”

“He’s said one word and that was to ask about Christopher,” Bobby explained when the other two looked confused. “Christopher was on the pier with Buck when the tsunami happened. He’d managed to get the boy to safety before being pulled away by the water.”

“We’re using one of the consult rooms on this floor for interviews,” Johnson said. “If you’d like to come with me, it would be helpful to get some background on Evan. I won’t be able to work with him long term, but he’s going to need extensive counseling and it would be best to get it started as soon as possible.”

“No,” Bobby answered succinctly. “I promised Buck that I would not leave this room while he was in the shower.”

“I can stay until you get back,” Rossi offered.

Bobby turned to glare at the FBI agent. “What part of ‘no’ did you not understand?”

To Bobby’s surprise, the counselor started to laugh.

“And what do you think is so funny?” Bobby asked her. He was glad that Buck wouldn’t be counseled by this woman for long; Buck deserved the best and she clearly wasn’t it.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that when I tried to interview Evan yesterday, I remember thinking that he would need a very strong advocate,” Johnson explained. “And it looks like I had my wish granted. You’re perfect.”

Bobby’s anger drained away. “I just wish I knew how to help him.”

“You’ll figure it out,” Rossi assured him. “Those bastards had him for nine months; Evan’s not going to recover immediately.”

“But you don’t need to help Evan alone,” Johnson reassured him. “I have a couple of colleagues in the Los Angeles area I can refer you to. One of them assisted Brenda Chapman after she was recovered.”

The name was familiar. Brenda Chapman had been kidnapped from her bedroom when she was a child by a stranger and wasn’t found until a decade later. She’s been freed several years earlier, had authored a book and made the rounds of morning talk shows. Bobby didn’t necessarily want Buck to take that path, but anyone who’d helped Chapman heal was someone he’d be interested in helping Buck. 

“When can I take Buck home?” Bobby asked Rossi. “You said something about needing a statement, but there’s no way to know long it will be before Buck feels like talking.”

“Here’s the plan,” Rossi said. “This afternoon Buck has another session with Loretta and I believe I heard something about occupational therapy.”

“OT?” Bobby asked. “Why?”

Johnson was the one who answered. “I recommended it. Evan seems to have difficulty doing simple tasks and we’re not sure if that’s because he’s unable to or just not confident enough.”

“From what I’ve seen, I’d say it’s a confidence issue,” Bobby stated. “He’s done some of the things I’ve asked, including taking a shower.”

“That’s good to hear, but it can’t hurt for him to have some interactions with other people,” Johnson stated. “You can stay in the room if you’d like.”

“I definitely like,” Bobby told her. “But ultimately it’s up to Buck.”

“After what we found today, we’ll also see if we can have you and Evan meet with a nutritionist,” Johnson went on to say.

“What else did you find?” Bobby was almost afraid to ask.

“Protein drinks, lots of protein drinks,” Rossi said. “That might be why Evan is still relatively fit even though he’s so thin.”

“And it might be another reason he’s reluctant to eat,” Johnson added. “If he’s only been allowed to subsist on liquids, solids might be a challenge.”

“Tomorrow we’d like to get a statement from Evan or at least try,” Rossi continued. “Maybe he’ll feel settled enough after having you with him.”

Bobby looked at the FBI agent pointedly. “And if he isn’t?”

Rossi shrugged. “Then he isn’t. Believe me, I’m not going to let anyone force the issue. Besides, we have enough on Chippy and his crew as it is. We’d like Evan’s statement to help put the nails in the coffin, but they’re going down with or without it.”

That was welcome news and Bobby let out a long sigh of relief. “That’s good. So I can take him home after tomorrow?”

“Absolutely,” Rossi assured him. “But have you considered how you’re getting him home?”

“Excuse me?”

“Evan doesn’t have any documents,” Rossi pointed out. “Kind of hard getting on a plane without identification and I can’t imagine you’d want to drive all the way back to Los Angeles.”

Bobby felt like an idiot. Buck’s lack of ID hadn’t occurred to him. “Damn.”

Rossi seemed to come to a quick decision. “I tell you what, let me deal with that. When you’re ready to take Evan home, I’ll make sure you can get him there. That’s one thing you don’t have to worry about.”

“Those big blue eyes got to you, didn’t they?” Johnson teased.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rossi protested, but he winked at Bobby.

Bobby felt warmth in his chest. There were good people in the world and he was glad that Buck had been rescued by one.

All three of them heard the water in the bathroom turn off. Bobby went over to the door and gently knocked. 

“Buck, Agent Rossi and Counselor Johnson are here.” Bobby glanced at the other two and spoke more quietly. “I don’t want him to be surprised.”

“Good call,” Rossi assured him.

“How are the others doing?” Bobby asked. “Buck wasn’t the only one rescued, right?”

With privacy issues, there wasn’t much that Bobby could be told, but the three managed to chat awkwardly for the few minutes for it to take for the bathroom door to open. It opened cautiously and Buck poked his face around the door.

“I’m still here,” Bobby said. 

Buck came all the way out of the bathroom. Bobby wasn’t used to seeing the younger man with hair long enough to fall into his eyes. Buck seemed content to leave it there for the moment and Bobby had to wonder if Buck was using the hair to hide behind, even if just a little. 

When Buck came more fully into the room, he had his arms wrapped around himself. The t-shirt and sleep pants were made of thin cotton and it was soon obvious that Buck was shivering. The sight prompted Bobby’s memory.

“Wait a minute, kid,” Bobby told him. He hurried over to his bag and dug through it, finding the hoodie that his wife had sent with him. “Here, Athena had this made for you. She meant to give it to you for Christmas, but well. . . . it’s a good thing she held on to it.”

Buck took the hoodie from Bobby and his eyes widened when he saw the writing on it.

“Yeah, you belong to the LAFD,” Bobby told him. “And we’re not letting you go. Not again.”

Buck smiled shyly and immediately pulled the hoodie over his head. His shivering stopped and Bobby liked to think it had as much to do with what was on the hoodie as well as the warmth of the fabric.

“Looks good on you, kid,” Rossi complimented him. 

“Hey, look at you,” Agent Jareau had come back with the tray. Bobby could see the steam rising from the plates. “I thought you might want to take another try at breakfast.” She put the tray down and picked up something from it. “And look what I brought – plastic utensils.”

Buck sat on the recliner and started to reach for the plastic fork but stopped the movement before he touched it. Buck looked up at Bobby and Bobby could see the question marks in his eyes. 

“Go ahead, you can eat if you want to,” Bobby told him. He didn’t want Buck to feel like he had an audience, so he turned to the FBI agents and counselor. “You’ll send someone for us when it’s time for Buck’s appointment?”

Rossi got the hint and started ushering the two women out. “Sounds like a plan. See you later, kiddo.”

Buck watched until they left and then picked the fork up. He took a small bite of eggs and Bobby could have crowed with victory when Buck reached for another.

“Good stuff?” Bobby asked. He sat down to his own cold breakfast and dug into it willingly, although he eschewed the eggs to eat the fruit and yogurt. 

There was a companionable silence as the two men ate their breakfasts. In the end, Buck only managed to eat half of his, but Bobby thought that just as well. If Buck had been existing on protein shakes, then it was probably best if he started solid food slowly. Bobby was very glad to hear that he’d have a chance to talk to a nutritionist while in the hospital. Bobby could cook just about anything and make it palatable for Buck, but first he had to know what Buck could handle.

By the time he’d finished all that he could, Buck was yawning. Bobby looked at his watch, surprised to realize that it wasn’t even lunchtime yet. It figured that Buck was still exhausted, though. Bobby only hoped that it was evidence that Buck was starting to feel safe.

“Why don’t you take a nap?” Bobby suggested. “We don’t have anything to do until afternoon anyway.”

It didn’t take much convincing to get Buck to lay back again in the blankets. Before he closed his eyes, though, Buck looked at Bobby and raised his eyebrows, asking a silent question.

“I’m not going anywhere, kid,” Bobby assured him. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

He held out a hand and Buck grabbed it with a small smile. To Bobby’s surprise, Buck didn’t let go, instead pulling Bobby’s hand to chest and wrapping himself around it. Whether Buck did it because he found comfort in Bobby’s touch or if he was just ensuring that Bobby didn’t go anywhere, Bobby didn’t know and didn’t care. 

“I’m not going anywhere, kid,” Bobby repeated softly, even though he was pretty sure Buck was already asleep and couldn’t hear him.

Bobby wasn’t going anywhere at all.


	10. Chapter 10

When Buck woke up, he immediately fell into his new routine – looking for Bobby. Like that morning, Bobby was sitting in the chair next to him. Unlike that morning, Bobby was awake. The older man was looking at his phone, but soon realized that he was being watched and put it down. 

“Hey there,” Bobby smiled at Buck. “You hungry?”

Hungry? Hadn’t he just finished breakfast?

Buck’s feelings about eating again must have shown on his face, because Bobby chuckled. “You’ve been asleep for a couple of hours. Don’t worry, though, it’s not a big lunch.”

The food tray was already on the rolling table and that was disconcerting. Its presence meant that someone had come in and out of the room without Buck waking up. Sloppy. Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy.

Bad things happened when Buck was sloppy. He started to shake as memories threatened to overwhelm him.

“Hey, kid, where did you go?” Bobby asked.

Buck flinched. If it was bad being sloppy, then ignoring the person who had control over you was even worse. Buck glanced quickly at the floor, wondering if he could manage to get on his knees before the punishment started. A touch to his arm startled Buck with its gentleness. His eyes darted up and met Bobby’s concerned gaze.

Bobby. Not Carlyle or Cory or some other guard. Bobby, someone that Buck knew, right down to his bones, would never hurt him. Buck’s sigh of relief was almost a sob.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” Bobby apologized, for exactly no reason as far as Buck was concerned. “I don’t think you’re all the way awake yet.”

That wasn’t an acceptable excuse and Buck knew it. He just kept his head down and tried not to hyperventilate. He wasn’t very successful, and Bobby noticed.

“Just breathe, Buck,” Bobby soothed. “Come on, nice and slow. Just imagine you’ve come out of a burning building and have your first taste of clean air. Take your time.”

It took a few minutes, but Buck was able to get his breathing under control. He still had a hard time looking at Bobby, though, and Bobby was having none of it.

“Buck, listen to me, please,” Bobby reassured him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I triggered something and I don’t know how that happened. Until we get a handle on everything, we’re just going to have to be patient with one another. You don’t have anything to be ashamed of, okay?”

Oh, he had plenty to be ashamed about, but Buck wasn’t going to argue with Bobby, even silently. 

“Come on, lunch is waiting,” Bobby moved the wheeled table close and tapped the tray. “It’s not going to taste any better cold.”

Buck looked at it. The tray had considerably less food than it had at breakfast. In addition to a glass of milk, it only held an insulated bowl, some crackers and a banana. It looked like a feast to Buck and he immediately started looking for a catch. The utensils were plastic, though. Uncertain, Buck shot a look at Bobby.

“It’s okay, you can eat it,” Bobby assured him. “Nothing there will hurt you.”

Reluctantly, Buck picked up the plastic spoon as Bobby uncovered the bowl. He was hungry, in a vague kind of way, but had learned to ignore that. The fork might be plastic, but its shape minded him of the agony of a taser being used in his mouth. It was more than that, though. Drugs could be hidden in food and Buck had discovered the hard way to be wary of anything nicer than a protein drink. They usually drugged him before moving locations, but sometimes nastier things had been snuck in. He shuddered, definitely not wanting to remember the Viagra incident.

Eating meant being vulnerable and Buck couldn’t afford to be vulnerable. His continued reluctance did not go unnoticed.

“Here, I’ll prove it to you,” Bobby picked up the bowl. With the lid off, Buck could tell it was full of broth of some kind. “Let me be your taste tester.”

Bobby took a sip from the bowl. His face, which had had an encouraging expression on it, went totally blank. Bobby visibly struggled for a moment and then he spit the soup back into the bowl.

“All right, that’s terrible.” Bobby stated, wiping his mouth. He looked at the paper form that had come with the meal. “Chicken broth? Maybe if they made it with one of those rubber chickens used in practical jokes.”

Buck couldn’t help himself, he laughed. It was little more sound than a breath, but he clapped his hand over his mouth anyway. 

“Oh, that’s the way it’s going to be, is it?” Bobby grinned at Buck, but his face fell a little as he saw Buck’s reaction to his own laughter. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re not in trouble. It’s funny.”

After a few more reassurances, Buck dropped his hand from his mouth and then carefully put the spoon down. Carlyle and Cory might have made Buck eat something that had a little spit in it, but he knew that Bobby never would.

“The soup definitely doesn’t live up to the promise of breakfast,” Bobby said. “I don’t blame you for not wanting this stuff, but you do need to eat, Buck.”

Buck looked away and Bobby sighed.

“I get it. You’re a grown man, so you can decide if you want to eat or not,” Bobby continued. “You’ve been so strong for so long, but you need to stay strong. Healing takes a lot of energy and if you’re going to need it if you want to make your way back on the 118.”

It was like the world stopped when Bobby said those words. Back on the 118? Him? The LAFD had high standards. Even in his wildest dreams before he was rescued, Buck never thought he’d be a firefighter again. How could a whore save people?

With a shaking finger, Buck pointed at his chest.

“Yeah, you,” Bobby confirmed. “You’ll have to pass the tests, both physical and emotional, but I don’t see anything that prevents you from being a fire fighter again.”

Buck’s breath hitched, but not because of dismay. He looked at Bobby with tear-filled eyes. “Me?” he mouthed, still not sure he believed it.

“It might take a while, kid, but I think we can get you there,” Bobby reassured him. “One step at a time and the first step is getting you out of here.”

With renewed determination, Buck grabbed the banana off his tray. He looked it over carefully but couldn’t see any needle marks or other signs that it had been tampered with. He peeled it and took a big bite.

His enthusiasm made Bobby chuckle. “Okay, but don’t hurt yourself. Remember to chew.”

Another tray had been brought for Bobby and it had the same thing as Buck’s. Buck felt kind of bad about that; Bobby deserved better. The two men ate in silence. Buck was amused to see that Bobby didn’t even take the lid off his soup.

When a young man came to their door, Buck thought it was to take the food trays away, until he saw that the man was pushing a wheelchair. 

“I’m here for Evan Buckley.” The young man announced.

Bobby sat straighter in his chair. “And you are?”

“I’m Kyle, OT. If Mr. Buckley’s done with lunch, I’m taking him for his assessment.”

What did he need occupational therapy for? Buck looked to Bobby for an explanation.

“That’s right, I talked about this with your therapist while you were in the shower earlier,” Bobby explained. “She’s the one who ordered it. That okay with you?”

Buck didn’t care one way or another, so he just shrugged and started to get out of bed. He was relieved to see that Bobby also got up. Buck hated to be a baby, but he was glad that Bobby was going with him.

“Great,” Kyle patted the chair. “I just need you to get in and we can go.”

He knew he wasn’t his normal self, but Buck also knew he didn’t need a wheelchair. He hesitated, not daring to protest, but not wanting to appear helpless in front of Bobby either.

“You just need to use the chair until after the assessment,” Kyle told them. “If you get the all clear, you can walk back.”

Buck looked at Bobby again.

“He’s just doing his job, Buck,” the captain assured him. “Besides, I’ll be right with you.”

“You will?” Kyle looked at Bobby in surprise. 

“I will,” Bobby replied firmly. It was a tone of voice that Buck had heard him use many times on the job and it meant business.

“Okay, yes sir,” Kyle couldn’t resist Bobby’s captain voice any more than any member of the 118 could. “Mr. Buckley, if you’ll get seated, we’ll be on our way.”

Grudgingly, Buck got into the chair. The stupid things were never big enough for someone his height. He felt like he could chew on his knees, they were so close to his face. Buck kept his eyes down as they rolled out of his room. At first he felt embarrassed for needing the wheelchair, but as they made their way through the corridor, Buck became increasingly nervous. A stranger was right behind him. Even with Bobby walking next to the chair, Buck felt exposed. He squirmed in the chair, trying to look behind him without being too obvious about it. He should have figured that Bobby would notice.

“Kyle, why don’t you let me push him?” Bobby suggested. Except, it wasn’t exactly a suggestion.

“Sure thing,” Kyle made things easy for himself and didn’t protest.

Buck felt a lot more comfortable with Bobby behind the wheel, so to speak. His relaxation didn’t last long, though, as they continued. The last time he’d been around so many people, he’d been on display and wondering which of them would pay Carlyle the fee to fuck him. It felt like the hospital staff that they encountered along the way looked at him sideways. Buck could only imagine their disgust.

“Easy, kid,” Bobby briefly put a hand on Buck’s shoulder.

Kyle led them to a bank of elevators and then they went to a lower floor. Once there, they were guided into a large room that was full of different stations. The stations were kitted out with varied type of equipment, from a short set of stairs to a kitchenette.

“Okay, what we’re going to do today, Mr. Buckley, is see how you accomplish everyday tasks.” Kyle grabbed a clipboard from the desk at the front of the room. He turned to Bobby. “You’re welcome to stay, sir, but I’ll need you take a seat on the side. It might be tempting to help Mr. Buckley if he needs it, but we’re here to assess him and not you.”

“All right,” Bobby took his seat and winked at Buck. “I know he’s not going to need my help.”

Bobby’s confidence in him settled Buck. At the first few stations, Buck looked back at Bobby, to make sure what he was doing okay. Each time Bobby gave him a confident nod. Between the simplicity of the tasks and Bobby’s ready encouragement, soon Buck was going through the various activities on his own, without needing Bobby’s nod of approval. It was a little embarrassing how easy the tasks were. Things like brushing his hair and going up stairs weren’t activities Buck had done a lot of in the last few months, but he still knew how to do them.

“Well, I think it’s safe to say that you’re one of my star pupils today, Mr. Buckley,” Kyle said when they were finished. “You aced everything.”

It was embarrassing how much the praise meant to Buck.

“I knew he would,” Bobby no longer needed to sit on the sidelines and had joined them at the final station.

“I’ll write up a report for Dr. Johnson, so she’ll have it for your appointment this afternoon,” Kyle said. He stood moved towards the wheelchair. “Let’s get you back to your room now.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Bobby held up a hand, stopping Kyle. “I think between me and Buck, we can find our way back.” When Kyle hesitated, Bobby reminded the therapist of what he’d said earlier. “You said if Buck did well that he wouldn’t need the wheelchair back.”

Kyle smiled sheepishly. “You’re right, I did. It was a pleasure to work with you, Mr. Buckley. I hope you’re released to go home soon.” He held his hand out for Buck to shake and, after looking at it for a moment, Buck took it gingerly.

“Come on, Buck, let’s get going,” Bobby put a hand on the small of Buck’s back to guide him to the door. 

The walk back to the room was much less stressful for Buck. Walking on his own two feet made him feel a little more invisible. Once in a while it felt like he was being given odd looks, but mostly he felt comfortable. 

When they got back to Buck’s room, the lunch trays had been removed. Buck gingerly sat back on the recliner. Bobby, however, looked a little nervous.

“You think I could use your shower?” Bobby finally asked. He scratched behind his head. “I keep thinking they’re going throw me out of here for stinking up the place.”

Buck just nodded his head yes. He didn’t really like the idea of being alone in the room, but didn’t want to let on to Bobby.

“Thanks, Buck.” 

Bobby lost no time in going to his bag and rooting around in it. With his arms full of fresh clothes and a toiletries bag, Bobby headed to the bathroom. He immediately came back out, this time with his phone back in his hand. “Do you want to look through the pictures again?”

Buck nodded his head yes and reached for the phone. Bobby unlocked it and handed it over.

“I’m going to leave the door cracked in case you need anything.”

After Bobby disappeared into the bathroom again, Buck took a deep breath. He could do this. He’d been through a lot worse in the last month. Ignoring the door opening into the room from the corridor, Buck navigated to the photos again and went back to the most recent. These were the pictures that Bobby had already explained and so he wouldn’t have to hold any questions until Bobby got done.

Buck wasn’t to the photo of Christopher yet when Bobby’s phone vibrated from an incoming text. Buck didn’t mean to snoop, but the automatic notification told him who it was from.

Eddie.

The phone shook again, but it wasn’t from the vibration of an incoming text; it was from Buck’s shaking hands. Buck darted a glance at the bathroom door, but it hadn’t moved and he could hear the sound of running water. Bobby wouldn’t be coming back for a few minutes.

Before he could second guess himself, Buck navigated to Bobby’s text app and pulled up the conversation with Eddie. The text was short and just said “How’s our boy?”

Buck stared at the words. He had no doubt that the ‘boy’ Eddie was referring to was him, but it still took a minute for Buck to process that Eddie was asking about him. That blew his mind. Eddie had to know by now that Buck had spent the time since the tsunami on his knees or bending over for Carlyle’s clients. No matter what Bobby said, Buck was tainted. Dirty. Damaged beyond repair. Eddie had no reason to want to know about him. But there, in an electronic text, was the proof.

Emotions slammed through Buck. Shame warred with hope as his fingers hovered over the screen. A few taps of his fingers and he could start a conversation with the man who was his best friend. 

Was his best friend – the operative word in the phrase being ‘was.’ Buck didn’t know what Eddie was to him anymore. Or, rather, he knew what Eddie was to him, but Buck didn’t know what he was to Eddie. Would Eddie want to be friends with a whore? Would Eddie really let his son be around a slut?

Buck navigated back to the photos before turning the phone off. He then gently put it on the table and lay on the recliner with his back to the phone.

Bobby might be the one in the shower, but Buck was the one who felt like he’d never get clean again.


	11. Chapter 11

Bobby couldn’t remember when a shower felt so good.

The water pressure left a lot to be desired. Although the water itself was good and hot, the shower stall was tiny. Bobby had a hard time moving around in it without banging various body parts into the wall. He could only imagine how difficult it had been for a man as tall as Buck to manage. 

Even with all of that, it was still bliss. 

Air travel always left Bobby feeling like he had a pound of dirt on him, but he hadn’t wanted to leave Buck alone long enough that morning to shower. It wasn’t just the lack of physical cleanliness that made the shower so welcome, though. The more Bobby learned about what had been done to Buck and the more he saw of the emotional damage the abuse had caused, Bobby felt unclean spiritually and emotionally too. He wasn’t disgusted with Buck (never with Buck, not for this), but Bobby could feel the exposure to that kind of evil wearing him down.

Success with the occupational therapy had seemed to buoy Buck’s spirits, so Bobby had felt justified in leaving him alone for the few minutes it would take to get himself clean. As good as it felt, Bobby didn’t spend much time under the water; he didn’t want to leave Buck alone any longer than he had to.

After Bobby stepped out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and dared a peek through the crack in the door to make sure Buck was okay. He’d expected the young man to be focused on Bobby’s cell phone, but instead, the phone was sitting unused on the table. Buck was laying on his side with his back towards bathroom and phone alike. The sight left Bobby a little uneasy. Buck had been all but mesmerized by the photos the phone contained earlier, it did not bode well that he’d abandoned them.

Bobby went back to his ablutions, working even faster than before. While he was running the electric razor over his face, it occurred to him that shaving was something that Buck could do for himself. It was clear that he had at least a day’s worth of stubble, something that Bobby had never seen on Buck’s face before. When Bobby packed up his toiletries, he left the razor out as he went out into the main room.

Given the long shifts at the firehouse, Bobby had seen Buck sleep plenty of times and knew what it looked like. Even since arriving in New Orleans, he seen Buck asleep a couple of times and so he was familiar with the traumatized version too. Coming back into the room, Bobby didn’t need to see Buck’s face to know he was faking it, but also didn’t know how to handle it. So many choices had been taken away from Buck in the last nine months that if Buck wanted to retreat by pretending to nap, who was Bobby to say any different?

With an internal sigh, Bobby put the razor down gently on the table, as though he really believed that Buck was asleep. After putting the rest of his stuff away, he went back to his chair and sat. He picked up his phone, intending to text Athena that the OT session had gone well. When he did, Bobby realized that he’d received a text from Eddie and, since it was no longer marked as unread, it meant that Buck had seen it too. The way that Buck had turned away showed just how well that had gone over.

When they thought Buck had died in the tsunami, the whole team had grieved. As captain, it had been Bobby’s job to help them through it, even though his own grief was crushing. He’d worried about them all, but none more than Eddie. The younger firefighter had already experienced one profound loss with Shannon earlier in the year. Losing Buck seemed to push Eddie closer to the edge. The edge of what, Bobby wasn’t sure, but he knew it wasn’t anything good. His concern had been borne out when he’d found out about Eddie’s coping method.

Bobby hadn’t come down too hard on Eddie for the street fighting, not considering everything Eddie was dealing with. Counseling had been mandatory, but Bobby had also made sure to have several heart to heart talks with him too. Because of those, Bobby knew that Buck hadn’t just been Eddie’s best friend. Or at least, Eddie hadn’t wanted Buck to just be his best friend, he’d admitted to Bobby that he wanted more. Not acting on those feelings and not knowing if Buck returned them had haunted Eddie. 

During Buck’s 1.0 phase, Bobby had become convinced that the young man would have sex with basically anyone of consenting age that wanted to. As Buck matured into Buck 2.0, Bobby wasn’t so sure that Buck would be open to having a relationship with another man, but there was no denying how close he and Eddie had become. What the traffickers had done might have ruined any possibility for Buck to be interested in a male romantic relationship; although, honestly, Buck 3.0 was too fragile for Bobby to imagine him wanting a relationship with anyone, man or woman. That was another thing the traffickers had to answer for.

Despite the direction his thoughts had taken, Bobby texted Athena first. He might have sympathy for Eddie’s plight, but Bobby had to go home to his wife and he did not want to contemplate what that would be like if he were to answer Eddie’s questions before Athena’s.

Bobby updated Athena about how well the OT assessment had gone and also reported on getting Buck to eat, if only a little. Her response was almost immediate, which told Bobby a lot about his wife’s state of mind. 

When she learned how much Buck had enjoyed the photos, Athena suggested setting up a text group so that the whole family could send in pictures and messages for Buck to look at. Bobby was enthusiastic about the suggestion, although he was also very happy that his phone was on an unlimited data plan. He also promised to let her know if he found out any more on a firm date and time that Buck would be cleared to go back to LA.

After finishing the conversation with Athena, Bobby responded to Eddie. He hesitated over how much to say, but ultimately went with a ‘less is more’ philosophy. If Buck was going to continue to use Bobby’s phone, he didn’t want the young man to see anything that might upset him, so Bobby just told Eddie that Buck was as well as could be expected, given the circumstances.

Knowing that he best prepare for an onslaught of photos, Bobby went back to his duffle and got out his phone charger. He retrieved it and had his phone plugged in when the first wave of texts with photos came in. Soon his phone was vibrating like crazy from notifications and Bobby smiled fondly. The rest of the team was desperate to do something to help Buck. Once given something concrete that they help with, they’d acted enthusiastically.

As Bobby’s phone continued to buzz, the sound had an unexpected consequence. Buck gave up pretending to sleep and turned back to face Bobby. The concern was obvious in Buck’s eyes and Bobby was confused for a moment at that reaction. Then he realized that a phone blowing up like his was doing was often a harbinger of bad news.

“Everything’s okay,” Bobby reassured Buck. When he continued, Bobby’s tone was sheepish. “I mentioned to Athena how much you’d enjoyed looking at pictures and the next thing you know,” he held up the cell phone, which was vibrating with yet another text notification. “I’ve got more photos than I know how to handle.”

Buck didn’t react the way that Bobby thought he would. Instead of being excited about new photos, Buck frowned and looked away. Bobby considered it for a moment and thought he knew why. He had a feeling it was part of the same line of thinking that had Buck turning away from seeing a text from Eddie. Misplaced shame.

“You know, Buck, people are going to find out that you’re alive,” Bobby said. “It’s a given. I know why you might have mixed feelings about some portions of that, but the people who love you? They’re overjoyed to have you back and I hope you’ll let yourself feel that.” 

His comments got Bobby a side glance, but no lessening of the tension in Buck’s body. It was time to change tactics. If there was one thing that was always consistent with Buck, it was how he cared for others. 

“I’ve been really worried about Eddie,” Bobby said. He noticed an immediate lifting of Buck’s head at the mention of Eddie’s name. “Losing Shannon was already a lot for him to handle and, more than that, helping Christopher cope with her death. When he thought you’d died saving his son, well, Eddie didn’t take it well.”

By the time Bobby had finished, Buck was looking at him. Bobby smiled sadly.

“I won’t say any more about that, it’s Eddie’s story to tell.” Bobby said. “But Eddie had the rest of his team to help him get through it, once he let us. Now he wants to help you; we all do. Please don’t push us away.”

Buck looked down for a moment, but then lifted his head and held out his hand for the phone. Bobby happily handed it over. Soon they both were bent over the small screen, Buck eagerly looking at the photos and Bobby doing his best to explain them. 

They were interrupted by someone coming to the room and knocking on the doorframe. Bobby bit back a curse; how could anyone hope to recover in a hospital, mentally or physically, when there were so many disruptions?

This time it was Lynette Johnson, Buck’s counselor.

“Wow, what a difference a day makes,” she said as she entered the room. “Evan, I’m impressed with your progress.”

To Bobby, Buck still seemed terribly withdrawn and tentative, For the counselor to see a vast improvement in him made Bobby happy that he hadn’t seen Buck when he’d first been rescued. He didn’t know if his heart could have taken it.

“Are you ready to have a session?” Johnson asked. Her question was directed to Buck, although she did glance at Bobby after she’d spoken.

Buck shrugged but moved off the bed readily enough. Bobby wasn’t sure if it was willingness on the younger man’s part or if obedience had just been ingrained in him. Bobby rose to join him.

“I’ll walk you down,” Bobby stated. It wasn’t a question and he hoped that his tone made it clear that being left behind wasn’t an option.

Apparently, he was successful because Johnson simply nodded and started to lead them down the corridor. Unlike that morning, however, they didn’t go far. Instead, they only passed by the nurse’s station, went down another hallway and into a conference room. Bobby recognized it as a consultation room that doctors used when they had to discuss private details with families. Every hospital ward that Bobby had been in had one.

“I don’t have an office of my own at this facility,” Johnson explained as she gestured Buck inside. “I specialize in working with trafficking victims, so I was brought in on a temporary basis for this operation. The hospital was kind enough to provide me with a private space I could use while I’m here.”

Buck stopped partway through the door and looked back at Bobby, his blue eyes shadowed by visible anxiety. Bobby winced. He would have thought that a woman would be less intimidating than a male counselor would have been, but Buck was far more uneasy around Johnson than he had been about the occupational therapist earlier. 

And then Bobby remembered. He’d sent Buck to therapy after Buck had lost a victim for the first time and only found out later that Buck’d had sex with his therapist. It was bad enough at the time; Bobby had been so upset that he’d reported the woman when he found out about it despite Buck insisting that the act was consensual. Now, though, Bobby could see where Buck would be worried. If he’d had sex with one female counselor, would he be expected to have sex with this one?

“Buck, do you want me to come in with you?” Bobby asked. Buck looked relieved and nodded his head.

“Absolutely, Captain Nash, come right in,” Johnson didn’t seem at all put out by Bobby accompanying Buck into the session.

The room had a temporary feel to it. There was a conference table instead of a desk, no personal items at all and the kind of artwork that was clearly meant to have more soothing characteristics than anything to do with personality. Johnson seated herself on one side of the table and gestured for Buck and Bobby to take the other.

“Evan, I was never meant to be your permanent counselor,” Johnson explained as they all settled into their chairs. “My function here was more to triage you, as it were. To see if you were a danger to yourself or others until such a time as you go home and can obtain your own therapist.”

She paused, clearly waiting for Buck to speak. When he didn’t, Bobby cleared his throat.

“I think Buck’s doing really well,” Bobby stated, more for Buck’s benefit than the counselor’s. “I’m both impressed and proud.”

Buck blushed and looked down.

“As well you should be,” Johnson readily agreed. “He’s obviously a very strong and resilient young man.” She turned her attention back to Buck. “Evan, do you have any questions?”

If he did, Buck didn’t say. He just shrugged.

“Has anyone tried giving you something to write with?” The counselor asked. 

Bobby could have kicked himself – how had he not thought of that himself?

When Buck just shook his head no, Johnson took a pad and pen from where they were sitting on the side of the table and slid them over. Buck took the items, but just looked at them blankly. After a few moments he started to shake and roughly slid the pad and paper back.

It was a disappointing reaction and one that Bobby didn’t really understand. Luckily, he didn’t have to.

“That’s okay, Evan,” Johnson said. “Frankly, I would have been more surprised had you suddenly started jotting things down.”

“Why’s that?” Bobby asked.

“Think of everything Evan’s been through in the last couple of days, much less the last nine months,” Johnson explained. She addressed her next words directly to Buck. “With that much to deal with, some people feel overwhelmed, so much so that when they try to talk, everything seems to be too much. The words get stuck in their throat or their fingers forget how to write.”

Buck nodded and looked relieved.

“So it’s not something we should be worried about?” Bobby asked.

Johnson smiled. “Not until it starts to worry Evan or become a problem for him. When he begins to feel more secure, that he’s truly been rescued, I think he’ll see the words start to come again.”

“All right,” Bobby told himself to set that worry aside for the time being. It bothered him to see the normally talkative Buck be silent, but that was Bobby’s problem and not Buck’s. 

“This isn’t going to be a traditional session,” Johnson went on to say. “Since you both will be going home tomorrow, I thought it would be more beneficial to go over some logistics and other details.”

“Wait a minute,” Bobby interrupted. “When you say ‘going home tomorrow,’ do you mean that Buck will be released from the hospital or that we’ll be going back to LA?”

“Both,” Johnson answered and then went on to explain. “Agent Rossi told me to expect that Evan will be leaving for California tomorrow, later afternoon or early evening. I take it he hasn’t said anything to you?”

“No, not since this morning” Bobby replied. He looked at Buck, making sure that the young man believed him. The last thing Buck needed was to think that Bobby was going behind his back. “He said he’d work on arranging travel for us, but I didn’t think it could happen so quickly.”

Johnson sighed. “Please don’t take it personally; taking down a large trafficking operation like this one is a big task. Things get very busy, very quickly. Add in the complication that some of those being trafficked were kidnapped during a natural disaster, it brings another layer of complexity. I’m sure that Agent Rossi would have told you ASAP. In fact, he probably was counting on me to inform you.”

Bobby noticed that Buck lifted his head and stared at Johnson intently after she spoke. Bobby went over the counselor’s words to try and figure out what she’d said that would catch Buck’s attention that keenly. It didn’t take much effort to figure out what it was.

“That sounded like a plural,” Bobby pointed out. “Buck wasn’t the only one that they kidnapped during the tsunami?”

Johnson visibly chose her words carefully. “I can’t give you any details, but yes, there were at least a couple of other people rescued yesterday that had been grabbed in LA.”

Seeing Buck becoming increasingly agitated, Bobby pressed. “How many? They might be people that Buck knows.”

“I’m sorry, I really have to respect their privacy,” Johnson said firmly. “Now I can tell you, Evan, that your fast HIV test came back negative. You’ll need to be tested again later in case you were exposed to the virus in the last few days, but it’s a very good sign. Additionally, the doctor who examined you when you came in didn’t see any evidence of STDs. The blood work on those won’t come back for another 24-48 hours, but there’s a good chance you’re clear of those as well.”

Bobby knew he should be relieved. The traffickers had enslaved and tortured Buck for months, but at least they hadn’t addicted him and there was a good chance they hadn’t exposed him to disease. Bobby didn’t think for a minute, however, that the traffickers had done either of those things out of the goodness of their hearts. It had benefited their business to keep Buck clean, not concern for the young man’s wellbeing.

Buck look equally unimpressed. His only reaction was to shrug. Bobby was getting very tired of seeing those.

Johnson didn’t seem to be concerned about their lack of reaction and went on. “My assessment of you, Evan, is that you have a lot of healing to do, but also that you have a lot of resources to draw on while you go about it. At this time, I am not going to recommend that the power of attorney that Captain Nash holds to be invoked, although I’m also recommending that you be reassessed by your primary therapist when you have one.” She looked at Buck and then Bobby sternly. “Not getting a therapist is not an option.”

“How did you know that I’m Buck’s power of attorney?” Bobby asked. It hadn’t occurred to him to bring any documentation for that, or that he held Buck’s healthcare directive too.

“The FBI is very thorough,” Johnson grinned at him. “Or one Penelope Garcia is. The hospital and the agency had copies of the documents before you ever got here. Why do you there was no red tape or that you were granted immediate access to all aspects of Evan’s treatment?”

Again, it wasn’t something that Bobby had thought about. Now that he had, it was a little disconcerting. He wasn’t sure who the Penelope Garcia was that Johnson mentioned, but he was already a little scared of what she could do.

“It is my strongest recommendation, however, that you not live alone right now, Evan,” Johnson continued. “Living alone when you’re not talking is not a good idea, but more importantly, you need a lot of support for the time being.”

Buck frowned, even though he hadn’t seemed at all upset to have Bobby with him. Quite the opposite, actually. It occurred to Bobby that Buck didn’t realize that he didn’t have an apartment anymore.

“Maddie kept your apartment for as long as she could, Buck,” Bobby told the younger man. “After you’d been gone for months, though, and the lease came up, she had to let it go.” Buck looked dismayed, so Bobby was quick to add an important detail. “We still have your stuff, though. We each took some, so you won’t have to start over.”

“So you’re saying Evan doesn’t have a place to live at the moment?”

“No, I’m saying he has at least three places to live,” Bobby retorted. “Buck, Athena and I would like you stay with us. Maddie and Chim bought a house together, so they want you to come live with them and Eddie wants you with him and Chris. The only one who hasn’t offered is Hen and that’s only because, with the foster kids, they have to vet everyone who lives at their house with the state.”

“It’s always good to have options,” Johnson smiled at Buck. “If I may, though, I’d like to suggest that Evan start out with you, Captain Nash. He’s obviously very at ease with you. After he settles a bit, he may want to go elsewhere, but for now, security and consistency are key.”

“What do you say, Buck?” Bobby asked. He wanted to do his best to make sure that Buck felt, not only part of the conversation, but also that he had the final say. “You want to come live with Athena and me?”

Buck was blushing, but he nodded yes.

“Good, thank you,” Bobby said. “It’ll be great to have a sous chef in the house. Besides, I don’t think that Athena will be willing to let you leave her sight ever again.”

And if Athena was the only one who wouldn’t want to let Buck out of sight again, Buck didn’t need to know that.

“Well, it sounds like that is settled,” Johnson looked pleased. “Evan, Agent Rossi was hoping to talk to you tomorrow. I believe he has some photos he’d like to show you. Do you feel up for that? Don’t worry if you don’t; I have to give the all clear that you’re up for it and if you’re not, I simply tell him no.”

Buck nodded his head yes and Bobby liked the determined set of Buck’s jaw. Good. Buck wanted to put the bastards away as much as Bobby did.

“Evan, have you been in contact with anyone other than Captain Nash?” Johnson asked. “I know that talking on the telephone isn’t an option right now but listening ought to be a possibility.”

Buck squirmed in his seat and Bobby immediately recalled how Buck had withdrawn at just seeing a text from Eddie. Luckily, Bobby had since thought of something that might help. It was a little bit of a cheat, but a cheat that Bobby was willing to use.

“Maddie has something she wants to tell you,” Bobby turned to Buck. “She told me that I could, but I think she’d be a lot happier if it came from her. I could call and you wouldn’t have to say anything, just listen.”

It took a moment, but Buck eventually bit his lip and nodded his head. It wasn’t the most enthusiastic of nods, but Bobby would take what he could get.

“How about we use Facetime?” Bobby was already reaching for his phone. “You can sit off to the side so she doesn’t see you, but you might be able to see Maddie. Would you like that?”

“That sounds like an excellent idea. I can even hold the phone if you like.” 

Bobby jumped, having forgotten in his enthusiasm for the idea that the counselor was even in the room. “What do you think, Buck?”

Again, Buck gave a slight nod and Bobby felt like crowing in victory. “Good. Let me just send a text and make sure she’s available.”

He did send a text, but Bobby sent it to Chim instead of Maddie. It was bound to be an emotional call for Maddie, and he wanted to make sure that not only was she was available, but she had her husband with her for support. Maddie was a Buckley and stubborn to the core, so Bobby knew he was more likely to get a honest answer from Chim. It didn’t take long. Like with Athena earlier, Bobby had an answer within moments and looked up at Buck with a grin.

“You ready?”

Buck took a deep breath and nodded. Even sitting a few feet away, Bobby could see that there were already tears in Buck’s eyes. He felt bad that just the idea of a conversation with his sister was enough to upset Buck so much, but Bobby also knew that in a few minutes those tears would become tears of joy.

It didn’t take long for them to get positioned and then the call was going through. Bobby looked at Maddie’s face when she answered; she was practically glowing and not just because she was pregnant.

“Buck?” She said anxiously, eyes casting around for sight of her brother.

Bobby didn’t take it personally. “He’s feeling a little shy at the moment, but he can hear you.”

That was most definitely true. As soon as Maddie spoke, Buck’s tears had started overflowing. He was sitting in his chair with his arms wrapped around himself, but Bobby could see that Buck was shaking.

Maddie didn’t waste time trying to convince Bobby to let her see Buck. Instead, she just started talking.

“Buck, I am so happy you’re alive. I love you little brother, I love you so much,” Maddie’s was also crying. “When I see you, I’m going to hug you so hard and I’m not ever going to let go. I’m sorry, Buck, I’m so sorry that I thought you were dead. I’m sorry those terrible people took you. I’ll spend the rest of our lives making it up to you.”

As she apologized, Buck frantically started shaking his head no and Bobby had no trouble knowing why.

“I think Buck wants you to know you have nothing to be sorry for,” Bobby interpreted for the young man. He then added the understatement of the year. “He’s very happy to hear your voice.”

“Buck, I’m also sorry that I wasn’t able to come to New Orleans,” Maddie went on to say. “You see, my doctor doesn’t want me to fly right now.” Bobby could see Maddie’s smile and it was brilliant. “Oh my god, I never thought I’d get to tell you this, but I’m pregnant. You’re going to be an uncle.”

Bobby was watching for Buck’s reaction and it didn’t disappoint. The young man startled so badly that he almost fell off his chair. He recovered quickly and mouth ‘pregnant’ to Bobby.

“You heard her right, Maddie’s pregnant,” Bobby felt himself tear up at being able to provide Buck with some much-needed good news. After confirming it for Buck, Bobby turned back to Maddie. “You have his attention.”

Maddie laughed through her tears. “I’m not only pregnant, Buck, I’m very pregnant. Twins. Both boys.”

Buck made a gesture with his hand, sketching out the size of a big belly. Bobby laughed.

“I suggest you not do that in front of your sister.”

Bobby watched with bated breath as Buck got up from his chair and walked to Bobby. With deliberation, Buck leaned in until he was in sight of the phone. With a clear view of Maddie, he reached out and tentatively touched the phone.

“There you are,” Maddie’s voice was choked. On her side, she also reached out and touched the phone. “You’re really real. You’re alive.”

“Hi.”

It was barely a whisper, but Bobby heard it. So did Maddie. 

“Hi yourself.” She wiped at her face. “It’s so good to see you.”

Buck nodded and looked back at Bobby with obvious need.

“We’re coming home tomorrow,” Bobby told her. “Buck’s therapist thinks it would be best for him to stay with Athena and me at first, but I’m sure he’ll want to see you.”

Maddie’s nose scrunched up. “I’m on bedrest, you’ll have to bring him to me.” Buck made a small noise of dismay and she was quick to reassure him. “I’m okay, Buck, promise. It’s not unusual for women pregnant with twins to be put on bed rest. Me and the babies are fine. Chim’s looking out for us.”

Buck was standing close enough that Bobby could feel small tremors running the younger man’s body and thought it might be good to finish the call. From the strain on Maddie’s face, it would probably be best for her too.

“I’ll let you know when I have the rest of the travel plans,” Bobby assured her. “Or I’ll tell Athena and she’ll let you know.”

“You better,” Maddie softened the threat with another smile. “I’ll see you soon baby brother. Call whenever you want.”

Buck kissed his fingers and then touched the screen again. Bobby gently severed the connection and took the phone from Johnson before handing it to Buck. Maybe it was silly to think that just holding it could help Buck feel closer to his sister, but if there was even a chance that was true, Bobby would take it.

There was an emotion-laden vibe in the room, which Johnson broke. “That went well, I think. Evan, I’d call that proof that your family is eager to have you back.”

Buck went back to his chair and sat down. He wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his sweatshirt, that action making him look much younger than he was.

“Since your sister enjoyed seeing you so much, what about sending a picture to your other friends?” She suggested.

Bobby wasn’t sure. “Just a photo?”

“Yes, I’m not suggesting any more phone calls, not yet,” Johnson looked at Buck. “After being gone for months, it might be best to ease you into it.”

Buck wiped his eyes again but did finally nod his head and handed the phone to Johnson. He gestured between himself and Bobby, making it clear that he wanted Bobby in the shot too.

“Wonderful,” Johnson waited for Bobby to get up and go to Buck. 

He crouched next to Buck’s chair, but was careful not to touch the younger man.

“Okay, smile,” Johnson instructed. A light flashed and she looked at the resulting photo. “Perfect.”

Bobby was pleased that Johnson handed the phone back to Buck. Buck looked at the photo, before turning it towards Bobby so he could see.

In the picture, Bobby was smiling more widely than Buck, but there was definitely an upward tick to Buck’s lips. It was a ghost of a smile, but Bobby knew it would mean the world to the people back home.

“Go ahead and send it if you like,” Bobby told him.

Buck’s attention went back to the phone and his fingers were busy. Bobby knew he didn’t need to tell the younger man to send the photo to the same group that had been texting photos in. 

As Buck was focused on the phone, Bobby turned back to the counselor. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” she responded. “It truly is good to see how far that Evan has come in such a short amount of time. All of that is testament to his strength – and his trust in you.”

“I will do whatever it takes to help him,” Bobby vowed.

“I know you will. Better yet, he knows you will too.” 

Bobby exchanged a smile with the counselor and then she turned back to business.

“I have the therapist recommendations for you that I promised earlier,” Since Buck was still busy with the phone, Johnson gave Bobby a folder. “I also have a list of book recommendations in there. Maybe reading how other survivors have fared will help Evan.” 

After Buck finished sending the photo, Johnson stood up and offered him her hand. “I wish you the very best in your recovery, Evan. I’m confident that you have the support that you need.”

After leaving her, the two men walked back to Buck’s room. As they did, Bobby smiled as he remembered the joy of the two Buckley’s reunion, even if it was over the phone. 

It was a beginning


	12. Chapter 12

Athena drained the pasta using a colander, turning her face away from the steam that rose. Pasta was more Bobby’s forte than hers, but it was also a favorite of Buck’s and that seemed fitting for the team dinner where Buck was going to be the main topic of conversation. Given the short notice, she’d considered just ordering in, but that didn’t feel right. In the end, she asked her friends to bring other components to the meal, so it wasn’t too much of a burden on any one person.

The doorbell rang and Athena hurried to answer. It was Hen and Karen. One of them was carrying a large bowl of Caesar salad, while the other had a basket full of ciabatta rolls. It was difficult doing a three-way hug while two of them were carrying things, but the women were nothing if not determined. They managed. After having just had one friend come back from the dead, Athena was determined not to take any of her other friends for granted.

“Come on in and put that down on the table,” Athena informed them. The doorbell rang again. “I have the laptop set up, if one of you would Skype Chim and Maddie?” 

Given the stress level that Maddie was experiencing, her doctor had put her on bed rest and Chim refused to leave her so soon after hearing the momentous news about Buck. They couldn’t very well have a discussion about Buck without his sister, though, and so Skype had been the compromise.

Athena went to the door. Since Eddie was the only other 118 team member expected to be coming, she wasn’t too surprised to open it and find him there. Eddie wasn’t alone, however, and that was unexpected. Athena wasn’t very familiar with Carla Price, but she’d met her a few times and knew Carla was a close friend of Buck’s.

“I thought Carla should know,” Eddie said, his expression a combination of defiance and sheepishness.

“Absolutely,” Athena agreed. “Welcome, Carla.”

“Thank you,” Carla’s eyes were red rimmed. “We brought dessert.”

Eddie held up a bakery box and Athena could see through the clear panel on the lid that it held cupcakes. Not just any cupcakes, either. They were red velvet, Buck’s favorite. Athena’s smile got a bit watery as she remembered the awe in Buck’s voice when he’d had them the first time. ‘They’re like chocolate, but red,’ Buck had announced with wide eyes, as though his mind was utterly blown.

Pasta. Caesar salad. Red velvet. Each of them had contributed one of Buck’s favorite things.

Eddie seemed shocked when Athena pulled him in for a quick hug, but he didn’t protest. Athena supposed she couldn’t blame him for being surprised; she wasn’t as close to Eddie as she was with the team members who’d been with the 118 longer. Carla, on the other hand, leaned into the hug when it was her turn, even though she’d knew Athena only marginally. Maybe it was because Carla was so accustomed to supporting other people that she craved any opportunity to be on the receiving end.

“Come on in, the others are in the dining area,” Athena gestured for them to follow her. “We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

Not only had Hen and Karen booted up the Skype connection to Maddie, but they’d also set the table. Athena smiled gratefully at them before going into the kitchen proper and getting the pasta. It was simple, just penne pasta with marinara sauce and a liberal amount of cheese, but Athena knew they wouldn’t be focused on the food anyway.

Once they were all seated, Athena reached out a hand to either side. Soon they’d all clasped hands and once they had, Athena bowed her head and prayed out loud. She knew that not all of her friends were as religiously observant as she was, but getting Buck back was a miracle and Athena felt like prayer was the appropriate response. Whether the others felt that way or not, no one protested. In fact, when Athena was done, they all remained silent.

“Come on, eat up,” Athena encouraged them. “Something tells me that we’re going to need all of our strength to help Buck through this.”

Food started getting passed around. On the laptop, Maddie and Chim could be seen, but it was obvious they weren’t eating. Athena decided to take advantage of that.

“Maddie, why don’t you tell us your news while we eat?”

Maddie didn’t need to be told twice. Her face glowed with excitement. “I talked to Buck! Bobby called me and we used Facetime, so I actually saw him too.”

“How was he?” Eddie asked, putting his fork down and staring intently at the laptop.

“Quiet and thin,” Maddie had been grinning broadly, but her smile faltered as she remembered her brother’s condition. “He didn’t even want me to be able to see him at first. He hid off to the side.”  
“He changed his mind once Maddie announced that she was pregnant, though,” Chim added smugly.

“Did he speak?” Hen asked. Like all of them, she clearly found the idea of a silenced Buck disturbing.

“Kind of,” Maddie told the group. “He said ‘hi.’”

“Whispered it, actually,” Chim said. “I’ve never heard Buck talk so softly before. Didn’t know he was capable of it.”

After Hen and Ed/die dug every detail they could out of Maddie, Athena told the group about the update she had from Bobby and that Buck and Bobby would probably be returning to Los Angeles the next day. She also broke the news that Buck would be staying with her and Bobby, at least for the time being.

“It was the therapist’s recommendation,” Athena stated when Eddie glared at her. “It’s just until Buck gets his feet back under him and starts feeling comfortable with more people.”

“Buck will be going into therapy once he comes home, right?” Karen asked. “I can’t even imagine how much he’s got to process from his experience.”

“Yes. Bobby’s coming home with a list of recommendations,” Athena confirmed. “He needs to get that started right away. They also have a meeting with a nutritionist tomorrow, so I imagine there will be some dietary things he’ll need to follow.”

“He’ll need to replace his driver’s license,” Hen said. “Buck’ll need to figure out his insurance status too, it’s not like he could apply for COBRA while he was gone.”

“And his status with the LAFD will need to be checked,” Chim added.

“His clothes, I need to find those boxes.”

“Who else do we tell that he’s alive?”

“How do we break the news to our kids?”

The conversation was full of questions, and not a lot of answers. One topic would be raised, and it would lead to three more. Nine months was a long time for someone to be missing; getting Buck back to his everyday life was not going to be simple. By the time they were finished eating, Athena’s head was spinning. 

Eventually the discussion wound down as the group realized the challenge ahead of them.

“Where do we even begin?” Athena asked. It was meant as a rhetorical question and she wasn’t really expecting an answer – but she got one anyway.

“I think we have a good start,” Karen replied. 

Hen was sitting next to Athena and Karen was next to Hen, so Athena hadn’t had a good view of the other woman during the meal or the discussion. She’d vaguely been aware of Karen jotting things down on a notebook she’d brought with her, but hadn’t thought much of it. That was about to change.

“The way I see it, Buck has immediate needs and long-term needs,” Karen went on. “Immediate, he needs a place to stay and Athena and Bobby have already taken care of that.” She looked up at Athena. “I remember someone saying that Bobby reported that Buck isn’t wanting to sleep in a bed right now. Do you have a recliner or some other alternative he can use?”

“Y-yes,” Athena answered, startled by Karen’s disconcerting efficiency. “Michael stayed with us a lot when he was having chemotherapy and there were times he was more comfortable sitting up. It’s downstairs.”

“Okay, if it needs to be moved to the room Buck will be staying, we’ll do that before everyone leaves,” Karen made a note and was about to speak again when she got a good look at Athena’s face. “What?”

“No offense, but where did all of this come from?” Athena gestured at Karen’s notebook. Karen was no wallflower, but neither had Athena seen her utterly take control of a situation either.

“I’m a project manager,” Karen said with mild exasperation. “Making order out of chaos is what I do. Breaking projects down into manageable pieces and coordinating available resources to fulfill needs is all part of the job. I took notes while you all were talking and some patterns emerged.”

“I vote Karen as captain of Team Buck,” Chim said.

Hen picked up Karen’s hand, the one not holding a pen, and kissed the back of it. “That’s my lady.”

Karen rolled her eyes, but looked pleased at the same time. “Can I get on with it?”

Athena nodded. “Please do.”

“The next thing is food, but we won’t know more about that until Bobby’s meeting with the nutritionist tomorrow. Maddie, will you be available tomorrow? It might be good to see if you could call and be on speaker phone for the meeting with the nutritionist; that way we can know Buck’s exact needs before he gets here so someone can do any grocery shopping that’s needed.”

“I have a follow-up with my ob/gyn, but that’s not until later in the afternoon,” Maddie added. “I’ll check with Bobby to see about participating in the nutritionist meeting.”

Karen checked her list again. “Another immediate need is clothing.”

“That’d be me too,” Maddie spoke up. “Chim and I took Buck’s clothes when we cleaned out the apartment.” They could see her glance at Chim. “We overnighted an outfit to the hospital in New Orleans, but the rest of it needs to be washed. It’s been in boxes for almost a year.”

“You are not doing laundry; you’re on bed rest,” Chim was unusually serious. “I’m on shift tomorrow; I can drop it by a laundry service.”

No doubt Chim would have wanted to take more time off, but Athena figured that he was hoarding his time for when the twins arrived.

“That’s crazy, you’ll get charged an arm and a leg for that,” Carla piped up. “I can wash clothes.”

“But Carla,” Maddie started to protest.

“Don’t ‘but Carla’ me,” Carla cut her off with a huff, but mellowed when she saw the expression on Maddie’s face. “I know you want to do something for your brother. Well, so do I. I tell you what, I’ll come to your house and we’ll wash the clothes there. I can do the washing and hauling and you can fold while you’re on the bed. We’ll have us a good talk and maybe a good cry or two.”

“Okay,” Maddie’s voice was muffled and Athena suspected that the other woman had already started on the ‘good cry’ part.

“All right, the last one I made note of was a phone,” Karen told them. “We all know that Buck is using Bobby’s, but that’s not going to work for very long.”

“Getting Buck his own phone might help him open up to us,” Hen suggested. They’d all loved getting the picture of Buck and Bobby, but were keenly aware that no message had accompanied it. “Sometimes it’s easier to communicate by text or email than it is in person. It might be less scary for Buck that way.” She shot a quick look at Athena. “Besides, I’m sure that Bobby would like to send private messages and that’s not possible while Buck’s using his.”

“I’ll take care of that,” Eddie promised. “I doubt I’ll be able to get his old phone number back, but at least I can have him set up with something new.”

“I think that covers immediate needs, unless I missed something,” Karen eyed the room, but no one spoke up. “On to long-term needs and number one on that list has got to be solidifying Buck’s status with the LAFD. That will establish if he has health care, any back pay, and any possibility of future employment.”

“I’ll start that one,” Chim volunteered. “I know that Bobby’s the best one for it, but he’s going to have his hands full for the next few days.”

“The chief already knows,” Athena reminded them. “Believe me, he’s well aware of potential repercussions should the department try to shortchange Buck in any way.” 

Athena should know, she was the one who’d made him aware, in no uncertain terms, of what might happen if he did. Not that the chief didn’t care about his firefighters, but a department head like that had to be a political creature, to a greater or lesser extent. It was better to be safe than sorry.

Karen jotted something else down in her notebook. “Buck will also need to get copies of his driver’s license and other identification.”

“I’ll look into that,” Hen offered. “Buckaroo’s going to have to do a lot of that in person, but I can do the research on what he’s going to need.”

“And what about the media?” Karen asked. “Are we prepared for what might happen when they find out about the story?”

Eddie snorted. “As if anyone can prepare for the media. They’re blood thirsty.”

“Relentless,” Carla added.

“Hopefully Buck will be harder to track down since he’ll be staying here,” Athena said.

“Taylor Kelly knows that Bobby and Buck are close,” Hen disagreed. “That might be a problem.”

They all knew that Kelly had leveraged her rescue by the 118 from a traffic helicopter crash into an on-air story profiling the team. The story had been successful enough to change the trajectory of Kelly’s career. As a result, Taylor Kelly had left traffic reports far behind and was frequently on the local news, although she hadn’t quite reached the status of an investigative reporter. Not yet. No one doubted for a minute that an ambitious reporter like Kelly would try to use her connection to Buck like a steppingstone to further her career. 

“If Taylor Kelly comes sniffing around, you just leave her to me,” Athena promised. “She will rue the day she ever darkened Buck’s door.”

Her statement wasn’t questioned. Tayler Kelly was ambitious, but if she went up against Athena, there was no doubt about who would come up the winner in that confrontation.

“I’d pay to see that,” Chim was speaking softly, but his comment still came through the laptop. So did the image of Maddie slapping him on the shoulder.

“I think that’s all we can do for now,” Athena said nodding her thanks to Karen. “I’m sure more will come up once Buck’s actually back, but we just don’t know exactly what we’re up against yet.”

There was a general murmur of agreement around the table and from the laptop.

“After I get Buck his own phone, we should keep that group text,” Eddie suggested. “Most of us work together, but it would help deal with things as they come up.”

“Agreed,” Athena said. She looked around the table, heart swelling with affection for the people seated there. It would take all of them to bring Buck back and their dedication was inspiring. But she also needed to know that they were taking care of themselves. “And how did your own therapy appointments go?”

“It helped” Hen answered. “I think we’re going to be keeping Frank very busy for a while.”

The others seemed to agree, although they didn’t add to what Hen had said. Athena sighed but didn’t press for details. She was hurting too and knew there would be no quick fix.

“Why don’t I help you move that chair before we go?” Eddie said to Athena.

Athena pushed back her chair and got up. “Actually, I think it’s the bed that needs to be moved, not the chair.”

They’d set up a suite for Michael downstairs, for when his chemo treatments got to be too much and he needed assistance. Athena led Eddie there, with Carla trailing behind. Entering the room caused all sorts of emotions to well up in Athena as memories of that time came to the fore. Fear for her ex-husband’s life. Pride in how her family had rallied around him. And admiration for Michael’s strength. 

“This is perfect,” Carla stated when Athena turned the light on and she and Eddie could see inside. 

The room had been a study at one time and still had something of that feel. The built-in bookshelves had been cleared off in order to hold Michael’s medical equipment and some of his persona effects. Since it was no longer being used as a sick room, those were gone and the shelves were empty. The room also held a wall-mounted television and small dorm-sized refrigerator. Since it wasn’t originally meant to be a bedroom, there wasn’t a closet, but they’d added a wardrobe that could function for that purpose.

The biggest items in the room were a twin-sized bed and a large recliner. Their presence made the room feel crowded. At the time both had been needed, but Athena knew that it would be best to remove one and Buck’s aversion to beds made the choice easy. Michael had been too sick at the time to mind cramped quarters but that wouldn’t be the case with Buck. 

With Eddie’s help, and a quick trip to the garage to get some tools, it didn’t take long for the bed to be disassembled. The pieces also went into the garage. In a shorter time than she would have thought, Athena and Eddie were rejoining the group. In her absence, the others had cleaned up the kitchen. Athena lifted one eyebrow and gave Hen a look, since Hen was the only one familiar enough with the kitchen to know where things went. Hen just shrugged and didn’t have the grace to look at all apologetic.

“You didn’t have do that, but thank you,” Athena tried to be gracious. She’d been raised to believe that guests shouldn’t have to lift a finger.

“With Buck staying here, you’re going to have your hands full,” Hen said. “Let us help where we can.”

There was only one proper response to that. “Thank you.”

With hugs and promises to continue to keep one another update, the others took their leave. After the last one left, Athena closed the door and leaned against it.

They had a place for Buck to heal and lots of people who loved him primed and ready to help. Now all they needed was the man himself.

911-911-911-911-911-911

Twins?

Buck didn’t have a hard time picturing Maddie as a mother; his big sister had been mothering him his whole life. But twins? It seemed surreal – and brought home to Buck just how much time he’d missed.

Learning about Maddie’s pregnancy wasn’t the only thing making Buck feel odd. Maddie seemed happy to hear from him. She had to know by this point what had happened to Buck, all the things he’d been made to do. It hadn’t mattered to her, though, not based on how she’d acted on the call. 

After returning to Buck’s hospital room after the therapy, Bobby seemed to know that Buck needed some time to recover. Instead of trying to talk, Bobby turned the television on and found some sort of game for them to watch. Even though Buck hadn’t seen tv for months, he was thinking too hard to pay attention to it. 

Maddie had been glad to hear from him. Bobby had flown halfway across the country to be with him. The others were flooding Bobby’s phone with photos and messages just for Buck. Maybe Carlyle was wrong; maybe Buck’s family didn’t think he was ruined.

When supper came in, Buck sighed and looked at it. He’d given up interest in food a long time ago. At least this time there was a bottle of something that was a lot like a protein shake. Buck drank that and took a few bites of the baked chicken and mashed potatoes, but then he felt full. Bobby didn’t push him, for which Buck was grateful. 

After the remnants of the meal were taken away, Bobby turned to Buck. “I have an idea.” He waited until Buck was looking at him before continuing. “What about we learn a few simple signs in sign language? Maybe that will be easier than talking or writing.”

Buck sat up straighter in his chair, he was willing to give anything Bobby suggested a try.

All they had was Bobby’s phone and the two of them hunched over the small screen to watch the videos. They skipped things like “yes” and “no,” but kept to the other basics like “hungry” and “sleepy.” They were at it until Bobby’s battery started running low. As he turned to plug it in to charge again, Buck grabbed Bobby’s arm.

When he saw that he had Bobby’s attention, Buck put his hand to lips, being careful to keep his hand flat. He moved his hand down in Bobby’s direction.

“Thank you?” Bobby asked. When Buck nodded, Bobby smiled at him. “Yeah, I think you have that one down pat.”

Buck blew his hair out of his eyes impatiently. He did the motion again, this time with a little more force. When he was done, he poked his finger in Bobby’s chest and did it again.

“Oh.” Bobby finally got it. “You’re telling me thank you?”

Pleased, Buck nodded.

Bobby cleared his throat. “I feel like I should be thanking you, kid.”

Buck wished they’d learned the sign for explain, but Bobby knew him well enough not to need it.

“Thank you for staying alive,” Bobby said. “Thank you for not giving up. After what you’ve been through, just about anybody in your place would have.”

Bobby’s words caused Buck to duck his head. Bobby was wrong. Most people wouldn’t have been in that situation in the first place. Carlyle said that Buck had been made for sex and Buck figured that had to be true. After all, Carlyle had said that without even knowing about Buck 1.0. Buck must have had some sort of slut stain on him that Carlyle saw.

“Hey, Buck? Look at me, please.”

Buck obeyed, although he had to blink away tears in order to see the older man clearly. Bobby had that expression of his that said he was done fooling around and that Buck had better pay attention.

“You are a good man, a strong man,” Bobby told him. “Nothing that those people did to you was your fault. You didn’t do anything that day that caused them to take you and nothing in your past caused it, either. They were just evil people. Do you understand me?”

Understand Bobby? Yes. But Buck just wasn’t sure that he believed him. Nonetheless, it was Bobby and so Buck dutifully nodded.

Bobby sighed; Buck hadn’t fooled him in the slightest. “That’s okay, Buck. Like I said before, I’ll just keep telling you until you believe it.”

When it came time to turn in, Buck protested when Bobby tried to make himself comfortable in the chair again. 

“You want me to leave?” Bobby asked, not able to hide the hurt in his tone of voice.

Buck shook his head and pointed at the bed. He didn’t want to sleep in the damn thing, but Bobby should. It would be a lot more comfortable than a chair. By the circles under Bobby’s eyes, the older man could use some good sleep.

“That’s your bed, Buck,” Bobby protested. “You may not want to use it right now, but I’m not going to take it. You might change your mind.”

Frustrated, Buck shook his head violently and waved his hand between Bobby and the bed. This time, he also rubbed his hand over his chest in the sign for “please.”

Bobby sighed. “I’m going to regret suggesting sign language to you, aren’t I?” 

Buck thought for a minute, but then held his hands out in front of himself, palms up, and moved them up and down in a seesaw motion – the sign for “maybe.”

“All right, I get the point,” Bobby laughed. “I’ll take the bed, but you wake me up the minute you need anything. And I do mean the minute.”

It was odd at first seeing Bobby on a bed. Buck’s mind kept trying to reconcile being in a room with a man on a bed and yet not being in danger. His mind might have difficulty with it, but Buck’s heart knew that, bed or not, Bobby Nash would never hurt him.

Bobby fell asleep almost immediately, but Buck didn’t. It had been an emotional day and his mind was churning with everything that happened. Buck was awake most of the night, which at least meant that there were no nightmares. He drifted off as the sun began to rise.

The next morning, Buck had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. It was real; for the second morning in a row he’d awakened to find Bobby Nash in the room with him. He didn’t have much time to let it sink in. It felt like he’d barely opened his eyes before breakfast was brought in. He managed to choke down some of it, but not enough to make Bobby happy. Bobby hadn’t said anything, but Buck could see the disappointment in his mentor’s eyes.

After that it was a shower and Buck enjoyed it every bit as much as he’d had the day before. When he was with Carlyle, a shower was pretty much torture. If it wasn’t a quick hose down with a pressure washer, then it was some sort of sex fantasy for a client. The hospital shower could have been cold as ice and it still would have been heaven for Buck because he was showering all by himself.

Shortly after the shower was over, the nutritionist came in. Buck tried to pay attention, he truly did, but his sleepless night crept up on him. He didn’t fall asleep, not with a stranger in the room, but Buck did let himself drift a little. Bobby was there. He would make better use of the information than Buck would anyway.

Maybe Buck would have paid more attention had Bobby been able to connect with Maddie, the way they’d talked about the night before, but the time difference worked against them. Bobby tried to call, but didn’t get through. Buck was a little worried about that. Maddie was pregnant and things happened to pregnant ladies all the time. Bobby saw his concern and after the nutritionist had left, told Buck about a phrase his mother had used, about not borrowing trouble. Buck figured that was easy for her to say, her sister probably hadn’t been pregnant with twins.

“Evan, I have a package for you,” the nurse said as she came into the room. “Looks like it came all the way from California.”

Buck sat up in his chair, more alert than he’d been since the nutritionist had arrived. He gingerly took the package from the nurse. The packing was squishy, which gave him a hint about what was inside, but there was no information to be had from the shipping label other than it had come from Los Angeles.

“Are you going to open it?” Bobby asked. There was a small smile playing around his lips and seeing it helped Buck relax a little. If Bobby wasn’t worried, then there probably wasn’t a reason for Buck to worry.

The package was a little tough to open without scissors or a knife, but with Bobby’s help, Buck managed. When he finally did, he was pleased to see that it was clothing. More specifically, it was clothing that Buck recognized as his. Jeans, a shirt and a pair of athletic shoes. Grinning, he showed it to Bobby.

“Maddie must have sent it,” Bobby said. “When we cleared out your apartment, she took your wardrobe. From what I understand,” he teased gently. “She and Chim almost had to rent out a storage unit just to hold it all.”

Buck would have been embarrassed by the comment, but he’d just realized that there was another envelope at the bottom of the package. He put the clothing aside and picked it up. When he opened, he saw a card and. . . . a photo? He took a closer look at the latter. Yes, it was a photo or, rather, a printout from an ultrasound. Buck wasn’t an expert at such things, but even he could make out the outline of two babies.

Excited, he showed the photo to Bobby and held up two fingers.

“It’s something, isn’t it? Twins?” Bobby obviously had seen the photo before. “Chim was feeling pretty smug about it. Bragged about how virile he was for weeks.”

Buck frowned. He did not like the reminder of how Maddie got pregnant. 

“I’m sure Maddie was excited to share these with you,” Bobby changed the subject, clearly remembering that Buck never had liked any hints that Maddie and Chim were lovers. “Shall we try calling again?”

Bobby got his phone out, but before he dialed, he looked at his texts. “Never mind, I got a text from Chim. Maddie’s ob/gyn appointment got moved up. Other than being angry at missing the nutritionist appointment, she’s fine.”

Buck breathed a sigh of relief. He was surprised how disappointed he was not to hear Maddie’s voice again, but mostly he was glad she was okay. 

Bobby’s phone vibrated with an incoming call. Buck’s hopes rose that it was Maddie, but after he looked at the screen, Bobby shook his head. “It’s not her.” Bobby swiped the screen to accept the call and he raised it his ear. “Hello, Agent Rossi.”

It was a tense few minutes while Buck listened to Bobby’s side of the conversation. Buck remembered that Rossi was the FBI agent that had rescued him. The man had been kind, kinder than he’d had to be. Thankfully, Bobby’s conversation with Rossi was short and he was soon ending the call.

“The FBI will be here after lunch to take your statement,” Bobby told him. When Buck pointed at his throat, Bobby held up his hands in a placating gesture. “They know about your speaking situation. Don’t worry, Rossi said they had ways to work around it.”

Buck was dreading giving a statement as much as he was looking forward to it. He wanted to be a part of putting Carlyle away, but the idea of having to tell anyone what he’d done while in Carlyle’s control made him feel sick. Too sick to eat when lunch was brought. Bobby seemed to understand. He didn’t try to coax Buck to eat, anyway.

When Rossi and his colleague, the pretty blonde agent, came to get them, Buck was ready, but wired. 

“Hey there, kiddo, ready to talk?” Rossi asked as he entered the room. He winced as he figured out what he said. “Figuratively talk, that is.”

Instead of nodding, Buck got out of his chair, pleased when Bobby did the same. Bobby was a solid presence at Buck’s side as he followed the agents down the hallway. Rossi lead them to the same conference room they’d been in yesterday with Johnson, the counselor.

Buck stepped inside and immediately saw that there was one big difference in the room from yesterday; there was a camera set up in the corner. It was on a tripod and there was a tall, bright lamp beside it. The sight made Buck’s heart stop and his brain run off the rails into memory. No, into nightmare.

A bright light and camera flashing. Men holding him down, forcing his mouth open and his legs to spread. Rough laughter and even rougher touches. And above everything else, men bidding for the right to. . . .

Before he knew what he was doing, Buck was careening through the FBI agents and Bobby, and back out the door. He hit the corridor wall and slid down, gasping for breath. For a few minutes, all he could hear was the thunder of his heart trying to bang its way out of his chest.

“-ck, Buck,” a voice penetrated Buck’s panic. “Buck, I’m here. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

Buck lifted his eyes and saw that Bobby was crouched next to him, looking almost as panicked as Buck felt. 

“There you are,” the relief was obvious in Bobby’s eyes. He gently took one of Buck’s hands and put it on his own chest. “Okay, we’re going to do this together. Breathe when I breathe. Nice and slow. That’s it. You’re doing great. In, hold, and out. Feel my heart beat? You’re not alone, Buck. I’m here.”

At first it seemed impossible, but ever so slowly, Buck felt his breathing come back under his control. He kept his hand on Bobby’s chest, but let the rest of his body sag against the wall. Only when his heart felt like it was beating normally again, did he let it drop. Or rather, he lifted the hand to his lips and then let it drop in Bobby’s direction.

“You’re welcome,” Bobby sank to the floor. “I take it that the camera was the problem?”

Buck nodded.

“It’s gone,” Rossi said quietly. “I apologize. Since you weren’t comfortable speaking yet, Evan, we thought we could use it as a way to record your answers. It clearly triggered some bad memories.”

“We don’t have to continue,” the female agent, Jareau, said.

For a moment, Buck was tempted, but only for a moment. He wanted to put Carlyle away and wasn’t going to let a camera freak him out so much that he couldn’t do his part. Buck started to struggle to his feet. It was harder than he was expecting; the panic attack had taken a lot out of him. Bobby stood and offered his hand. Buck took it and the brief grip didn’t just help him to stand, it steadied him.

Bobby looked Buck in the eyes and smiled at what he saw there. “Good man.” He turned to the FBI agents. “Buck wants to continue.”

“How could you tell?” Rossi asked.

“I speak fluent Buck,” Bobby answered easily. 

“We took down the camera,” Jareau added. “It’s packed away.”

Buck headed into the room again, Bobby right behind him. As soon as he went through the door, he glanced to where the camera had been. The FBI agent hadn’t been lying; the whole set up was gone.

“Would it be okay if JJ uses her phone to video the discussion?” Rossi asked. “This is an informal talk, but it might be helpful down the road to have documentation of it.”

After thinking about it for a moment, Buck nodded his head. He may have been videoed using a phone camera before, but if so, he was unaware of it. In any case, the idea didn’t spark anxiety. Buck breathed a sigh of relief. When the others saw that he was comfortable, they sat around the table and Buck joined them, careful to pick a chair next to Bobby’s.

“Okay, we’re going to ask you a series of questions, but they’re all designed to be answered yes or no,” Rossi explained. “Nod yes if you understand.”

Buck nodded yes. Even someone as stupid as he was could figure that out.

“Keep in mind that these questions are meant to be non-judgmental,” Rossi continued. “We’re simply trying to document the facts for the record. Okay?”

The only response to that was another nod, although Buck was a little nervous. How bad were the questions going to be if Rossi needed to warn him like that?

Rossi nodded at Jareau and she held up her phone. The process had begun.

“Were you in the company of Leonard Chippy of your own free will?”

Buck tilted his head. Who was Leonard Chippy?

Rossi figured out his mistake almost immediately. “Leonard Chippy is the real name of the man you knew as Leland Carlyle. Were you in his company of your own free will?”

Buck shook his head violently. The question offended him for a moment, but then he looked closely at Agent Rossi’s face. The man looked sad, but then he’d seen firsthand how Buck had been treated. That must have been one of those questions that Rossi’d had to ask.

“Were you kidnapped or otherwise taken against your will?” Rossi asked.

Another nod of yes.

It was tedious, but through a serious of yes or no questions, Rossi determined that Buck had been taken from the water instead of land, that he’d been forced to perform sexual acts that others profited from, and that Chippy had held him against his will.

“Okay, that’s all the questions for now,” Rossi said. “We have some pictures for you to look at.”

With Jareau’s help, Rossi put out a series of photos on the conference table. “All we need you to do, Evan, is point out the photos of the people who held you against your will.”

The first set was easy and Buck took a great deal of satisfaction of pointing out Carlyle. No, Chippy. His was the only one that Buck recognized in the first set. Jareau put Chippy’s photo in one pile and set the others aside. The second set had two people that Buck recognized, and they received the same treatment.

Every time the agent put out new photos, Buck steeled himself. Sooner or later Cory’s photo would come up and Buck didn’t want to freak out again, the way he did with the camera. Set after set went by, however, without Cory’s face showing.

Eventually, Agent Jareau put out a set that was just the photos that Buck had identified earlier. 

“This one’s a little different,” she said encouragingly. “Can you point out the photo of the person in charge?”

Buck tapped on Chippy’s photo.

“Good,” Rossi spoke for the first time in several minutes. “In case you were wondering, you got every one of them right.” 

Jareau smiled at him. “I bet you’re glad that’s over, you can relax now.”

Buck look at the FBI agents in disbelief. That was all? Where was Cory’s picture? He reached over and grabbed the photos, looking through them frantically. 

“Buck?” Bobby’s voice sounded concerned, but Buck didn’t react. He was too desperate to find Cory’s photo. He must have missed it, he had to have missed it. Because if it wasn’t there. . . . Buck’s mind shied away from finishing that thought.

Vaguely, Buck was aware of the FBI agents asking questions too, but he had no reason to pay them any attention. Bobby, however, was another story. When his words didn’t get through to Buck, Bobby pushed the photos away and put his hands to either side of Buck’s face.

“Buck, slow down” Bobby said. When he saw Buck’s eyes focus on him, he let go and moved back a little.

Buck gestured at the pictures and threw up his hands. That was all it took for Bobby to figure it out.

“I think there’s a photo missing,” Bobby translated for Buck. “Didn’t you tell me that someone got away?”

“Yeah, Chippy’s second in command, a guy that went by the name Cory,” Rossi admitted. “I’m sorry, Evan, we should have told you.”

Cory was still free? He was out there somewhere? Buck shot Bobby a betrayed look. Bobby had known it and not said anything? How could he claim Buck was safe if Cory was free?

“I’m sorry too, Buck. Rossi told me, but seeing you back from the dead and everything,” Bobby’s shoulders slumped. “I forgot.”

“Evan, wherever this Cory is, he’s going to be too busy running to have any interest in you,” Rossi said. “He’s involved in the kidnapping and sexual exploitation of over 20 people and that’s earned him a spot on the FBI’s most wanted list.”

“Trust me, Buck,” Bobby put a hand on Buck’s shoulder and the warmth helped ground Buck. “If for some reason he gets past the FBI, this bastard will not get past Athena.”

The reassurances, and the warmth of Bobby’s touch, helped calm Buck. He slid back down into his chair and dropped his head, concentrating on his breathing. A glass of water appeared in his field of vision and he grabbed it gratefully. His hand shook as he brought it up for a drink, sloshing the water, until Bobby’s hand covered his own, steadying it. Buck slammed the water down in one gulp. When he was done, he looked up. All three of the others were looking at him in concern.

“Better?” Bobby asked.

Buck nodded.

“Evan, do you feel up to looking at a drawing?” Agent Jareau asked. “We have a composite sketch based on interviews with some of the other survivors. We’d like your take on if it looks like Cory.”

Buck looked at Bobby.

“Only if you’re up for it, Buck.”

After thinking about it for a moment, Buck nodded at Jareau. She smiled at him and pulled a drawing out of a folder. Buck took a deep breath and looked at it. 

It was Cory, but yet it wasn’t. It looked more like a drawing of someone related to Cory. The features were almost the same, but not quite. Buck looked up at Jareau and mimed writing. She handed over a pen. Buck put lines through the line of Cory’s jaw, which was sharper than was depicted. He also made lines that indicated that Cory’s neck was larger. Lastly, he made Cory’s eyes smaller. His efforts were decidedly amateurish, but it looked closer to Cory than the original. Satisfied, and a lot calmer, he handed the drawing back.

“Thank you,” Agent Jareau said. “We’ll show the others.”

“I think we’re done,” Rossi told them. “Evan, you ready to go home?”

Buck didn’t know how to answer that. Mostly, it was an enthusiastic yes, but he was a mess. As much as he wanted to see the rest of his family, he wasn’t sure he wanted them to see him the way he was. He realized that the others were waiting for answer, so he nodded his head yes.

“Good,” Rossi said. “You two think you can be ready to leave in a couple of hours?”

“You got us a flight?” Bobby asked. He sounded a lot more enthusiastic about leaving than Buck felt.

“You’re hitching a ride with us,” Rossi explained. “The BAU has to be ready to go to whatever region of the country that needs us and waiting for a commercial flight could cost lives, so the FBI has a private jet. Supervisory Agent Prentiss and I are headed to Los Angeles tonight, to inform the LAPD that they had some kidnappings that took place during the tsunami. We’ll liaise with the LA office and help them with the media storm that’s sure to follow. I’ve made arrangements for the two of you to come with us.”

“Thank you,” Bobby put an arm around Buck’s shoulder. “We’ll be ready.”

“We’ll give you a heads-up about an hour before we pick you up,” Rossi promised. “You’ll be home tonight.”

Jareau held her hand out to Buck. “It was good meeting you, Evan. I wish you the best in your recovery.”

As Bobby and Buck walked back to their room, Buck felt a wave of exhaustion come over him. Two days ago he was being raped by strangers and tonight he’d be home. It was a little much.

“Hey,” Bobby said. “I’m proud of you. I can’t imagine how hard it was to see pictures of the men who hurt you.”

Buck shrugged, then thought again about how Bobby had been there for him. He made the sign for “thanks” again and hoped that Bobby knew that it was more than gratitude for the compliment. It was for all of the support, the support that had been given and the support that he knew he’d be leaning on in the coming days.

Because Buck was going home. . . but he wasn’t going home alone.


	13. Chapter 13

Bobby had mixed feelings about going back to Los Angeles. On one hand, he was eager to get Buck back home, where being in a familiar environment surrounded by people who loved him might allow the young man to truly begin the healing process. If Bobby were being honest with himself, it was going to be a struggle not to encase Buck in bubble wrap and never allow him to leave the house again. Another reason Bobby was anxious to get back was that he craved Athena’s presence; Bobby needed her strength badly.

On the other hand, Bobby was worried about the process of getting Buck home. It helped to know that they’d be taking the FBI’s private jet. Buck was so withdrawn around other people, though, that Bobby dreaded it for him. The way that Buck had reacted to the camera set-up in the conference room had shaken Bobby badly. Clearly, he didn’t know what Buck’s triggers were. For that matter, Bobby wasn’t sure that Buck knew what Buck’s triggers were.

After the FBI interview, there was nothing to do but wait. Bobby looked around the hospital room they’d returned to, trying to find a distraction. Buck was sitting on the recliner, staring at Bobby’s phone again, so maybe it was just Bobby that needed a distraction.

“Hey, Buck? I’m going to take a shower, is that okay?”

Buck looked up from the screen long enough to wave Bobby towards the bathroom. Bobby was half hoping for Buck to hold his nose or find some other nonverbal way to tease him about body odor, but it didn’t come. Bobby told himself that it was too much to ask for, too soon.

Like the day before, Bobby was in and out of the shower quickly, appreciating the chance to feel clean but not wanting to tarry. He dressed with equal speed and, in little more than five minutes, was done. When Bobby came out of the bathroom, Buck was in the same position, which was a relief. Remembering what he’d wanted to try the day before, Bobby kept his razor out.

“Buck, would you like to shave?” Bobby asked.

Buck scratched at the stubble on his chin and nodded. Instead of walking to Bobby to take the razor from him, however, he just put down the phone and straightened in his chair. He closed his eyes and tilted his head up. The position made Bobby realize that Buck was expecting to be shaved and it didn’t take much thought to figure out why. No doubt the traffickers had seen even an electric razor as a potential weapon or way for Buck to free himself. Bobby’s challenge would be to let Buck know he could shave himself without making Buck self-conscious for assuming Bobby would do it.

“I think I can trust you with a razor,” Bobby told Buck gently. “It’s like a bicycle, once you learn, you never forget.” He held out the razor to Buck.

Buck blushed and ducked his head in obvious embarrassment, but Bobby just handed him the razor and patted his shoulder. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. They didn’t want anything resembling a tool in your hands, that tells me that they respected your potential for escaping. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you’re a little rusty at doing it yourself, there’s no time like the present to practice.”

Bobby wasn’t sure that he’d managed to reassure Buck, but Buck took the razor and disappeared into the bathroom. He noticed that the younger man took the clothing that Maddie had sent too. Within minutes, Bobby heard a familiar buzzing sound and resisted the urge to peek into the bathroom to see how it was going.

Bobby decided to use his time alone to call Athena. Unfortunately, she must have been busy because it went to voice mail. He updated her on what he knew of their flight and promised some texts listing the food items they’d need for Buck. He was working on the texts when the buzzing of the razor stopped. Shortly thereafter, Buck emerged from the bathroom.

“You look like you feel better,” Bobby said. It’d taken him a minute to find words that the traumatized man couldn’t interpret as a sexual advance. “Do you?”

Buck nodded his head and handed the razor back to Bobby. Once his hand was free, he signed ‘thank you.’

“You’re welcome,” Bobby replied. He nodded at Buck’s other hand, which was holding the jacket that Maddie had sent. Buck was still wearing the LAFD sweatshirt and Bobby wasn’t about to ask him to change. “Give me that, I’ll pack it too.”

As he stowed the jacket, Bobby noticed that Buck remained standing and that his attention was on his feet. Maddie had sent a pair of athletic shoes too and Buck seemed mesmerized by them. As he watched Buck, a slight smile on his face, rock back and forth from heel to toe, it occurred to Bobby why Buck might be so happy to have the footwear on.

“How long has it been since you’ve worn shoes?” Bobby asked Buck quietly.

Buck shrugged. Bobby had a feeling that reaction meant that Buck hadn’t worn shoes for nine months, no doubt to make it harder for Buck to run. Bobby swallowed hard and went back to packing, leaving Buck to his happy contemplation of his sneakers.

Bobby was finishing with his duffle when Agent Jareau came in, followed by another woman. The newcomer had brown hair and eyes and was a little more rumpled in appearance than Rossi or Jareau. She was holding an envelope.

“Is this a bad time?” Agent Jareau asked as they came in.

After taking a quick glance at Buck, Bobby shook his head. “No, it’s fine. Are we ready to leave already?”

Jareau smiled at Bobby’s enthusiasm. “No, I’m afraid not. I’m here to introduce you to someone.” She turned to the other woman. “This is Special Agent Whittaker. She headed the taskforce that tracked down Chippy’s operation and raided the Menagerie.”

Bobby stepped forward with his hand out. When Whittaker took it, he shook her hand gratefully. “Thank you so much. I don’t know how to repay you.”

His appreciation seemed to make her uncomfortable. Whittaker dropped her hand as soon as Bobby let her and shrugged awkwardly. “Just doing my job.”

“If I had a dollar every time I said that . . . .” Bobby said. He smiled ruefully, “I guess I know how it feels to be on the other side now.” 

Whittaker’s eyes drifted over to Buck. “I’m actually here to speak to Mr. Buckley, it won’t take long.”

“That’ll be up to Buck,” Bobby pointed out. “Besides, he was interviewed this morning.”

“This isn’t an interview,” Whittaker said. She addressed her next words to Buck. “Mr. Buckley, if I could talk to you for a few minutes? Alone, if that’s okay with you?”

Buck had been watching the two women since they’d entered the room. His expression remained blank until Whittaker asked to see him alone. Without hesitation, Buck shook his head in the negative. Whittaker was obviously taken aback. Remembering that the woman had played a large part in recovering Buck, Bobby relented and helped her out.

“Buck, would you be willing to talk to her if I stayed in the room?” Bobby asked.

At that, Buck relaxed a little and shook his head yes.

“I’ll see if I can lock Rossi down on when he’d like to leave,” Jareau said. She murmured some goodbyes and took her leave.

Whittaker remained standing awkwardly in the room after the other agent left. Finally, Bobby cleared his throat. When she looked at him, he raised his eyebrows, silently asking her to get on with it.

“It wasn’t just investigative work that led us to Chippy,” Whittaker started. “Someone got away from the Menagerie and was able to provide us with information on Chippy’s operation and how it worked. The background information that she provided was key in tracking Chippy and stopping him.”

Whittaker opened the envelope and pulled something out. From where he was standing, Bobby could see that it was a photograph and it looked like it was a photo of a woman, but he couldn’t see any detail. As Bobby watched, Whittaker stepped closer to Buck and handed him the picture. Buck took it tentatively and when he looked down at it, he audibly gasped.

Bobby immediately went to Buck’s side and put a careful hand on his shoulder. He could feel that Buck had started to shake. Unsteady, Buck reached out a couple of fingers and gently caressed the photo. When he looked up, tears were running down his face.

“Not dead?” Buck whispered. The sound was so forced that Bobby’s throat ached in sympathy.

“No, Jackie Unger is very much alive,” Whittaker said. “She thought that Chippy might have told you that she was dead. Jackie wanted to make sure you knew that she was alive.”

Bobby had no idea who Jackie Unger was, but Buck obviously did. It was also clear that what Whittaker had just told them had a deep impact on Buck. As much as Bobby was pleased by the fact that Buck had actually spoken again, he was sad that it had taken such emotional turmoil to prompt it. Having said those two words, though, Buck went back to being silent.

“How did she escape?” Bobby asked, gently rubbing circles on Buck’s back.

“She didn’t, she was sold,” Whittaker said bluntly. 

Under his hand, Bobby could feel Buck flinch. He glared at Whittaker, wishing she’d had the empathy that Rossi and Jareau had displayed. Whittaker closed her eyes briefly and Bobby noticed the deep circles under them. Paired with her rumpled appearance, Bobby thought that maybe her bluntness hadn’t been a lack of empathy, but just exhaustion.

“I’m sorry, that could have come out better,” Whittaker apologized after she reopened her eyes. “Apparently one of Chippy’s clients became obsessed with Jackie to the point that he convinced Chippy to . . . .” She hesitated, but then continued. “I’m sorry, there’s really no other way to say it, he convinced Chippy to sell her to him. And then he took her to his secluded ranch.”

Whittaker’s expression lightened as she continued, until it was something close to glee. “What this guy didn’t count on was his estranged wife showing up. This was in Texas and so when she caught him with Jackie, the guy ended up with an ass full of buckshot. Lucky for Jackie, the wife figured out that it wasn’t consensual on Jackie’s part and got the authorities involved. It didn’t take long for Jackie to be brought to the attention of the FBI.

Bobby’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “And how long ago with that?”

Whittaker didn’t drop her eyes when she answered. “Several months.”

“And you didn’t see fit to let anyone know what happened?” Bobby demanded. “If we’d known that one person who supposedly died in the tsunami was alive, we could have had hope that Buck had survived too.”

“We couldn’t take that chance,” Whittaker retorted. “We had to keep the tsunami connection under wraps so that Chippy didn’t know we were on to him. Not to mention the kind of media storm that will happen when people come back from the dead, so to speak. The choice was made to keep Jackie’s rescue quiet and put her into a type of witness protection program until we had caught the perpetrators. Only her immediate family knew she was alive.”

Bobby looked away, realizing she was right. As he did, he caught sight of Buck’s face; Buck was as pale as Bobby had ever seen the young man. Buck had still been standing when the FBI agents entered the room. Seeing how fragile Buck seemed, Bobby encouraged him to sit on the recliner.

“I suppose I can see the need for the silence,” Bobby admitted grudgingly. He would have pressed the issue more, but Buck was stressed enough as it was.

“As it was, Jackie didn’t tell us about Buck specifically until after he was rescued and identified.” Whittaker explained. When Bobby growled in frustration, Whittaker was quick to defend the other woman. “Mr. Buckley wasn’t the only one traumatized by being in the Menagerie, Captain Nash. We had her on suicide watch for weeks.”

Buck caught the attention of Bobby and Whittaker both when he waved the photo in the air. When they were looking at him, he gestured from the photo to himself several times.

“I think that Buck would like to talk to Jackie,” Bobby looked at Buck. “Is that right, Buck?”

Buck shook his head yes, but Whittaker was already shaking her head no.

“She’s not here,” Whittaker told them. “Her therapist said that Jackie wasn’t ready to be near the raid, so we sent her photos digitally for her to identify.” 

Buck’s shoulder’s slumped in obvious disappointment, but Bobby was relieved. Intellectually he knew this Jackie was a victim too, but he was finding it hard to forgive her for not making a better effort to tell Buck’s family that he was alive. He wasn’t sure how he’d react to her face to face, at least not when the news was so raw.

“She did write you a letter, Mr. Buckley,” Whittaker reached into the manila envelope and pulled out a business-sized one. “She wrote it out and the agent working with her scanned and emailed it. I printed it out. Do you want to see it?”

Buck’s head didn’t move in either a shake or a nod. Instead, he just reached out his hand. Whittaker put the letter into it and then stepped back. Buck slid the envelope through his fingers, but didn’t move to open it. 

“Is that all?” Bobby asked. He still felt grateful to the woman for leading the taskforce that had rescued Buck, he wasn’t happy with the whole Jackie development. 

“Yes,” Whittaker looked sad at the reactions of Buck and Bobby, but she didn’t apologize. “We’ll be in touch, but in the meantime, please don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions or if Mr. Buckley would like to be interviewed.”

Whittaker handed Bobby a business card and he took it, watching expressionlessly as she walked out of the room. When she was gone, Bobby looked at Buck. The younger man was staring intently at the letter, but still had made no move to open it.

“Buck?” Bobby waited until Buck looked at him before continuing. “Do you want some privacy?”

So far, Buck had wanted Bobby with him every step of the way. Even though he’d asked the question, Bobby wasn’t really expecting him to say yes. When Buck tentatively nodded, Bobby opened his mouth to protest, but immediately shut it. He was the one who’d been insisting that Buck always be given a choice, it would be hypocritical of him to complain now.

“All right, I’ll stretch my legs a bit,” Bobby headed towards the door. “I’ll be right outside the door if you need anything. I’ll come back in five minutes, all right?”

Buck shook his head yes again, eyes not leaving the envelope. Bobby sighed and stepped out of the room. He looked at his watch and begin pacing. He didn’t move far, not far enough to be out of sight or hearing distance from Buck’s room. 

As he moved, Bobby noticed that there were more people around; the families of the other survivors must be arriving. Most of the doors were closed. As Bobby watched, one of them opened and a couple stepped out. They looked to be a few years older than Bobby. The woman sobbed and the man wrapped an arm around her shoulders. The man led the woman down the hall. He and Bobby’s eyes met as they moved by and Bobby could see his own pain reflected in the stranger’s eyes.

It was a very long five minutes.

When Bobby went back to the room, Buck was laying on the recliner, with his back to the room. The envelope had been opened and lay on the table. Bobby was tempted, oh was he tempted, to read it, but he managed not to. Instead, he sat on the chair next to the recliner and turned the TV on again, although he kept the sound muted. The pregame for the Superbowl had started. Bobby was a football fan, although not an avid one, but at the moment he would be hard-pressed to find anything he cared about less.

Bobby was still pretending to watch the game when a nurse came in. She had a clear bag in one hand and a sheaf of papers in the other.

“Evan, I understand you’ll be leaving us today,” the nurse announced. It was Myra, from the day before. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but I have some paperwork I need to you to sign.”

Buck sighed loudly, louder than any word he’d actually spoken so far, and turned over. His eyes were red, but there were no tears on his face.

Myra went over the discharge papers and showed Buck where to sign. Bobby made no move to sign for him; Johnson had made it clear that his power of attorney had not been invoked.

“Your STD report is in here,” Myra held up the plastic bag. “There’s also information on how to do the follow-up for the longer-term HIV test.”

Bobby swallowed. He’d managed to forget about those. The traffickers had already left a mark on Buck emotionally; he only hoped that Buck had been spared any further physical ramifications.

“We’re sending you home with two prescriptions too, just enough until you can follow-up with your own doctor. One is for Vitamin D and the other is an anxiety medication.”

Bobby had mixed feelings. Buck had done all right in the hospital, but Bobby’d been concerned about how Buck would do back in the real world. An anxiety medication would help, at least for the short-term. The challenge would be making sure that Buck didn’t come dependent on it. 

“Do you know when we’ll actually be leaving?” Bobby asked.

“As soon as you’re ready,” a voice came from the doorway. Agent Rossi was standing there.

Both Buck and Bobby startled, prompting an apology from the FBI agent.

“Sorry about that, didn’t realize you didn’t see me,” Rossi said. “What do you say, Evan, are you ready to go home?”

Buck glanced at Bobby, before nodding his head hesitantly.

“All right, meet us downstairs at the entry when you’ve finished here,” Rossi instructed. He started to move away, but turned back. “I should mention that Evan’s not the only one that’s catching a ride with us. There are two more of the recovered that will be on the flight. You probably know them, Evan.”

Buck nodded and, satisfied, Rossi left the room. The nurse grinned brightly at the two left behind. “That’s awesome news. I’ll go track down a wheelchair.”

After she left, Bobby moved to add the bag with the paperwork and medication to his duffle. Before he stowed it, however, he pulled out the anxiety medication and held it up. “Do you want to take one of these for the flight?”

Bobby’s question got an immediate nod. He shook out one pill and gave it to Buck, who swallowed it dry. Bobby winced at that; Buck must be desperate.

“Do you want me to put your letter into my bag?” Bobby asked. “Or do you want to carry it?”

Buck looked at the letter for a moment before reaching for it. He carefully refolded it and put it back in the envelope before handing it to Bobby. Bobby didn’t ask if he could read it; he just packed it away. As much as he was dying to find out what it said, he wasn’t going to betray Buck’s trust that way.

The nurse came back with a volunteer and a wheelchair, the latter of which Buck eyed with wary distaste.

“Sorry, Buck, it’s a rule,” Bobby said. He wasn’t sure how strong the anti-anxiety medication was, but didn’t want Buck to keel over while on his way to the airport. Bobby looked at the volunteer’s nametag. “You wouldn’t want Sid here to get in trouble, would you?

Buck shot Bobby a wounded look, but obediently got into the chair. Bobby handed him the duffle, which Buck settled on his lap. With a smile at the volunteer, Bobby took the wheel. Sid was 70 years old if he was a day, but Buck was just as uncomfortable with the volunteer behind him as he’d been the day before with the young occupational therapist.

“Maybe you’ll be home before the big game starts,” Sid tried to start a casual conversation. 

“I’m not much of a football fan,” Bobby replied.

Sid chuckled. “I usually watch it for the commercials,” he admitted.

Bobby let the banal conversation wash over him as they made their way to the elevator and down to the ground level. The Super Bowl might be a national obsession, but it meant less than nothing than Bobby. Then again, it was a relief to talk about something so harmless and inconsequential.

When they got to the entrance, there was a black SUV waiting for them, with Rossi standing next to it. Another SUV was pulling off as they approached and Bobby could see the taillights of a third pulling out of the parking lot. He couldn’t help but wonder if the staggered departures had been staged.

“Let’s get this show on the road,” Rossi said. “The sooner we get in the air, the sooner you’ll be home.”

Buck got out of the wheelchair but waited until Bobby had thanked Sid. Only when Bobby opened the door and got in first did Buck get in too. Bobby noticed that Buck sat rather gingerly on the seat as he kept his eyes down and fixated on his knees.

Agent Jareau was the driver and she pulled out after Rossi got in. The agent buckled himself in and turned as much as the belt would allow him to address the two of them in the back seat.

“The flight is a little over four hours,” Rossi explained. “With the game on tonight, we should have the airport to ourselves as we leave.”

There was something in the FBI agent’s tone that worried Bobby. “And when we arrive?”

Rossi’s expression turned rueful. “The family of one of the other people recovered put her return on social media. We’re trying to contain it, but there might be reporters waiting for us. Don’t worry, though. We don’t fly into LAX, so we can control the security.”

“You’ll need to tell us who will be picking you up,” Jareau added. “We can add them to the approved list.”

“Which airport are we using?” Bobby asked after he gave them Athena’s name. “What airport?”

“Van Nuys,” Jareau told them. 

Bobby nodded. It was a good choice. Not that he had a lot of experience taking a private jet, but he’d been there on calls before. Of the smaller corporate jet airports that surrounded Los Angeles, it was the one that celebrities liked to use, so security had to be good.

Pulling out his phone, Bobby texted the information to Athena, along with an approximate time they’d be arriving. By the time he was done, Buck had lifted his head just enough to look out the window and Bobby suppressed a smile. He was glad to see Buck’s natural curiosity coming to the fore, but didn’t want to make the younger man too self-conscious about it.

Traffic was almost nonexistent, and Bobby knew he had the big football game to thank for that. Everyone who was anyone was at the game and the unfortunate ones that couldn’t afford it were already holed up at home or bars to watch it. The FBI agents talked to Bobby about what the next steps in the investigation would be and Bobby texted Athena again, warning her that word was going to get out a lot earlier than anticipated. She promised to warn the team.

When they reached the airport, Bobby was surprised to see the SUV drive by the small terminal and go directly to a gated area. Once there, Agent Jareau rolled down her window and showed her badge. The security guard immediately admitted them.

“Don’t worry, the security is tighter than it looks,” Rossi assured them. “Being FBI gives us a lot of leeway.”

They drove directly up to a corporate-sized jet. The two other SUVs had already arrived and a small group of people were milling around. Bobby hopped out and immediately went to the other side so that he was there when Buck got out. Buck blinked up at him sleepily; the medication was starting to kick in.

Rossi went over to speak to a woman with long, dark hair and then gestured for Bobby and Buck to come over. When they did, he introduced them to her.

“Captain Nash, Evan, this is SSA Emily Prentiss. She runs the BAU and will be leading the liaise with the LAPD and the local FBI office regarding the Menagerie.”

“I don’t envy you that,” Bobby shook her hand. Buck swayed a little on his feet and Prentiss, an intense-seeming woman, smiled and didn’t try to shake hands with him.

“It’ll be easier on us than the families,” Prentiss replied. 

“No! No! I’ve been good!” A woman’s terrified voice came from one of the other groups. “I did what you said and you told me I wouldn’t be used to punish Spot again! I’ve been good! You promised!”

Bobby looked over and saw a young woman, dressed in baggy sweats, struggling with the sad couple he’d seen earlier at the hospital. The young woman was trying to get back into the SUV and her panicked gaze was fixed right on. . . . Buck.

“Come on, let’s get you onboard,” Rossi gestured towards the stairs that would need to be climbed in order to get on the airplane. 

Bobby put a hand at the small of Buck’s back and guided him towards the jet. The young woman’s cries had quieted down and Bobby belated realized that Loretta Johnson was there too. As he watched, he saw her put a syringe down. It had been necessary to tranquilize the woman and as they passed, Johnson shook her head at Rossi.

Buck balked at going up the stairs, so Bobby went first. He reached back for Buck, shaking his head at Rossi when the older man went to steady Buck from behind. Bobby did not want Buck to need to be tranquilized too. When they got inside, Agent Jareau was already there. She gestured them towards the front of the passenger area. Bobby was so focused on Buck that he didn’t realize until he got Buck into a chair that they were far cushier than a commercial jet.

While Bobby got Buck settled in the seat closest to the window, he noticed Rossi leading another pair onto the airplane. It was another young woman, with dark hair and haunted eyes, with an older woman’s arm around her shoulders. The second woman was closer to Bobby’s age, with silver hair cut into a pixie cut. The older woman looked at Buck, but was distracted when Prentiss encouraged her to a seat. Bobby couldn’t help but notice that it was as far away from him and Buck as was possible on the small aircraft.

Jareau left the airplane and Rossi boarded. Once he was inside, the stairs were lifted.

Rossi approached Bobby and Buck. “You might want to belt in, these private jets feel a lot faster than the commercial ones.”

“What was all of that?” Bobby gestured to the tarmac with his chin.

“Loretta thought that Shyla was ready to go home, but as you saw, she was too unstable to fly,” Rossi explained. “We couldn’t afford to lose control of her in-flight.” He nodded at Buck. “Flying someone while they’re mildly sedated is one thing, but transporting someone who is completely incapacitated is generally frowned on. I know Shlya’s parents wanted to get her home, but she’ll need to be more stable before that happens.”

Bobby glanced at Buck, who was still awake, but barely. He clearly wasn’t tracking the conversation.

“Spot?” Bobby asked quietly.

Rossi grimaced. “Apparently that was what they called Evan.”

Bobby felt a wave of anger rush through him. They gave Buck the name of a dog? Just when he thought those people couldn’t go any lower, new depravities were revealed.

“Try to get some rest,” Rossi advised him. “You’re going to be a busy man once we get you home.”

Rossi and Prentiss took chairs that were in between Bobby and Buck and the two women. The two were involved in a quiet conversation, maybe strategizing how to handle the coming media storm. Buck’s head kept nodding and by the time they were in the air, he was asleep, with his head against Bobby’s shoulder. 

Bobby tried to stay awake, but it had been a long couple of days. He found himself nodding off too. Some undetermined time later, Bobby sensed someone standing close to him and he startled fully awake. He looked up and saw the gray-haired woman just beginning to move away.

“Can I help you?” Bobby called out softly. He took a quick look at Buck and relaxed when he saw that the younger man was still asleep.

“You should be very proud of him,” the woman said. “I’m Margo; I’m sorry if I disturbed you.”

“You didn’t,” Bobby assured her, although, in fact, she had. “I’m Bobby and, yes, I’m very proud of Evan.”

“Evan, that’s so much nicer than Spot,” Margo said with a wan smile. “Please don’t let the scene that Shyla caused outside bother you too much. She always wore her fear on her sleeve, it’s what the clients liked.”

Bobby’s eyes widened in surprise. “You were in the. . . . “ He broke off. “I thought it was your daughter.”

“Yes, I was in the Menagerie,” Margo said the word that Bobby had stumbled on. “I was usually the ex-wife the clients wanted rough sex with or maybe the naughty Sunday school teacher.”

“I’m sorry,” Bobby couldn’t think of anything else to say in wake of her matter of fact attitude.

“Thank you, but you weren’t responsible,” Margo brushed aside his apology. “And neither was Evan. He worked so hard to make sure none of us got punished, but he was only human. Or sometimes they punished us just for the hell of it. None of it was his fault.”

Bobby looked at her in disbelief. “How can you be so calm?”

“Oh, I’m not calm,” Margo replied. “What I am is a mother and my little girl is right over there. When we get home and I’m in my own bedroom, I’ll close the door behind me and cry my eyes out.”

They both looked back and, as if she sensed their attention, the young woman lifted her head and immediately became frantic when she didn’t see her mother. Margo raised her hand and waved. Seeing her, the daughter sank back down in her chair in relief.

“I better get back to my own seat,” Margo told Bobby. “Lexi is having a hard time. Young adults get squeamish at the thought of their parents having sex; finding out their mother was a sex toy is even worse.”

Bobby snorted. “You’re nobody’s toy.” It was obvious that Margo had an inner strength that would rival Athena’s.

Margo blinked rapidly and Bobby realized he’d brought the woman to tears. “Thank you, that might be the nicest thing anyone ever said to me.” Before she left, she looked at Buck one last time. “Tell Evan not to let the bastards win.”

“I will,” Bobby promised.

He watched the woman pick her way back to her daughter. The FBI agents had given up their conversation and were also sleeping, although the way that Rossi cracked one eye to watch Margo as she went back to her seat showed that they weren’t sleeping deeply.

Bobby settled back into his chair, careful not to jostle Buck. He knew that there was a long way to go to help Buck heal, but once they landed in LA, Bobby knew he’d no longer be alone in doing it. And Margo had just given Bobby a mantra to live by.

Don’t let the bastards win.


	14. Chapter 14

Athena Grant leaned against her SUV and cursed the fact that the sun had gone down. If it was still daylight, she’d be justified in wearing her sunglasses, but if she tried it at night, it would just bring more attention to her. Athena was already feeling vulnerable, so more attention was the last thing she needed, even if she badly wanted to hide her expression behind some polarized eyewear.

She was going to lose it when she saw Buck, Athena just knew it. To break down in front of her husband was one thing; to do it in the presence of strangers was quite another. Still, they were strangers and chances were that Athena would never see them again, so what did it matter? The person that Athena was most worried about seeing her break down was Buck. From what Bobby had told her, Buck would consider it his fault and that boy did not need one more burden to have to shoulder.

The same FBI agents that had broke the news about Buck being alive were there, Yu and Callahan. Apparently, the FBI agents on the flight with Buck and Bobby were rather high up in rank and the local agents were there to meet them. Or, more accurately, to act as chauffeurs. As a taxpayer, Athena resented that a government agency had a private jet, but as someone who cared about Buck, she was grateful that he’d been spared a commercial flight.

In addition to the FBI, there were also a couple of cars full of people that were obviously together. Yu and Callahan had told Athena that Buck wasn’t the only recovered tsunami victim that would be on the flight. For a moment Athena felt bad that she hadn’t organized a bigger welcoming party for Buck, but thinking again about how Bobby said Buck was doing, she knew she’d done the right thing. A big welcoming party wouldn’t have been for Buck’s sake, but for his friends’ and that wasn’t a good enough reason to potentially add to his trauma.

“They’re making their final approach,” Yu came over to tell her. Athena could see Callahan approaching the other group, probably to tell them the same thing. “It shouldn’t be long now.”

“Thank you,” Athena told her and from Yu’s slight smile, she had a feeling the FBI agent knew that her gratitude wasn’t just for the update. Athena and Bobby hadn’t been at their most gracious when told of Buck’s survival and what he’d endured during the last nine months.

“Did your husband warn you that the media have gotten wind of tsunami survivors?” Yu asked her. 

“Yes,” Athena confirmed, but she looked around at the lack of reporters. “They haven’t seemed to track us down here, though.”

Yu put her hands in her pockets. “I think we have the Super Bowl to thank for that. All eyes are elsewhere.”

“But that will change,” Athena predicted. “And sooner rather than later too.”

“It’s a sensational story,” Yu agreed. “If you haven’t already, I suggest appointing a family spokesperson, for when the media does find Mr. Buckley.”

It was one aspect of the situation that they hadn’t discussed, maybe because everyone just assumed that Bobby would do it. Athena wasn’t so sure. Bobby would be a good choice, but would being in front of the cameras be good for Bobby? It was something they would have to think about.

“There it is!”

Someone in the other group had spotted approaching lights. An enthusiastic cheer went up from them. Athena nearly rolled her eyes, but she had to admit that her belly was roiling with excitement too.

The minutes it took for the jet to touch down and then taxi back to the gate where they were waiting were excruciating. Finally, the jet stopped on the tarmac where they were waiting. The stairs dropped and Athena brought her clasped hands up to her mouth. To her disappointment, the first person off the plane wasn’t Bobby or Buck. It was an authoritative woman with dark hair and a no-nonsense gaze that didn’t miss any details. This was an FBI agent; Athena knew another law enforcement professional when she saw one.

The FBI agent went over to the other group, who were still being a bit rowdy. After she spoke to them for a moment, they quieted. That lasted all of about 30 seconds when a pair of women exited the plane and started down the stairs. They hadn’t made it to the bottom when the group broke away from the FBI agent and swarmed them. 

To Athena’s surprise, it was the older of the two women from the airplane that seemed to be getting all of the attention. As a police officer, Athena was trained to observe details and she noticed how the silver-haired woman recoiled just a little bit as hands reached for her. Her loved ones were very happy to see her, but were unintentionally making her homecoming more of an ordeal than it needed to be. Athena pushed off her SUV, intending to intervene, when the FBI agent who’d exited the airplane first took the situation in hand. Within moments, the group had been guided to the side and the FBI agent had inserted herself between the woman and her family.

Movement at the airplane caught the corner of Athena’s eye. She turned, hoping to see Bobby or Buck, but the man at the top of the stairs was a stranger to her. He also had an air of authority to him, with classic Italian looks that wouldn’t have been out of place in a movie about the mafia. His eyes met hers and he nodded briefly before turning back inside the plane. 

Bobby stepped out of the jet and tears sprang into Athena’s eyes. Bobby looked worn thin and it had only been a couple of days since she last saw him. Under the exhaustion, though, Athena saw two distinct emotions on her husband’s face – rage and joy. Bobby moved down a step and gestured behind as though encouraging someone else. Athena took a fortifying breath.

Buck was the next one off the plane and Athena immediately understood the combined feelings of joy and rage all too well. Joy because it was Buck. Thinner, wan and all but lost in the LAFD sweatshirt, but Buck nonetheless. Rage, because Buck should be full of grins and sunshine, not fear and shame too big to let him lift his head. 

Athena wanted to find the men responsible crush them under her heel until they were nothing more than a bloody paste. The FBI had already caught them, though. Had done so, in fact, before Athena knew that the scumbags even existed. That rankled. 

When they were both off the stairs and safely on the ground, Bobby stepped closer to Buck and said something to him. Buck had been looking down, but Athena could tell from the way that his head was tilted that his attention was mostly on the first group and the ruckus that they were making. While Bobby was talking to him, Buck’s gaze moved to where Athena was standing. She smiled, hoping he could see that and not the tears that were streaming down her face.

The two men walked closer, Bobby gently guiding Buck with a hand to the small of his back. They stopped just a few feet short of where she stood. Athena exchanged a meaningful glance with her husband; they’d have their reunion later.

What she really wanted to do was grab Buck and hug the stuffing out of him, but Athena had worked with too many rape victims to think that was a good idea. Even if she hadn’t, seeing how the other woman had just reacted to that treatment would have set her straight.

“You are a sight for sore eyes, Buckaroo,” Athena said softly. He looked up at the sound of her voice and Athena’s breath caught at seeing those familiar blue eyes full of an unfamiliar doubt. “I would really like to hug you; would that be okay?”

Buck nodded with a shyness that just seemed fundamentally wrong. As Athena stepped forward with her arms open, however, Buck stepped readily in them. She wrapped her arms around him gently so as not to spook him. Buck was stiff at first, but then he relaxed into her hold and wrapped his arms loosely around her.

“Welcome home, Buckaroo,” Athena whispered hoarsely. “We are so damn glad to have you back. You are nothing short of a miracle.” She felt rather than saw Buck shake his head.

Athena loosened her grip enough so that she could lean back and cup Buck’s face. “You are a miracle,” Athena repeated. “You survived two events, a tsunami and trafficking, that would have killed a lesser person. I’m so proud of you.”

Buck met her gaze, but there was still no belief those eyes.

“Buck’s having a hard time accepting how amazing he is,” Bobby said.

Athena dropped her hands from Buck’s face to his shoulders. “Well, we’ll just have to keep telling you, Buckaroo, until you believe us.” She arched one eyebrow. “You may not have noticed, but some people consider me to be stubborn. You may want to starting believing now to save yourself some trouble.”

Her comment got the faintest of smiles, which thrilled her. What did not thrill her was the way that Buck dropped his head almost immediately, as though he was fearful of getting in trouble for a simple smile.

“We’ve got you, Buckaroo,” Athena told him, blinking away her own tears. “I know it’s rough right now, but you’ve got me, Bobby, your sister, and the whole 118 to help you every step of the way.”

“Excuse me.”

Athena had noticed the approach of the mafia-looking agent from the airplane. She’d been a police officer for too long not to be aware of her surroundings, no matter how wrapped up she was in greeting Buck.

“Athena, this is Agent David Rossi of the FBI. Agent Rossi, this is Sergeant Athena Grant of the LAPD, my wife.” Bobby made the introductions. “Rossi rescued Buck.”

“It was a team effort,” Rossi smiled in a self-deprecating manner. Athena’s eyes narrowed. In her experience, FBI agents, especially ones that dressed in custom suits, weren’t exactly humble. “The operation was actually under the authority of FBI’s CRU. The unit I’m with, the BAU, was just there as support.”

And that was the problem with the FBI, Athena thought to herself. Too damn many abbreviations.

“I just wanted to say goodbye to Evan,” Rossi told them before directing his next words directly to Buck. “Good luck, Evan. You’re an impressive young man.”

The FBI agent held out his hand and Buck took it, if tentatively. As Rossi and Buck shook hands, Bobby beamed, obviously pleased. 

“If you need anything, you let me know,” Rossi gave Buck a business card. He turned his attention to Athena. “I’m sure you’re anxious to get Evan home, but if you’ve got a moment, Sergeant Grant, I’ve got some shop talk for you.”

Bobby took the hint. “C’mon, Buck, let’s get this bag stowed.”

“There’s a cell phone on the back seat that’s for you, Buck,” Athena told them, figuring that her discussion with the FBI agent might take long enough that Buck would need a distraction. “Eddie got it and set it up for you.”

When the other two men were a few steps away, Rossi spoke quietly to Athena. “Keep an eye on the local news. Word got leaked about the Menagerie raid in New Orleans, but the Super Bowl will keep the national media busy for a day or two. Los Angeles, though, is further away from the big game and the citizens of LA have a vested interest on any tsunami victims coming back from the dead. Even though the raid happened in New Orleans, word about it is likely to break here first.”

“So when the media gets wind, be ready,” Athena filled in. “We got it.”

“This will soon be public knowledge, whether we like it or not, so I can tell you that there were five victims rescued from the Menagerie that were taken from LA in the tsunami’s aftermath. Less well known is that number is actually six, if you count a woman who was rescued earlier.” Rossi explained. “We don’t know yet how many people total were taken during the tsunami; we think that there were some that didn’t survive to be freed in the raid or were shifted to some other trafficking operation.”

“Dear Lord,” Athena murmured. “This just gets worse and worse.”

“The unit chief of the BAU and I are meeting with the mayor of Los Angeles tomorrow to try to get ahead of this,” Rossi explained. “We’ll keep the names of Evan and the other recovered out of the news for as long as we can, but it’s not going to take long for details to get out. As the family and friends of each recovered person finds out, they’ll tell more people and those will tell others, and so on.”

Athena sighed. Buck’s was a survival story of epic proportions and she was sure that the same was true of the other people rescued. She knew that it was human nature to be curious, but when it was someone she loved that would be in the spotlight, she wished that wasn’t true.

“A press conference is likely at some point,” Rossi continued. “I’ll give Captain Nash a heads-up when I have more information. It’ll probably happen sooner rather than later, though.”

“Thank you,” Athena was grateful; they could use all the warning they could get.

“But that’s not why I wanted to talk to you,” Rossi said.

Athena narrowed her eyes at him. “It’s not?”

Rossi took a folded piece of paper out of his suit coat pocket and handed it to her. “Like I told your husband, the Menagerie’s enforcer got away during the raid. We haven’t been able to identify him yet, but several of the survivors, including Evan, contributed to this composite sketch. The bastard goes by the name of Cory.”

The man in the drawing had a thick neck and a mean look. There wasn’t a lot of detail, so Athena hoped the FBI had more information than just the sketch to find the man.

“You think this Cory might come after Buck?” She asked.

Rossi shrugged. “If he’s smart, he won’t, but better safe than sorry.”

On that, they could agree.

“I’ll see to it that this gets distributed,” she glanced at the SUV, where Bobby and Buck were waiting for her. “Thank you. Again.”

Rossi chuckled. “Okay, I’ll stop talking so you can get Evan home. Take care of him.”

“You can count on it,” Athena shook Rossi’s hand, but didn’t waste time watching him walk to the other FBI agents. Instead, she quickly made her way to the driver’s side of the SUV. 

Bobby was sitting in the front, not that Athena was surprised. He was in the passenger’s seat, which was a relief. There was no way that Athena would like Bobby drive, not when he looked so exhausted. Buck was in the back and Athena could see the glow of the new phone.

“Let’s go home.” Athena started the SUV. 

“Sounds good to me,” Bobby sounded as tired as he looked, but relieved too. 

Athena glanced into the back seat. Buck was still absorbed in his phone.

“Are the kids enjoying time with their dad?” Bobby asked.

It seemed like a question out of left field, but Athena had a feeling that Bobby was just trying to bring some normalcy for Buck. Maybe for all of them. 

“I don’t know who’s more ecstatic, Michael or the kids,” Athena replied. “They haven’t had much time alone with him lately; it’s good for all of them.”

The couple kept up a conversation notable only for its normalcy. Athena shot occasional glances back at Buck. His head was always down, but she could tell from the tilt of his head that Buck was listening. She wondered how long it had been since he’d simply heard people talking about topics other than sex and pain.

The Super Bowl was over, but people must still be at their parties, because the traffic was more reasonable than it tended to be. When their conversation ran out, Bobby simply picked up Athena’s hand and kissed the back of it. In a comfortable silence, holding hands, the ride continued until Athena was pulling the SUV into the garage.

Athena went to the door, key in hand, and let the boys figure out who would be carrying the duffle. When they approached, she saw that Buck had it. From the look of satisfaction on Bobby’s face, she could only guess that it had been Buck’s idea that he carry it. Small victories.

“Buck, honey, just put the bag down for now.” Athena directed. “I imagine that you two are starving. I’ve got some soup going in the crockpot.”

“You had time to cook?” Bobby asked as they entered the kitchen.

“No, you did,” Athena said, gesturing toward the table, which was already set with plastic utensils. “We still had some of the chicken noodle you stockpiled in the freezer for when Michael was undergoing chemo.”

Buck had been starting to sit down, but stopped halfway. He looked at Athena in surprise and then turned to Bobby. Buck lifted both hands, palms up.

“I’m sorry, I hadn’t gotten around to telling you yet,” Bobby looked sheepish. He’d unplugged the crockpot and was in the process of moving it from the kitchen counter to the table. “Michael was diagnosed with brain cancer a few weeks after you disappeared.”

Bobby had barely finished speaking before Buck turned to Athena. He didn’t need to sign anything, she read the question marks in his eyes.

“Michael’s okay,” Athena assured him. She filled bowls as Bobby handed them to her. “It was rough there for a while. He had to have chemo until the tumor shrunk enough for surgery. They think they got it all, but we won’t know for sure for a while. Until then all we can do is pray.”

Athena had eaten dinner earlier, but when she’d first smelled the soup, she realized that she was hungry again. The last couple of days, she’d been too busy to think about eating much. Bobby also tucked into the soup, but Athena watched as Buck just dragged his spoon through it.

“Buck, honey, aren’t you hungry?” Athena asked.

“I know it sounds like bragging, kid, but this is a lot better than what they had at the hospital,” Bobby said. “Although, come to think of it, that wouldn’t be too hard.”

Buck took a tentative bite. After swallowing it, he smiled a little. The next spoonful he took was eaten a lot more enthusiastically. The was companionable silence in the kitchen as the three of them ate. Athena and Bobby made short work of their soup, but Buck was pushing his bowl away when he was barely half done.

Athena would have tried to cajole him into eating more, but Bobby covered her hand in his. When she looked at him, Bobby made a quick shake of his head. Athena sighed, but didn’t argue. Bobby got up and started gathering the bowls. 

“Good job, kid,” Bobby said to Buck when he took his. 

Working seamlessly together, the couple got the leftover soup into the fridge and the dishes into the sink.

“Just leave them,” Athena instructed. “We’ll get them in the morning. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted. Come on, Buck, let’s get you settled.”

With Athena in the lead, the three trooped downstairs. Athena went to the converted study and turned the light on, stepping back to let Buck enter. Bobby was right behind him.

“Wow, it looks nice,” Bobby exclaimed.

They’d been busy. Carla had brought over the clothes that she and Maddie had washed, in addition to some personal items of Buck’s that Maddie and Chim had been storing. The latter were scattered on the shelves, as well as various framed photos of Buck’s family and friends. In a place of honor on the wall were framed drawings that Christopher had done in the past for Buck. 

Buck approached the drawings, smiling at first, but then his smile suddenly dropped as he looked at Bobby in concern. He gestured from the Christopher’s drawings to himself urgently.

“Athena, do you know if Eddie has told Christopher that Buck is alive yet?” Bobby asked his wife. 

“I don’t think so,” Athena answered. “I haven’t told Harry or May yet and I don’t think that Hen and Karen have broken the news to Denny yet either.” She walked to Buck and put a gentle hand on his arm. “But, Buckaroo, they have to know sometime. Although, for the life of me, I’m not sure how we’re going to explain it.”

Buck’s head dropped and Athena could see some of the life go out of him.

“Buck, telling them, that’s for the parents to worry about,” Bobby said firmly. “With the exception of May, the kids are too young to understand what trafficking is and how profoundly it hurt you. But to be honest, I think they’re going to be so thrilled that they’re not much going to care how you came back, only that you did.”

“That’s something to worry about tomorrow,” Athena said firmly. “Everything looks worse when you’re tired. In the morning, we’ll get a fresh take on it. Come on, let me show you where your things are.”

It didn’t take Athena long to give Buck a tour of his room and to show him where everything was. She didn’t take him to the bathroom down the hall, knowing that he’d been in their house before and would know where it was. She did, however, explain that he was free to use any of the toiletries there.

“You think you’ll be okay?” Athena asked as she grabbed Bobby by the hand, intending to lead him to their bedroom. 

Buck nodded, although she couldn’t exactly describe him as happy.

“Actually, I’m not,” Bobby admitted. He looked embarrassed, but determined. “I think I’ll sleep on the couch outside Buck’s room. Just in case he has any nightmares or wakes up and forgets where he is.”

Athena was annoyed for a hot second, but at herself and not Bobby. Of course Bobby was feeling protective of Buck and would want to stick close. She should have figured that out.

“Okay, I’ll get some blankets and the air mattress.”

Bobby shook his head. “The air mattress isn’t necessary. I’ll be fine on the couch.”

“No, I’ll be fine on the couch,” Athena disagreed. “You’ll be fine on the air mattress.”

Athena hadn’t spent the last two days with Buck. When it came down to it, she wasn’t feeling that comfortable leaving him either and she especially wasn’t comfortable sleeping alone when her husband was in the house.

Bobby’s fingers twitched and Athena could tell from the heat in her husband’s eyes that he wanted to kiss her. She wanted that too, badly, but they were both too aware of the emotionally wounded man in their care.

“You can close the door or leave it open,” Bobby’s voice was a little rough when he addressed Buck. “And don’t hesitate if you need anything.”

Buck nodded without looking either of them in the eyes. He retreated to the bedroom and didn’t come out while Athena and Bobby built their beds and then took turns going upstairs to freshen up. Athena noticed that the door had been left cracked and resisted the impulse to peek in and check on Buck. The man deserved his privacy.

Athena got her kiss when she and Bobby were about to get into their respective beds. Bobby wrapped his arms around her and gave her a kiss that started chaste, but soon heated up. One kiss lead to another one and it was with a moan that Athena broke away. 

“We can’t,” Athena put her finger over Bobby’s lips and nodded towards the bedroom where Buck was.

“I know,” Bobby leaned his forehead into hers. “Eventually he’s going to have to get used to being around normal people doing normal displays of affection. . . .”

“But not tonight,” Athena finished for him.

“But not tonight,” Bobby agreed. He smiled at Athena. “How’d I get so lucky to have found you?”

“I don’t know, but I’ll show you just how lucky you are when we have more privacy.”

Bobby laughed softly. “I’ll hold you to that.”

Athena arched one eyebrow. “You better.”

Neither the couch nor the air mattress was the most comfortable of beds, but Bobby fell asleep right away and Athena drifted off right after. She wasn’t sure how long she slept until a shout from the other room broke her sleep abruptly.

“Christopher!”

As quick as Athena was to wake and sit up, Bobby was even faster. He jumped off the air mattress and was headed towards the bedroom before Athena could get off the couch. By the time she reached the room, Bobby had the light on and was comforting Buck, who was on the floor in the corner. 

“Christopher is fine, you saved him,” Bobby was murmuring. “He’s safe.”

Athena could see that Bobby’s words weren’t making much of a difference. Buck was struggling in Bobby’s arms and she could see that he was crying. Athena saw Buck’s phone sitting on a table next to the chair. She grabbed it and quickly unlocked it, blessing Eddie for thinking to tell her the code. She quickly navigated to the photos section. She already knew that Eddie had loaded it with photos. She navigated until she found a video of Christopher.

With the phone in hand, Athena approached where Bobby knelt with Buck. She thumbed the sound up as loud as it would go and started the video. As soon as Buck heard Christopher’s recorded voice, his struggles subsided. 

“Chris?”

“He’s safe,” Athena told him. She cupped the back of Buck’s head and played the video again. “This was taken last week. Christopher’s alive and he’s safe and he’s with his dad.”

Buck stayed tense for a moment and then he collapsed into Bobby’s arms. Bobby pulled him close and rocked him as Buck sobbed silently.

When Bobby looked at Athena, there were tears in his eyes. “Give us a minute, all right?”

Athena swallowed heavily. “Take as long as you need.”

She left the room, quietly pulling the door shut behind her. Athena went back to her bed on the couch and laid down, but she figured that sleep would be a long time coming.


	15. Chapter 15

Bobby woke up to the tantalizing smell of cooking bacon. There were worse ways to be awakened. He started to get up from the floor and had to stifle a groan. He hurt. Although he’d eventually dragged the air mattress in from the other room, Bobby’s aching body reminded him that it’d been a couple of days since he’d gotten any sleep on a decent surface. In Bobby’s opinion, the hospital bed definitely didn’t count.

When he opened his eyes, Bobby noticed that Buck’s eyes were open too. They were partially covered by the curls of hair that had flopped over his face, but the bright blue was still visible.

“Good morning,” Bobby greeted him affably. He didn’t ask how Buck’s slept, since he knew all too well that Buck’s rest had been interrupted by a nightmare.

Buck blinked at him, which at first Bobby thought would be the only response that he got. Buck surprised him, though, by following up with a little wave of his hand. Well, mostly a wiggling of his fingers in Bobby’s direction, but Bobby took that it a good sign.

“I’m going to go upstairs to get dressed,” Bobby told the other man. “Feel free to come up when you’re ready. From the way it smells, Athena has breakfast started.”

Bobby didn’t attempt to talk about the nightmare; it’d been all too clear the night before what it had been about. It was Monday, though, which meant that they’d be able to set up an appointment for Buck with a counselor. All they had to do first was choose one. Hopefully that meant that Buck would soon be getting professional help in dealing with everything that had happened to him.

When Bobby left the room, Buck was getting out the recliner that had acted as his bed. Given the scents wafting from the kitchen, Bobby wasn’t surprised to see that Athena was gone from the couch. All that was left was a small stack of neatly folded blankets. Bobby frowned at them; he didn’t want Athena to sleep there more than the one night.

In the kitchen, Athena was at the stove, scrambling some eggs. As with everything, she used an economy of motion that made anything she did graceful. While he watched, Athena put the wooden spoon down, picked up a pair of potholders and turned to the oven. When she pulled out a pan of biscuits, Bobby heard his stomach growling. So did Athena.

“Well, don’t just stand there, make yourself useful,” Athena told him, her bright smile and fond tone of voice at odds with her snippy words. “Those eggs aren’t going to scramble themselves.”

Bobby moved to the stove, but stopped long enough as he passed her to exchange a brief kiss. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Athena replied. She put the pan of biscuits down on the counter and began transferring them to a basket. “I hope you’re hungry.”

“I am - . . . .” Bobby’s voice broke off as he looked more closely at the food. “How long have you been up?”

In addition to the eggs he was finishing scrambling and the biscuits, Bobby saw a bowl of cut fresh fruit and a plate full of bacon. Sitting next to those there were two loaves of what looked like freshly baked banana bread.

“I couldn’t go back to sleep after Buck. . . .” Athena’s voice faltered. “Well, after his nightmare, so I decided I might as well do something productive.”

Bobby took another look at the food. “I think this is more than productive. It looks like you’re getting ready to feed a small army.”

“No, just the three of us,” Athena said. “I was hoping to find something that would pique Buck’s appetite.”

“I’m not sure appetite’s the problem,” Bobby replied. He finished the eggs and scooped them into a bowl. “But if your biscuits don’t make him want breakfast, I don’t know what will.”

Bobby was just considering if he should call Buck up to eat when he heard a soft tread on the stairs. Buck became visible a moment later. He was still dressed in sleep pants and the ever-present LAFD hoodie, so Bobby assumed that Buck hadn’t showered yet.

“Good morning,” Athena greeted him. “You’re just in time.”

At her encouragement, Buck took a seat at the table, across from where Bobby and Athena sat. Places were already set, complete with plastic cutlery. After a quick prayer with bowed heads, Bobby started with the bowl of eggs, putting a large dollop on his plate, he handed it off to Athena, who did the same. It was when the bowl got to Buck that there was a problem.

Buck took the bowl readily enough from Athena, but then he just held it as though he didn’t know what to do. Bobby took a closer look at Buck and realized that the younger man’s eyes were darting around the table. Bobby took another look at the food and thought he might know what the problem was.

Choice.

Buck probably hadn’t had an opportunity in nine months to choose what he wanted to eat. Even at the hospital, food choices had already been on a tray. After that long, the bounty that Athena has provided was probably overwhelming.

“Buck, hey, it’s okay,” Bobby said softly. “It’s a lot, huh?”

Blushing furiously, Buck nodded. His hair flopped into his eyes and he made no effort to move it.

“All right, we’ll take it one dish at a time,” Bobby nodded at the bowl that Buck was still holding. “You had eggs yesterday, do you want them today too?”

Buck looked from the bowl to Bobby, then over to Athena.

“It’s okay, Buck,” Athena reassured him. “I’m not going to get mad if you don’t want something.”

Very, very slowly, Buck set the dish of scrambled eggs down and pushed it slightly aside. As he did, he kept his head down, but looked at them through lowered lashes. Bobby decided that the best reaction was no reaction and just calmly took some bacon before passing it to Athena.

Most of the rest of the items passed smoothly, with Buck taking small amounts, but none of it enthusiastically. That changed when they got to the biscuits. Seeing them caused Buck’s eyes to widen and he smiled slightly as he took one. He slid Bobby and Athena another glance under his lashes as he took a second.

Athena chuckled as she slid the butter and jam in his direction. “Go ahead, Buckaroo, no one’s going to stop you.”

Bobby and Athena kept the conversation light and tried to hide the fact that they were watching every bite that Buck made. Not that there was much to watch. Despite the good start with the biscuits, Buck ate the rest of what he took, but didn’t make a move to take more, despite Athena offering.

When it was obvious that all three of them were through eating, Bobby decided it was time to get down to business.

“Loretta Johnson gave me a list of suggestions for counselors, did you want to look it over to see if you have a preference?”

Buck shrugged and Bobby sighed. Buck was getting better with other types of communication that Bobby had begun hope they’d seen the last of the shrugs.

“Are you okay with us picking out one for you?” Bobby asked.

After a moment, Buck nodded.

“Good,” Bobby said. “Thank you.”

“Buck, Maddie was hoping that you would come visit her today, are you up for it?” Athena asked.

Buck bit his lip, but eventually nodded.

“Good,” Bobby smiled. “I know that’s a difficult decision, but I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you.”

“I think that’s an understatement,” Athena stood up. Of the three of them, she was the only one already showered and dressed. “Buck, why don’t you start getting ready while Bobby and I clean this up?”

Buck got up from the table and took his plate to the sink. Bobby followed suit and started gathering bowls. He noticed, though, that Buck hesitated by the glass door to the back yard.

“You can go out if you want,” Bobby told him.

It was a little chilly, but for Los Angeles, that meant just under 70 degrees. In Minnesota, that would be flip flop weather. Best yet, it was very sunny, and the nutritionist had explained that Buck was low on Vitamin D. He’d probably been outside very little since being taken. Sunshine would be good for him.

Buck didn’t have to be told twice and that in itself was encouraging, since he was tentative about so much else. As Bobby watched, Buck stepped outside and into the sunshine, tipping his head back as though he were drinking it in. Bobby couldn’t stop himself. He reached for his phone and snapped a quick photo.

“That is a beautiful sight,” Athena came up behind Bobby and leaned against his side.

“Yeah, I’ll have to share that one with the group,” Bobby replied. “We’ll call it the morning Buck Report.”

Athena abruptly moved away and went back to the dishes. “You’ll have to be sure to include how I messed up, so no one repeats the mistake.”

Bobby looked up, genuinely confused. “Messed up? How?”

Athena scraped the remaining eggs out of the bowl and into the compost container with more vigor than was necessary. “By overwhelming the boy. Couldn’t give him just a simple breakfast, had to make everything under the sun. That was more about my pride than what was good for Buck.”

After hitting send on the text, Bobby approached Athena and took the bacon plate out of her hands and set it on the counter before wrapping her in his arms. He loved it that she was the perfect height that he could rest his chin on the top of her head. “Buck ate more this morning than I’ve seen in the last two days. That is not messing up.”

His wife remained tense. “I didn’t need to make so much.”

Bobby sighed. “Buck’s a minefield right now. We just have to learn to tread carefully. We’ll figure it out.”

Behind them, the sliding glass door opened and, like a couple of guilty teenagers, the couple broke apart. Athena returned her attention to cleaning up and Bobby turned to Buck.

“You didn’t get too chilly, did you?” He asked.

Buck shook his head and his eyes darted towards the stairs.

“All right come up when you’re done. I need a shower too, but I’ll wait until I hear the water turn off.”

After Buck headed back down, Bobby and Athena exchanged a glance and let out twin sighs of relief.

“It doesn’t look like we upset him too much,” Athena said, but there was a worry line marring her forehead.

Bobby shook his head. “He’s going to have to adjust to normal displays of affection.”

The two of them fell into a routine work pattern. Athena gathered the dishes and brought them to the sink while Bobby rinsed off what needed it and then loaded the dishwasher.

“That’s odd,” Athena murmured. “Bobby, you don’t have the chef’s knife, do you?”

Bobby looked around. “No.” It had a wooden handle, so they liked to wash it by hand rather than putting it in the dishwasher.

“I was sure I left it right here,” Athena pointed to the end of the counter. “So it wouldn’t get mixed up with the rest. I used it to cut the fruit.”

A knife was missing and it had been last seen on the counter that was closest to the stairs.

“You don’t think that Buck would . . .” Athena’s voice broke off in horror, but Bobby was already headed for the stairs.

The two of them made it downstairs in record time. The bathroom door was shut, with a light shining from the crack beneath the door and the floor.

“Buck?” Bobby called even before he got all the way there. “Can I come in?” He stopped just shy of trying the doorknob to see if it were locked. He didn’t want to betray Buck’s trust unless he was absolutely sure there was a valid reason.

The door opened. Slowly, but it opened. Buck stood there, the knife held in one hand. In the other hand was. . . hair?

“Buck, honey, what are you doing?” Athena asked in a strangled tone. Bobby wasn’t sure if she was trying not to laugh or trying not to cry. Maybe both.

Buck pointed to his head and Bobby realized what the younger man wanted the knife for. “Kid, if you wanted a haircut, all you had to do was say something.” Bobby wiped a hand across his face as he realized what he’d said. “You know what I mean, we would have figured it out.”

Bobby mentally swore at himself as Buck blushed and looked away. He should have figured this out. Like so much else, the longer hair hadn’t been Buck’s choice. Of course Buck would want to get rid of it as soon as he could.

“Give me back my kitchen knife,” Athena held out her hand and Buck reluctantly put the knife in it, handle first. “Who do you think takes care of Michael, Harry and Bobby’s hair, hm? Take your shower and when you come back upstairs, I can do yours. I’ll get the clippers out.”

Buck perked up at that and made the sign for thank you. Bobby was about to translate when he realized he didn’t need to.

“You’re welcome,” Athena had obviously understood the sign. “I’ll see you when you’re done.”

There wasn’t anything Bobby could add, so he just nodded at Buck and followed Athena, almost meekly, back upstairs. It was only then that Bobby felt he could breathe freely again.

“Did you look at his eyes?” Bobby asked. “He didn’t know why we were worried; suicide never occurred to him.”

“Our Buck is a tough one,” Athena agreed. “So far. You know that might change, right?”

“I know,” Bobby admitted. “We’ll just have to make sure we keep an eye on him.”

“Well, if I know the 118, we’ll have no shortage of those.” Athena said. “Can you finish up in here? I have some clippers to find.”

“Go ahead,” Bobby told her. “I’ve got this.”

After she left the room, Bobby put both hands on the counter and leaned in. He and Athena had been wrong about why Buck took the knife, but what if they hadn’t been? Bobby couldn’t get that appointment with a therapist set up soon enough. He’d feel a lot better when they got professional help for Buck.

911 -- 911 -- 911 -- 911

“Faster.”

Chim gave her a pleading look, but Maddie was Evan Buckley’s sister and had developed an immunity to puppy dog eyes years ago. “Faster.”

Maddie felt like she was about to jump out of her skin. Bobby had texted that they were on the way. In a matter of minutes, she would see her ‘dead’ brother with her own eyes and hold him in her own arms. Maddie was sure that the wait was going to kill her and longed to get up and pace, but since she was on bed rest, that would be ill-advised. Chim had offered to do anything he could do to help and Maddie had taken him up on it – by having Chim pace for her.

“Where are they?” Maddie asked. She moved as though to get up.

“Hey, no getting up until they get here,” Chim protested. “It’s enough of a compromise that you’re on the couch and not the bed.”

For what felt for the millionth time, Maddie reminded herself that the pregnancy was a first for Chim too. He was fussing because he loved her, and their unborn children.

“I am not seeing my brother for the first time in nine months laying on a bed, especially after what he’s been through. Besides, you know the bed rest is just temporary,” Maddie reminded him. “Just until I get past the ‘emotional upheaval,’” she made air quotes for the phrase that her doctor had used. “It’s not like there’s something physically wrong with me.”

It was maybe a little bit more than that, but Maddie was unwilling to admit it. The truth was that she’d been through a lot of stress in the last couple of years. Starting with fleeing her husband and ending with finding that the brother she’d deeply grieved was alive, added to having a very stressful job, had left her emotionally wrung out. Pregnant with twins and wrung out was not a good combination. Maddie had already talked to her boss about staying off the phones for the rest of her pregnancy. Assuming, that was, that her doctor okayed her to go back to work.

But that was a worry for another day. Today was all about Buck.

“They’re here,” Chimney announced.

Once Maddie’s heart started beating again, she started pushing herself off the couch. She was only five months along, but since she was carrying two babies, she was big already. “Help me.”

Chim hurried to her side and offered her an arm. Maddie used it to leverage herself to her feet. She’d barely made it before the doorbell rang.

“Go ahead and answer it, I’ll stay in here,” Maddie told Chim. She had a feeling that once she saw Buck, she wouldn’t be moving for a while and it would be a lot more comfortable if that happened in the living room.

Maddie heard Chim answer the front door and the sound of voices. Buck’s voice was noticeable absent. Chim’s voice became muffled for a moment and Maddie was hoping that meant that Buck was willing to hug him. Chim deserved it. Not only had he kept Maddie sane, but he’d had to deal with his own emotions too. Buck was like a little brother to Chim too, but most of his grief for Buck had been pushed aside for Maddie’s.

Someone walked into the living room and Maddie didn’t have time to feel any disappointment at seeing that it was Bobby instead of Buck because Buck was right behind the older man. Maddie felt rather than heard herself whimper. Buck started moving forward and Maddie held out her arms, her hands making grabbing motions. Buck moved forward and, finally, was in her embrace.

Buck was a tall man and his arms were long to match that height. Maddie had never been so thankful for that because he wrapped his arms around her easily, baby belly and all. He also leaned down so that he could put his head on her shoulder. Maddie hid her face in his neck, her nose tickled by the short hairs there. She breathed in Buck’s scent, felt his warmth and finally let herself truly believe that he was alive. 

The next thing that Maddie knew, she and Buck were on the floor with their backs against the couch, legs stretched out in front of them, with Maddie’s pillowed on top of Buck’s. Maddie’s face felt odd and she reached up to touch her cheek. Her fingers came away wet. She wasn’t surprised to find herself weeping; only that she hadn’t realized that she’d started crying.

Buck’s head was resting against Maddie’s shoulder. “Buck, look at me, please.”

She could feel him shake his head no and sighed. Maybe it was for the best; it would be easier to say what she had to without seeing the expression in his eyes.

“I’ve only heard a little bit of what you’ve been through and I can’t imagine what that was like,” Maddie started. She felt Buck stiffen and she put her arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer. “But I know what it’s like to be hurt by someone over and over again and not be able to stop it. I know what it’s like to have them tell you that you’re worthless so often that you begin to believe it.”

Buck went so still that Maddie wasn’t sure that he was breathing. She continued.

“I know what it’s like to have someone rape you, over and over again,” Maddie swallowed really hard. She hadn’t come out and said that to Buck before. Sure it was implied that the abuse she’d endured at the hands of her husband had been sexual too, but there was a big difference between inferring something and outright stating it out loud.

“What Doug did to me,” Maddie’s mouth twisted at having to say his name. ”Doesn’t compare to what those traffickers did to you, but I wanted you to know anyway. You can tell me anything, Buck. You don’t need to protect me or be ashamed.”

Buck shook his head.

“Shhhhhhh,” Maddie began stroking his hair. “Don’t argue with me, just let me appreciate that you’re alive for a little bit.”

Maddie wasn’t sure how long they sat there, but eventually she noticed Chim peeking in. By that time, Buck had slid down until his head was in what was left of her lap. Maddie was still petting his hair and the siblings were just silently reveling in each other’s presence. When Chim saw that Maddie was looking at him, he gave her a thumb’s up with his hand while his eyebrows raised in a question. She nodded and smiled at him, tears welling in her eyes out of pure happiness. Chim then made a motion mimicking eating and Maddie’s stomach rumbled. She hadn’t realized that she was hungry. She nodded and Chim disappeared.

Buck sat up. He didn’t appear to have noticed Chim, but he was looking at Maddie’s belly as though he expected it to explode. Maddie couldn’t help it, she giggled. Startled, Buck looked up at her.

“Don’t worry, I’m just hungry. I’m not about to give birth or anything-. . . .” Maddie’s voice broke off as she felt one of the boys kick. She rubbed the spot. “Take it easy there, buster, your mom’s having a moment.” 

Maddie felt a touch on her arm; Buck was looking at her in concern.

“One of the babies kicked – oof, he did it again.” Maddie took Buck’s hand and laid it on her stomach. “Feel that?”

After a moment, she felt the baby kick again and Buck jumped, clearly having felt the movement. When he looked up at her, she could see tears in his eyes.

“Pretty amazing, huh?”

Buck nodded his head and kept his hand on Maddie’s belly. It was still there a half an hour later when the doorbell rang again. Buck, Maddie was touched to see, put himself between her and the door. Maddie patted him on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry, I suspect that Chim ordered takeout.”

A few minutes later, Maddie’s theory was proven when Chim came into the living room carrying some Chinese carryout containers. Bobby and Athena were right behind him, carrying paper towels and other supplies.

“Thought we could have a picnic,” Chimney announced. He looked unsure until Maddie smiled at him.

“That’s a great idea,” she said.

The others didn’t make Maddie and Buck get up. Instead, Chim cleared the coffee table off and they gathered around it. 

“Buck, I assume that you still like lo mein,” Chimney handed Buck a container and a pair of chopsticks. 

Her husband hadn’t had to ask what Maddie’s favorite was; her strongest craving so far had been for sweet and sour chicken. Maddie immediately dug into her own container and had eaten three pieces before she realized that Bobby and Athena were looking at Buck with expressions of amazement. Maddie glanced over at her brother, but didn’t see anything concerning. Buck was using the chopsticks with his usual skill, even if he was eating slowly and taking smaller bites than he usually did.

“Chim, you’re a genius,” Bobby stated with a grin.

“I am?” Chim said. “I mean, I am.” He scratched his head “Um, what part of my genius are you referring to?”

“Chopsticks,” Bobby explained. “Buck’s having some difficulty with metal utensils, but chopsticks are perfect.”

“Yes, well, that was the whole reason that I suggested Chinese instead of pizza,” Chim claimed. 

The others thought he was joking, but they didn’t know her husband the way that Maddie did. It was entirely possible that he’d done exactly that. Chim wasn’t always given enough credit for his intelligence, or his compassion.

“Hey, Buck, did Maddie tell you that Bobby married us?” Chim asked.

Buck looked at Bobby in surprise and shook his head no.

Bobby was flushed with pride. “It was my honor.”

Buck had eaten a couple of bites and then set his food aside. He looked a little lost amongst the people who were still eating.

“Chim, why don’t you get Buck the wedding album to go through,” Maddie suggested.

After setting his food down, Chim got up with an ease that Maddie envied. It would be months before she could move like that. Chim went to the bookshelves and took out an elegant white album. Before sitting back down, Chim handed the album back to Buck, who immediately started paging through it.

“We got married at the firehouse,” Maddie told him. “It seemed appropriate.”

“Volunteers from the 136 covered for the 118, that was their gift,” Chim added. “We didn’t have to worry about any alarms.”

As Buck studied the photos, Maddie looked over his shoulder and offered commentary.

“It was a pretty casual ceremony,” Maddie said. She’d already had a big wedding with Doug and hadn’t wanted anything too formal. Chim was just so thrilled to be getting married that he didn’t care. Besides, they were both mourning Buck. If not for the pregnancy, they wouldn’t have gotten married during that time at all. A big wedding would have seemed like they were disrespecting Buck’s memory. “Josh stood with me and Hen stood with Chim.”

Buck got to a certain page and his head came up with a jerk. Maddie could see the question in his eyes.

“You didn’t think we’d get married without you, did you?” Maddie asked softly.

Right in the front row, there had been a framed, poster-sized photo of Buck.

“Just like they did with Willis’ character in Armageddon,” Chim added. “Not that I expect you to know that movie.”

Buck abruptly shut the album and put it down. He pulled his knees up and hid his face in them.

Maddie lost her appetite. She put her food down and once again wrapped an arm around her baby brother. “It’s okay, Buck. We survived losing you. It wasn’t easy, but we got through it. We’re stronger for it.”

An awkward silence fell over the room as the others stopped eating too. After a moment, Chim cleared his throat.

“Buck, did I ever tell you about my friend, Kevin Lee?” Chim asked. Buck looked up and Chim continued. “He was my best friend. I joined the LAFD with him and he died.”

Buck nodded his head.

“Did Maddie tell you what names we picked out for our boys?” Chim asked. When Buck didn’t respond, Chim continued. “Well one of them is going to be named Buckley Kevin Han. That’s got a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, now we’ll have to call him Little Buck,” Maddie added, smiling through her tears. “And the other baby, his name is going to be Lee Evan Han.”

Maddie could visibly see Buck connect the dots. He pointed to his own chest and both Maddie and Chim nodded.

“We went with the last names first because naming the boys Evan and Kevin would have been a little too cutesy,” Chim explained. “Hope you don’t mind that we appropriated your name. You don’t, do you?”

Silent tears ran down Buck’s face as he shook his head no – but he wasn’t finished. “Don’t mind,” he rasped out.

Maddie grinned at Buck’s words. She was so proud of her little brother that she could pop. 

“I hate to interrupt,” Bobby spoke quietly. “While you reunited with Maddie, Buck, I was able to get you an appointment this afternoon with the therapist that Johnson recommend. We have about an hour before we need to leave.”

“In the meantime,” Athena gave a pointed look to both Chim and her own husband. “We’ll leave the two of you alone to catch up.” She jerked her head and the men joined her in grabbing takeout containers before leaving the room.

Maddie watched them leave before she turned back to her brother. “Any chance you could help me up from this floor?”

Buck got up and gave her both of his hands. To her embarrassment, Maddie needed them. Once she was on her feet, she didn’t let go of him. Maddie ungracefully lowered herself to the couch and drew Buck with her. Once there, she pulled Buck against her.

Maddie had learned the hard way not to take Buck, or anyone she loved, for granted. She had an hour with her brother? 

She was going to savor every moment.


	16. Chapter 16

Buck wasn’t happy. He hadn’t protested when Bobby said it was time to go, but he really hadn’t wanted to leave Maddie. That would have been true no matter the circumstances, but he especially didn’t want to leave her to go to a counseling session. From the way Maddie clung to him when he’d hugged her goodbye, Buck had a feeling his sister didn’t want him to leave either.

Counseling wasn’t Buck’s favorite idea. He knew that he needed to see someone about what had happened to him, but he just didn’t relish the idea of talking about it. Or, with the way things were, listening while the counselor talked about it. Buck wasn’t being silent on purpose, it was just whenever he went to say something, the words clogged in his throat. He’d open his mouth to speak, only to remember the waves of pain when the taser was used on him or, worse yet, the screams when the taser was used on someone else instead. Only when Buck was surprised or something was really, really important was he able to speak. Even then, he braced himself, waiting for the pain or the screams to start.

Athena had dropped him and Bobby off for the appointment and gone on to do errands. That made Buck feel bad too, that he was taking up so much of Bobby and Athena’s time. He was grateful for the attention they were giving him; he just couldn’t help but think that they had better things to do.

Bobby sat next to him and that was the only thing that made being in the waiting room bearable. The last time Buck had been around so many people, most of them had been clients and Buck was wondering which one of them would pay the price needed to fuck him that night. He didn’t look around the room, just kept his head and eyes down like he’d been trained. If anyone wanted to see how blue his eyes were, Buck knew that Bobby would let him know.

“Hey, you okay?” Bobby put a hand on Buck’s knee, stilling it. That was the first that Buck realized that he’d been bouncing it up and down rapidly.

Buck took a deep breath and nodded, still careful to keep his eyes down.

Bobby didn’t answer right away, but when he did, it was obvious that Buck hadn’t convinced him that he was all right. “Do you want me to come with you for this first appointment?”

A wave of relief swept over Buck at the offer and he nodded again, this time lifting his eyes to take a brief look at Bobby’s face. There was no sign of impatience or anger in the other man’s face. He quickly ducked his face again before Bobby could think to be irritated with him.

“It’s okay, Buck.” Bobby leaned over so that he could speak quietly enough that no one could overhear. “I don’t mind going in with you until you’re comfortable enough to go it alone. After what you’ve been through, no one blames you for being skittish around new people. And when you are comfortable enough that you don’t want me there, that’s okay too.”

Buck looked at him gratefully. He did not know what he did to deserve Bobby. He did the sign for “thank you,” even though he knew it didn’t come close to expressing what he truly felt.

“Evan Buckley?”

Both Buck and Bobby jumped a little at hearing Buck’s name. They looked at the door and saw a woman with a clipboard standing there. “Dr. Murphy will see you now.”

Buck took a deep breath to settle himself and got up to follow Bobby. He stuck his hands in his pockets as they walked. The clinic was in a large, multistory building and Buck wanted to draw as little attention to himself as possible. When they got to the end of the corridor, the woman knocked and opened the door.

“Dr. Murphy, I have Evan Buckley and . . . .” She turned to look at Bobby. “I’m sorry, sir, I forgot to get your name.”

“Bobby Nash.”

“That’s fine, Miranda, let them in,” Buck heard from the other room.

When they entered, Buck saw that it was a large office. On one side was a desk with shelving behind it and next to the window, there were two small couches arranged to face one another, with a small, low table between them. The office had some bland artwork on the walls, but the only personal touch was a copy of a hardcover book. It was sitting on a display easel and featured a picture of Dr. Murphy with a young woman who looked vaguely familiar to Buck. It was a comfortable room, if a bit sterile feeling.

“Evan Buckley, welcome, I’m Dr. Georgina Murphy.”

The therapist was somewhere between Maddie and Bobby in age, with blonde hair pulled back into one of those fancy twists. She was dressed in a business suit that was a grayish green color, with shoes that matched perfectly. Her nails gleamed with a manicure and her fingers sparkled with rings. The overall impression was of sophistication. Buck had known someone in high school named Georgia, but she’d insisted everyone call her George. This woman, Buck could tell from the one brief glance he took before lowering his gaze, was not a George, not by a long shot.

“Gentlemen, please, let’s take a seat.”

No one spoke as they got settled. Bobby chose the couch that was situated so that they could see the door and Buck immediately sat next to him. Dr. Murphy sat across from them.

“Mr. Buckley, may I call you Evan?”

Buck shrugged and the doctor took that as a yes. “Thank you, Evan.”

Dr. Murphy turned towards Bobby. “Mr. Nash, I’ll be blunt. What is your relationship to Evan and why are you here?”

Buck flinched. He was watching Bobby out of the corner of his eye, though, and saw the other man look back at her blandly. “I’m Buck’s captain at the LAFD and also his friend.” He turned to Buck and smiled at him. “And I will do anything I can to help him heal.”

“You do realize that helping Evan heal will include letting him go.” Dr. Murphy stated. “Evan will eventually need to talk about unpleasant things and your presence may inhibit him.”

Bobby was unruffled. “I’m here as long as Buck wants me to be and not a minute more.”

Dr. Murphy stared at Bobby for a minute before nodding. “Good.” She turned to Buck. “Evan, I’m sorry about that. Having support is going to be important for you, but there are times when support becomes smothering or hampers progress.”

Buck looked at the doctor and shook his head. Bobby’s support, and Athena’s and Maddie’s, was all that was holding him together. 

Dr. Murphy’s smile didn’t falter. “I assure you that what you feel now may change at some point.” She took a deep breath. “I understand that you were referred to me by the FBI because I have experience with kidnap victims. Are you familiar with the case of Brenda Chapman?”

The name sounded vaguely familiar and Buck looked at the book, connecting the name to the person on the cover with Dr. Murphy.

“That’s right, Brenda was kidnapped when she was a little girl and held for almost ten years. I helped her put her life back together after she was rescued and I’m sure I can help you too,” Dr. Murphy explained. “Unfortunately, all I know about your case was that you were recovered from a sex trafficking ring a few days ago. Is there anything else you can tell me about it?”

Even if Buck were better at talking, he didn’t think he could spill his guts to this stranger. He shrugged and looked at Bobby helplessly.

“Buck hasn’t been talking much,” Bobby explained.

“Well, how about writing?” Dr. Murphy asked. “I can get a notebook. . . .”

Buck shrugged again and, again, looked at Bobby.

“That didn’t work well when Loretta Johnson suggested it,” Bobby told the therapist. 

“Perhaps it will now,” Dr. Murphy went to her desk and pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. Returning to the couches, she handed them to Buck. Buck took the items, but didn’t move to use them. Unlike talking, he hadn’t even had the opportunity to write anything while under Carlyle and Cory’s control, so he didn’t have any bad memories associated with it. Then again, he didn’t need any memories of it to know it was something that they would have punished him for. Besides, it just seemed like . . . . too much. Way too much.

“Why don’t you just write your name?” Dr. Murphy suggested. “Maybe all you need is to get started. I remember that Brenda had difficulty at first, but eventually journaling became an important tool in her recovery.”

Buck didn’t think that was a good idea, but obediently picked up the pen. He put it to paper and started to move it, but stopped when he realized that he was starting to write an S and not a B or even an E. He swiftly put the pen and paper down, as though they could burn him.

“Interesting,” Dr. Murphy murmured. She turned to Bobby with a blank expression. “Mr. Nash, if you could supply some details? I’m not going to be able to help Evan without some background. With Brenda in the news so much, I knew quite a bit about her before I started working with her, but Evan is a blank slate to me.”

Only half paying attention, Buck listened while Bobby explained how Buck had disappeared in the tsunami and how he’d been recovered. Mostly, Buck was mentally kicking himself. His name was not Spot, it was Buck. His head knew that, why didn’t his fingers?

“Buck?” 

At the sound of Bobby’s voice, Buck looked up at him. Both Bobby and Dr. Murphy were looking at Buck expectantly. He blushed as he realized that he’d completely lost track of the conversation. Not knowing what else to do, so he shrugged.

“Dr. Murphy wants to know if you would sign documentation that would allow her to contact Loretta Johnson about your case,” Bobby explained.

Buck wasn’t sure how he felt about that, so he just shrugged again.

“We’ll revisit that later,” Dr. Murphy said. “Right now, my strongest recommendation is that an agent be obtained for Evan.”

Bobby looked as startled at that suggestion as Buck felt. “An agent? What for?”

“This story hasn’t hit the media yet, but it will,” Dr. Murphy didn’t seem at all phased by Bobby’s reaction. “When it does, you’ll want an agent to help Evan wade through all of the offers.”

“Offers?” Bobby’s voice sounded a little strangled. Buck looked at him again and saw that the tips of Bobby’s ears were red.

“This is an epic story and the public will be eager to hear details. The media will be anxious to provide them with information; this kind of story is good for ratings.” Dr. Murphy explained. “Brenda was hounded mercilessly until she got an agent who could handle them for her. Control the information that was released.”

“That’s what lawyers are for,” Bobby stated flatly.

“That’s one route to take,” Dr. Murphy agreed. “But an agent can make sure that Evan receives the best financial compensation possible. After all, he did lose nine months’ worth of wages, being paid for an interview or two could help offset that loss.”

Bobby swallowed a couple of times before he spoke again. Buck got the distinct impression that it was words that Bobby was swallowing. “As with everything else, that will be Buck’s decision.”

“Fine,” Dr. Murphy looked at her watch. “I think that’s enough for a first session. Mr. Nash, if you could go back to the lobby and set up the next appointments. I’m thinking three a week to start out with. Evan, if you’d stay, I’d like a moment to speak privately.”

“Buck, you okay with that?” Bobby asked before he moved a muscle.

He wasn’t, but after looking at the way the doctor was glaring at Bobby, Buck nodded. He had a feeling if he didn’t stay that she would make trouble for Bobby and that was something Buck would prevent if he could.

“Okay,” Bobby said with obvious reluctance as he got up from the sofa. “I’ll wait for you in the lobby.”

As soon as Bobby was gone, Dr. Murphy smiled at Buck. “It certainly appears that Mr. Nash has your best interests at heart, but sometimes it can be difficult for someone in your situation to speak out if a trusted person has stepped over the line. I simply wanted to give you a chance, while Mr. Nash isn’t here, to indicate if you are in any way unhappy under Mr. Nash’s care.”

For a moment, Buck couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This lady was actually questioning Bobby? He shook his head emphatically.

Dr. Murphy chuckled. “Okay, I believe you. Just keep in mind that you’re very vulnerable. I’m glad for you that you have someone you trust so much.” She stood and offered her hand. “I look forward to working with you.”

Buck stood too and reluctantly shook her hand before gratefully leaving the room. When he got to the lobby, he saw that Bobby was talking to the lady at the desk, probably setting up the next appointment. He walked up to Bobby and put his hand on his arm.

“That didn’t take long,” Bobby said. He still had stress lines around his eyes.

Buck changed his grip until he was pulling Bobby away.

“Hang on there, Buck, I need to set up the next appointment.”

Buck shook his head as emphatically as he had a few minutes earlier with the therapist. Then he tugged on Bobby’s arm again.

“Wait a minute, miss,” Bobby said to the woman helping him. He turned back to Buck. “Buck, do you want to see Dr. Murphy again?”

Buck shook his head again. No, he had no intention of seeing Dr. Murphy again and he tried to make sure that determination was in his eyes.

Bobby sighed and, because he knew him so well, Buck could see that Bobby was suppressing a smile when he turned to the lady at the desk. “I’m sorry, I guess we don’t need that appointment with Dr. Murphy after all.” 

If it were up to Buck, he would have left the office at a dead run, but Bobby walked normally. He didn’t try to talk to Buck, though, until they’d gotten outside, where Athena was waiting for them in the SUV.

“How did it go?” Athena asked as the two men buckled their seat belts. Bobby met her gaze and then Athena looked to the backseat at Buck to get his expression. “That good, huh?”

“She wanted him to get an agent,” Bobby said. 

“An agent?” Athena repeated. “What for?”

“To handle the media,” Bobby explained.

Athena snorted. “That’s what a lawyer is for.”

Buck smiled at the way she’d used the same phrasing that Bobby had earlier. It was obvious that these two were made for each other.

“Isn’t this the therapist that the FBI recommended?” Athena asked. She eased the SUV out into traffic. “The one that helped that Chapman girl.”

“Yes and she only mentioned that girl three or four times,” Bobby answered.

Buck tapped Bobby’s shoulder. When the older man turned around, Buck held up five fingers.

“You’re right, Buck, it was five times,” Bobby said. “Not to mention having her book predominantly displayed.”

“Please tell me that Buck won’t have a second appointment with this woman,” Athena said.

“Buck made it very clear that he doesn’t want to see her again,” Bobby reassured her. “We have other therapists that the FBI recommended, but I think I’ll do a little more research before making any appointments.”

“Did you turn your phone back on?” Athena asked. Bobby had warned her that a sign in the lobby instructed that cell phones were supposed to be turned off as a courtesy to the therapists. Both he and Buck had complied.

“Sorry, I forgot.”

So had Buck. He turned his phone back on and found he’d missed a couple of photos from Hen. Bobby, it turned out, had missed more than that.

“Huh, I’ve got a call from the FBI,” Bobby said. “David Rossi.”

“He called me too,” Athena said. “He wanted to make sure that we knew that there will be a press conference in New Orleans in the morning and one here in LA in the afternoon.”

“Great,” Bobby muttered. 

If Buck was talking, he would have cursed. The last thing he needed was for the whole city to know he’d been a whore. He knew some people thought of him that way anyway, but Buck hated that now it would be proven.

“Rossi said they’d tried to keep names out of it, but the mayor will have the final decision,” Athena went on.

“That’s just who needs to make that decision; a politician.”

Athena was a silent for a moment when her driving needed her attention. When she was safely merged onto the freeway, she picked up the conversation. “A friend of mine from the academy is with the LAPD’s Human Trafficking Unit. If you’d like, Buck, I can ask her for recommendations for counselors that work with trafficking survivors. Or you can stick with the FBI’s list.”

Having had one experience with the FBI’s recommendation, Buck tapped Athena on the shoulder, trying to make his choice clear. At her smile, he figured he had.

“Okay, I’ll make some calls when we get home.” Athena reassured him.

“That reminds me,” Bobby pulled out his wallet and took out a card. “If you’ll excuse me.” 

Bobby then dialed a number into his phone and held it up to his ear. From his disgruntled expression, he must have gotten voice mail. That was borne out by his next words.

“Dr. Johnson, this is Bobby Nash,” Bobby said. “Buck and I just left the counselor you recommended, Dr. Georgina Murphy and I wanted to let you know that he won’t be back. She questioned my presence in the appointment and recommended that Buck get an agent. Buck made it clear that he wouldn’t be back. I thought you should know in case you recommended her to any of the others that were recovered.”

There was a certain amount of satisfaction in Bobby’s face as he disconnected the call.

“Feel better?” Athena asked.

“Much,” Bobby said. He turned in his seat and looked back at Buck. “What say we go home?”

Buck nodded. 

“Home,” Buck said, that one word alone worth all of the bad memories that speaking out loud caused.

911 -- 911 -- 911 -- 911

Eddie drew the t-shirt over his head. The softness of the worn fabric was a luxury after the shift they’d just had. He chuckled when he realized that shirt was long enough that it went past his hips. He must have subconsciously packed one of Buck’s shirts to change into after work. Maddie had taken most of Buck’s clothes for storage, back when they packed up Buck’s apartment. Buck spent so much time at Eddie’s, though, that there were a few items there and Eddie had selfishly kept them. 

“You okay, Eddie?” Hen asked softly. 

In a way it had been a relief to be back to work after the two days that the chief had given them off. It gave Eddie a focus for his thoughts that wasn’t Buck. Then again, Eddie couldn’t help it if his thoughts kept spiraling back to Buck, even in the middle of a call.

“I’m going to tell Chris tonight,” Eddie told her. He simply didn’t know how to answer her question about if he was okay or not.

“Yeah, I got Athena’s text too.” Hen sighed. “We weren’t going to tell Denny just yet, but with the press conferences tomorrow, figured it was better that he hears it from us. I can’t imagine how much worse it’ll be for you. Denny was never as close to Buck as Chris is.”

“How do you tell a nine-year-old about sex trafficking?” Eddie asked.

Hen rubbed her face. “Honestly? I’m kind of hoping that Karen handles that part.”

Eddie smiled. “Can’t blame you for that.”

“Good luck,” Hen said as she shouldered her bag and headed out “Reach out if you need anything.”

“You too,” Eddie said.

He watched as Hen walked out, passing the wall where Buck’s picture was hanging. As they all did, she stroked the bottom of the frame. It was already shiny from a countless number of touches in the nine months that Buck had been lost. Eddie smiled fondly. He’d often thought that Buck would be honored that the 118 used his image as a good luck charm.

After stuffing his dirty laundry into his own bag, Eddie followed Hen’s lead, including stroking Buck’s picture. “Soon, buddy.”

Eddie bowed to Bobby’s assessment that Buck would be overwhelmed if they all descended on him at once. He even agreed that Maddie had top priority. That didn’t mean that waiting for their own reunion was easy. And he had no idea of how long that it would be before Christopher would be reunited with his hero.

His mind was only half on his driving as Eddie as he made his way to Christopher’s school. Normally it was Carla’s day to pick Chris up, but Eddie had made a change of plans so that he could spend time with his son.

Sooner than he was ready for, Eddie was pulling his truck up to Christopher’s school. He got out and saw his son talking to his teacher. Eddie hadn’t gotten very far in walking to them, though, before Christopher saw him.

“Dad!” Christopher grinned from ear to ear when he spotted Eddie. 

Eddie stopped and waited for Chris to come to him. Sometime since Buck was lost, Christopher had switched from calling “Daddy” to “Dad.” He knew it was inevitable that his little boy would grow up, but Eddie was just hoping it would take a little longer. He was very afraid that today’s news would only accelerate that process.

“Hi, Dad!” Chris said when he got close enough. “Where’s Carla?”

“What?” Eddie pretended to be hurt. “Can’t your old man be the one to pick you up once in a while?”

Chris laughed. “You’re not old, Dad! You won’t be old until next year, when I’m ten.”

“Thanks, partner,” Eddie grinned. Damn, but this kid always made him feel better. “Come on, let’s get going.”

Eddie didn’t drive them home and Chris was busy enough telling his dad about his day to notice at first.

“Where are we going?” The little boy eventually asked.

“The park,” Eddie told him. “I’ve got to talk to you about something.”

The silence that fell in the truck wasn’t a comfortable one. Eddie normally would have tried to change that, but he didn’t know how he could without revealing at least a part of the news. He didn’t want to do that until he didn’t have to divide his attention between his son and his driving.

The park they went to wasn’t the one with the playground that was designed to be inclusive. It wasn’t even the one that had the climbing fort that Chris loved, but couldn’t manage to play on. Instead, it was part of a cemetery. Not the one that Shannon was buried at, but a quiet space that he sometimes brought Chris when they needed to discuss serious things.

Father and son were still silent until they reached a bench underneath a tree.

“Dad, did someone get hurt?” Christopher asked before Eddie could say anything.

“No,” Eddie kept his answer short, although he really wanted to say that the news was the opposite of someone getting injured.

Chris tried again. “Are we moving again?”

“No,” Eddie’s heart hurt at Chris’ guesses. The truth was so much better and so much worse than Chris knew.

“Look, Chris, I have something to tell you and it’s good and bad news,” Eddie started. “Mostly it’s good, but some of it is pretty confusing. I mean, I’m an adult and I don’t get all of it.”

Christopher scratched at his nose. “Okay.”

Eddie took a deep breath. “It’s about Buck. There’s no easy way to say this, kid, but he’s alive.”

“Buck is alive?” Christopher’s eyes widened as he repeated what his dad had just told him. “But you said he was dead, that not even Buck could survive all that water.”

“I know I said that,” Eddie said. “I was wrong. Buck was dragged out into the ocean, but someone came along in a boat and scooped him up.”

Christopher grinned as he hugged Eddie. “Buck is alive! That’s awesome, Dad!”

Eddie ruffled Christopher’s hair, letting himself enjoy Christopher’s initial happiness. “Yeah, it is awesome, kid.”

Eventually Christopher pulled away from his father and he was no long grinning. “But where has Buck been? Why did he let us think he was dead?” Tears started running down Chris’ face. “Did. . . . did he want to leave us?”

Like his mother had.

“No, buddy, that’s not it at all,” Eddie hugged his son tightly and lifted the boy onto his lap. He knew that Christopher was nine now and felt himself too old for such things, but these were special circumstances. “Buck didn’t have a choice. The people who took him out of the water, they didn’t really rescue him. They were really bad people.”

“But they saved him?” Chris asked, not understanding at all. 

“You know how awesome Buck is,” Eddie explained. “The bad guys thought Buck was pretty awesome too and they wanted him to come work for them.” He glossed over what kind of work the bad people wanted from Buck. “So they saved him from the water, but they wouldn’t let him come home.”

Christopher thought about that for a moment. “That’s mean.”

“Yeah, it is,” Eddie said with feeling. “That’s why I said they were bad people.”

“When can I see him?” Christopher shrugged off his confusion and got back to the miracle of Buck being alive. “Can we go now?”

“No, Christopher,” Eddie said sadly. “Buck is really overwhelmed right now, so you’re going have to wait to see him.”

“Why?” Christopher came dangerously close to whining. “I want to see Buck!”

“I know, buddy,” Eddie told him. “But Bobby said that Buck is so overwhelmed that he’s only said a word or two. Basically, he’s not talking.”

“But Buck likes to talk,” Chris whispered.

Eddie squeezed his son closer. “I know and he likes to eat too, but Bobby says he’s not doing much of that either. 

Christopher was quiet while he thought and Eddie let him.

“Is Buck mad at me?” Chris eventually asked.

His question floor Eddie. “Why would Buck be mad at you?”

Christopher looked down. “Because I wanted to go to the pier and then he had to save me. The bad people wouldn’t have got him if I’d wanted to go to the movies instead.”

Eddie put his fingers under Christopher’s chin and gently raised the boy’s tear-stained face so that he could look his dad in the eyes. “Buck is not mad at you, I promise.” He frantically tried to think of something to convince the boy of that and sighed in relief as something occurred to him.

“Do you remember when I said that Buck isn’t talking right now, except for a couple of words?” Eddie asked. He waited for Christopher to nod before continuing. “Well, Bobby said that one of the words that Buck has said, the very first word, in fact, was your name. Bobby said that Buck wouldn’t relax until he knew you were okay.”

“Really?” Christopher asked.

Eddie pressed a kiss to his son’s forehead. “Really.”

For a few minutes the two sat there, Christopher’s head resting against Eddie’s chest. After a while, Eddie decided it was time to go home.

“Come on, kid, let’s get out of here,” He shifted Christopher and the boy slid off Eddie’s lap and onto the bench. “You want to get some pizza for dinner?”

“Dad, can we stop at the mall first?” Christopher asked. 

“O-okay,” Eddie said slowly. There wasn’t much he’d deny his son at this moment. “But why?”

Christopher’s little face was determined. “I still have some birthday money left and I want to make a teddy bear for Buck. Hugs make everything feel better and if Buck isn’t seeing his friends right now, he’ll need something to hug.”

Eddie blinked back tears. Christopher’s compassion never ceased to amaze him. “I think Buck will like that, buddy. That’s a great idea.”

“And when we go home, we’re gonna make cookies. Buck likes cookies; he’ll eat those.” Christopher got off the bench and grabbed his crutches. “I’ll draw him some new pictures too.”

“Sounds like you’ve got it all planned out,” Eddie said, half teasing and half in admiration.

“Yup.” Christopher nodded. “Buck saved me and now I’m gonna save Buck.” He started off for the truck and looked back at Eddie impatiently. “C’mon, Dad!”

“Yes, sir!” Eddie snapped a salute at Chris, but the boy’s back was already turned as he continued making his painstaking way towards the truck.

It wasn’t going to be that easy; Eddie knew that. But for the moment, he let himself be carried away by Christopher’s confidence.

They were going to save Buck.


	17. Chapter 17

There were many things that David Rossi admired about his unit chief. Emily Prentiss was intelligent; determined; and, above all, she cared. All of which counted for nothing when trying to convince a politician of something he didn’t want to hear, especially during an election year.

“Sir, I can’t emphasize enough how fragile the survivors are,” Prentiss told the LA mayor. “Releasing their names to the public now is like throwing them to the wolves. The media will be all over them and that will have a detrimental impact on their ability to recover from their experience.”

“I’ll take that into account, Agent Prentiss,” the mayor said as he left the room. “But ultimately I have to do what is best for the people of Los Angeles. I’ll see you this afternoon at the press conference.”

Prentiss waited until the man and his entourage had left the room before she spoke again. “Shit.”

“He’s not entirely wrong,” Jenna Atkins pointed out. She was the local FBI SSA with the Civil Rights Unit. “Hundreds of people went missing during the tsunami, presumed drowned. If we announce that five people that were thought to be dead are alive, it will raise the hopes of all of those with missing loved ones. Releasing five names to the public versus hundreds or thousands of people having falsely raised hopes? I can see the mayor’s point.”

Prentiss leveled the FBI agent with a look that was just short of a glare. “You haven’t met any of the survivors.”

“Not these, no,” Atkins kept her cool. “But I’ve met plenty of others.”

“In the end, we can only advise,” David interjected. “This decision is out of our control; we just have to prepare for the fallout if he decides to release the names.”

And they all knew that a seasoned politician like the mayor wouldn’t make that decision until the FBI’s press conference took place in New Orleans. Mayor Keely would want to see the initial reaction from the public before he decided how to handle it.

“I’ll warn Margo Kingsley, if you’ll take Evan Buckley,” Prentiss said. “I don’t think this is news they should get over the phone.”

“Agreed,” David said. He looked at his watch. “The New Orleans press conference is about to begin. I’m going to head out now and listen to it on the road. With the traffic in LA, it’ll be over by the time I get to where Evan Buckley is staying.”

Prentiss gathered her things. “Good idea; I’ll do the same.”

“After the New Orleans press conference is over, I’ll contact Whittaker and tell her what Keely is considering,” Atkins offered. “She can take care of the notifying those that are still in New Orleans.”

“What’s your pull with the local PD?” Prentiss asked. “Margo and Evan are the only two survivors in LA, do you think you can arrange some protection for them? Once it gets out, the press will be all over them. The others, at least, are out of reach in New Orleans.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Atkins promised. “Meet back at the FBI office and we can compare notes before the press conference.”

The three FBI agents split up into their separate vehicles. David took a moment to connect his phone so that it could charge while he drove and put it on speaker, enabling him to hear the press conference. He’d barely got everything ready before the press conference started. David was pulling out of the parking lot as a brief introduction was made for an Assistant Director from the FBI.

“We all know that human trafficking has become a growing problem in our country,” the assistant director opened the press conference. “The FBI’s Civil Rights Unit, along with substantial assistance from the NOPD, made a major inroad earlier this week when they broke up a human trafficking ring that operated on a national level. Agent Tamara Whittaker was the agent in charge of the sting; I’ll let her give you the details.”

There was a pause while the assistant director stood down and Whittaker took the podium.

“Thank you, I’ll get right to the point. At approximately 11 pm on Thursday, January 30, the FBI’s Civil Rights Unit, in cooperation with members of the NOPD, the FBI’s SWAT and the Behavioral Analysis Units, along with a civilian informant, located, infiltrated and raided a human trafficking operation known as the Menagerie. This is one of the largest such raids that has been made since the formation of the CRU and it would not have been possible without the aid of the agencies that I just named.”

David grimaced. Whittaker was a bit of a politician herself, making sure to spread the glory. Emily did the same sort of thing when she had to make public statements, but was much smoother about it than Whittaker was.

“What made the shutdown of the Menagerie so difficult was that the operation was mobile and changed cities every few weeks. Their props, setting materials and other items needed were transported using a small fleet of semi-trucks and the people that they controlled were transported using panel trucks that were not subject to the usual inspections that the semis had to pass. This allowed them to transport and keep nearly two dozen individuals captive without alerting any of the authorities.”

“We began to hear rumors of the Menagerie’s existence approximately six months ago, but not until an individual escaped from their control did we have the detail needed to trace them with any accuracy.”

David snorted and spoke, even though she couldn’t hear him. “That’s because you don’t have Penelope Garcia on your team.”

“The Super Bowl has been known to be a hotbed of human trafficking activity and so we were confident that the Menagerie would be in the area. Thanks in part to the details their former captive provided us, we were able to confirm their presence and also locate a civilian informant that could be used to provide entrée to the Menagerie.”

“The raid was a complete success, with no injuries and 37 arrests, including the Menagerie’s personnel and their customers. I am honored to report that 21 victims were freed from the Menagerie’s control. The victims are now under the care of local medical teams or have been reunited with their families. I would like to emphasize that none of the Menagerie’s victims were there of their own free will. Each and every one of them was coerced in some way.”

Whittaker paused long enough that David took his eyes from the road to glance at his phone. She appeared to be steeling herself and when she continued, David could tell why.

“While conducting the initial interviews with the victims that were rescued, we discovered that five of them were taken by the Menagerie during the tsunami that devastated the city of Los Angeles nine months ago.”

For the first time, a murmur of noise could be heard from the members of the press that had gathered.

“The mayor of Los Angeles has been apprised of this situation and will be conducting a separate press conference this afternoon. The FBI will be working closely with city officials to determine if the Menagerie was the only human trafficking operation that kidnapped tsunami victims.”

“The people recovered from the Menagerie are doing as well as can be expected and we ask that all members of the public, particularly the press, to respect their privacy during this difficult time.”

There was another brief pause and, after taking a deep breath, Whittaker asked, “Are there any questions?”

There were questions, of course, lots and lots of questions. David listened with half an ear as he navigated Los Angeles’ traffic. He had to admit that Whittaker did a decent job. At least she managed to dance around the lurid details that the press wanted

When the press conference was over, Rossi placed a call to Bobby Nash. “I’m sorry for the late notice, but can I stop by for a few minutes?”

“Of course,” Nash replied. “We were just watching the press conference.”

That didn’t surprise David a bit. “I should be there in about 15.

“We’ll be here.”

When David pulled up to the house, he wasn’t surprised to see that it was well-maintained. That definitely matched what he’d seen of Nash’s personality. He parked out front and approached, ringing the doorbell when he reached the entrance. David didn’t have to wait long before Captain Nash opened it.

“You made good time,” Nash told him. “Please come on in.”

Bobby Nash looked more relaxed than when David had seen him in New Orleans. Being home agreed with him, or maybe it was having Evan Buckley in a home environment and under his personal care rather than a hospital.

Nash led David into a comfortably appointed living room. Evan Buckley was occupying one of the chairs. He was more alert than when disembarking from the jet, but it was a nervous sort of alert. Poor kid looked like a rabbit that was about to bolt. Seated near him was the lovely African American woman that David remembered meeting after the flight from New Orleans.

“Evan, it’s good to see you again,” David held out a hand to Evan and was pleasantly surprised when Evan shook it. “And Sergeant Grant.” The woman shook his hand as well and motioned for David to sit.

“I take it you’re here to talk about the press conference?” Nash asked.

“Which one?” David asked with a rueful smile. He didn’t wait for an answer, however. “Since you saw the press conference that took place in New Orleans this morning, you know that they revealed that some of the rescued trafficked survivors were people thought to have drowned.”

Out of the corner of his eye, David noticed that Evan tensed. He didn’t blame the kid.

“We met with Mayor Keely this morning,” David went on to explain. “It was the FBI’s strongest recommendation to him that he refrain from revealing any specific information on the survivors, especially not any names.”

Sergeant Grant pursed her lips. “That didn’t go over very well, did it?”

“Not exactly,” David said. He turned towards Evan, who was looking at him with wide eyes. “The mayor’s concern with withholding your names is that everyone who has a loved one assumed dead because of the tsunami will be given false hope that their loved one is one of those rescued.”

“You sound like you agree with him,” Grant stated.

“I don’t,” David reiterated. “I’m just saying why he feels that might be the way to go.” He turned towards Evan. “I’m sorry, you’ve been through enough without your privacy being violated this way.”

“So there’s nothing you can do?” Nash asked.

“Unfortunately, no,” David admitted. “The FBI can’t overrule a city mayor on something like this, we can only advise. We are going to see if we can arrange some protection for Evan and Margo, the other tsunami victim who was on the plane.”

Sergeant Grant nodded. “I’ll talk to my boss too. The police and fire departments have a good relationship; we protect our own, with volunteers if we have to.” She turned to Evan. “Nobody, and I mean nobody, is getting anywhere near you without your permission. You’re safe, Buck.”

While David had been talking, he’d noticed that Evan was becoming more and more uncomfortable. He’d hoped the prospect of police protection would help, but he’d seen Evan become more agitated when he brought it up. Grant’s words, however, had a calming impact.

“It’s good that Evan is staying here, he might be harder for the media to find,” David contemplated. “You may you remember the images of Brenda Chapman having to wade through a sea of reporters just to get to her parents’ house. That won’t happen here.”

“I’m not so sure of that,” Nash countered. “A reporter did a story on the 118 about a couple of years go; she knows that we’re close. Once she figures out there’s no residency in Buck’s name, she’ll go either to the station house or here.”

“And she’ll get a cold reception,” Grant vowed. David nodded. He could tell already that he did not want to make this woman mad.

“Speaking of Brenda Chapman,” David segued to another topic. “I hear that you had an interesting appointment with the therapist who helped her.” He looked at Evan while he spoke and saw the young man grimace.

“Loretta Johnson told you I called,” Nash’s voice was flat. “It’s good to know that the FBI gossip is as fast-moving as the LA

“It’s not gossip when we get feedback on a recommendation we made,” David protested. “Can you tell me more?”

Nash thought about it for a moment before answering. “It’s not just that she dropped Brenda Chapman’s name multiple times during the interview, but that I got the impression that helping Buck wasn’t her priority as much as potentially getting recognition for it. She suggested that he get an agent.”

“An agent?” David felt his eyebrows raise in surprise. “That is . . . . unusual.”

David caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head and saw that Evan was gesturing. When he saw he had David’s attention, Evan motioned between himself and Nash with one hand and pinched his nose closed with the other, as though he’d smelled something rotten.

Nash, oddly enough, smiled. “I think what Buck’s referring to is that Murphy didn’t like me much. She implied that I was smothering Buck and my continued participation would be bad for him.”

From the glare on Evan’s face, the therapist’s disregard for Robert Nash had been the kiss of death for any chance of Murphy keeping him as a patient. David was disgusted with Dr. Murphy’s behavior, but privately thought that if her attitude brought Evan out of his shell a little, then the session hadn’t been a total waste. Still, the FBI couldn’t go around giving out recommendations for a glory hound.

“I’m sorry that she behaved that way; from what I know of therapists, the best that could be said for Dr. Murphy was that she was unprofessional,” David said. “I’m not without influence in the FBI. I’ll be sure that the right people get word of her conduct.”

“You’re going to blacklist her,” Grant stated. She looked pleased at the idea.

“Now, Sergeant Grant, would I do something like that?” David used his best innocent look, the one he’d learned from Spencer Reid. “I’m just going to make sure my colleagues in the FBI hear of this incident.”

In other words, damn right he was going to get Murphy blacklisted. David would see to it that the good doctor wouldn’t receive any more recommendations from the FBI. 

“You aren’t bad, even if you’re FBI,” Grant said with a distinct twinkle in her eye. “You may call me Athena.”

David took that as a compliment. “Thank you. And you can call me David.” He looked at his watch. “I should be heading back. I’m meeting with my unit chief and the local CRU unit chief prior to the press conference.”

As he stood, so did the other three. 

“Evan, it was good seeing you looking better,” David told the young man. “Do you still have the card I gave you?” Evan nodded, getting shy again. “Good. Please don’t hesitate to call, or text, if there’s anything you need.”

David turned to Captain Nash. “Did Loretta only give you Murphy as a suggestion for a therapist? Do you need me to see if the local CRU agents have any recommendations?”

“That won’t be necessary,” Nash replied. “The LAPD has a Human Trafficking Unit and we’ve received some suggestions from them.”

“A friend of mine from the academy works in the unit,” Athena interjected. “She’s going to help us out.”

“That’s smart,” David stated. “It’s always better to get suggestions from those who have boots on the ground.”

Another round of goodbyes and David was headed back to his car, feeling better than he had when he entered the home. Yes, it would be unfortunate if the mayor released Evan’s name, along with the others. Dave was confident, however, that Evan had a good enough support system to weather the media storm.

911---911---911---911---911---911---911---911---911---911---

Eddie pulled his truck up to Athena and Bobby’s house, turned it off, and sat looking at the front door, too paralyzed to get out of his vehicle. Ever since he’d heard that Buck was alive, Eddie had been aching to see him. Now that Eddie’s turn for a reunion had arrived, though, he was reluctant to get it started. Eddie knew that he wasn’t the most sensitive of men. What if he did something, said something, that hurt Buck? Or even set back his recovery? 

His phone vibrated with an incoming call. When he saw who it was, Eddie answered. He didn’t have a chance to speak before the caller did.

“Are you going to come in or are you going to sit out there all morning?”

“Hi, Athena.” Eddie sounded as sheepish as he felt. “I just don’t want to mess up, you know?”

“I know,” Athena’s voice softened. “But I don’t think you will. Buck’s your best friend, you’ll know how to handle yourself.”

“I suppose.”

“And if I think you’re about to hurt Buckaroo, I’ll just shoot you,” Athena said and, for the life of him, Eddie couldn’t tell if she was kidding or not. “Now get your butt in here; you’re not doing Buck any good out there.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Oddly enough, the thought that Athena would shoot him made Eddie feel better. He got out of the truck with a heart that was a little bit lighter. He remembered to grab the gift bag and container of cookies. Even more than Athena’s wrath, Eddie shuddered to think of how Christopher would react if his dad forgot the stuff for Buck.

The door opened and Bobby beckoned to Eddie. “Come on in, Buck’s out back.”

Eddie entered the house. “How’s he holding up?”

“Not happy about the press conference,” Bobby told him. “The one this morning wasn’t too bad, but we’re all dreading the one this afternoon.”

“Have you heard if anyone was able to talk the mayor out of releasing names?” Eddie asked. Bobby had used the text group to inform everyone of the FBI’s agent’s visit.

“No word,” Bobby said, disappointment clear in his tone. “But Agent Rossi didn’t sound hopeful.”

“That sucks,” Eddie said.

“Yes, it does, but whatever happens, we’ll deal with it,” Athena walked into the room. “Buck’s getting some sunshine in the back yard.”

Eddie knew an order when he heard. “Great, thanks, Athena. You too, Bobby.”

Bobby sensed Eddie’s unease. “You’ll do fine, Eddie. He’s still Buck.”

Like all of the 118, Eddie was familiar with Athena and Bobby’s house. He made his way to the door to the back yard without any trouble. Once there, though, he stopped. Buck was sitting on a patio chair, face upturned to the light. Eddie could tell from one glance that Buck hadn’t been outside much in the last nine months. While always fair skinned, Buck’s face was particularly pale, the contrast with his birthmark making it even more noticeable. It was a little cool out, so Buck had a blanket wrapped around him. His eyes were closed.

Eddie opened the sliding door and stepped outside, careful to close it behind him. Buck’s eyes snapped open at the sound and the two men just looked at each other.

“Hey, Buck,” Eddie broke the silence, moving forward carefully to place the gift bag and cookies on the patio table. “It’s good to see you, man.”

Buck unfolded himself from the patio chair and let the blanket fall as he stood up. Eddie stayed still as Buck slowly approached. It felt almost surreal as Buck moved towards him. Eddie opened his arms and Buck stepped right into them. Eddie wasn’t sure which of them was trembling more.

During their friendship, Buck and Eddie had shared many hugs, but they were always “bro” hugs, just a quick embrace, complete with slapping each other on the back, and then they were over. In this hug, however, Eddie felt Buck melt against him and Eddie’s heart swelled. Just like he did with Christopher, Eddie pulled Buck close and murmured words of comfort into his ear. He didn’t let go until he felt Buck start to tense.

Buck stepped back. He looked at Eddie’s face and then ducked his head. 

“Sorry.”

The word was so softly spoken that Eddie wasn’t sure that Buck had said anything at all. 

“Sorry?” Eddie repeated. When Buck nodded his head yes. “Buck, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for.”

Buck lifted his head and reached out. Eddie held still as Buck’s fingers brushed across his cheek. When Buck showed Eddie his fingers, Eddie saw that they were wet.

“Because I’m crying?” Eddie didn’t bother to wipe his cheeks. It’d taken a lot of hours of therapy, but he finally learned that there was nothing wrong with a man crying. “Buck, those are happy tears. I’m just so damn glad that you’re alive.”

Buck bit his lip. He didn’t speak again, but he did mouth something and Eddie had no trouble at all determining what that word was.

“Christopher?” He waited until Buck nodded. “Christopher is fine and I have you to thank for that.” Eddie’s voice broke. “You saved him, Buck. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t.”

His statement caused Buck to shake his head frantically and poke his finger into his own chest over and over.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Eddie stated, taking Buck’s hand in his own before Buck bruised himself. “I’m the one that foisted my kid off on you that day. It wasn’t your fault you were at the pier when the tsunami hit; you were doing something really sweet for Christopher. And then you saved him from drowning and then those bastards took you. . . . I should be apologizing to you. Those bastards never would have gotten you if not for me. . . .”

Buck touched Eddie gently on the chest and shook his head no.

“Thanks for that, Buck, but I’m pretty sure what happened to you is totally my fault,” Eddie sighed. “I just hope that someday you can forgive me.”

To Eddie’s shock, Buck stepped forward and pulled Eddie into another hug. “Not your fault.”

With Buck speaking directly into Eddie’s ear, there was no question about whether he’d heard him correctly or not. Eddie held on to Buck tightly for a minute before stepping back. Had he let the embrace last any longer, Eddie wasn’t sure he would ever be able to let go.

“Let’s just agree that it’s the trafficking bastard’s fault,” Eddie suggested.

After a moment, Buck nodded his agreement and gave Eddie a shy smile.

Eddie could have lived in that moment forever. The only thing missing was Christopher.

Christopher.

“Chris sent a couple of things for you,” Eddie towards the table. “He was bummed that he couldn’t come see you himself.”

When Eddie turned back, Buck was looking at him in shock and shaking his head again.

“I had to tell him,” Eddie explained. “It’s going to be all over the news soon and I figured that Christopher needed to hear it from me.”

Buck was still shaking his head and mouthing the word “no” over and over again.

“It’s okay, I told him that some bad men took you out of the water and made you work for them,” Eddie said. “I didn’t say what kind of work.”

With his arms wrapped around himself, Buck turned away from Eddie. Eddie couldn’t see Buck’s face, but the other man’s posture told him all he needed to know.

“You know what the first thing Chris wanted to know after I told him?” Eddie asked. “He wanted to know when he could come see you.”

Buck shook his head again, but didn’t turn around.

“I know it’s too soon,” Eddie told him. “Although explaining that to Chris was a little hard. He insisted on getting you this.”

Since Buck was still had his back to Eddie, Eddie didn’t try to offer him the gift bag. Instead, he took out the bear that he had Chris had made at the Build-A-Bear store. He squeezed it just right and Christopher’s soft voice sounded.

“I love you, Buck! You’re my hero, thank you for saving me!”

Buck whipped around so fast that he almost fell over. His blue eyes were wide with shock and his gaze wandered all over the back yard, clearly looking for something. Or someone.

“Hey, Buck, it’s all right,” Eddie reassured him. When Buck was looking at him, Eddie squeezed the bear again.

“I love you, Buck! You’re my hero, thank you for saving me!”

Buck slowly walked over. When he reached Eddie, he pointed at the bear and then at himself. 

“Yeah, he insisted on making it and used his own money too,” Eddie told Buck as he handed the bear over. “At first Christopher was bummed that they didn’t have a Superman bear, but then we saw the firefighter outfit and he said that was even better.”

The look on Buck’s face was something akin to awe. He looked at Eddie and touched the red scarf that was wrapped around the bear’s neck.

“Yeah, that,” Eddie rubbed the back of his head. “When the girl that was helping us heard about who the bear was for, she insisted on donating the scarf she was wearing so that the bear could have a cape. I don’t know where that kid gets his charm, but it’s not from me.”

Buck looked up again and raised his eyebrows. He raised his fingers to his mouth and wiggled them.

Eddie grinned. “All you have to do is hug it. Chris was upset when he realized you weren’t seeing your friends yet. He said hugs make everything better and he wanted you to have something to hug.”

Looking at Eddie as though asking permission, Buck slowly wrapped his arms around the bear and squeezed.

“I love you, Buck! You’re my hero, thank you for saving me!”

This time instead of looking startled, Buck grinned, as brightly as if the tsunami and everything that had come after had never happened.

“I love you, Buck! You’re my hero, thank you for saving me!”

Eddie grabbed his phone. “May I?”

Buck nodded his head and waited for Eddie to get his phone ready before he squeezed the bear again.

“I love you, Buck! You’re my hero, thank you for saving me!”

Eddie laughed. “Okay, you like it, I get it. That’s not the only present from Christopher that I brought either.” He picked up the container of cookies and opened it before offering to Buck. “We made cookies for you last night.”

Shifting the bear to one arm, Buck took a cookie with the other. He bit into and closed his eyes in pleasure. Eddie had to remind himself, and the Little Eddie in his pants, that the man in front of him was emotionally traumatized. Eddie absolutely could not betray Buck’s trust and steal a kiss.

Besides, there was always the threat of Athena and her gun.

“Hey, you want to get out of here for a while?” Eddie asked. “Maybe take a walk around the block or something?”

Buck tilted his head and thought. Ultimately, he nodded yes and Eddie breathed a sigh of relief. “Come on, let’s go.”

With Buck still holding the bear, Eddie took the cookies and led him back instead. Bobby and Athena were in the living room, trying to act like they were reading. They weren’t very convincing.

“What’s that?” Bobby asked, nodding at the bear in Buck’s arms.

Buck was happy to show them.

“I love you, Buck! You’re my hero, thank you for saving me!”

“That Christopher’s a smart boy,” Athena nodded in approval. “And kind too.”

“Yeah, it was all his idea.” Eddie said. “And we made cookies too.”

“Cookies?” Bobby perked up.

Buck put the bear down on a chair and took the container from Eddie. He opened it and handed one to Bobby and Athena. He also gave Eddie one.

“Don’t you want one, Buck?” Bobby asked.

Eddie didn’t like the pressured expression on Buck’s face. He knew that Buck was too thin, but knew that too much haranguing, no matter how well intentioned, would have the opposite effect of getting him to eat. “He just ate one.”

“Well, thank you for sharing,” Athena said. “Christopher’s cookies are always special.”

“Buck and I are going to take a short walk,” Eddie told them. Bobby and Athena seemed surprised, maybe even a little worried. “Just around the block. Maybe two. Ought to be safe enough, the LA press conference isn’t until this afternoon.”

“Don’t be too long, lunch’ll be ready in about half an hour,” Bobby told them. “And, Buck, why don’t you leave your sweatshirt here. I’m about to put a load of laundry on. You’ve been wearing that hoodie for days; it could use a little refreshing.”

Buck wrapped his arms around himself and shook his head no.

“You can borrow mine while yours is in the wash,” Eddie offered. “It’s in my truck.”

“What do you say, Buck?”

Buck fingered the hem of his hoodie for a moment, clearly torn on what to do. After a few moments, he sighed and put the cookies down. He shrugged out of the hoodie and handed it to Bobby.

“Thanks, Buck. Shouldn’t take too long to get it clean.” Bobby said with a serious face. He clearly knew how much the hoodie meant to Buck.

“Come on, we’ll grab mine on the way to our walk.”

Eddie walked out of the house and, after some hesitation, Buck followed him. When Eddie turned back, he could see Bobby and Athena watching them through the window. Eddie gave them a salute, silently promising them that Buck was safe with him.

Buck stopped when he got a look at Eddie’s truck. He gestured from it to Eddie with question marks in his eyes.

“Yeah, that’s mine,” Eddie admitted. He reached inside and found the hoodie. “It’s a sweet ride, but it cost me too much – both literally and figuratively.”

Eddie handed Buck the hoodie and watched with a great deal of satisfaction as Buck put it on. He liked Buck wearing his shirt – complete with his name on it – just a little too much. “Fits you fine. Come on, let’s get going and I’ll tell you all about the truck.”

When they first started walking, Buck stayed very close to Eddie and kept his head down. Eddie told Buck all about the street fighting and how he’d avoided permanent repercussions by the skin of his teeth. As they walked, Buck relaxed. He not only lifted his head to watch Eddie while Eddie told his story, but became comfortable enough to let a little bit more space between them. Eventually the story was over and the two men walked in silence for a while.

“Christopher calls me ‘Dad’ now, not ‘Daddy,’” Eddie said.

Buck made a small noise and Eddie looked over at him. Buck put his hand up to about Christopher’s height, or what it had been when the tsunami happened. Eddie lifted Buck’s hand a couple of inches higher.

“He had a growth spurt,” Eddie said. “He’s growing up way too fast.” 

Eddie hesitated, but then decided it was best to tell Buck. “Christopher had nightmares for months about the tsunami and losing you.”

Buck looked at him with sad eyes.

“Not your fault, Buck,” Eddie said firmly. He sighed before continuing. “I have to be honest with you, though. He’s pretty confused about why he can’t come see you. Christopher wanted to know if you were mad at him.”

Eddie moved a couple of steps before he realized that Buck had come to a complete halt. He had a stricken look on his face.

“That’s not your fault either, Buck,” Eddie backtracked and put a hand on Buck’s shoulder. “He’s a kid and even a great kid like Christopher sometimes thinks everything is about them. He’s not old enough to know why you need time to heal. He’s got a great heart, though. He may not understand why, but he’ll do anything you need to help you.”

Buck just shook his head and slowly moved forward. The pleasure he’d been talking in the walk was dimmed, though.

“Come on, let’s head back.” Eddie suggested. “I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry.”

Athena and Bobby’s house was just around the corner. Bobby opened the door as they reached it; clearly he’d been on the lookout for them. Bobby had a welcoming expression on his face until he got a good look at Buck.

“Everything go okay?” Bobby asked, glancing from one man to the other.

“Yeah,” Eddie said as he stepped into the house. Buck was close behind him. “I was just explaining that Chris is disappointed that he can’t see Buck yet.”

“I’m sure that’ll come when Buck is ready for it,” Bobby said. Eddie wasn’t sure if Bobby said it for Buck’s benefit or as a warning to Eddie.

Eddie nodded. “That’s what I told him.” It was important to him that Bobby know that Eddie wasn’t about to pressure Buck into anything, not even for the sake of his son.

“Soup’s on,” Athena called from the kitchen.

The three men headed for the kitchen. There was a plate of sandwiches in the center of the table, along with potato salad and a pitcher of iced tea. At one place setting, there was also a plastic bottle that Eddie recognized containing a protein drink.

At first the conversation was stilted, but Eddie launched into a story telling about the 118’s experiences during the last full moon. Athena chimed in with a few stories of her own and soon the tension had dissipated. All of them, however, kept a close eye on the clock. When it was 15 minutes before the press conference, things got tense again.

“I’ll just get this into the fridge,” Athena reached for the potato salad.

They all tried not to look at Buck’s plate. He’d taken a couple of bites out of his sandwich and that was about it. At least the protein drink bottle was empty.

With all of them working, it didn’t take long for the remnants of lunch to be cleared away. Bobby went to the laundry room to tend to the clothes, but he made quick work of it. With minutes to spare, they were seated in the family room, waiting for the press conference to begin. None of them felt like talking.

Finally, it was time. 

Bobby turned the TV on and settled back in the couch, smiling tightly when Athena took his hand. Buck was curled up in a big leather chair, at least as much as a 6’2” body could curl. Eddie took the other chair, regretting that it was across from Buck’s instead of right next to it. 

On the television, the mayor was introduced and began speaking.

“As the FBI revealed in New Orleans this morning, it has been discovered that five people that were assumed to have died in the tsunami actually survived. Instead of drowning, they were taken by human traffickers.”

“I want to assure the people of Los Angeles that we are taking this situation very seriously. In fact, the LAPD’s own Human Trafficking Unit will be working hand in hand with the FBI to ensure that this is an isolated incident. We will not stop looking until we are beyond 100% confident that there was no one else abducted during that tragic natural disaster.”

The mayor took a drink from a handy glass of water.

“I have been advised not to release the names of the trafficking survivors that were taken during the tsunami, that it would be devastating to them and their families.” 

Mayor Keely gazed directly into the camera. Eddie looked over at Buck and saw that Buck was hunched down in his chair, eyes riveted to the screen. 

“I’m not going to take that advice,” Keely continued. “Not because I want to do harm to those five people, but because I think it is important for the rest of those who still have loved ones missing in the tsunami to know.” He glanced at the members of the press with a polished smile. “And because I have faith in the media to show their humanity and to give these people the space that they need.”

There were three snorts of disbelief in the room; Athena, Bobby and Eddie. Buck remained silent and stared at the television in horror. Bobby got up from the couch and walked to Buck’s chair, standing behind it and putting his hand on Buck’s shoulders in a gesture of support. Eddie cursed himself for not thinking of doing that.

The mayor looked into the camera again. “Before I release these names, I need to emphasize how important it is to leave the victims alone. They need time to heal and I trust in all of you to give it to them.” He put on his glasses. “Without further ado, these are the people who were rescued in New Orleans last week that had previously been assumed drowned.”

“Evan Buckley.” Not only had the mayor said Buck’s name on television, but a picture came onscreen too. It was the photo for Buck’s LAFD identification badge.

Eddie could hear a small whimper and when he looked over, Bobby’s grip on Buck’s shoulders had tightened.

“Cara Battson, Margo Kingsley, Allison Peterson and Shyla Sommers.”

As each name was read, a photo came with it. Eddie didn’t know the others and he didn’t really care. His concern was for Buck and how he huddled down in his seat, completely expressionless.

The mayor talked for a little longer, promising that the city would help the survivors in any way they good. Eddie let the words wash over him. Finally, it was over and Athena turned off the TV, an expression of distaste on her face.

“I cannot believe that I voted for that man,” Athena growled. 

Before anyone could say anything else, Buck got off the chair, shrugging off Bobby’s hands. He grabbed the bear and headed downstairs. As Buck moved out of sight, they could all hear the gradually fading sound of Christopher’s voice.

“I love you, Buck! You’re my hero, thank you for saving me!”

“I love you, Buck! You’re my hero, thank you for saving me!”

“I love you, Buck! You’re my hero . . . .”


	18. Chapter 18

They’d all had a feeling that the press conference was not going to be good for Buck. Feeling that way and watching it happen, though, were two different things. Athena could see how badly Bobby wanted to follow Buck and make sure he was okay. She knew why Bobby would want to do that, but of course Buck wasn’t okay. Nor should he be. The mayor of LA had just told the whole city, if not the whole country, that Buck was a victim of extreme sexual abuse. As if revealing Buck’s name wasn’t humiliation enough, the mayor had also shared Buck’s picture.

“What a FUBAR,” Eddie muttered. He looked at her and Bobby for guidance. “Should one of us go be with him right now?”

Bobby shook his head. “Let’s give him a few minutes.”

The three of then looked at each other, matching expressions of concern and helplessness on their faces. The silence didn’t last long, however. Almost as though it were choreographed, their cell phones started to ring – and then they kept on ringing for over an hour.

Athena’s first call was from Maddie and it took some time to calm the other woman down. Maddie was concerned about her brother, but also spitting mad at the mayor. Athena got a similar call from Hen and then one from Michael, wondering what to tell the kids. After she’d dealt with those calls, the therapist that her friend from the LAPD Human Trafficking Unit had recommended called to set up an appointment. The woman was already aware of what the mayor had done and was more than willing to work Buck in for an appointment the next day. Similarly, Athena contacted her boss at the LAPD, who agreed to provide a squad car to watch the house, at least for a few days.

Bobby got a call from the 118; those on duty wanting to know how to handle it if any reporters called looking for verification about what happened to Buck. After finishing that call, Bobby had to talk to the Chief of the LAFD, who wasn’t happy with the mayor, but was not surprised by what he’d done either. The Chief’s job put him in close contact with Mayor Keely and so he knew the man would make the political choice rather than the right one. The last call Bobby got was from the head of the union, assuring Bobby that they’d do their best to get Buck his benefits and maybe some back pay.

Eddie also fielded calls, first from Carla, and then from his aunt and grandmother, who hadn’t heard the news that Buck was alive until the press conference. Eddie not only had to give them the information he knew, but from what Athena overheard, he also endured duplicate lectures about not keeping them in the loop.

Eventually the flurry of calls had died down, although all three of them continued to get texts. It was tempting to just shut the damn phones off.

“Hen would like to come by to see Buck tomorrow afternoon,” Athena told the others. “Buck has therapy in the morning and Maddie wants him to come by for lunch.”

“That’s a lot of activity,” Bobby pointed out.

“Better to keep his mind off of the press conference,” Athena replied. “The last thing Buck needs is to work himself up to the point where he doesn’t want to leave the house.”

“That’s up to Buck,” Bobby insisted. “He’s not a child; we can’t make his decisions for him.”

Athena’s immediate reaction was to argue, but as she thought about it more, Bobby had a point. She backed herself down before starting a debate. “You’re right.”

“I think Buck’s had enough time to process the press conference; I’m going to go talk to him,” Bobby said.

Putting action to words, Bobby headed downstairs, leaving Athena alone with Eddie.

“Poor Buckaroo,” Athena said softly. “That boy just cannot catch a break.”

“He started to relax when we were walking outside,” Eddie sounded desperate. “Now whenever Buck goes out, he’s going to wonder if everyone is looking at him.”

Athena smiled gently. “Buck got a lot of looks even before the tsunami, but I hear you; now he won’t care for it at all.”

Eddie nodded. “Exactly.” He looked down briefly before addressing Athena again. “How are your kids taking the news?

“I haven’t had a chance to be with them much since we found out,” Athena said with a sigh. “Michael’s been handling it, bless him. He said that May is angry, and Harry is confused.”

“Christopher is confused too,” Eddie snorted. “I guess when it comes down to it, I’m am too. I just don’t get how they could do something so awful to someone as good as Buck. And I sure as hell don’t know how to explain it to my son when I don’t get it myself.”

“As a parent, you always want all the answers to give to your kids,” Athena said. “Sometimes, though, the only thing you can say is that you don’t know. And it says good things about you, to not be able to understand someone so evil.”

Athena heard movement behind her. She turned around to see Bobby coming up the stairs, with Buck right behind him.

“Hey, Buckaroo, how you feeling?” Athena asked him.

Buck just shrugged and made no attempt to look any of them in the eye. He did, however, take a seat without being prompted.

“If it makes you feel any better, I think today the mayor lost the firefighter vote for the next election,” Eddie stated.

A fleeting smile broke over Buck’s face, but he still didn’t look up. No one was quite sure what to say, but they were rescued from the awkwardness by an incoming phone call. Athena, Bobby and Eddie each checked their cells.

“It’s mine,” Bobby said. Instead of swiping to answer the call and putting the phone to his ear, though, Bobby put the phone on the coffee table. “Nash speaking.”

“Captain Nash,” Rossi’s voice carried loud and clear. “You’re a hard man to get a hold of. Your phone’s been busy.”

“I’ve got you on speaker phone, Agent Rossi,” Bobby was quick to say. “With me are Athena, Buck and Eddie Diaz, a member of the 118 and a friend of Buck’s.”

“I take it you saw Keely’s press conference?”

“We did,” Athena answered. “And I am not usually an advocate of violence, but I sincerely hope that someone pistol-whipped that man the moment he left the stage.”

Buck’s head shot up at her words and he stared at Athena, blue eyes wide with surprise.

Athena smiled gently at him. “What did you think, Buckaroo, that any of us would approve of what that jackass did?”

“I’m sorry to report that there was no pistol-whipping involved,” Rossi said. From his wry tone of voice, he was both amused by and agreed with Athena’s statement. “I do know that my unit chief verbally tore a strip off of him.”

“What happened to only being able to advise?” Bobby said.

“Everyone has their breaking point and for Emily, it was that the mayor released photos,” Rossi replied. “Evan, I’m truly sorry about that. We all are. The media would have gotten hold of them soon enough, but Keely didn’t have to spoon feed them.”

Buck didn’t seem inclined to react to that. When Bobby didn’t convey anything for him, Rossi continued.

“I thought you might want to be warned that the national networks have picked up on the story,” Rossi said. “They, at least, have the sense not to name names or show photos. At least, that’s what the FBI was assured when contacted.”

“I suppose that was inevitable, that the story would go national,” Bobby said. “Not ideal, although I’m glad they’re being more considerate of the survivors.”

“The FBI did, however, provide them with the sketch of the trafficker that got away,” Rossi stated. “I thought that Evan would want to know that before seeing it show up in the coverage.”

Athena glanced at Buck, who’d scooted lower in his chair, shoulders hunched. Clearly he was disturbed by the reminder that not all of his tormentors had been arrested.

“That’s good,” Athena spoke up; she had a hunch. “But that’s not the only reason you called.”

There was a pause before Rossi answered. “You’re right. Captain Nash, do you remember meeting the other rescued trafficked victim on the flight from New Orleans?”

“Yes,” Bobby frowned. “Margo.” Buck looked startled and Bobby explained. “She came and talked to me briefly while you slept.”

“Yes, Margo Kingsley,” Rossi added. “Turns out that her father is a retired district judge and that Margo, her husband and father-in-law are all practicing lawyers.”

Eddie whistled. “I think Mayor Keely messed with the wrong survivors.”

“I think you’re right,” Rossi agreed. “Margo’s husband tried to reach the mayor before the press conference, requesting that survivor names not be released, but he couldn’t get through. They’ve contacted my unit chief and have asked for Evan’s contact information. Now that names and photos have been released, Margo and her family are considering action against the city. They wanted to know if Evan wanted to join them. I believe they’re trying to connect with the survivors that are still in New Orleans too.”

All three of them in the room looked at Buck, who shook his head frantically. Athena didn’t really blame him. With everything so fresh, being in the public eye for a lawsuit was probably a frightening idea.

“Buck’s not enthusiastic about that,” Bobby answered. “Send me the Kingsley’s information and if Buck changes his mind, I’ll let them know.”

“Will do,” Rossi promised. “I’m sorry, but I need to cut this call short. Emily and I are leaving for DC in a few minutes, but we’ll be available by phone or text if you need anything. You can expect follow-ups either from Agent Whittaker, who headed up the operation, or Agent Atkins, who is the local FBI agent for the Civil Rights Unit. Evan, you hang in there.”

“Thank you, Agent Rossi,” Bobby said as he ended the call. He picked up his phone and put it away.

“It’s too bad that other family couldn’t get hold of the mayor before he opened his fool mouth,” Athena said.

“It was going to get out anyway,” Eddie said. “I’m sorry, Buck, but it was. It just could have been handled a whole lot bett-. . . .”

He broke off when the doorbell rang. There was just a moment when they all looked at each other in silence and then it rang again.

Athena whipped out her phone and pulled up the Ring app. When she got a look at who was outside her door, she saw red. “Well, speak of the devil.” She looked at the others. “The first reporter has arrived and it’s Taylor Kelly.”

A low whimper was heard and they all three looked at Buck. When Athena saw the devastated look on his face, her stomach twisted.

“Eddie, take Buck downstairs, please,” Athena asked, although she hadn’t really meant it as a request. Her anger was appeased somewhat when Eddie took it as the order it was and immediately got to his feet.

“Come on, Buck, you don’t need to see this,” Eddie offered Buck a hand. Buck had curled up and hunched so far into the chair, that he was having difficulty getting out of it.

Buck took Eddie’s help and let the other firefighter guide him towards the stairs. Seeing they were on their way, Athena started towards the door.

“Let me, sweetheart,” Bobby said. “I’m their connection to Buck. They’ll be asking for me anyway.”

Athena snorted. “And my comment about pistol whipping has nothing to do with it?”

Bobby grinned briefly. “No, but only because I know you have your guns locked up in the gun safe.”

“And this Kelly woman ought to be grateful for that,” Athena grumbled.

The doorbell rang twice again in rapid succession. Bobby reached the door, but before he opened it, he stopped and Athena saw him take a deep breath. She put a hand on the small of his back and he smiled at her over his shoulder.

Bobby yanked the door open and stepped out, forcing Taylor Kelly and the cameraman with her to step back. Athena moved right behind her husband, but left the door partially open in case they needed a quick escape.

“May I help you?” Bobby’s voice was mild compared to the tension in his body.

“Captain Nash, I’m sure you remember me, Taylor Kelly from Eyewitness News 8,” the young woman introduced herself and shoved a microphone in Bobby’s face. “I’m doing a story following up on Mayor Keely’s press conference. I’d like to get a statement from Evan Buckley. We have a source that says he’s staying with you.”

“Evan Buckley is in no condition to give any statements,” Bobby said. “You need to leave now before you do even more damage than the press conference did.”

Taylor Kelly did not take no, however politely worded, for an answer.

“So Evan Buckley is staying here and, obviously, he’s alive,” Kelly continued. “What can you tell us about his condition? Human Trafficking covers a lot of things – were the Lazarus Five kept as a sex slaves?”

“Lazarus Five?” Disbelief colored Bobby’s voice.

Kelly looked pleased with herself. “Lazarus as in coming back from the dead.”

“I understand the reference,” Bobby’s voice was clipped. “You need to leave. Now.”

“Are you sure about that, Captain?” Kelly asked. “We do still have the footage of you stoned out of your mind.”

That was it for Athena.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Athena slid past Bobby so that she was standing nose to nose with the reporter. “That is more than enough.”

“You’re Sergeant Athena Grant, with the LAPD, aren’t you?” Taylor said, looking back at the camera. It was on the cameraman’s shoulder, so Athena had to assume it was filming. “Captain Nash is your husband.”

“That’s right and this is our house,” Athena said firmly. “Which is private property. We’re not asking you to leave, we’re telling you to leave. Get off our property and take your camera and your microphone with you.”

“Come on, Sergeant Grant, we’re both professional women,” Kelly gave Athena a practiced smile, as though that would make any difference. “You know how difficult it can be to make inroads into what is normally a male profession. It’s a real coup for me to beat all of the guys here.Help me out instead of . . . .”

“Don’t you give me that ‘we’re all women in this together’ crap,” Athena advanced towards Kelly and the younger woman gave way. “I’ve been breaking down gender barriers since you were learning your ABCs. Being a professional does not mean hounding a young man who’s recently been through a trauma and professional certainly does not mean blackmailing a public servant just to get your way.”

“I was not blackmailing,” Kelly protested.

“And now we’ll add liar to the list,” Athena took another step and the reporter retreated again. “Technology is wonderful, isn’t it? I have one of those trendy Ring apps; my daughter insisted on it. Even if your own footage of you threatening my husband conveniently gets lost, we have a copy.”

Kelly lifted her chin. “Whether my statement could be construed as blackmail is a matter of opinion.”

“Really? If necessary, we’ll find out,” Athena responded. “While I’m at it, did you happen to mention to your boss that you had a brief fling with the subject of the interview you wanted to conduct? How professional is that?”

In her peripheral vision, Athena saw a black and white unit show up and she gave Kelly a predatory smile. “You’ve been told to get off our property at least three times. You have one more chance to get your unethical, insensitive blackmailing ass off our yard before I have you arrested for trespassing.”

Kelly opened her mouth a couple of times, but hadn’t come up with a response before an officer got out of the squad car.

“Is everything all right, Sergeant Grant?” The officer called out.

Athena raised one eyebrow and looked at Kelly. “I don’t know, is it?”

Taylor Kelly moved a couple of steps towards the street and then turned and glared at Athena. “I was the first reporter to get here, but I can guarantee you that I won’t be the last.”

“And they’ll get the same reception,” Athena assured her. When Taylor didn’t move, Athena made a shooing motion. “Now finish getting your fine self off of my lawn or I will ask Officer Jasper over there to do it for you.”

Kelly turned and stomped towards the street. “Come on, Carl.”

The cameraman hurried to follow, but stopped when he reached Athena. After taking a quick glance at Kelly and seeing that she was focused on her phone, he flashed Athena a big grin.

“That was awesome!”

Before Athena could respond, the man continued on his way. Athena watched Kelly, but once she reached the news van, she made no attempt to get in. Athena might have chased her off their property, but obviously the reporter wasn’t going anywhere.

“Sarge?” The officer asked as he reached Athena.

“Thanks, Jasper.” Athena nodded at him. “Appreciate it.”

“Looks like you had it handled,” the officer grinned at her. “I’ll make sure that none of them come up to the house and that your driveway’s kept clear too.”

Jasper thought that Kelly was right, there would be more reports. Athena sighed. She thought so too. She felt eyes on her and when Athena turned to walk back to the house, she saw that Bobby was watching her. Her husband had that half smile of his on his face and his expression was full of pride. 

“Good job, Mama Bear,” Bobby complimented her.

Athena let Bobby pull her into a one-armed hug as he guided them both through the door and back into the house. Athena would have liked to kiss him, but didn’t want to give Taylor Kelly a show.

“That woman threatened my boo and my boy,” Athena told him. She lifted her face and Bobby obliged her with a kiss. And then another - Athena’s strength was always a turn on for him. Only the sound of a throat clearing stopped a third kiss from taking place.

“What happened?” Eddie asked. He was standing at the top of the stairs. Peaking around him was Buck, teddy bear tucked under his arm.

“It was Taylor Kelly and she was trying to get an interview,” Bobby told them. “She wasn’t exactly taking no for an answer, so Athena sent her packing.”

“I would have paid money to see that,” Eddie said.

“Thanks to technology, you can,” Bobby told him. “Athena, can’t that Ring app show them?”

Athena remembered the sex slave comment that Kelly had made. “You sure that’s a good idea?”

From the look in his eyes, Bobby realized that too. “Maybe not the whole thing.”

Athena sat at the dining table, with Buck next to her. Bobby and Eddie stood behind and they all focused on Athena’s phone. She was careful when she started the recording, so that Buck wouldn’t hear Kelly refer to him and the others that were rescued as ‘sex slaves.’

When the recording was over, Eddie let out a long, low whistle. “Athena you are badass.” He looked at Athena and then Bobby to make sure he hadn't given offense. “And I mean that in the best possible way.”

“Thank you, Eddie.” Athena nudged Buck with her shoulder. He hadn’t looked at her since the recording had started. “You okay, Buckaroo?”

When Buck looked at her, there were tears in his eyes, but also a smile playing around his lips. He made the sign for ‘thank you.’

“You’re welcome,” Athena replied. “No one messes with my family, Buck, and you are family.”

To her shock, Buck hugged Athena and when the embrace was done, left his head on her shoulder. She reached up and patted him.

“We got your back, Buckaroo,” Athena told him. “Each and every one of us.”

Someday, someday soon, she hoped that Buck would actually believe it.


	19. Chapter 19

Buck walked up the stairs slowly. He hadn’t slept well, Taylor Kelly showing up at Bobby and Athena’s had thrown him for a loop. He’d started feeling safe at their house and then someone who wanted to use him had shown up. Buck didn’t think that Taylor wanted sex from him, but she’d wanted to use him all the same, probably for a story that would help her career. Even though he’d hadn’t interacted with her, Buck had seen the dollar signs in Taylor’s eyes. He’d had a lot of experience with that in the last nine months.

The bear that Christopher had sent was awesome and Buck had listened to it a lot. He’d finally made himself stop squeezing it around midnight because he didn’t want to wear it out. Buck wished he could take it with him for his therapy appointment but didn’t want to look like a baby. He made a video of it instead, but it wasn’t the same.

He’d been tempted to just stay in bed and ignore the world, but Buck couldn’t do that to Bobby and Athena. Instead, he’d gotten up and taken a long shower, trying to delay for as long as he could. At least he had his own LAFD hoodie back. Buck had to admit, though, that wearing Eddie’s hadn’t been bad. Eventually he couldn’t delay any longer, so he’d headed upstairs.

“Good morning, Buck,” Bobby greeted him. “Want some breakfast?”

The answer to that was no, but Buck knew Bobby would worry if he didn’t eat. He settled for shrugging, hoping that it conveyed that he was willing to try, but wasn’t hungry.

“All right, breakfast it is,” Bobby’s voice was cheerful, but it seemed forced.

Maybe the fact that it was dark in the house had something to do with that. Looking around, Buck realized that the curtains were pulled closed. He turned towards Bobby with his eyebrows raised.

“Taylor Kelly was right; she was just the first reporter to show up.” Bobby said. “Don’t worry, none of them will be coming up to the house.”

Them? As in more than one reporter?

Buck walked into the living room to the large picture window.

“I’m not sure you want to do that, kid,” Bobby warned.

Buck wasn’t sure he wanted to either, but he had to know. He went to one side of the window and peeked around the curtain – and immediately stepped back. Where there had been one news truck the night before, now there were at least a dozen, not to mention satellite antennas sticking up and people milling around.

It was a circus and Buck was at the center. And not just him; Bobby and Athena had been pulled into the mess just because they were nice to him. Tears filled Buck’s eyes and he dropped his head.

“Hey now,” Bobby’s voice was a lot closer. When Buck looked up, Bobby put a hand on his shoulder. “This is not your fault, all right? You needed a place to stay and Athena and I are happy to help. We offered, remember? And you certainly did not do anything to encourage bloodthirsty reporters from ignoring basic human compassion and swarming the house.”

Buck shook his head. He hated to disagree with Bobby, but there was no way this would have happened if it weren’t for Buck.

“Come on, come away from the window,” Bobby said. “I thought you might be tired of eggs by now, so I’m making pancakes.”

Pancakes? Buck perked up a little. His obvious enthusiasm made Bobby chuckle a little.

“Maybe I should have led with that,” Bobby teased.

The pancakes were just as good as Buck remembered. He ate two before his stomach protested that it was full. He hadn’t even touched his protein drink. Buck knew he should have that drank it, but didn’t know if his stomach could handle anything more.

“Why don’t you go digest your breakfast?” Bobby suggested. “You have a therapy appointment later this morning. We’ll need to leave in the next half hour or so.”

Buck winced. Therapy wasn’t something he was keen on doing, especially after that Dr. Murphy woman, but Bobby had done so much for him that if Bobby wanted him to go, then Buck would go. Besides, if he were being honest with himself, Buck knew that he probably needed therapy, especially how he’d reacted to seeing the press conferences. Rossi had been right, the “Lazarus Five” had made the network evening news too; they’d watched them before Eddie left. At least the network news hadn’t named names or shown pictures.

Buck sat on the couch and turned on the television. One of the morning shows was on and Buck was disheartened to see that they were also talking about the Lazarus Five. Buck changed the channel and that morning show had a Lazarus Five story on it too. Was there nowhere he could escape it?

Bobby sat on the couch next to him and he had his phone with him. “Remember what we talked about yesterday?”

After the mayor’s press conference, Buck had retreated to his room. Bobby had come down some time later and they’d chatted. Well, Bobby had talked and Buck had listened. The gist of it was that Buck should keep his head up because he’d done nothing wrong and he’d get through the public attention, just like he’d survived everything else. The advice had helped, but not as much as the big hug that Bobby had given him.

“I have something I want to show you,” Bobby held his phone out. “The local news stations had the story about the press conferences on their websites and you might be interested in some of the public reaction.”

Buck shook his head no and slid deeper into the couch.

“I think you’ll be surprised,” Bobby insisted. “Here, let me read a couple to you.” He didn’t wait for an answer.

“’God Bless those poor people,’” Bobby read the first one. “’They’ve been through hell.’”

“Here’s another,” Bobby continued. “’Dick move, Mayor Keely. Irresponsible to name these victims.’”

Buck chanced a look at Bobby. The older man was dividing his attention between his phone and Buck. When Bobby saw that Buck was looking at him, he smiled in encouragement. “I’m especially fond of that second one, ‘dick move’ pretty much sums it up.”

Had he heard right, had Bobby just said ‘dick’? Buck couldn’t help it, he snorted in laughter, but choked it off as soon as he realized the noise came from him. He flinched when he felt a hand rest on his shoulder.

“You can laugh, Buck,” Bobby told him gently. “No one will hurt you for it.”

Buck took a deep breath and nodded. His own phone was still downstairs, but Buck wanted to know more about how people were reacting to the mayor’s press conference. He hesitantly held his hand out for Bobby’s phone.

Bobby set it into his palm, but held on to the phone as he offered a last bit of advice. “Just remember that some people use the anonymity of the internet to spew hate. May said they’re called trolls? There may be a few of those. If so, don’t let it detract from the others, okay?”

When Buck nodded, Bobby let go of the phone and got up. He went back to the kitchen, giving Buck some privacy to read over the responses to the trafficking story. There were less than a dozen responses, but each and every one of them had offered compassion and sympathy. Emboldened, Buck looked at the websites of a couple of other local stations. Again, not a single troll.

“Buckaroo?”

Putting the phone down, Buck looked at Athena.

“We have to leave in a few minutes.”

While reading the responses, Buck had almost forgotten about the upcoming therapy appointment. He sighed and got up, grabbing Bobby’s phone as he did. He looked around, but didn’t see Bobby.

“I’ll give it to him, you go get ready,” Athena told him.

Buck handed Athena the phone and went downstairs. There wasn’t much he needed to do, just putting on his shoes and grabbing his own phone. Before he left the room, though, he squeezed his bear one more time, just to hear Christopher’s voice.

Even less enthusiastically than the first time that morning, Buck walked up the stairs and found Bobby and Athena waiting for him. They both looked tense, although Buck hadn’t taken very long.

“I think you’ll want to pull the hood up,” Bobby suggested.

“I’ve notified the officer on duty that we’re leaving and to make sure the drive is clear, but it still might be a hot mess,” Athena warned.

Buck’s stomach dropped as he remembered the trucks and reporters outside. He’d forgotten that they’d have to navigate through all of that. He was doubly glad he left the teddy bear downstairs. It might have provided some comfort on the ride, but Buck didn’t want to be photographed with it by the press. He pulled his hood up, glad that it was deep enough that his face disappeared into it.

“Let’s go,” Bobby put his arm around Buck’s shoulders as he guided him to the garage. “You want to ride up front? Might be more comfortable for you, with those long legs.”

Buck didn’t bother answering, choosing instead to just crawl into the back. Once there, he sat behind Bobby because that way, he couldn’t see himself in the rearview mirror the way he could if he sat behind the driver. Buck pulled his hood down over his face as far as it would go and hunched down in his seat. He hated being so tall, it made him too easy to spot.

“Lord help anybody that gets in our way,” Athena muttered under her breath. “I have no problem today with turning a reporter into a speed bump.”

Despite her aggressive words, Athena took a lot of care when she backed the SUV out. Buck didn’t turn around, but he could see in the passenger’s side mirror that the end of the driveway was clear. Unfortunately, as soon as the SUV backed into the street, the reporters surrounded the vehicle.

“Evan Buckley, how does it feel to be alive?”

“Mr. Buckley, could you make a statement about your time in captivity?”

“Evan, what’s it like to be a sex slave?

“Do you think the trafficker that escaped will come after you? Is the city safe?”

All the while the reporters were shouting questions, there were flashes of light as pictures were being taken. Evan sat perfectly still and made like a cat; if he couldn’t see them, then he’d pretend that they couldn’t see him. He felt a touch on his hand and jumped. He looked up enough to see that it was Bobby. The older man had reached back from the front seat to offer support.

Athena moved the SUV forward slowly and Evan could hear a voice, probably the officer on duty, ordering the reporters back. It only took a few minutes to get the SUV free and moving down the road, but it was a brutal few minutes.

“If that damn mayor was in front of me, I’d ring his scrawny neck,” Athena muttered.

“Get in line,” Bobby said. He squeezed Buck’s hand before letting go. “I don’t see anyone following us.”

“There’s a navy-colored van hanging back a bit,” Athena told them. “They were smart and used one without any markings. Don’t worry, I’ll lose them.”

Bobby turned to smile at Buck. “Better put your seatbelt on; this ought to be interesting.”

The SUV made a sharp right and Buck bumped into the window. When he righted himself, he did as Bobby suggested and clicked his seatbelt in place. The ride was part exhilarating and part frightening, as Athena used all the skills she’d developed as a police officer to evade the reporters. Buck figured that the reporters never had a chance.

“We have to do something about that,” Athena said after she could drive normally. “Buck shouldn’t have to go through that every time he wants to leave the house.”

Buck heartily agreed with her. He’d be fine not having to run the reporter gauntlet ever again. Not to mention, until they were gone, there would be no more walks with Eddie.

“We’ll figure something out,” Bobby replied. “I’ll text the team and get them thinking about alternatives.”

“You okay back there, Buckaroo?” Athena asked. Buck nodded. “Good. Those reporters are jackals, but we should be okay the rest of the way. Try to relax if you can.”

That was easier said than done. Buck thought about pushing his hood back, but ultimately left it up. He felt a little safer with his face hidden and he knew that Bobby and Athena wouldn’t mind. He thought about getting his phone out and reading more responses to the press conference, or even to see if there were any to the morning news shows, but ended up just looking out the window. After nine months of captivity, it was still a novel thing to be able to watch the scenery go by. If they were stopped at a light and another vehicle pulled up, Buck changed to looking straight ahead or down. Intellectually, he knew that the other drivers wouldn’t bother looking his way, but he didn’t want to take a chance of being recognized.

After another half an hour, Athena pulled into the parking lot of a nondescript building. It was one story and had the look of school, so maybe it had been repurposed. Only when they got out and walked to the entrance did Buck see a sign. It read “Traffick Stopped.”

Athena saw him looking at it. “A lot of human trafficking goes on in Los Angeles. This center houses the LAPD’s Human Trafficking Unit and services for people who’ve been rescued out of trafficking.”

Buck nodded that he understood and followed her and Bobby inside. The first thing they encountered was a glassed-in reception desk. The woman sitting there looked up as they entered. “May I help you?”

“I’m Sergeant Athena Grant; I have an appointment with Sergeant Darla Hughes.”

“And this is Evan Buckley; he has an appointment with Dr. Marshall.”

Buck pushed the hood back. It was getting stuffy and he figured that he was safe here, at least from reporters.

The woman checked her computer and smiled at them. “Sergeant Grant, you’ll need to go to the door on your left. Sergeant Hughes’ office is the third on the right. Mr. Buckley, you’ll need to go through the door on the right, there’s a waiting room directly inside.” She looked at Bobby. “I take it you’ll be accompanying Mr. Buckley?”

“That’s right,” Bobby answered. “If he wants me to, that is.”

Buck nodded his head.

The woman slid a clipboard through the slot. “I’ll need your ID, sir, and for you to sign in.”

After Bobby finished, he turned to Athena. “See you in an hour.”

She nodded her head. “When you get done, text me. I’ll stay with Darl until then.” She smiled sadly at Buck. “She’s going to tell me what the human trafficking activity is like in LA.”

Buck shuddered. Better Athena than him. He knew way too much about human trafficking.

The entryway into the building had been somewhat industrial looking, containing only the woman behind the glass and a few vinyl seats on either side. Once they got into the services part, the atmosphere was a lot homier. There was another receptionist, but this one was at a desk instead of behind glass. The walls were painted a soft, butter yellow and the variety of seating options were all upholstered with fabric.

“Hi, are you checking in?” The woman asked.

Bobby ushered Buck forward. “Yes, this is Evan Buckley and he’s seeing Dr. Marshall.”

“Great, I’ll get you signed in; she should be out here in a minute,” the receptionist responded. “Take a seat; Dr. Joy will be out in a moment.”

Buck looked at Bobby in confusion. He certainly hoped that Joy was the woman’s first name. “Dr. Joy” almost sounded like a crazy character that Carlyle would make up. Although, when he thought about it more, maybe not. Carlyle would come up with something lewder, like Dr. Suksitdown or Nurse Pussywhipped.

Bobby gestured towards a seat near the front and sat down himself. “She’s highly recommended.”

Buck winced. Dr. Murphy had been recommended too and that hadn’t turned out well.

The two men didn’t have a chance at any small talk or even to pick up one of the many magazines lying about. The door to the side of the receptionist desk opened and a woman walked out. “Evan Buckley?”

Despite Bobby’s steady presence at his side, Buck was reluctant to get up. He did it anyway.

The woman led them back through the door and down a short hallway. She was a light skinned African American with a swath of freckles on her face. She was rather short, and her hair consisted of gray curls cut close to her head. When they got to the office, Buck expected her to hand them off to someone else. Instead, she waved them in and shut the door behind them.

“I’m Dr. Joy Marshall, but you can call me Dr. Joy or even just Joy,” the therapist said as she held out her hand. “You must be Evan Buckley. Can I call you Evan?”

Buck shook her hand, noticing as an almost musical clinking noise as he did. The doctor had a lot of bangle bracelets on each wrist and they clinked against each other as she moved. Dr. Marshall was wearing a long skirt that was decorated in bright stripes. Over it, she had a belted denim shirt. She looked comfortable and a lot more approachable than Dr. Murphy had.

The comfortable feeling extended to the rest of the office. Like the lobby, the furniture was fabric upholstered and the cushions looked generously stuffed. Three of the walls were each a different color. The exception was the wall that was full of photos. Mostly headshots and mostly women, but other than that, there were no similarities.

“You like my picture wall?” Dr. Joy asked. She took a seat and gestured to Buck and Bobby to do the same. “Those are photos of people I’ve worked with that have successfully transitioned out of trafficking. I’m hoping to have your photo up there one day.”

Before sitting, Buck went to the wall to take a closer look. All of the people looked normal. Happy, even. He hoped he’d be on Dr. Joy’s wall one day too.

“When Darl asked if I’d take on your case, Evan, she said you weren’t talking. Is that still true?” Dr. Joy asked.

Buck took a chair next to Bobby and nodded. He made a waving motion at his neck and looked at Bobby to explain.

“I’m Bobby Nash,” Bobby explained. “I’m Buck’s LAFD captain and also his friend. He’s been staying with my wife, Athena, and I since he was rescued.”

“And he clearly trusts you a great deal,” Dr. Joy responded. “Evan, I think the answer to this is pretty clear, but I have to formally ask anyway – are you okay with Bobby being in this session?”

Evan nodded again.

Unlike Dr. Murphy, Dr. Joy seemed pleased at the prospect. “Good. I cannot tell you how happy I am that you have that kind of support, Evan. Not everyone I work with does. Your Bobby is allowed to come to sessions for as long as you want him to. And if the time comes when you don’t want him here and aren’t comfortable telling him, you just let me know and I’ll tell him myself.”

Both Bobby and Buck nodded.

“All right, then, let’s get started. I saw the press conferences and a bit of the news this morning, but I’d like to hear from you what happened.” Dr. Joy said to Buck, then turned to Bobby. “Or if Evan isn’t up to telling the story, if you could tell me as much as you know?”

Bobby looked at Buck, who nodded. Bobby could tell her about it.

“It all started with the tsunami that hit LA nine months ago,” Bobby started.

Buck only half-listened; he was way too familiar with the story. Instead, he continued to look around the office and once in a while snuck a look at Dr. Joy’s face, to see her reaction to what Bobby was saying. She was frowning, but Buck wasn’t sure if that was because of what had happened to Buck or if she thought Buck was weak for allowing it to take place.

Dr. Joy was sitting in a chair that was obviously her typical seat. It had a table next to it and placed on the table were a framed photo of a dog, a houseplant with leaves tipped in pink, and a large jar. The jar had a “Swear Jar” sign and it was almost halfway full. Buck bit his lip when he saw it; it was a good thing he couldn’t talk because otherwise he’d probably be contributing a lot to the jar. He couldn’t imagine speaking about Carlyle and Cory and the rest without cursing. 

“Evan,” a female voice broke into Buck’s wandering thoughts. He looked up and Dr. Joy was looking at him. She was solemn, but it wasn’t a disapproving type of seriousness.

“Evan, I hope you know what an amazing young man you are,” Dr. Joy said once she realized she had Buck’s attention. “To have survived all of that is quite an accomplishment. I’m more honored than ever to be working with you.”

Buck blushed and looked down.

“We have a lot of work ahead of us,” Dr. Joy stated. “Someone simply can’t go through that kind of trauma unscathed. I can promise you that I will do whatever I can to guide you and help you, but I think there’s a few things I should tell you before you decide if you want me as your therapist.”

When Buck looked at Dr. Joy again, she was smiling at him. “I’ll warn you, Evan, I’m known for being blunt and maybe a little too honest.”

She seemed to be looking for a response, so Buck nodded.

“All right, I want to give you my three basic truths about human trafficking, that should give you an idea if I’m a therapist you can work with,” Dr. Joy said. “The first truth is that you did nothing to deserve what happened to you. Traffickers are a special type of abuser and are manipulative bastards – damn.”

Dr. Joy sighed. “Excuse me.” She reached into her pocket, pulled out two coins and deposited them into the Swear Jar, where they hit the coins already in the jar with a metallic plop. She looked back at Buck with a rueful smile. “What, you thought the jar was for you? No, you can say anything you want while you’re here and cussing is the least of it. No, the jar’s for me. I’ve been advised that cursing up a storm isn’t exactly professional and I’m trying to mend my ways.”

Bobby chuckled. “I might have to do a modified version of that at the station.”

“All right, where were we before my potty mouth interrupted?” Dr. Joy continued. “Right, you weren’t to blame, Evan. No matter what the traffickers told you, it wasn’t because of anything you did before they got hold of you, not because who you are as a person. In your case, they kidnapped you during a natural disaster and didn’t even know your name. Traffickers are notorious for getting their hooks into the people they’re controlling by convincing the victim that it’s their fault. It’s simply not true.”

She looked at Buck and he nodded. He wasn’t so sure being grabbed by Carlyle wasn’t karma for his Buck 1.0 days, but appearing to agree with Dr. Joy was easier than debating her at this point.

Dr. Joy smiled sadly; she saw through him. “That’s okay, Evan, if you don’t believe me yet. You will eventually.”

“She’s right, Buck,” Bobby added. “Nothing they did to you was your fault.”

Buck shrugged and, wanting to get off the topic, he held up two fingers. Time to move on to the next truth.

Dr. Joy got the message. “Truth #2 is that you can heal from the trauma of being trafficked. Just look at that wall of pictures. All of them successfully made the transition out. You can too; I’m sure of it. The catch is that it’s going to take a lot of work. Healing from trafficking takes time and tenacity. It’s going to happen, but not overnight. With a lot of hard work, I’m convinced that you’ll make it. I can guide you and friends like Bobby here can support you, but most of the work is going to have to come from you. Are you ready for that?”

This time there was no hesitation, Buck nodded. He wanted his life back and wasn’t afraid of hard work. The way he’d gotten his leg back into shape after the ladder truck incident was proof that he was tough, as was passing SEAL training. It was just that those had been physical things to overcome and what he was dealing with now was emotional. He wasn’t so good with emotions. Buck looked at Bobby, who was watching him. When he saw that Buck was looking back, Bobby serenely nodded and Buck felt better. He wouldn’t be going through this alone.

“Good,” Dr. Joy smiled at him. “Because Truth #3 is that you’re going to feel worse before you feel better.”

Buck winced.

“You have a lot of trauma to unpack, Evan,” Dr. Joy told him kindly. “Right now, I suspect you have it all stuffed into a mental box at the back of your mind. That kind of tactic was necessary to keep you sane and to protect yourself as much as you could while you were being abused. The challenge will be to work through those things you’re repressing. Once you’ve unpacked each piece of the trauma and shaken it loose, you can let it go. Ultimately, the way you feel today will get better, much better, but getting there is a process. Please don’t lose sight of that.”

Sighing, Buck nodded. Just once he’d like for something to be easy, but he understood what the therapist was telling him.

Dr. Joy sat back in her chair. “What do you think? Would you like to work with me?”

Buck thought about it and nodded. He liked what he’d seen of Dr. Joy. She was plain spoken, but kind. 

“Thank you, I won’t let you down.” Dr. Joy smiled. “Shall we get started now?” She waited for Buck to nod. “I have a tool for you to use and some homework for you.” She looked at Bobby. “And some homework for you too.”

“Really?” Bobby’s eyebrows went up almost into his hairline. 

“Really,” Dr. Joy answered.

Without explaining, the therapist got up from her chair and walked to her desk. She picked up a folder and sheaf of papers before returning to her seat.

“First, the tool,” she handed Buck the folder. 

He opened the folder and found pages that were covered with simple drawings. Buck looked up at Dr. Joy for an explanation.

“These are examples of communication boards,” Dr. Joy told him. “You can find them on the internet or create your own. You’re not comfortable with speaking and from what I understand, writing is also problematic.” She grinned at Buck. “You’re obviously are communicating with Bobby just fine, but something like this will come in handy when you need to talk with someone who doesn’t know you as well.”

Buck looked through the papers and then handed it to Bobby.

“This is a great idea,” Bobby said. “I wonder why we didn’t think of it before?” He glanced briefly at Buck before addressing Dr. Joy again. “About the not talking, when should we worry about that?”

“When?” Dr. Joy looked at him steadily. “Are you telling me that you’re not worried about it now?”

Bobby laughed uncomfortably and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yes, I guess I am.” He glanced at Buck. “Sorry, Buck. It’s just concerning to have you be so quiet.”

“Remember that box that I said that was probably in Evan’s mind, packed with trauma?” Dr. Joy asked. “Those kinds of boxes are very heavy. I think we’ll see as that box gets unpacked and the trauma processed, that Evan will start to speak again.” She turned to Buck. “Does the not talking bother you?”

Buck glanced at Bobby and shrugged.

“I think that means that it worries us more than it does him,” Bobby guessed.

Buck nodded.

“If it does start bothering you, Evan, you could try practicing every day.” Dr. Joy said. “I’d suggest that you not try to force it, though. Your psyche will let you speak when you’re ready.”

“Now for the homework,” Dr. Joy continued. “I want you to get a piece of paper, preferably larger than the standard 8.5 x 11 and I want you to cover it with images of things or people that make you happy. It can be photos or images cut out of magazines or even downloads from the internet.” She spread out the sheaf of papers on the coffee table. Buck and Bobby leaned forward.

“These are some examples.” She tapped the first page. “I made this one. It’s got pictures of my favorite places to vacation, a photo of my dog, pressings of my favorite flowers. . . . all things that make me happy.” She pointed to the next one. “This is from a patient. Music is very important to her and so you see images of her favorite artists and printouts of lyrics.” She spread her hands to encompass the others. “Look through them, you’ll see there’s really no right or wrong way to do this.”

Buck went through the examples Dr. Joy had. Some had lots of images of people, while others didn’t contain a single human on them. 

“What about this one?” Bobby asked. The page he held was simply colored a solid yellow.

Dr. Joy looked sad. “That particular patient had an especially hard time. The only thing that she said made her happy was sunshine.”

Bobby looked concerned. “And is she on your wall?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, she is,” Dr. Joy tapped on another example. This one had photos of a man holding a baby. The baby’s face was marked out so it couldn’t be identified, but it clearly was the image of a happy family. “She made the yellow one when she first started working with me and this second one a couple of years later.”

“What do you think, Evan, can you make a happiness collage?” Dr. Joy asked.

Buck nodded; he already had some ideas.

“That’s your homework,” Dr. Joy said, then looked at Bobby. “Like I said, I have homework for you too.”

“Anything if it helps Buck.”

“I want you to get some 4x6 cards, the type that you write recipes on,” she snorted. “At least you used to put recipes on them back in the day before the internet.”

Bobby smiled. “I’m old enough to remember that, I know what you mean.”

Dr. Joy nodded. “Get a whole pack and distribute them amongst Evan’s family, friends and co-workers. Anyone who cares for him. Have them write something positive about Evan on the cards. Then gather them back so that you have them for our next visit.”

She turned her gaze on Buck. “One of traffickers’ favorite things to do is to tear you down, make you doubt your own worth. One of the things we’ll be working on is reminding you that you’re an amazing human being. You can’t do that for yourself right now, so your family and friends are going to do it for you.”

Buck looked down the hem of his hoodie, which had become inexplicably interesting.

“I know you don’t feel like you’re amazing right now,” Dr. Joy told him. “So that’s why we’re going to get some help from your friends. These will be like affirmation cards made specifically for you, by the people who know you best.”

“I’ll get them made,” Bobby promised. “I know I’ll have a lot of volunteers.”

“The truths of trafficking. Communication boards. Happiness collage and affirmation cards, I think we’ve gone over quite enough for today.” Dr. Joy proclaimed. 

“How often will you be seeing Buck?” Bobby asked.

“I think once a week to start,” Dr. Joy said. “Freedom is a lot to process and I’d prefer that Evan concentrate on that to begin with.” She smiled at Buck. “Is that okay with you? Other than putting together your happiness collage, all you need to do is relax and getting used to having your life back.”

Buck nodded. For a brief moment he wished he could talk. He’d like to point out to the therapist that the life he was living now wasn’t exactly his. It was a lot closer than when he’d been in the Menagerie, but, ultimately, wasn’t the life he wanted to have. He wanted to be a firefighter again. Wanted to have normal relationships. Wanted to sleep through the night without any nightmares.

“About paying for the sessions,” Bobby began. “We’re still getting Buck’s insurance figured out.”

“This clinic is heavily funded through a variety of government programs,” Dr. Joy assured them. “Once the insurance issue is figured out, we can talk about payment.”

“Thank you, doctor,” Bobby shook the therapist’s hand.

Buck did the same.

Dr. Joy walked them back to the lobby. “Please make an appointment with Dana on the way out. And, Evan, I hope the happiness collage is something you actually enjoy working on.” The reached the door. “I’ll see you next week.”

Bobby led Buck out. Once the door closed behind them, Bobby looked at Buck solemnly. “You’re sure your comfortable working with her? She seems to be very knowledgeable, but I want to make sure that you feel she’s a good fit - . . . .”

Buck hadn’t seen Bobby ramble often. He put a hand on Bobby’s arm and when Bobby’s rapid words came to a stop, Buck made the thumb’s up sign. Bobby relaxed with a smile.

“Okay, as long as you’re sure.” Bobby seemed happy that Buck liked Dr. Joy. “I’ll set up the next appointments.”

While Bobby was doing that, Buck wandered a few steps away and pulled out his phone. While he’d been in his session, he’d received a text from Maddie. It had a picture of Chim wearing an apron with a caption that indicated that Maddie was supervising while Chim made meatloaf using their family recipe. 

Buck smiled. Chim was a good man.

“That’s a welcome sight,” Bobby interrupted Buck’s thoughts. “You smiling.”

Blushing, Buck ducked his head. 

“Come on, I let Athena know that you’re done with your session,” Bobby guided Buck towards the door that would lead back to the main entrance. Athena was waiting for them.

“Buckaroo, are you ready to go?” Athena greeted them. The lines around her eyes were tight. Buck had a feeling her meeting hadn’t gone as well as his had.

Buck nodded. 

“Good, Maddie’s expecting us,” Athena told him.

Athena led them back out to the SUV, Bobby telling her about the therapy appointment.

“How did your talk with Darla go?” Bobby asked his wife.

“It was eye opening,” Athena said wryly. “After all my years as a cop, I thought I knew everything about human trafficking. It’s embarrassing to find out that what I knew barely scratched the surface.”

Buck tuned out the rest of their conversation. Instead, he concentrated on his phone, looking for images he could use for his happiness collage. Sooner than he realized, they were driving down Maddie’s street. When they got to her townhouse, the garage door was opening. They drove past the van parked in front of Maddie’s place and right into the garage.

“Wait until the door’s all the way down,” Bobby instructed as Buck moved to get out of the SUV.

“I saw it too,” Athena said. She was already getting her phone out. “I’ll see if I can get a squad here. I’m guessing there won’t be just the one watching the house by the time we leave.”

The van. It hadn’t occurred to Buck that it might be from a news station. How had they tracked him to Maddie’s?

While Athena stayed behind in the garage to make some phone calls, Buck and Bobby entered the house. Bobby called out as they went through the door.

“Maddie, it’s just Bobby and Buck.”

“I’m in the living room,” Maddie called back. 

For once, Buck was in the lead as they made their way through the house. Something smelled really good and Buck almost felt hungry. Not hungry enough to stop in the kitchen, though. He just wanted to see his sister again. 

Buck quickly made his way to the living room and there Maddie was, ensconced on the couch. Her face lit up when she saw Buck and she reached out for him with grabby hands. With no hesitation, Buck went to her and crouched down so that she could hug him.

When they pulled part, Maddie cradled Buck’s face in her hands and she gently tugged him closer so that their foreheads were pressing together. “Two days in a row; I’m never going to take you for granted again.”

A throat cleared behind them and the siblings turned. Athena was standing in the doorway.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Athena looked annoyed. “Maddie, do you happen to know when that van outside showed up?”

“There’s a van out front?” Maddie asked. She looked at the window as though she just realized that the blinds were shut. “Chim. He and I are going to talk about that when he gets home.”

“He left you alone?” Athena asked.

“I’m pregnant, not paralyzed,” Maddie told her friend, a bite of temper in her voice. “Chim’s saving up as many personal days as possible for when the boys are born. He got the meatloaf in the oven and when I got the message with your ETA, he left for work.”

Buck looked worriedly from one woman to the next. He didn’t want them fighting. Thankfully, Athena backed down first.

“Sorry, my mama bear instincts are going haywire,” Athena apologized. “Especially after this morning.”

Maddie looked from Athena to Buck. “What happened this morning?”

“We had a few visitors waiting to pounce on us when we left the house,” Athena explained. “I’m guessing that whoever was in that van was a lookout in case we turned up here. You’ll soon have a gaggle of reporters surrounding your house too.”

“Let them come,” Maddie clenched her jaw. “If they think what you gave Taylor Kelly last night was a verbal smackdown, just let them cross paths with me.”

Buck’s eyes widened with fear. He tapped Maddie’s shoulder and when she looked at him, gently patted her stomach.

Maddie glared at him, but then sighed. “You’re right, I have to think of the babies.” 

“I guess I’m not the only mama bear around here,” Athena smiled. “But I arranged to have a squad car posted here for a few days. We can’t run them off totally, but we can at least keep them from your doorstep.” She took a deep breath. “Bobby’s in the kitchen. He wanted to know if you want lunch in here or if you can eat at the table, Maddie.”

“I can be up for brief periods,” Maddie started to get off the couch. “Meatloaf made with the famous Buckley recipe deserves to be eaten at a table.”

“Sit, sit.” Athena said. “There’s a few things to finish up before we can eat. I’ll go help him.”

Buck watched her walk off and then turned to Maddie. He held up the folder with the communication boards.

“Oooh, what’s that?” Maddie asked as she opened the folder. “Communication boards, I should have thought of that. I used these when I was a nurse.”

They went through the boards for the next several minutes, determining which ones worked the best. Maddie was excited at the thought of making custom boards. Her enthusiasm made Buck smile. Maddie always was happiest helping the ones she loved.

“Lunch is served,” Bobby came to the living room to announce. “Hope you’re hungry.”

Buck hurriedly offered Maddie his arm. She grinned at him as she took it. Once Maddie was off the couch, they made their way towards the kitchen.

There was way too much food on the table.

When Buck stopped, intimidated by the size of the meal, Maddie tugged Buck towards the table. “Come on, it’ll be okay.”

Buck gingerly sat in a chair. In addition to the meatloaf, there were baked potatoes and mixed vegetables, in addition to a basket of rolls. Buck’s mouth watered at the scents, but at the same time, his stomach clenched. He’d barely been able to eat a couple of pancakes, how was he supposed to eat all of this?

“Hey,” Maddie said to him. “Hey.” When Buck looked at her in response, she smiled. “No one expects you to eat everything on the table. Just take a few bites, that’s all I ask. I just wanted to have welcome home meal with you.”

“I liked Buck’s therapist,” Bobby said, the change in topic obvious, but, at least in Buck’s case, very welcome. “Even if she has a swear jar.”

“Swear jar?” Maddie asked.

Buck relaxed as the attention moved off of him. Athena had heard much about the therapist session before, but acted like everything she heard was new. When she caught Buck looking at her, she winked at him and then nodded at his plate. He appreciated the fact that he was allowed to dish up his own food. Buck ended up eating more than he’d intended, but probably not as much as the others wanted.

After they were done eating, Bobby and Athena shooed Buck and Maddie back to the living room, where Buck helped Maddie back onto the couch.

“I have an ob/gyn appointment on Friday,” she told him. “I’m hoping now that the stress of finding out you’re alive has gotten better, they’ll take me off bed rest.”

Buck tilted his head and looked at her in concern.

“Oh, I’m not saying I’ll go back to work full time or even at all, but at it would be relief to be able to move around more,” Maddie winced and rubbed her stomach. “I think your nephews like meatloaf. They’re dancing around in there.”

Buck had moved forward when Maddie showed discomfort, wanting to help, but sat back on his heels when she said she was okay. He reached out his hand tentatively and Maddie smiled. She took it and placed it on his stomach.

He loved his sister, Buck really did, but feeling something moving around inside her was weird. Still, he kept his hand on her stomach and tried to imagine babies with Maddie’s smile and the twinkle from Chim’s eyes. After a few minutes of that, the movement didn’t seem so weird.

“Hey, you two, you think you can handle it on your own for a few hours?” Bobby asked as he entered the room. “We have the kitchen cleaned up and the leftovers put away. Both Athena and I have some errands to run. A squad car’s out front, so you won’t have to worry about any reporters.”

“I would love to have the company,” Maddie said. “But wasn’t Buck visiting Hen and Karen this afternoon?”

“That’s been postponed,” Bobby said. He looked at Buck. “It seemed like you’d had enough for today, so we rescheduled for tomorrow. Hope that’s okay.”

Buck sighed and nodded in relief. He wanted to see them, but with the reporters and the therapy and then Maddie, it was getting to be a bit much. He made the sign of ‘thank you’ to Bobby.

Athena walked into the room. “I saw that Chim had put in a load to wash and it was done, so I moved it into the dryer.” She wagged a finger at Maddie. “Don’t you dare touch it. You have a husband; that’s what husbands are for.”

“Really?” Bobby asked in a tone as dry as the desert.

“When the wife is pregnant with twins, you’re damn straight it is,” Athena shot back. She turned back to Maddie and Buck. “You good?”

“We’re good,” Maddie confirmed. “It’ll be kind of nice to have Buck all to myself.”

Buck blushed and looked down. 

With instructions to call them or Chim if they needed anything, Bobby and Athena left. The siblings looked at each other and Maddie grinned, with Buck managing a small smile. It was Maddie’s house, but it almost felt like their parents had left them alone for an evening.

“Come on, let’s look for some images you can use for the Buck Buckley Personalized Communication Board,” Maddie suggested. 

Her laptop was on the coffee table and the two sat together and looked for pictures that would be helpful. They were still at it when the dryer buzzed.

“Ignore it,” Maddie said.

Buck thought about it for a minute, but then he got to his feet. Why should the laundry sit in the in the dryer and get all wrinkly when his movement wasn’t restricted the way that Maddie’s was? He ignored Maddie’s protests and headed down the hallway. It wasn’t hard to find the laundry room. Buck unloaded the dryer and it was seriously the most surreal thing he’d done since getting rescued. It was laundry, but it was so damn normal . . . . Buck found himself blinking away tears.

He didn’t want to leave Maddie alone in the living room, so Buck put the dried laundry into the plastic basket that was waiting for it and headed back the way he came. Maddie was looking at him in exasperation when he returned. She must have seen something in his face, though, because her expression turned to fondness.

“Bring it over here and we can fold it together,” Maddie suggested.

Buck did and he plopped on the floor right next to the couch that Maddie was laying on. He picked the first thing out of the basket to fold and realized his mistake. It wasn’t just Maddie’s laundry, it was Chim’s too. The item he’d grabbed was a pair of men’s boxers. Buck was holding Chim’s underwear. He dropped it like it was on fire.

Maddie giggled. “I’ll make a deal with you, I’ll do the underwear, both mine and Chim’s, you can do the socks and towels.”

Grateful, Buck nodded. 

With two of them, it didn’t take long to finish folding the laundry. Without having to be asked, Buck put it back into the basket. He considered taking it to the bedroom, but decided he wasn’t ready for that. Instead, he just pushed it aside. A big yawn took him by surprise and Buck blinked slowly. His eyes were getting heavy; the day was catching up to him.

“I’m going to find something on TV for us to watch,” Maddie picked up the remote and navigated to a directory. “How about Sponge Bob?”

Buck smiled and nodded. Maddie used to watch Sponge Bob with him when he was a kid. 

Maddie settled into the couch and Buck laid out on the floor right next to it.

“There are other chairs, you know,” Maddie protested. “They’d be more comfortable than the floor.”

Buck shook his head. The chairs were too far away.

“At least pull some of the cushions off one of them; the floor is hard.”

Knowing his sister wouldn’t relax if he didn’t do it, Buck got up long enough to grab a couple of pillows and laid back down with a happy sigh. Soon a familiar song emanated from the television.

‘Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?’

Maddie’s softly sang. “SpongeBob, SquarePants.”

Buck mouthed the words, but his eyes were getting really heavy. Maddie’s hand dangled down.

“Don’t be startled, Buck,” Maddie murmured. “It’s just me.”

Her hand landed gently on the top of Buck’s head and started softly stroking his hair. It was what she used to do when he was a kid and she was putting him to bed.

Buck fell asleep wondering how he’d ever be able to recreate this moment for his happiness board.


	20. Chapter 20

Hen didn’t mind being the last of the fire fam to see Buck. He was her little brother of the heart, but she also knew that others had a greater claim. Maddie, of course, was blood. Bobby was practically a father to Buck and Chim literally was Buck’s brother now that he’d married Maddie. As for Eddie, well, he cared for Buck a lot and had missed him terribly, maybe more than all of the rest of them. Hen wasn’t about to try to define Eddie’s relationship to Buck, although she did have her suspicions.

“Wow, Athena wasn’t kidding about the reporters,” Karen murmured as they rounded the corner and approached Athena and Bobby’s house. A group of news trucks were parked outside.

Athena had given Hen’s name to the squad on duty as someone permitted to enter the property, so after carefully working her way through the gaggle of people, Hen stopped for the policeman, rolled down her vehicle’s window and showed the officer her ID. She did her best to ignore the questions being shouted to her.

“How’s Evan Buckley doing?”

“Will Evan be returning to the fire station soon?”

“Is Evan in touch with the other Lazarus Five victims?”

Hen clenched the steering wheel tightly until she felt a soft touch on her leg.

“Hold on, babe, we’re almost through,” Karen encouraged

They parked as close to the front door as the driveway allowed. The shouts from the reporters continued, but the women ignored them. They just grabbed the bags they’d brought out of the back and swiftly went to the door. Thankfully Athena was right there to let them in.

“That’s awful,” Karen said as she stepped through the doorway, gesturing outside.

“Tell me about it,” Athena replied. “It’s not as bad today, but we still couldn’t get Buck to go see Maddie today. I think he’s worried that they’ll follow him there. With her pregnant, Buck’s feeling a little protective.”

“Of course he is,” Hen stated. She looked around the darkened living room, but didn’t see him. “Where is Buck?”

“He and Bobby are downstairs, working on the homework the therapist gave them,” Athena explained, leading them to the kitchen. Most of the things that Hen and Karen had brought were fixings for lunch. Athena put the bowl of chicken salad in the fridge. The rest went on the counter. “Thank you for bringing lunch, but it really wasn’t necessary. Having Buck with us is no strain on the food budget, he doesn’t eat enough to keep a bird alive.”

“Not eating is something he can control,” Hen said. “Not to mention that Bobby said that Buck got punished a lot.”

“I know,” Athena sighed. “I don’t like it, but I understand.”

“How is he?” Hen asked.

Athena sighed.“ He’s quiet. Doesn’t want us to see how hurt he is. That boy has so many emotions bottled up that I worry for him if they don’t come out soon.”

“It’s only been a few days, he probably hasn’t even truly processed that he’s safe now,” Karen guessed. “When Buck realizes that he’s truly home, hopefully he’ll feel comfortable enough to let us in.”

“I don’t know,” Athena hesitated. “Buck categorically refuses to see Christopher or any of the other kids. I think he’s ashamed for them to see him.”

“Just give him time,” Hen said. “Our Buckaroo is as tough as they come.”

“I’m not sure these damn reporters will give him the time he needs.” Athena sighed. “They’re here when we leave and here when we come home. They were even at Maddie’s when we left yesterday, they’d had someone watching the house. Not only will Buck not go see Maddie, but he didn’t want to go out into backyard this morning either. That was something he’s really enjoyed since he got here.”

Hen and Karen shared a look.

“Karen has something that might help, but, please, let’s talk about it later,” Hen grinned at Athena. “I’ve been patient waiting my turn, but now that I’m here, I can’t wait any more. I’d like to see Buck.”

Athena smiled. “Well, then, why don’t you turn around?”

Hen did as instructed and there Buck was. He was standing right at the top of the stairs, looking at her shyly.

“Oh, Buckaroo,” Hen was across the space before she knew it, but managed to come to a fumbling stop before she wrapped her arms around her friend. As an EMT, she’d seen too many sexual assault victims to just grab him without permission. “Can I hug you?”

Buck answered by stepping forward and soon Hen had her arms wrapped around him. She was surprised at how slight he felt. Buck was a large, athletic man who’d always towered over Hen’s shorter stature. Even after being crushed by the ladder truck, he hadn’t seemed this frail. And small. For the first time Hen felt like she was the tall one. It was as if Buck had shrunk.

Hen pulled back and reached up to cup Buck’s face with her hands. “You have been missed, Buck. So very, very much. And we’re very happy that you’re home.”

Her words caused Buck to blush and shrug. Hen used to get annoyed sometimes at Buck’s endless prattle. Now she’d give anything to hear it again.

“Hello, Buck,” it’s good to see you,” Karen said.

Buck let go of Hen and gave her a look like he was asking permission. “Just ask her, Buck. I’m sure that Karen would love a hug.”

“No need to ask; the answer is yes,” Karen interjected. “That is, if Buck is up for one.”

Buck was a little more tentative with Karen, but he also didn’t know her as well as he did Hen. As though sensing that, Karen was very careful when she wrapped her arms around him and Hen felt a deep sense of contentment bubble up. Buck was back and, while clearly traumatized, he was able to accept affection from friends and family. Hen had only been a foster mother for a few months, but she already knew that was something they could work with.

When the hug with Karen ended, Buck looked at both them. Making what looked like a fist, he put it on his chest. After making a couple of circles, he then positioned his arms so that it looked like he was cradling a baby.

Hen exchanged a confused look with Karen, but she just shook her head. They both looked at Athena, who bit her lip.

“I recognize the sign for ‘sorry,’” Athena said. “But I’m not sure how that connects to a baby.”

“I think he’s saying that he’s sorry the IVF didn’t work out,” Bobby’s voice came as a surprise. Hen hadn’t noticed him come upstairs.

Buck nodded, looking relieved that someone had understood him.

“Thank you, sweetie, but we’re okay,” Karen smiled at Buck. “We decided to give fostering a try instead and it’s been a wonderful decision.”

Hen lifted up the only non-food item they’d brought with them – a photo album. “You want to see?”

Buck turned as if to go downstairs, but Athena stopped him with a gentle hand on his upper arm. “Why don’t you use the living room?” When he hesitated, Athena was quick to reassure. “No reporters are coming to that door. The living room is just as safe as the basement.”

He didn’t look like he fully believed her, but Buck headed into the living room anyway. Ken and Karen followed and took seats on the couch, while Buck sat in the chair across from them. Hen put the photo album down on the coffee table and opened it up.

“That’s Nia, our first foster,” Hen said, pointing to a photo of a little girl standing next to Denny. Their son was grinning broadly, while Amy looked a little uncertain. “What a sweetheart she turned out to be.”

As they turned the pages, either Karen or Hen would tell Buck who the child was and the circumstances that brought them into their care. They’d only been at it for six months, so they hadn’t had many foster kids, but there were a lot of photos and even more stories. Hen was inordinately proud that, as the photos went on for each child’s stay, they looked happier and happier in the pictures. She and her wife were doing good work. Hard, but so very needed.

“I hate to interrupt,” Bobby spoke from the doorway. “But lunch is served.”

“Perfect timing, we just finished with the photos of Elijah,” Karen said, smiling up at Bobby as she closed the album. 

“And I’m hungry.” Hen added.

The three of them got up and followed Bobby to the kitchen. Either Bobby or Athena had set out the meal that Karen and Hen had brought. The croissants had been sliced open and filled with chicken salad. There was one on each plate. The potato chips were in one bowl and fruit salad in another. A glass with sweet tea was each setting.

“Karen made the chicken salad, so it’s edible,” Hen assured the others. What she didn’t mention was that Karen had left out some of the ingredients she usually used, like the grapes and almonds. They still weren’t sure what might upset Buck’s stomach.

“Well, it looks wonderful,” Athena praised. “Let’s dig in.”

And that’s what they did. At first there was no conversation beyond praising the food. Hen watched Buck covertly and saw what had been worrying Bobby and Athena. Buck took a few bites, but they were small. Gone was his usual enthusiasm for eating and that made Hen itch to fix it.

“Is there anything the LAPD can do about the reporters camping out in front of your house?” Hen asked, looking at Athena when she spoke.

“We can keep them from stepping on our property, but the street is public ground,” Athena said, the frustration clear in her voice. “They tried to follow us to Buck’s appointment and, like I said, they had someone watching Maddie’s house.” 

Buck had stopped any pretense of eating as the conversation turned to his infamy. He abruptly got up from the table and all but ran down the stairs. Right after that, Hen could have sworn she heard Christopher’s voice.

Bobby sighed. “The only thing we can think of that might help is to move him around. That way the reporters will have trouble figuring out where he is.”

“That doesn’t sound ideal,” Karen said. “What Buck needs right now is stability.”

“Agreed,” Bobby said. “The FBI agent that helped free Buck gave me the contact information for Margo Kingsley’s family, she’s another traffick victim from LA. Her husband and father-in-law are lawyers. Together, maybe we can persuade the media to give Buck and Margo a break.”

“What if we had another solution?” Hen asked. 

Bobby and Athena exchanged glances.

“What would that be?” Athena asked.

“I have a friend, Eva, who’s a professor at UCLA,” Karen stated. “She’s on sabbatical right now, a one-year tour of Africa. She’d made a deal with one of her grad students. He would stay in her house, do the yard work and pay the utilities, and Eva would let him live there rent-free until she came back.”

“But his mother had a stroke and he was called back home to Philly,” Hen took up the story. “Eva asked Karen and me to look after the house until she could make other arrangements.”

“When I told her about Buck and his situation, Eva agreed that he could live at her house,” Karen said. “She won’t be back for nine months. Buck could have a place to stay that would be hard to trace back to him. The reporters wouldn’t be able to find him.”

Athena’s smile was full of relief. “That sounds wonderful.”

Bobby, on the other hand, was frowning. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with Buck living alone.”

“Who said he’d be alone?” Hen asked. “Instead of Buck moving from one house to another, he stays in one place and we rotate in and out to stay with him.”

“Maddie’s on bedrest; maybe she could do that bedrest with Buck, at this new house,” Athena suggested. She glanced at her husband. “This might be a way for all of us to get back to a more normal life, especially Buck.”

Boddy wasn’t frowning anymore, but he didn’t look entirely convinced either. 

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Bobby warned. “This does sound like a great solution, but there’s still one more person we have to ask.”

“Buck?” Hen guessed.

“Yes, Buck,” Bobby replied. He got up from the table. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll go talk to him. If he’s okay with the arrangement, I think we should do it.” He smiled at Hen and Karen. “Thank you.”

The three women watched as Bobby followed Buck downstairs.

Athena sighed. “You’ll have to excuse him; Bobby’s feeling very protective right now.”

Hen nodded. “We know. We all saw how Buck’s ‘death’ gutted him.”

“Beyond getting away from the media, maybe having a new place to stay will help give Buck a new start,” Karen said.

“I hope so,” Hen said as she looked at the stairway that both Buck and Bobby had gone down.

“I truly hope so.”

911---911---911---911---911---911---911---911---

Bobby had a sense of déjà vu as he walked down the stairs. It felt a lot like when he’d gone to comfort Buck after the press conference. The damage the mayor had done with that stunt was still happening.

At least this time Buck’s bedroom door was open. Bobby poked his head in. Buck was sitting in the chair, holding the bear, and was focused on its soft ears.

“Hey, Buck,” Bobby called softly, not wanting to startle him. He waited until Buck looked at him before speaking again. “Can I come in?”

Buck nodded, although he went back to contemplating the bear.

“I know you’re feeling guilty about the reporters, but it’s not your fault,” Bobby told him.

Still not looking up, Buck shook his head.

“We’ll have to agree to disagree, then” Bobby told him. “Hen and Karen have an idea that might help. A friend of theirs is out of the country and needs someone to watch her house.”

That got Buck’s attention. He looked at Bobby, eyes bright with interest.

“You wouldn’t be alone, not until you’re ready for it,” Bobby assured him, silently adding to himself that Buck might be ready to be on his own long before Bobby was ready for it. “But this way you’d be staying somewhere the reporters couldn’t find you. We’d all take turns staying with you. How’s that sound?”

Buck looked down at the bear. Bobby fended off the temptation to say more; this needed to be Buck’s decision. Just when the length of the silence had gotten uncomfortable, Buck looked up at Bobby and nodded.

“All right, I’ll let everyone know,” Bobby told him. “Hen and Karen are staying awhile, so feel free to rejoin them if you feel up to it.” He moved to leave the room, but turned at the last minute. “I hope you know, Buck, that this house is always open to you, the new house arrangement doesn’t change that.”

Buck smiled shyly and shook his head yes.

“Good.” 

Bobby had intended to go back upstairs and tell the others of Buck’s decision. His attention was taken, however, by the remnants of the projects they’d been working on before Hen and Karen had arrived. 

Smiling, Bobby picked up Buck’s collage. About half of the page was covered already and, not too surprisingly, Buck had chosen pictures of his family. Not just Maddie, but Christopher, Eddie and all of the fire family, including Bobby. 

Bobby admitted that he hadn’t been as enthusiastic as he could have been about the new living arrangements that Hen and Karen had found. He knew, deep down, that it really was better for Buck. Not just to dodge the reporters, but to give Buck a sense of having a place of his own. It was Bobby that was insecure about Buck being out of his direct protection. The happiness collage, however, reminded Bobby that it wasn’t the house that created a home for Buck, but the people. 

Feeling better about it, Bobby returned the collage to the coffee table where he’d found it and grabbed the stack of index cards. He had three ladies upstairs that would help him help him fill them out with positive things about Buck. 

Dr. Joy had called it Bobby’s homework, but writing affirmations for Buck? That would be no work at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have noticed that instead of a question mark, the story is now listed as being 21 chapters long - and this is the 20th chapter. I've done a lot of thinking this week and decided to bring the story to an end after the next chapter. I'm tired and need a break and, frankly, I think the story needs a break too. The sequel, tentatively titled "The Long Way Back" will start some time in April , probably towards the end of April. Thanks for sticking with me so far!


	21. Chapter 21

Moving day. Buck sat in the chair in “his” bedroom at Bobby and Athena’s and admitted to himself that he didn’t want to go.

When Buck had agreed to the move, it had seemed like a good idea. He couldn’t stay at Bobby and Athena’s forever. Not only did he know that Athena had to be missing her kids, but the reporters camped outside were a nuisance. Athena had some complaints from neighbors about that too, although she’d tried to keep that information from him. Frankly, Buck thought anyone who’d complain to Athena was an idiot. Not only was the reporter problem beyond Athena’s control, but who in their right mind would complain to Athena of all people? She was a scary woman when she wanted to be.

The actual day of the move had come much quicker than Buck expected, just two days after Hen and Karen made the suggestion. Not that Buck had much to pack, but now that the day was at hand, he felt reluctant to leave. Maybe not so much the house, but Bobby and Athena. Especially Bobby. He’d never complain about it, but Buck knew that Bobby had lost quite a few personal days in order to deal with Buck’s drama. It was time for Bobby to go back to work and to go back to living his own Bobby life.

He heard footsteps overhead and Buck sighed. He’d have to go up there eventually. Hen and Karen had shown up first, followed by Eddie. Buck had fled downstairs before Eddie had arrived, but he would know that last set of footsteps anywhere.

“Buck?”

Looking up, Buck saw the man he’d been thinking of standing in the doorway.

“You need help with anything?” Eddie asked, concern radiating from him.

Buck shook his head. The last things in the room where his box of knickknacks and his bear; he’d be able to handle it. He’d been holding the bear, but put it on top of the box before hefting the whole thing in his arms.

“I’ll take care of that for you,” Eddie stepped forward and took the box, but gestured at the bear with his chin. “You take your pal there. Chris would never let me hear the end of it if anything happened to that bear.”

Did Eddie think that Buck was incapable of carrying one box? Buck bit his lip, but did as he was told. His friends put aside their own day off plans to help him; he wasn’t going to make any fuss about anything.

“Chim and Maddie are going to meet us at the house,” Bobby instructed when Buck and Eddie got to the top of the stairs. He looked at Buck. “You got everything?”

Buck nodded without looking at him.

“This is the famous bear, huh?” Hen asked as she walked over. “And it talks?”

That was an obvious request for a demonstration, so Buck obliged. 

“I love you, Buck! You’re my hero, thank you for saving me!”

Hen chuckled, her expression one of fondness. “That Christopher, he’s one smart kid.” She smiled at Eddie. “That’s a good one you have there, Eddie.”

“Don’t I know it,” Eddie grinned and put the box on the table. Other than a couple of suitcases full of clothes, it was all that Buck had. His furniture was still being stored by other members of the 118.

“How are you feeling, Buckaroo?” Athena asked softly

Buck shrugged, but at the fleeting look of disappointment on Bobby’s face, he searched the box for his communication boards. Bobby had helped him in creating a set just for Buck and he’d been encouraging Buck to identify an emotion instead of just shrugging. Each image had a word underneath it. Looking at them, Buck put two pages next to one another. He put one finger on “excited” and one on “worried.” 

“It’s all right to have mixed emotions, kid,” Bobby assured him. He smiled lopsidedly at Buck. “I have mixed emotions too; I’m not sure I’m ready to have you out of my sight yet.”

Bobby’s words made Buck feel better. If Bobby was having mixed feelings, then Buck wasn’t being weak for having them too.

“All right, let’s get this show on the road,” Athena instructed. “We’ll put the suitcases and the box in our SUV. No sense in the reporters out there seeing evidence that Buck is moving.”

“They’ll know something is up with all the cars that are here,” Hen pointed out.

“That can’t be helped,” Athena replied. “Hopefully they’ll stay true to form and follow our SUV.”

“You’d think they would have given up on that by now,” Bobby said mildly. 

Eddie snorted. “Reporters aren’t the smartest people around.”

“What they lack in intellect, they make up for in persistence,” Karen said.

“Well, as of today, that’s not going to do them any good,” Athena said, her satisfaction obvious. “Let’s go.”

Bobby had a box of his own, so Eddie helped get the SUV loaded and then headed to his truck. Hen and Karen were already gone. Buck pulled up his hoodie and climbed into the back. The SUV was clean enough that he could put the bear on the floorboard without risking getting it dirty. There was more than one kind of dirty; on the floorboard, the bear would be safe from the prying eyes of the reporters.

The number of reporters had gotten smaller, but there were still a few hanging around the end of the driveway. Of necessity, Athena had gotten good at running the gauntlet. Despite the comments in the house, the reporters had learned not to interfere with her too much. There weren’t even any questions hurled at the car as Athena backed down the driveway into the street. One van tried to follow, but was easily evaded.

“That’s the last time we have to do that,” Bobby said when they were in the clear. He looked back at Buck. “Does that feel good?”

Buck nodded. Now that they were away from the reporters, he picked his bear up from the floorboard and put it on the seat next to him. 

“I’ll be staying at the house with you tonight,” Bobby explained. “I have a shift tomorrow, but don’t worry, Chim’s bringing Maddie to the house before I leave.”

It would be hard to not have Bobby around, but Buck would be glad to spend more time with Maddie.

“I spoke to Agent Atkins earlier today,” Bobby continued. “She would like to come speak with you, but I asked that she give you a few more days. Hope that’s okay with you.”

Buck thought about it for a moment, but then made the sign for thank you. He wanted to be a part of bringing Carlyle to justice, but wasn’t sure he was up to talking to the FBI yet. 

“This house will be a step towards normal for you, Buck,” Athena added.

She might be right, but Buck had so many steps to get back to normal that he despaired of it ever happening. 

The commute to the new house wasn’t far from Athena and Bobby’s place, at least by Los Angeles standards. Sooner than he was really ready for, Athena pulled the SUV into a driveway of a contemporary-style house. There were several vehicles already out front, but Buck recognized them all. The fire fam had beaten them there.

As their SUV pulled in, Eddie and Chim came out of the house. Once again, Buck wasn’t allowed to carry anything but the bear. He would have trailed further behind the group, but Athena held back and walked with him into the house.

“This place is awesome,” Eddie enthused as Buck entered the house. “A professor owns this? I guess I went into the wrong profession.”

Hen heard him and chuckled. “Being a professor isn’t all Eva does, she’s also a novelist. You might have heard of her.”

“Yeah, I don’t have a lot of time to read,” Eddie replied.

“Don’t I remember you and Buck going to that movie last year about a flight attendant who ended up being an international spy?” Hen asked.

“That was her?” Eddie asked.

“That was based off of Eva’s book, yes,” Karen said. “And that’s why she can afford this place.”

“I can see why she didn’t want it to sit empty for a year,” Athena said, looking around with an impressed look on her face.

Bobby joined them. “The kitchen is nicely appointed.”

Buck had come to a stop just inside the front door. He barely noticed the house. Instead, he was intensely aware of how many people were in it. Bobby. Athena. Eddie. Hen. Karen. He didn’t see them yet, but he could also hear Chim and Maddie. The last time he’d been around a group of that size, they’d been bidding on who could fuck him for the night.

“Buck, you all right?” Eddie asked. He approached Buck slowly, hands held carefully in front of him.

Buck wasn’t sure if the background chatter stopped or if it was just his awareness of it. He focused on Eddie. Eddie, one of the people that Buck was 100% sure would never hurt him. He took a deep breath and squeezed his bear.

“I love you, Buck! You’re my hero, thank you for saving me!”

The words immediately helped Buck relax, as did the proud smile from Eddie as he heard his son’s voice.

The sound of the bear brought everyone’s attention to Buck. He stepped back as he felt multiple sets of eyes focused on him.

“Buck, would you like a tour?” Karen asked.

Anything would be better than standing at the door, afraid to go in. Buck didn’t know Karen as well as he did Hen, but he did know one irrefutable fact about her – she didn’t like sex with men and that made her safe. He put the bear down on a nearby chair and nodded at her offer of a tour.

“Great,” Karen walked forward and offered her arm. After a moment’s consideration, Buck took it. “Bobby’s already scoped out the kitchen, let’s go take a look.”

When Bobby said the kitchen was nice, he wasn’t kidding. It was large and open, with white cabinets and tile. It was so pristine that Buck wasn’t sure he’d be comfortable cooking anything. Bobby had taught him a few things, but this kitchen was intimidating and Buck was a messy chef. There’d be no hiding it either, because the kitchen was open to a dining area.

Karen pointed down one of the hallways that connected to the kitchen. “The laundry room and Eva’s bedroom are down that way, but it’s Eva’s bedroom is the one room of the house that she requested stay private.”

Buck nodded. He understood the need to have a place that was yours and yours alone. He’d feel weird staying in the homeowner’s bedroom anyway.

The kitchen also opened up into the living room, where the rest of the fire family was. Buck spotted Maddie for the first time; he’d only heard her earlier.

“Buck!” Maddie called out. 

He hadn’t seen her for a couple of days, not wanting her to be harassed by the reporters. They’d done Facetime, but with Buck not talking, it hadn’t been very fulfilling. Buck let go of Karen and hurried to his sister, giving her a quick hug. When they pulled apart, Buck put a hand over Maddie’s stomach, eyebrows raised in question.

“Yes, the boys are fine,” Maddie laughed. “They are looking forward to spending time with their Uncle Buck.”

“Uncle Buck, that’s going to be a lifetime of movie references that won’t ever grow old,” Chim added.

Buck looked at him in confusion. 

“Uncle Buck? John Candy?” Chim asked. Seeing the continued lack of understanding on Buck’s face, Chim sighed and looked at his wife. “Did you and Buck watch any movies when you were kids?”

“Good movies,” Maddie looked at him fond exasperation. “We saw good movies when we were kids.”

“Come on, Buck, let me show you the rest of the place,” Hen gestured with her hand, but Buck looked at Maddie.

“Go on,” Maddie shooed him towards Hen. “You need to get a feel for where you’ll be living. Don’t worry, I’ll be here when you get back.”

A little reluctantly, Buck moved away from Maddie and joined Hen. 

“There are three more bedrooms down this hall,” Hen showed him. “We figured you’d like the biggest one, it has its own bathroom.”

The bedroom she showed him was a large size. On second look, it maybe looked larger than it was because there was no bed in it. Instead there was a large easy chair that was upholstered with denim.

Hen saw Buck eyeing the chair.

“When you’re ready, if you’re ever ready, the bed is being stored,” Hen told him. “In the meantime, there’s this.”

While Buck watched, Hen took off the seat cushion, revealing something that looked an awful lot like the mechanism from a sleeper sofa. Sure enough, Hen grabbed the strap and pulled. As a frame and mattress emerged from the chair, Buck saw that he was right, it was a sleeper sofa, only chair-sized.

“You’re so tall, I don’t know how comfortable you’ll be, but if this doesn’t work, we’ll bring in an air mattress or even a pile of pill-. . . .”

Hen’s voice cut off when Buck hugged her. He stepped back just as suddenly and made the thank you sign.

“You’re welcome,” Hen cleared her throat a couple of times before continuing. “The closet’s empty and there’s a dresser and bookshelf for you to use too.”

Buck wandered over to the dresser and opened a drawer. It was empty. So was the one below it. With a sense of wonder, he went to the closet. It was also empty. He smiled. He was actually going to be able to unpack his own clothes.

“Come on, let me show you the rest,” Hen moved out of the room and Buck followed.

“The other two bedrooms are pretty small,” Hen explained. “Maddie’s going to be here during the day. She’s not on bedrest anymore, but we figure that she’ll still need a place to nap. So this bedroom will be designated for her use.”

Buck took a quick look. It was a pretty nondescript room, having a bed and bookshelf. Buck looked at Hen and shrugged. Hen grinned at him. 

“I think that Chim is grateful for this arrangement.” Hen told him. “While Maddie isn’t on bedrest anymore, she can’t go to work and has to take it easy. Chim’s saving up as much of his personal time as possible for when the babies are born, but didn’t like the idea of her being alone all day. This is a win-win for him.”

He’d not thought about it like that before. Buck had been feeling like his friends and family felt he needed to have a babysitter. Maybe that was true, but Buck could also help his sister out.

“Okay, one more bedroom, c’mon,” Hen used her shoulder to nudge Buck as she left the room. He followed a little more enthusiastically.

The third and final bedroom looked a lot like ‘Maddie’s’ room. Buck glanced at Hen and lifted his eyebrow.

“This’ll be the room that the person who’s staying with you at night will be using,” Hen explained. “We figured having a room between this one and you would give you a little privacy. Tonight Bobby will be staying here.”

Buck sighed. On one hand, he felt like he was being babysat. On the other, he was relieved that Bobby would be staying with him. 

“Come on, let’s rejoin the others.” Hen suggested. 

They started back towards the main living area, but were met in the hallway by Eddie and Chim. The two men had Buck’s suitcases, box and bear in hand.

“Which room’s Buck’s?” Eddie asked.

Before Hen could say anything, Buck led the way.

“This is nice,” Eddie gave a low whistle.

“Have you looked at the back yard yet?” Chim asked. He and Maddie had been at the new house longer and had a chance to look around. “This room’s got a good view of it.”

Buck had forgotten about the outside of the house; it had slipped his mind that there would be no reporters to worry about. He went to the window and looked out. Chim was right, it was a nice yard. There was a lot of green space and tropical-looking plants. From the angle he was looking from, Buck could just barely see a deck with some chairs. He didn’t need to see all of it to know where he’d like to spend his time.

“I can put these away, if you want to get a closer look,” Eddie offered.

Shaking his head, Buck reached for the suitcases. This was something he could do for himself. His determination must have shown in his face, because, laughing softly, Eddie backed away.

“Okay, I get it,” Eddie said. “You want to organize your own stuff.”

Chimney turned to go. “Come on, let’s give Buck a little privacy to get settled.” Before he walked out of the room, however, Chim addressed Buck directly. “Don’t stay in here too long, though. There’s a pan of Bobby’s lasagna in the oven. Your nose’ll tell you when to come out.”

After the two men left Buck alone, he stood in the middle of the room, not sure what to do. It’d been a long time since he had a task to do other than bend over and take it. With just a chair and an empty dresser and bookcase, the room felt vacant and impersonal. Buck had been in far too many impersonal rooms the last nine months. For a moment, Buck felt the tingle of hands running over his skin and the sounds of ugly, ugly whispers in his ear.

A burst of laughter from the other room startled Buck out of his past. His bad memories were full of laughter too, but that laughter had been full of vicious lewdness. This laugher was clean. Joyful instead of lustful. Buck even recognized the various laughs that comprised it.

With the knowledge that his family was just steps away, Buck pushed his memories away. He pulled the first suitcase up onto the chair and opened it up.

Buck had never been too fond of chores, but putting his clothes away was therapeutic. He took his time and smoothed each garment before hanging it in the closet or placing it in a drawer. Good memories came with a lot of them, reminding him that he was a person, not just a fuck toy. 

The bear from Christopher was placed in a seat of honor, on the chair that would be Buck’s bed. Once it was in place, the room felt less hollow. Buck rooted through the box with the pictures and other items that had been in his room at Bobby and Athena’s. He placed them on the bookshelf and the reminders of his friends and family helped dispel the last of the bad memories.

By the time he was finished, there was a wonderful smell wafting in from the hallway. Chim was right, Buck’s nose would tell him when it was time to return to the others. Reluctantly, Buck left his new room, giving it one last glance before leaving and turning the light out.

He put his hands in his pockets as he walked towards the others. On the edge of the living room, he peeked in. Everyone was still there, Eddie was setting the table, Maddie was laying on the couch with her feet in Chimney’s lap and Hen and Karen were on a loveseat right next to it. Bobby and Athena could be heard in the kitchen.

“There you are,” Maddie called from the sofa. “Supper’s about ready.”

“And just so you’re not surprised, there’s going to be one more joining us,” Eddie added.

Panic flashed through Buck. What if it was one of the kids?

Eddie saw Buck’s alarm. “Don’t worry, it’s not Christopher or any of the other kids. It’s Carla.” He smiled sheepishly. “She’s been almost as vocal as Christopher about wanting to see you.” He glanced again at Buck. “Is that okay with you?”

Buck nodded. It would be good to see Carla again.

“Good,” Eddie grabbed his phone and looked at the screen. “Because she’s here.”

As Eddie walked towards the door, Buck stayed frozen in place. Each time he was reunited with one of his friends, it reminded him that he wasn’t the man he was before. He dreaded the rejection that he knew that he deserved.

“Buck?” Maddie called out softly.

He’d been staring at the door, but when Maddie said his name, Buck glanced over at her.

“It’s Carla,” Maddie told him with a smile. “She loves you.”

Buck blew out a deep breath and nodded. 

Eddie opened the front door and Carla walked in. Her eyes immediately locked on Buck. Carla handed Eddie a covered dish without taking her eyes off of Buck and she made a beeline towards him.

“Oh, my Lord,” Carla said as she looked up at Buck. “Sweetheart, it is so good to see you.” 

Buck ducked his head shyly. 

“Oh, come here,” Carla held her arms out and Buck came forward for a hug. Cara was a lot shorter than him and so she had stand on her tiptoes to reach him. 

Carla was family more than a friend and Buck was very glad to see her, but he was also very aware of his other friends watching. The sense of eyes on him made Buck uncomfortable. Carla was a people person and felt his hesitation. She ended the hug and stepped back, wiping her eyes while she did.

Buck made a small sound of dismay and touched the area underneath his eye.

“These are tears of joy,” Carla assured him. “Don’t you worry.” She shook her head as she continued to look at him. “You are way too skinny.” She turned towards the kitchen. “Is that supper ready yet, this boy needs to eat.”

Bobby came out of the kitchen holding a pan of lasagna. “Perfect timing, dinner is served.”

Technically, the dining table wasn’t large enough to hold nine people, but they made do anyway. At first Buck was tense at being in close quarters with so many people, but as the meal went on, he began to relax. Nearly everyone he loved was at the table. As he looked at each face, Buck was keenly aware that these people would never hurt him.

This house was new to him, but the people in it weren’t. Maddie and Chim with their laughter and love. Bobby and Athena with their strength and faith. Hen and Karen with their compassion. Carla with her loyalty. And Eddie with. . . . 

Buck shied away from thinking too much about what Eddie was.

Home, Buck realized, was the people you love and he was surrounded by his.

Finally, Buck was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It figures, the one time I miss my Sunday posting deadline and it's the last chapter of the story. Sorry about that! I don't know if it was stress from everything going on in the world or the fact that it was the last chapter, but this one fought me every step of the way.
> 
> There will be a sequel, tentatively titled "The Long Way Back" and I anticipate beginning to post in April, probably towards the end of the month.
> 
> Thank you for your patience and all of the lovely comments. I appreciate both. Take care during this chaotic time and I wish health and happiness to you and your loved ones.


	22. Epilogue: Jackie's Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When I said that I was wrapping this story up, but that there would be a sequel, someone asked me to post a note here so they'd know when the sequel was available. The sequel is titled "The Long Way Back" and I plan on posting the first chapter on Sunday, May 31. 
> 
> I felt bad about the idea of posting just an author's note, so instead I'm posting, not really an epilogue, but an extra bit from this story. In Chapter 13, FBI Agent Whittaker gives Buck letter written by Jackie Unger, another tsunami victim taken by the Menagerie. This chapter is the contents of that letter.

_Dear Buck, _

_The FBI told me that you’ve been rescued. If anyone deserved to get out of there, it was you. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell them about you earlier, but I couldn’t. My therapist says that’s okay, that I’ve only just begun to heal, but that’s a cop out and I know it. _

_I didn’t save myself from the tsunami, you did that._

_ I didn’t let them do horrible things to keep me safe, you did that. _

_I didn’t save myself, the pissed off wife of the man who bought me did that. _

_And once I was safe, did I tell the authorities about you so they could save you too? No, I did not do that. _

_I told the FBI about the Menagerie, about how Melanie died and what they did to people. I told them as much as I could remember about how they moved us and who their customers were. But I didn’t tell them about you and what you did for me. It’s going to take awhile for me to forgive myself for that. I hope you forgive me, but I guess I’ll understand if you don’t. _

_The only thing I ever did for you was to not tell Carlyle and Cory your name. What I knew of it anyway. Given what it rhymes with, can you imagine the fun they would have had with that? All that you went through for me and the only thing I did for you was to withhold a name. It’s not fair. _

_And on top of that…. _

_Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want to see you. Not now. Maybe not ever. Thank you for all you did for me – I know you did your best and you did so much more than anyone else would do for a stranger. But the thought of seeing you brings back things I thought I’d forgot, but I guess I didn’t. I just buried some things. Maybe someday I’ll be recovered enough to want to see you again, but I can’t imagine that happening any time soon. _

_So, thank you. Thank you for saving me from the tsunami. Thank you for trying to save me from them. Take care and let your family help you. My therapist tells me there’s a way back from the Menagerie. I can’t see it yet, but I’m beginning to believe it’s there. I hope you find it too. _

_Jackie_


End file.
